“I get it, Julie.”
“Good.”
Derek sulked lower in his chair and leaned his head on my shoulder. I dropped my head on top of his and took his hand.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered because I didn’t know what else to say.
I was sorry.
I couldn’t imagine what poor Derek was going through, and I knew that these last nine months were only the beginning of the hardest days of his life. He was about to become a father, and the mother of his unborn child didn’t care if she never saw him again. She blamed him for their unplanned pregnancy—him and him alone. She didn’t want to take the responsibility for it. For that, and everyone agreed with me, she was wrong.
Even Luke had tried to reason with her—it takes two to tango, he’d said—and that was saying something considering the fact that he wanted to murder Derek when he first found out about the pregnancy. But instead of killing my best friend, Luke simply took the high road. He invited him out for a guy’s night. They spent time together. They talked.
And then the weirdest thing of all happened…
Luke apologized to Derek for everything. They put the past behind them.
“You wanna go grab some coffee?” Derek asked, and he squeezed my fingers gently. “If she’s not going to let me in there, I need to focus my attention elsewhere, or I’m gonna go nuts.”
“Sure,” I turned back to the others, “can we bring anything back for you guys?”
Grace and Lonnie politely declined my offer. Luke, sitting only a few chairs away, didn’t even turn his head away from Molly as they sat flipping through a magazine.
“Luke?”
“Hmm?” He quirked an eyebrow and looked my way.
“Coffee?”
“Nah, you guys go ahead.” With a small smile and a quick wink, he turned his attention back to his niece.
Gone were the days of insane jealousy now that he and Derek were semi-related. And I couldn’t lie; it was nice that Luke finally trusted the both of us enough to walk away, grab coffee, and just spend time together without giving me the third degree. It was a much needed improvement from the way things used to be.
Leaving the others to wait together, Derek and I turned out of the waiting and room and walked down the hall.
“Oh, I forgot to show you,” he reached into his back pocket to retrieve his cell phone. “The nursery’s done.”
He flipped through his pictures until he found the ones he’d taken of his smallest bedroom. He’d been working on it for months, a little bit at a time—new carpet, new baseboards, and new paint. He’d really put everything he had into transforming Hannah’s old bedroom into a gorgeous nursery. It was sweet the way Derek was approaching the whole fatherhood thing. It wasn’t something he’d ever expected, and it wasn’t something any of us were ready for, but he was handling it like a pro. I worried, as did Luke and Charlie, that Derek was going to end up completely heartbroken after he realized that Rebecca was going to control every second of that baby’s time and how it was spent.
With the way she snubbed him on a daily basis, we all figured she’d rather be shot than to let Derek play an active role in her child’s life. I was honestly surprised that she’d even let him drive her to the hospital tonight.
“Green’s gender-neutral, right?” he asked, trying to fight a stupid grin.
I flipped through a few pictures and nodded.
“Yeah,” I tried to disguise the sadness in my voice as I let him take his phone again, “green’s perfect.”
“You don’t seem excited—”
“I’m excited, Derek. I’m just... I’m trying to be realistic. You know how the last nine months have been. Rebecca won’t even look at you, let alone come within ten feet of you. What makes you think she’s going to let you anywhere near the baby?”
He looked at the picture still on the screen, and a small smile tugged at his lip.
“I’m taking the baby home,” he said, finally tucking his phone back in his pocket. “As soon as we leave the hospital, the baby’s coming home with me.”
“Ha! You’ve lost your mind, haven’t you? She’ll never stand for that—”
“She’s already agreed to it, Julie,” he said, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Derek walked a few extra feet before realizing that I hadn’t kept pace, and he turned back to meet my gaze. “What?”
“She’s already agreed to what, exactly?”
He pushed his glasses up, and his chest rose with a deep breath.
“I’m going to raise the baby alone, Julie.”
“No, you’re not—”
“Yes, I am—”
“No, you’re not—”
“See, this is why I didn’t tell you,” he dropped his shoulders. “I knew you’d react like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like you know what’s best,” he said, “like you think that I can’t… like you think that I can’t do it.”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I tried as hard as I could to steady my breathing before I opened my mouth again to say another word.
Derek was standing only inches away when I opened my eyes.
“I can do this, Julie,” he said, planting his hands on my shoulders, “and I’m going to do it.”
“I just think you need to consider—”
“She was going to put the baby up for adoption,” he said. “What choice did I have? I wasn’t about to let her give my baby to some stranger.”
“She wasn’t…?” I looked over my shoulder before turning back to Derek. “She wasn’t going to keep the baby?”
“No,” he sounded just as breathless as I felt. “She said that she’s been there. She’s done the ‘kid- thing’ once before, and Molly’s dad bailed the moment things got hard. She said she wouldn’t do it again. And when I assured her—promised her—that I’d be there, she nearly laughed in my face. She doesn’t want a life with me, and the last thing she wants is to raise another child alone. I was just some fling, and I get that. She doesn’t want me; she doesn’t want the baby. But I do. It’s my son or daughter that we’re talking about. Mine. It’s not even up for discussion, Julie. I’m doing this.”
I let another slow breath pass through my lips. Derek had been keeping it together pretty well over the last few weeks, but it was honestly the first time in nine months that I’d seen him so adamant, so composed, so… heroic.
But it just seemed odd to me. If Rebecca hadn’t planned to keep her child, what was with that speech that she gave Lonnie and Grace a few months ago about family and sticking together? Why did she even bother to tell them the truth if she wasn’t going to play an active role in her child’s life? Had she just used her pregnancy as a selfish attempt to break the ice with her father, knowing that she wasn’t even going to be there when the baby actually needed family? Would Rebecca do something that shallow? I just… I didn’t know. Even after all the time I’d known her, I didn’t know Luke’s sister well enough to guess one way or the other.
“Derek, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” I reached forward to take his hand. “I had no idea you felt so strongly.”
“Well, I do. It’s not that complicated, Julie,” he shrugged a shoulder. “I’m going to be a dad. What’s there to question?”
“Rebecca’s not going to be involved at all?” I asked just to make sure I’d heard him correctly. He nodded slowly. “Has she told anyone? Does Luke know? Lonnie or Grace? Has she said anything to any of them?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I can’t imagine so. Someone would’ve said something by now, right?”
Yeah. I figured that much was true. Luke was going to be heartbroken when he learned that his sister was giving up a child, even if she was only giving it up to someone he’d still see nearly every day.
“You’re not going to go through this alone, you know that right?” I asked, and without any indication from each other, we both started walking toward the coffee shop again. “Lonnie and Grace will be there
for you. Luke and I… you’ll probably be sick of us by the time the kid’s one. You’ll never shake us—”
“I don’t doubt that; I can barely shake you now.”
“Hey,” I said, matching his smile. His arm landed across my shoulders and he pulled me closer to his side.
“God, I love you,” he pressed a kiss to my temple.
“I love you most.”
And together we walked through the doors of the hospital’s tiny café.
Five
“I’m going to take Molly home,” Luke whispered close to my ear as he cradled his niece to his chest. “The nurse said it could be hours at this rate, and she needs to get a good night’s sleep in her own bed.”
“Yeah,” I rubbed my eyes and nodded.
We’d been at the hospital for five hours. Grace and Lonnie had left hours ago, and I could see the restlessness getting to Luke, as well. He used Molly as an excuse, but it wasn’t hard to see that he needed some rest of his own.
“Do you want me to come?”
“No,” he looked across the room at one very wide-eyed Milton, “you might want to stay and keep him company.”
“I’m fine, guys,” Derek tapped his hands on his legs, “just go. I’ll call if there’s any news.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he stood to give me a hug, “get some rest. We’ll talk soon.”
I led the way back to the car as Luke carried Molly. He secured her in the backseat and wiped her hair from her eyes. She didn’t stir once during the transition.
He pulled up to the house five minutes later.
The Halloween bash had died off hours ago, and all that was left of the party was a small waft of smoke emanating from the logs out back.
Luke leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
“Get some sleep,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come back to Rebecca’s with you?” I asked. “I can help with Molly.”
“She pretty much takes care of herself,” he said, looking at her in the rearview mirror. “I think we’ll be okay.”
“Alright,” I felt my eyes grow heavier by the moment.
I let myself out of the car, but I didn’t shut my door right away. I stood there, still overwhelmed by everything that had unfolded in a few short hours, and leaned back down to look at Luke.
“You okay?”
“I love you, Lucas Reibeck.”
“Mmm,” he savored the moment, as he always did. He always told me how much he craved hearing those words, and I had no problem sharing them. It thrilled me to see him revel in my admiration for him. “I love you too, kid.”
And with a smile, I shut the door and backed away.
Luke didn’t drive away until I’d unlocked the front door, and when I met the scowl on Charlie’s face seconds later, I suddenly found myself wishing that Luke hadn’t left at all.
“Are we really gonna do this tonight?” I asked, checking my phone. 3:12 a.m.
“Where’ve you been?” he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“The hospital,” I said, “Rebecca’s in labor. They left the party hours ago—”
“Right,” he said, now rubbing his head.
Based on the tired lines around Charlie’s lips and his increasingly heavy eyes, I assumed he’d just woken up from an intoxicated slumber. Most people favored weddings or St. Patrick’s Day for a good, drunken night of fun, but Charlie always chose Halloween.
“Did you…” I looked toward the stairs and back to my uncle, “did you hear from Matt at all tonight?”
“No,” he said in a low voice. His eyes flittered slowly, and he dropped his head to stare at the floor. “Was I s’pose to?”
“No.” Charlie took a few stumbles backward, and I looked behind him to notice a pile of blankets on the couch. I assumed he must’ve been sleeping there before Luke’s headlights flashed through the front windows and woke him. I patted his back and led him back over to his makeshift bed.
“Alright, why don’t you lie down,” I helped him back down on the cushion. He put a lot of his weight on my shoulders as he sat back, and I half-laughed. “Get some rest, Charlie. We have a lot of cleaning up to do tomorrow.”
My uncle started settling himself as I made my way for the stairs.
“Hey, Julie,” he said, and through his slurs it sounded a lot more like hey, Choolie.
“Yeah?” I turned back.
“You’re gonna leave me, aren’t you?” He nestled his face into the back of the couch.
“I’m just going upstairs, Charlie. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You’re gonna move in with Luke in that house that he bought,” he said, and his tone was void of any emotion. As his breathing grew heavier, I already sensed him falling back asleep. “You’re gonna leave me all alone,” he nearly whispered. “Please don’t. I don’t want to be alone…”
And before I had time to respond, he was snoring.
I pulled my lips inward and watched my sleeping uncle for a few long minutes. I left the bottom step and headed back for the couch, carefully tucking him beneath his favorite old quilt.
“I love you, Charlie,” I whispered, and I pushed a tuft of his graying hair from his forehead. “Sleep tight.”
Back on the second floor a few minutes later, I stopped off at Matt’s room and found him strewn across his bed, still wearing his ugly mask. I went in and removed the mask as easily as I could without waking him, and I set it aside on his empty dresser.
It was weird seeing him home, sleeping in his own bed. But even in his sleep, Mattie looked lost and confused—almost as lost and confused as his father looked downstairs.
This wasn’t the same Matthew Little I’d known since birth. Physically, yes. It was him. But the person lying there, taking shallow breaths in his slumber, was supposed to be off getting the best culinary education money could buy. He’d come home. He’d quit. He’d given up. And I had no idea why.
The Matthew Little I’d known was probably the bravest person I’d ever known. He knew what he wanted, he focused on that goal, and he didn’t let a single thing stand in his way on the path to achieving that dream. Even when he had doubts, even when times got really hard, he kept moving forward. He kept fighting for what he wanted. He’d left with a three-step plan: gain the experience, open a restaurant, and win back the girl of his dreams. Nothing else mattered.
So why? Why quit now? Who was this guy, and what had he done with my cousin?
Charlie was still snoring on the couch by the time I left. Despite the fact that I’d gone to bed so late, I couldn’t fall asleep. I tried everything from counting sheep to a warm glass of milk, but nothing helped me drift off. Back in the day, a shower would’ve worked wonders. But I found late-night showers more traumatizing than relaxing nowadays.
Thoughts of Charlie’s final words had kept me stirring, tossing and turning, and beating myself up. Wide awake, my uncle would’ve never said the things that he’d said to me the night before. Tired, incoherent, and a little hung-over, obviously he would. I spent the next hour trying to figure out Matt’s motivation for coming home, when my train of thought finally fell on Derek, Rebecca, and the sudden news that the baby was going to be raised by a single father.
I finally managed to doze off sometime around five, but a six a.m. text from Derek (letting me know that there was still no news) jolted me awake. I rolled out of bed, took a super-fast shower, and dressed for the day. I didn’t have any definite plan for where I was heading, only that I needed to get out and let the cool autumn breeze give me a little guidance and clarity.
A lot had happened in the past twenty-four hours. Matt showed up unexpectedly. Luke’s moods were incredibly unpredictable. Hot-headed and in a fury, he’d tried to leave the party after talking with Charlie, but I had no idea what was said between the two of them. I think he’d tried telling me the night before, but then Lonnie called to summon u
s to the hospital. Rebecca was in labor, Derek was about to become a single father, and Charlie begged me not to leave him.
What the hell was happening in Oakland?
I ended up at the little diner in the District about five minutes later. Little did I know, I wouldn’t find the alone time I was so desperately searching for.
“Rough night?” Bruno looked up from his newspaper and nodded at the seat across from his.
“Don’t get me started,” I slid into the booth and joined him, and I took no time at all to rifle through the sections he’d already discarded. I leafed through the comics, only pretending to read for a few drawn seconds before I slammed the newspaper on the table, causing Bruno to jump. “What’s the deal with everyone lately?”
His eyes widened and he folded the paper, knowing he wouldn’t get to finish his article. He set it aside quietly, folded both hands on the table in front of him, and leaned forward.
“What’s on your mind, Miss Julie?”
“Bruno,” I tried to find my breath, but I wasn’t really sure when I’d lost it. Back on the street, thinking about everything that had unfolded, I must’ve winded myself. I couldn’t get a single thought in order. “I just… why is it that… why?”
“Good question,” he nodded and leaned a little closer. And, silly as his response was, I don’t think he was humoring me. I think he truly understood. Why does everything have to be so hard?
“Matt dropped out of school,” I said, suddenly finding my voice again. “He’s home and hiding in his bedroom so Charlie won’t find out. Luke’s had more hormonal ups and downs than a pregnant woman lately, and I should know, I’ve been working alongside his sister for the past nine months! Not to mention, I just found out that Rebecca’s not even keeping the baby—did you know that? And here we have Derek stepping up, thinking he’s going to raise the baby all by himself. What the hell does Derek know about raising a kid? The last person he looked after ended up in jail for attempted murder! Is that really the kind of influence that kid needs? And—don’t—get—me—started— on—Charlie! What is the deal with him lately? I swear he’s out to get Luke, and I don’t know why. I feel like they’re always at each other’s throats about something. Luke tried to tell me last night, but I didn’t give him a chance because Rebecca went into labor and all I could think about was getting to the hospital to be with my best friend, and—”
Just a Little Sequel Page 4
