This wasn’t about Luke at all.
“You know, I feel bad for you,” I reached forward to take his hand. Despite my pain, I squeezed his fingers and held him tight. “And I’m really offended that you think I’m not smart enough to see what this is really about. My marrying Luke has nothing to do with me, him, or the fact that we’re not in the same place. It has everything to do with the fact that Aunt Laurie is dead, Mattie’s been gone, and when I leave, you’ll be all alone.”
He closed his eyes and didn’t utter a word.
“I love you,” I said. “You’ve been one of the few constants in my life for my entire life, Charlie. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you these past few years. The last thing I want is to hurt you, but I’m not about to let you keep me from having all of the things I want in life just because you don’t know how to be alone. So,” I took a deep breath and considered my options, “I think it’s probably best if I just move out. You don’t need the added stress and responsibility of being my caretaker, and I most certainly don’t need the burden of protecting your lonely heart. Luke is good enough for me, and you know it. You’re being selfish, and I’m not playing this game with you anymore.”
Derek needed to leave the hospital for a while to go home, shower, and change into fresh clothes. Charlie and Bruno left a few minutes earlier, leaving Rebecca alone to spend some time with the baby.
Derek gave me a lift to the new house, and I thanked him with a long hug before I got out. I was thankful that Luke had showed him the place once before, because I wouldn’t have remembered my way back without some serious guidance. Derek pulled out of the driveway, waving the moment I shut the car door, and I looked up to stare at the house.
It was a beautiful place, I had to admit. The brick-faced home reminded me a lot of a smaller version of the house I’d grown up in back in West Bridge; the shutters were dark and bold, and the front door was a distinct shade of gray. The attached garage was set off the right side of the house, and the windows were all covered from the inside. The yard was neatly landscaped, not a single leaf in the grass despite the large maple tree out front.
I walked up to the front stoop and thought of knocking, but why knock? Hadn’t Luke bought this house for us to share? I turned the knob, hoping it’d be unlocked, and much to my surprise it was.
I walked in and closed the door quietly behind me, not wanting to make too much noise. If Luke had heard me come in and suspected a stranger breaking and entering, he might turn the corner and start shooting.
“Luke,” I thought it was best to just let him know I was there. “Hello?”
I peeked into the kitchen and the dining room. I checked the spare rooms, the home office, and the living room. The master bedroom door was closed, so I imagined he’d done exactly what I’d suggested by coming home and going straight to bed.
I cracked the door, expecting to find him buried under the blankets and sleeping soundly, but the bed was still made and completely untouched. The door to the master bathroom, though, was closed, and I vividly heard the shower running.
Feeling a grin creep up my lips, I tiptoed toward the bathroom and opened the door.
Luke was singing to himself, something so out of tune that I didn’t even recognize the song. He wasn’t wailing or putting on any kind of show, just softly singing and humming, as if it was somehow meditative. I closed the door quietly behind me, and Luke’s singing stopped immediately.
“It’s just me,” I said.
He didn’t say anything; he didn’t question how I’d gotten there or if I’d found the place okay. He didn’t even ask how I’d gotten into the house without a key, which would’ve given me the perfect opportunity to point out that he’d neglected to lock up.
“My, my, my, how the tables have turned, Reibeck.”
“What are you doing in here, Julie?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Well, can we talk when I’m done?” he sounded a little offended that I’d just let myself in. “I’m trying to shower.”
“Payback’s a bitch, or so I’m told,” I took a seat on the toilet and kicked my feet up against the wall. “I clearly remember a time or two when you snuck in on me in the shower.”
“Yes, and I’m sorry, but could you please just—”
“Am I making you uncomfortable, Luke?”
“Very.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, but I still didn’t move. I figured, based on his tone, I should probably just cut to the chase. The last thing Luke would do is stand there and make small talk. “I talked to Charlie. I told him I was moving out.”
Luke kept quiet, and I listened as the water pelted the shower floor.
“I hope the offer still stands for me to come here, because if not, then I might be screwed.”
“Jules,” he whispered, and I barely heard him over the water, “of course you’re coming here.”
“You didn’t tell me that you’d asked him more than once, Luke,” I said. “I didn’t know… I mean, is that why you’ve been acting so funny? Is that why you’ve shut down so much lately?” It made sense. Based on the timeline that Charlie had given me, all the times that Luke had supposedly gone to him and asked for permission perfectly corresponded with all the times that Luke had gone through his little emotional withdrawals. “I really wish you had said something.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“It is.”
“In all fairness, Julie, you’re the one who said you wanted Charlie’s blessing. I was just doing what you asked me to do.”
“But I never asked you to kill yourself trying.”
“Can we please have this conversation when I’m done?”
“No,” I said, standing up, “because I’m not going to give you the opportunity to run away from me. What was that back there at the hospital? You haven’t pulled a stunt like that in a long, long time, Luke. You just disappeared, and you didn’t even bother calling me. If I don’t talk to you now while you have nowhere else to go, I’m not sure you’ll stick around long enough to let me get two words in.”
“Julie, really, I’d be happy to continue this in five minutes,” he said, “but can you please just go? This is really the type of conversation we should have face-to-face.”
Without a second thought, I whipped back the curtain and met Luke’s stunned expression. His dark hair was drowning in suds, and he stared at me wide-eyed with his mouth agape. I watched him standing there, tanned, naked, wet, and perfectly irresistible. I somehow managed to keep my eyes from wandering southward... for the most part.
“You wanna talk face-to-face, Luke,” I shrugged a shoulder, “let’s talk face-to-face.” He still hadn’t moved a single muscle; he was shocked, stunned, plastered in place. “We need to figure this out. I’m not mad at you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. I’m not angry, not even a little. But we need to have a real conversation without you walking away, Luke. After keeping something that important from me, I really think you owe me one talk.”
Still, Luke’s expression didn’t change.
I nodded once and took a deep breath. Really, that’s all I had to say, so I didn’t see the need in making him uncomfortable for another second.
“Now,” I cleared my throat, “I’ll let you finish your shower, but don’t think for a second that this conversation is over.”
I shut the curtain, trying my damnedest not to fan myself as I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
I threw myself down on Luke’s bed, burying my face into his pillow. A moment later, the water turned off, and I heard the shower curtain open once again. It was another five minutes before the bathroom door clicked open, and I turned my head to see Luke leaning in the doorway. Now wearing nothing more than a pair of dark jeans, he tilted his head and watched me with zero expression—zip, zilch, nothing. I had no idea how to read him.
I cracked a smile again, and his smile followed soon thereafter.
“I’m not really sure what just happened in there,” he grinned sheepishly.
“Things got real,” I giggled into the pillow.
“Yeah,” he said, “Julie, I was naked—”
“Yes, you were!” I rolled over onto my back and propped my hands up under my head. “Congratulations, by the way. Because… wow!”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Have you… have you seen yourself? I mean, have you just stood in a mirror and just… wow.”
“Julie.”
I tried to restrain a laugh because I was certain that I’d just seen Luke blush for the first time since we’d met. His cheeks actually turned so red that he could’ve been mistaken for a giant tomato. He covered his face with both of his hands, hiding his obvious embarrassment.
“Oh, stop that,” I said, sitting up. I reached forward, grabbed his arm, and pulled him toward the bed. He sat down, and I cozied up next to him. “If you want me to apologize, I’ll apologize.”
“Are you sorry?”
“No.”
“Then don’t waste your breath,” he smiled.
“I just… I don’t know, Luke,” I ignored his smile. It was fun to joke for a moment, but the last thing I needed was for him to start looking all cute and victimized. It would make it a lot harder for me to concentrate on the seriousness of my feelings. “I meant what I said in there. I really think it’s time for us to sit down and talk. I mean, really, really talk about what we want from here on out. We’ve never really done that, and I don’t want to risk losing you just because you and Charlie can’t see eye to eye.”
“Hey,” he lifted my chin. “Are you kidding me, right now? That’s never going to happen, okay? You’re never going to lose me, Julie.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Good,” I half-smiled, “good to know.”
Nine
I slept at the new house.
Luke and I never got around to having that important conversation. My mind was just too littered with other things, and I couldn’t focus long enough to get a coherent sentence out. We both agreed that a good night’s sleep might be a better idea for the both of us, but sleep failed to find me for the second night in a row. Curled up in bed, snuggled under all of the warm blankets, and holding on to the man of my dreams, I still couldn’t quit thinking about the things I’d said to Charlie.
It was cold, the way I’d talked to him. I didn’t want the burden of protecting his lonely heart? What the heck? After everything he’d done for me, especially since my parents died, I went and said something like that? He had every right to hate me.
He’d probably dumped everything I owned on the front lawn by now. He would probably stand on the porch, waving with glee as I loaded up the car, drove away, and moved on to a new place with a new future in sight.
And I deserved it. I deserved every terrible thing that came my way. How could I have said something so… so… so… awful?
“Where’s the rest of your furniture?” I surveyed the house for the first time in the daylight. Luke was in the kitchen making breakfast while I wandered around. It took a moment for it to dawn on me that, while his bed and the rest of his bedroom furniture were already at the house, none of his other furniture had made the move.
“It’s still at the apartment.”
“I thought you moved from the apartment? I thought you were done there? Too much back and forth, remember?”
“Right,” he said, “but I barely used any of that stuff. I’m probably just going to leave it there for whoever sublets.”
“For whoever sublets…?”
“I’d just renewed my lease right before I found this place,” he said. “I’d been searching for a house for months, but I hadn’t found one. I thought I’d have to stay at the apartment for another year, so I signed on the dotted line again in the spring.”
“How long are you locked in there?”
“Without breaking the contract? Seven months.”
“And you’re allowed to sublet?”
“No rules against it.”
“Great,” I said, jumping up on the counter to watch as he scrambled the eggs and flipped the bacon. “I might know the perfect tenant for you.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“And who’s that?”
“Mattie dropped out of the university,” I said. “He showed up on Friday before the party to drop that bomb.” Luke’s mouth gaped open, but I continued, “he was actually at the party, and he’s been hiding up in his room since he got home. Charlie doesn’t even know he’s there. He doesn’t want to go back to school; of course, he’s not saying why. He doesn’t want to crash at the house, but he doesn’t really have any anywhere else to go right now.”
“And you’re sure he’s not going back?”
“That’s what he says,” I said, “but I don’t know. It just seems weird, right?”
“Really weird.” I saw that same familiar look cross Luke’s face that had crossed mine a hundred times before. It read a lot like but it’s Matt!
I watched as he finished making breakfast. Once the eggs were scrambled and the bacon was crisp, I jumped down from the counter and grabbed two plates from the cabinet.
“If you leave all of your furniture at the apartment, what are we going to use here?”
“I thought that was something you’d want to do together, pick out furniture and what not.”
“Right, but you didn’t think I’d want to give my input during the house hunting process?”
He looked over his shoulder and grinned, and I winked at him.
“We’ll eat and then head over to the house to get your things,” he said. “How’s that sound?”
“Good,” I said, “and maybe you can drop a bug in Matt’s ear about the apartment. I seriously think he’ll be interested.”
“Yeah, absolutely,” he said, and as Luke went to pluck silverware from a drawer, something very interesting dawned on me: we were just there, both of us, in our kitchen having a normal conversation. It was the first of many times when we’d share moments like that. It was the first of a lifetime of boring, irrelevant, breakfast talk. But no matter how boring or irrelevant, I couldn’t ignore the magnitude of that moment.
For the first time since I’d met Luke, I finally felt like there was something promising about our future. We were in the same place at the same time.
And I loved that.
I loved him.
I was so ready for our happily ever after to start unfolding.
We arrived at the house an hour after breakfast. Luke wasn’t in any big hurry to find my uncle, but I searched every room until I finally found Matt upstairs. He relayed the message that Charlie had been working at the station since the previous night. I didn’t like hearing that. Charlie only overworked himself when he had to, or when he was so stressed that he was about to snap.
Matt didn’t seem to mind his father’s absence. Walking around the house in nothing but his boxers and a pair of socks, he sat in the living room watching TV and messing with his phone. It’s not that Charlie’s heartache didn’t faze him; it was simply that he enjoyed having a little extra freedom without his father even knowing he was home.
Luke had stopped off and picked up dozens of discarded cardboard boxes from local grocery stores, but I doubted I’d need that many to pack; my room wasn’t necessarily spilling over with personal belongings. The bed, along with all of the other furniture, belonged to my Uncle. It was there when I moved in. I folded up my clothes, wrapped my pictures, and packed the rest of my things, and little by little I managed to get everything arranged into their own respective boxes.
Luke took the opportunity to show me space-saving tips on packing, and I took a moment to remind him that I didn’t really give a hoot. I knew he meant well, but I couldn’t find his OCD too endearing at that moment; as much as I looked forward to living with Luke for the rest of my life, I didn
’t look forward to leaving Charlie behind.
Luke retreated downstairs about one hour into the packing to finally ask Matt about the apartment; I started down the stairs just as I heard the two of them start talking. I set a box aside on the floor and sat down to eavesdrop.
It was silly, yes, but I’d sat on that back staircase so many times and listened in on so many conversations, what was one more?
“Oh, come on, what are you doing?” I heard Luke ask. After what sounded like a brief struggle, I heard the distinct sound of something going in the garbage can.
“Dude, what the—”
“Frozen pizza, Matt? Seriously? Who are you?” Luke asked. “Why aren’t you at school?”
“I dropped out.”
“Right, but why?”
“The details aren’t necessary, man,” Matt said, and then I swore I could hear him rifling through the garbage.
“Yeah, well, they’re necessary to us,” Luke said. “You know Julie is worried sick about you.”
“That’s her problem,” Matt said. “I never asked her to worry about me.”
“Why—are—you—here?” Luke asked, and I could hear the frustration mounting in his voice.
I stood from the middle step, reached back and grabbed my box, and continued down to the first floor.
“Hey, boys,” I stepped in before there was any chance that Luke snapped Matt’s head off. “You guys ready to help me start loading up? I’m all packed and ready to go.”
Luke looked between both Matt and me, and with a long, slow breath, he turned for the stairs. I watched Matt with the most disappointed look in my eye, and he shrugged a single shoulder.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he mumbled, and he turned back to the few slices of pizza Luke hadn’t tossed in the garbage.
He didn’t want to talk about it—popular excuse. And I didn’t press it any further. I wasn’t going to force him to have a conversation that he didn’t want to have.
“Listen,” I turned back to him before I started outside, “I’m not saying that you have to tell Charlie you’re home, but I don’t think it would be such a bad idea, Mattie. He’s in a really bad place right now, with me leaving and all. I think it might be comforting for him to know that you’re back, if even for a little while. He might enjoy the company.”
Just a Little Sequel Page 7
