by K. C. Wells
Ed handed back his phone. “Then go see him. Tomorrow.”
“Just like that? Do I tell him I’m coming?”
Ed shook his head. “Nah, he’ll only try an’ put you off, if this e-mail is anything to go by. Can you get off early tomorrow? Assumin’ there’s a flight, of course.”
Colin reached for the mouse. “There’s only one way to find out.” Ed shifted to stand at his side while he pulled up the website. When he bent down to kiss Colin’s head, Colin raised his chin and smiled. “What was that for?”
“That was for ’avin’ a big ‘eart.” Ed peered at his desk. “Where’s your lunch?”
“I was going to skip it, while you were here.”
Ed growled. “Oh no, you don’t. Go get whatever you’re eatin’. I’ll stay ’ere an’ look for flights.”
Something occurred to him. “Why aren’t you at work?”
Ed gazed at him, his eyes warm. “I told ’em I ’ad somewhere important to be, an’ that I’d be gone for a couple of hours.”
Colin stood up and kissed him. “Then I’ll bring lunch for two.”
Ed’s eyes gleamed. “Is this a workin’ lunch or…?” He leered.
Colin shook his head, laughing. “Get those ideas right out of your head this minute. For one thing, there are enough people in and out of this office to make whatever you’re thinking, extremely impractical.”
Ed pouted like a little kid. “Spoilsport.” Then he grinned. “Well, go on, then. Get yer arse into gear. We’ve got lunch to eat an’ a flight to book.” He sat in Colin’s chair and swivelled around on it. “Pity, though. We could get up to all sorts in this.”
Colin was still laughing when he reached the staff kitchen.
* * * * * *
It was beginning to feel like a case of déjà-vu.
Colin paid the driver, got out of the taxi and walked across the courtyard to the main door of Ray’s building. It had been good of Simon Wilson to give him the time off: he hadn’t even batted an eyelid when Colin had made the request. The only difference had been no visit to Trinity to see Ed—there hadn’t been enough time.
He climbed the stairs, his mind already on what awaited him at the top. He hoped Ray wouldn’t be pissed off that he’d come unannounced, but Ed was right: Ray would have prevaricated.
Colin pressed the doorbell and waited. Surprisingly, the door opened quickly and a young woman stood there in a pale blue uniform. She blinked.
“Are you here to see Ray?” she asked in a soft voice.
He nodded. “Is this a bad time?”
She huffed. “Where are ma manners? Come in.” She stood aside to let him enter, and then closed the door quietly behind him. “Here, let me take your jacket.” She helped him out of it, before hanging it on a hook. “Ray is asleep right now.”
“Oh.”
She studied him for a moment. “I was about to make maself a cup of tea. Would you like one?”
“Make it a coffee, then yes,” he said with a smile. “And the name’s Colin.”
Her eyes widened. “Ah. I was wonderin’. Nice to put a face to the name. I’m Kelly, by the way.”
They walked into the living room/kitchen and she filled the kettle. “So Ray has mentioned me?” He kept his voice low.
Kelly nodded, her back to him as she put out two mugs. “He told me you were payin’ him a visit, back in April. But when I asked how it had gone, I got the impression I’d asked the wrong question.” She turned around and leaned against the sink. “Which I thought was sad, seein’ as you’re the only person he’s ever mentioned since I’ve been doing his check-ups.” She tilted her head. “I also got the impression that you were important to him.”
Colin’s chest tightened. “Once, a long time ago.” He gazed at Ray’s bedroom door. “How is he? Or are you not allowed to divulge that information?”
Kelly’s gaze flickered in the same direction briefly. “I cannae comment on that. But what I can tell you is that the next time you pay him a visit, it probably won’t be here.” She pressed her lips together.
There was a lump in Colin’s throat that made it difficult to swallow. He took a deep breath. “Palliative care.” Kelly didn’t respond, but that told him everything he needed to know. His eyelids grew hot and his vision blurred a little. Colin rubbed his eyes. “How long before he has to consider that?”
“We’re already trying to find a place for him.”
Another thought struck him. “Does… does he know that?”
She gave a slow nod. “It might be a few weeks, or a couple of months before space becomes available. But he cannae carry on here. Not now.” Another glance toward his bedroom door. “To be honest, if his condition worsens, hospitalization is our next option.”
The sound of coughing erupted from behind the closed door, and Kelly didn’t waste time. Colin made himself useful and finished making the drinks, his thoughts on Ray. Clearly his condition had deteriorated a lot since the beginning of April. Kelly was right: living on the fifth floor of an apartment building was out of the question.
She appeared at the door. “He wants tae see ya.” She smiled at the sight of the tea. “Aw, you nice man.”
Colin handed her the mug and then entered the bedroom. Ray lay in bed, his head propped up on a mound of pillows, an air mask in place, connected to the oxygen tank. His eyes focused on Colin and he wagged a finger in the air.
Colin sat on the edge of the bed beside him. “And what’s that for?” he asked quietly, struggling not to reveal his emotions. Ray had lost more weight, and there were dark circles around his eyes.
Ray pulled the mask away a little. “You… didn’t tell… me you… were coming. Sneaky.” The breath wheezed out of him.
Colin took his hand. “Didn’t you know? Sneaky is my middle name. And besides, you’d have only said no.” He cocked his head toward the door. “Kelly seems a good sort.”
Ray nodded. “She’s a… little treasure. Comes here… three times a day… now.” He put the mask back in place.
More confirmation, as if it were needed, of the state of Ray’s health. Colin rubbed his thumb over the back of Ray’s hand, and he could see instantly that the motion soothed him.
“Colin?” He glanced toward the door. Kelly held out his mug. “Thought you might want this.” She brought it over to him.
“Thanks. Are you here for much longer?”
“Until I’ve finished ma tea. I’m just writing up ma notes for his doctor. I’ll talk to you before I go.” She smiled and left them alone.
Ray was breathing more easily, and as Colin watched, he drifted off to sleep. He eased Ray’s hand from his, before getting up carefully to leave the room. Once outside, he joined Kelly on the couch.
She observed him for a moment, her hands wrapped around her mug. “When we first broached the subject of palliative care, the doctor told him it may be given at home, in a hospital if home care wasn’t possible, or in a hospice. He was adamant about not wanting to go into hospital. He was asked at the time if there was anyone else who could be part of that discussion. He said there was no one.”
Suddenly Colin felt very tired. “I asked him a few weeks back if there was anyone. I got the same answer.”
“Where do you live?”
“London.” Which right then seemed a million miles away.
“Ah, I see.” Kelly took a drink from her mug. “Not exactly next door, is it?”
“Not really, no.” He glanced at Ray’s bedroom door. “He looks worse than the last time I was here.”
She nodded. “He’s relying more and more on the oxygen, and now there are other factors to consider. The pain is increasing.” She bit her lip. “I’m not supposed to be talking about him, but you’re the only visitor he’s had, and you obviously wouldnae be here if you didnae care about him. Palliative care won’t treat the lung cancer, but it can help to reduce symptoms like the pain, the fatigue, and of course the emotional issues.” Kelly smiled. “He seemed happy to see you. I
gather he had no idea? The look on his face when I told him you’d arrived… ” She drained her mug and glanced at the watch attached to her uniform. “I need to go. Do you want to give me your details? If we need to… get in touch with you, for any reason. It would help to have a point of contact.”
Colin nodded. That much he could do. He gave her his number, and Kelly scribbled it in her notepad. He finished his coffee while she put her things together. When she was ready, Colin walked her to the door.
“You said it might be weeks before space becomes available in a hospice?”
Kelly nodded. “Do you want us to let you know when we find something?”
“Please.” Finding Ray in such a poor state had taken the wind right out of him, but Colin was finding his breath again. He let her out and then went back into the kitchen to wash his mug. He quietly opened Ray’s door, so as not to disturb him, but Ray was fast asleep.
Colin sat on the couch and got out his phone. “Hi there,” he said in a low voice when the call connected.
“Col? You all right?”
The sound of Ed’s voice, full of concern and so vital, brought a wave of sorrow that rolled over him, leaving him feeling exhausted. “Oh, God, Ed.”
There was a brief silence. “I take it Ray hadn’t told you the ’alf of it.”
Colin filled him in, relating what Kelly had told him. His heart ached when he spoke of how Ray looked. Ed listened in silence.
When Ed didn’t speak for a few seconds, Colin cleared his throat. “You still there?”
“Who says he ’as to look for an ’ospice in Edinburgh? Those places are everywhere, right?”
“Er, yes.” Colin wasn’t sure where Ed was going with this.
“An’ there are bound to be ’ospices in London, right? Prob’ly more than there are up there.”
“Ed? What are you saying?”
Another pause. “I’m sayin’ don’t leave ’im on ’is own. No one deserves to be alone when they’re like that. Bring him ’ome.”
Colin’s heartbeat raced. “Okay, try that again, slowly.”
Ed sighed. “I think you should pack a suitcase with essential stuff, an’ then call round a few rental car agencies an’ ’ire a car. Drive back to London, an’ bring Ray with ya.”
There was a heavy feeling in his stomach. “And do what, exactly?”
“Ray can stay with us, while we find ’im an ’ospice. I’ll make up the guest room for ’im, an’ then I’ll start lookin’. I might ask Blake. That man ’as so many contacts, it wouldn’t surprise me if he knows of a place or two.”
Colin closed his eyes and thanked God for the day he’d met the wonderful man on the other end of his phone. “And you say I’ve got a big heart?”
Ed huffed. “I just ’ide mine better.”
“One thing I don’t get. Why drive back? Surely it’s faster to fly.”
“Nah. Not if he’s ’avin breathin’ difficulties. He wouldn’t cope with the cabin pressure. No, this way is better. You can take it slow.” Colin heard the clatter of keys. “It’s a seven to eight hour journey with no stops, but you can’t do that. Start as early as you can tomorrow morning. Take all day if you ’ave to. Put Ray in the back with pillows, make ’im as comfortable as you can. An’ send me regular updates so I know where you are.” Colin’s phone pinged. “That’s me. I’ve just sent you the route.”
“I love you.” They were the only words that could fully convey what Colin was feeling.
“Love you too. I’ll get the room ready, then I’ll do some shoppin’. An’ if I ’ave time, I’ll go see Blake. Might as well get the ball rollin’, eh?”
“Bless you.”
Ed chuckled. “I’m already blessed, thank you very much. I’ve got you, remember? Now, ’ave you eaten yet?”
“No, not yet. The nurse has only just left.”
“Right. Then order a takeaway and get yerself fed. While you’re waitin’ for the food to arrive, ’ave a look around for what you need to pack. Just take what Ray needs. We can deal with what to do with the flat another day.”
“And tell Ray what’s happening. You forgot that part. You know he’s going to disagree.”
Ed snorted. “Like he’s in any position to do that. We’re thinkin’ of what’s best for ’im, and that does not include stayin’ in a lonely flat with no visitors while he waits to find a place to die in. Sorry, but no fuckin’ way.”
“I might not use those exact words when I talk to him.” Colin shook his head. “You’re amazing.”
“You can tell me that again tomorrow night when you’re ’ere in me arms where you belong.”
“Are you sure you know what you’re letting us in for?” Colin tried a last-ditch effort to be practical.
“We’re not talkin’ long, are we?”
Colin had no idea. “That depends on how quickly a place becomes available.”
“We’ll manage, Col. If we can put up with all my family for three days at Christmas, we can survive Ray stayin’ with us.” He laughed. “He’ll be a bloody sight quieter than them, that’s for sure.”
Colin coughed. “But the same rules will apply.” He waited for the penny to drop.
“Oh. Oh yeah.” Ed sighed. “That does it. I’m buying a gag.”
Colin laughed so hard, he thought he’d rupture something.
Chapter Nineteen
Blake stood in the doorway to the lounge, his heart swelling with love at the sight that met his eyes. Will and Nathan were on the floor, Nathan on the brightly coloured quilted blanket that Lizzie had given him. Will was holding up a toy that didn’t appear to be anything but a collection of coloured hoops, all linked together, and Nathan lay on his back, stretching up to try and grab it. His little legs were in the air too.
“Is he trying to grab it with his fingers or his toes?” Blake asked, coming into the room.
Will laughed. “You’re just in time. I was about to call you.”
Blake glanced around the room. “Where’s Sophie?”
“In her room. She said she had a surprise for us, and she’s working on it.” Will grinned. “I was told most definitely to stay out of her room.”
Blake laughed and joined Will and Nathan on the floor. “So why were you going to call me?”
Will leaned over and kissed Nathan’s belly, and Blake loved how Nathan’s face lit up in a smile. “Because we have a surprise for Papa, don’t we, beautiful?” Carefully he rolled Nathan onto his tummy, his arm tucked under him, and then grabbed hold of his teddy bear, placing it a short distance from him. Nathan made grabbing gestures as he tried to reach it.
Will rolled him onto his back, and then repeated the action. After three or four times, he placed Nathan on his back and moved the teddy out of his reach. “Ready to dazzle Papa?” He grabbed the teddy bear and made it dance. “Come on, you know you want Big Ted. You can do it.”
Blake watched, mesmerized as Nathan stretched out one chubby little hand but couldn’t quite reach. “God, I remember doing this with Sophie. Once she got going, she moved so fast!”
Will chuckled. “I’ve got news for you. This little one would probably beat her. Oh my God, when he starts crawling we’d better watch out.”
Nathan had clearly grown tired of not being able to reach his favourite teddy. When using both hands yielded no results, he rolled, first onto his side, and then finally onto his tummy, his hands grabbing hold of Big Ted’s back paws.
Will picked him up and cuddled him. “Yay! You did it.” His gaze met Blake’s. “And one day he’ll hear me say that.”
Blake nodded, swallowing. Then he did a face palm. “Damn. I should have been videoing you while he did his first roll.”
Will smiled. “I don’t think that’s the only time he’s going to do it. You’ll have other opportunities.” He widened his smile for Nathan. “Yeah, who’s a clever boy?”
Blake knew exactly what he was doing. They’d read on a website how important it was to use facial expressions to show moods
.
“Papa! Daddy!”
Blake arched his eyebrows. “We’ve been summoned to Her Highness’s chamber.” Laughing, he left the room and headed up the stairs, Will behind him with Nathan in his arms. Sophie’s door was partly ajar. “Can we come in now?”
“Yes.”
When they entered, Sophie was sitting at her little table by the window, her face alight. In front of her was a pile of cards, and Blake could just make out the drawing of a car on the top one.
“Sit down,” Sophie instructed them.
“God, she takes after you,” Will whispered as he carefully lowered himself to the carpet, Nathan between his crossed legs, leaning back against him, his head supported.
Blake chuckled. “With that hair? She is so your daughter.” Sophie’s long brown hair was almost the exact shade of Will’s.
Will lowered his voice. “Not denying that, but there’s no doubting she’s your daughter too. It’s that bossy Davis streak.”
“Okay, you need to stop talking now.” Sophie fixed them both with a firm stare.
Suitably chastised, Blake straightened both his body and his face. “Okay, we’re all yours.”
Sophie leaned across the table, picked up the cards and began to spread them out in front of her. “At school last week, I told my teacher about Nathan being deaf.”
“You did?” Will asked in surprise. Then his eyes widened. “That explains the sympathetic looks I got when I picked Sophie up from school.”
“My teacher showed us something on the TV, about sign language.”
Blake shook his head, smiling. “That’s wonderful. What did you see?”
Sophie smiled too. “We have been learning all week how to say some words using sign language.”
Will peered at the cards. “Did you make these?”
She nodded proudly. “Every word we learned, I made a card for it so I could practice. Then when Nathan is bigger, I can teach him too.”
Blake stared at her, gobsmacked. Our little girl is amazing.
