by K. C. Wells
Rick chuckled. “Stop panicking. Everything’s fine. I’ve sent you an e-mail with the details, okay? Now go back to enjoying your weekend.”
Ed sighed. “I wish. Not that kind of a weekend.”
There was a pause. “Are you okay?”
“Not really, but it’s a long story. Go back to washin’ yer smalls.”
“See, this is why we all love you,” Rick said with a chuckle. “For your way with words. See you Monday.” He disconnected.
It was perfect timing. Colin came into view, and Ed hastily stuffed his phone back into his jeans pocket.
“Have you ordered yet?” Colin asked him.
“Nah, I was waitin’ for you.” He handed Colin the large laminated menu. “See what you feel like. An’ don’t tell me you’re not ’ungry, because you’re gonna eat anyway.”
Colin shook his head. “You meant what you said about taking care of me.”
“Always.” Ed forced a smile. “Now, what do ya fancy?” He studied Colin as his lover perused the menu. I would do anything to take this from you. All he could do for now was to be there for Colin.
* * * * * *
“That better?” Ed asked him as they held each other in the middle of an extremely comfortable king bed.
“Much.” Colin’s head still buzzed pleasantly from the wine with dinner, but he had an idea that was all part of Ed’s plan to make Colin feel boneless and relaxed. The shower had been the first clue. Colin had been rubbed and pummelled until all his tension had bled away, down the drain with the swirling water. The feel of Ed’s body curved around him, that wide, furry chest pressed against his back, those strong arms holding him, supporting him… Sheer bliss.
There was also the magic of Ed’s tongue, which had caused more than a few cries of pleasure to rebound around the bathroom.
Dinner had been delicious, but this was what he’d looked forward to all day—the moment when the world was outside their bedroom door, the bolt drawn, and it was just the two of them.
He closed his eyes, not surprised when Ray came instantly to mind. The second half of their visit had provided a glimpse of reality.
“You’re thinkin’ about ’im, aren’t ya?”
Colin sighed. There was little point in trying to hide it. Ed knew him too well, not that Colin would change that for the world. It comforted him that he lay in the arms of a man who truly knew him, understood him, balls to bones.
“I was thinking about when we got back after lunch. He didn’t know where he was. And for a minute, I got the impression he didn’t know me.”
Ed’s arms tightened around him. “Julie mentioned that, though. She said he can get confused.”
Colin sighed again. “You can say that again. He didn’t know if he was on this earth or Fullers.”
Ed arched his eyebrows. “What the ’ell does that mean?”
Colin snickered. “Oh dear. I forgot I’m talking to a Cockney sparrow. That’s something my grandmother used to say when I was little. She came from Yorkshire, I think. Anyway, Fuller’s Earth was a type of clay they used to spread over floors to absorb oil and grease in environments such as garages.”
“Ah.” Ed nodded. “So a wise men would know which earth he was standin’ on.” He peered at Colin. “You don’t talk like you come from up North. I mean, I knew you did, but there’s no trace of it in your accent.”
He laughed. “Thank you. That would please my mother immensely. She put me through grammar school for precisely that purpose.”
Ed stroked up and down his arm, a languid, sleep-inducing motion that lulled him into a warm state of contentment. “Do you know ’ow often we’ve talked about your family in the last four years?”
Colin snorted. “I’m going to go with never.” Ed had asked the usual new couple questions when they’d first got together, but Colin hadn’t given much away. Eventually Ed had gotten the message: don’t ask about Colin’s family.
When Ed fell silent, Colin realized that he couldn’t keep him in the dark for ever. It wasn’t fair, not if they planned to marry. Because wedding implied family.
“There’s not much to tell. Just the usual story of parents who weren’t happy with their son’s life choices. Let’s leave it at that.” He didn’t want to think about them. Such thoughts always left a sour taste in his mouth.
Another moment of silence. “Do they know you’re engaged? I feel stupid askin’ ya, to be honest, because I feel it’s somethin’ I should know about the man I share me life with.”
Colin heard the hint of rebuke, and his stomach clenched. Ed had a point.
He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right, of course. I should have told you all of this a long time ago. After all, I know everything about your family.”
It was Ed’s turn to snort. “Only because I’m like an open book. I don’t hide anythin’. I can talk about the ins and outs of a cat’s arse.”
In spite of his heavy heart. Colin had to chuckle. “And you say I come out with funny phrases?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
Colin huffed. “I wrote them a letter, telling them all about it. I didn’t want them to find out somehow and use it as an excuse for more unpleasantness.”
“What did they say?”
Colin shifted until he was on top of Ed, gazing down at him. “I wouldn’t know, because they never replied. Now can we change the subject?” He brought his lips to Ed’s in a lingering kiss.
Ed reached up to stroke his cheek. “Any particular topic you’d like?”
Colin leaned into his touch. “I don’t want to talk about Ray, because right now, it feels too… raw. I just want all the thoughts in my head to shut the fuck up for one night.”
Ed nodded. “I can ’elp with that.” He wrapped his arms around Colin’s body and gently rolled them both until Colin lay beneath him.
Colin let out his breath in a long exhale. “Yes. Let’s make love.”
Then Ed’s lips were on his once more, and that was just perfect.
Chapter Twenty-Four
August 6th
“Blimey, this looks different!” Ed stared at the garden, beaming. “’Ow did you find time to write an’ do all this?” He gazed around them at the patio, done in warm terracotta tiles that seemed to soak up the sun. The table and six chairs were perfect for long summer days.
Blake had to admit, the garden did look good. The lawn was smooth, and the air was permeated with subtle perfumes from the flowers that filled the beds around it. From one corner came the musical trickle of water, and in various spots dotted here and there were places to sit and look and contemplate.
He’d been doing a lot of contemplating recently.
Will snorted. “There’s this wonderful new invention. It’s called the Internet. And when you type ‘gardeners near me’, all these names start appearing on the screen.”
Blake whacked him on the arm. “You’re supposed to lie and say it was all our hard work. Have you learned nothing from me all these years?” He grinned.
“That is really cute,” Angelo said, pointing to the lawn where Nathan was sitting on a blanket under a dark green canopy stretched out between four poles. Rick was under there with him, not to mention a large assortment of Nathan’s toys. Judging by the laughter that filtered across the grass, Rick was busy entertaining Nathan.
“Have you noticed?” Will said proudly. “He’s sitting up on his own.”
Blake chuckled. “I hate to break it to you, but if you haven’t got kids, a baby sitting upright for the first time is not the thrill you think it might be.” Angelo snickered. Blake scanned the garden for Sophie, and caught sight of her at the far end, walking with Colin while she watered the flowers with her own little green watering can, decorated with ladybirds. She appeared to be doing all the talking.
“Is Colin all right?” He’d seemed quiet when he and Ed had arrived.
Ed followed his gaze to where Colin stood. “Not really.” His face tightened.
&nbs
p; Will poured a glass of punch and handed it to him. “Is everything okay with you two?”
Ed didn’t reply straight away, but took a sip of his drink. “This is nice.” He relaxed into his chair. “To be honest, when you first called to ask us round for lunch, I think Col was gonna refuse. I told ’im this was just what he needed. A couple of hours with friends, when he doesn’t ’ave to think about… ” He sighed heavily. “I know what’s goin’ on. When he’s at work, his mind is occupied, but when he gets ’ome, it’s another matter.” He regarded the three of them. “We’re expectin’ a call any day now, tellin’ us that either Ray’s not got long left, or that he’s already passed on. I think once that ’appens, things will get back to normal.” His gaze flickered back to Colin. “He can put it behind ’im.”
“Is the hospice nice?” Will stilled. “That doesn’t sound right, but you know what I mean.”
Ed nodded. “They seem like a nice bunch of people, an’ it’s good that Ray’s not on ’is own anymore.” He cleared his throat and then took another drink. “Anyway, enough maudlin talk.” He peered at Angelo. “Less than two weeks to go, mate. You ready to put on the ol’ ball an’ chain?” He winked.
Angelo laughed. “Don’t let Rick hear you say that.”
“Say what?” Rick was walking toward the table, Nathan in his arms. He held him out gingerly to Will. “I think you need to deal with this young man,” he said, wrinkling his nose.
Will cackled. Nathan held out his arms to Will, who took him, smiling widely. “Aw. Don’t you want to change his nappy?”
Rick’s eyes opened wide. “No, I bloody don’t.” He shuddered. “Ugh. Baby poo. That’s stuff’s part toxic waste, part Velcro—it sticks to everything.”
Angelo and Blake guffawed.
“I’ll be right back,” Will said as he walked toward the French doors with Nathan in his arms.
“Have you two discussed kids? Because it doesn’t sound to me like Rick is all that keen.” Blake grinned.
Rick’s eyes met Angelo’s, who shrugged. “Go ahead.”
Rick joined them at the table and helped himself to punch. “As it happens, we have talked about this. We’d like to adopt. And we don’t mind if it’s a baby or a little kid. As long as we can give them a happy home, that’s all we want.”
Blake nodded. “I think that’s wonderful. Heaven knows there are enough children in the UK who need a family. Any kid who gets you two will be very lucky.”
“Papa!” Sophie came running across the garden, waving her watering can in the air, Colin walking behind her at a more sedate pace. “Me and Uncle Colin found a snake!”
Colin smiled. “Not exactly. It’s a slow worm.” He held out his hands, bending over so that Sophie could see it again. “I think this one is a girl, Sophie. See that dark stripe down its back?” He held it gently, letting it undulate over his fingers. “She’ll be getting ready to sleep for the winter soon. Isn’t she pretty?”
“Can I touch her?” Sophie pleaded.
“Okay, but stroke her gently with one finger.” Sophie did as instructed, her gaze locked on the smooth-skinned, golden-grey lizard. She turned to Blake with a wide-eyed stare. “She’s not slimy at all, Papa.”
Colin laughed. “Lizards aren’t slimy. Neither are snakes.” He lifted his chin to regard Blake. “She was sunning herself on that pile of logs over in the far corner. I take it you put them there deliberately, as part of the habitat?”
Blake nodded. “How come you know so much about slow worms?”
Colin gave him a sad smile. “Someone I know was really into nature and making his garden a haven for all kinds of wildlife.”
Blake hazarded a guess. “Ray?”
Colin blinked. “Yes. He used to have frogs that spawned in his pond, and hedgehogs that lived in this crate he made into a house for them.” He smiled. “I remember one night, we got back late to his house, and there was this strange snuffling noise from the back garden. There were two hedgehogs. It was the weirdest thing. The female was standing still, and the male was circling her, over and over again. It was obviously a mating ritual.”
“What’s… mating?” Sophie gazed up at Colin, her eyebrows scrunched up.
“It’s what happens when animals want to have babies,” Blake explained. “The boy hedgehog was trying to get the girl hedgehog to notice him. Then if she likes him, they’ll make babies.”
Blake steeled himself for the questions he felt sure would come, but Sophie merely nodded and went back to stroking the slow worm. Colin’s gaze met his, and they both bit back smiles.
“I think I’ll go and put the slow worm back where he belongs,” Colin said, straightening.
Sophie addressed his hand. “Bye! Don’t get eaten!” The others laughed, and Colin left them, the slow worm cupped gently in his hands. Sophie watched him go, and then gazed at them. “Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s changing Nathan.” Blake peered closely at her face. “And you, young lady, have caught the sun. Where’s your cap?” Her cheeks and forehead were pink.
“I left it in my room.”
“Then go get it. And when you come back, I’ll put on more sun cream.”
“Yes, Papa.” Sophie ran into the house, narrowly avoiding tripping over the step.
Blake shook his head. “One of these days, she’ll catch her foot and fall.”
“Then she falls,” Ed said practically. “You can’t wrap ’er up in cotton wool, Blake. Kids learn by makin’ mistakes. Blimey, the number of falls I ’ad as a kid is nobody’s business. An’ once she does trip over ’er own feet, she’ll know next time to be more careful. Right?”
“You’re right,” Blake agreed. It didn’t mean he was happy about it. If he had his way, Sophie would never know what it meant to feel pain.
“An’ that was a close one,” Ed added with a grin. “I was dyin’ for ’er to ask if you an’ Will mated so you could ’ave ’er an’ Nathan.” He winked. “I can just picture you an’ Will, tryin’ to explain the birds an’ the bees.”
Angelo and Rick laughed, but Blake scowled. “I’d like her to stay a little girl for as long as possible. Some of the things she hears other kids say at nursery school fill me with horror.” He sighed. “Don’t get me wrong. If she asks questions, we always try to answer them as honestly as possible. I mean, for God’s sake, she already knows what a penis is!”
“You were great just now,” Rick said earnestly. “She was curious, and you satisfied her curiosity. If she’d wanted to know more, she’d have asked. And from what you’ve already told us, it’s obvious you’ve treated the subject like it’s a normal, everyday topic.” He paused. “Has she asked yet why she has two dads, and not a mum and dad like her school friends?”
“No, but then again, she thinks it’s normal. There are at least four children in her class that have same sex parents.” Blake smiled. “Thankfully, times are changing.”
Will came through the French doors, pushing Nathan’s buggy, Sophie at his side. “I think he’s ready for a nap. I was going to put him in the shade while we have lunch. He’s already had some formula.”
“I gave Nathan his bottle,” Sophie announced, beaming.
“That’s because you’re a wonderful big sister,” Blake said, opening his arms wide in invitation. Sophie ran into them and he lifted her up onto his knee. He kissed the top of her cap. “Good girl. Daddy and I would be unhappy if you got sunburn.”
“Here you go.” Will passed over the bottle of children’s sunscreen, before moving the pushchair against the wall, where it would be in plain sight.
Blake squirted cream into his palm and applied it to Sophie’s face while she screwed her eyes tight shut, lips firmly pressed together. He made sure the cream went on her neck and every other place where her skin was exposed to the sun. Then she slid off his knee and went over to Angelo, grabbing his hand. “Come on, Uncle Angelo. I want to show you the lion.”
Laughing, Angelo allowed himself to be dragged toward the rear o
f the garden. “I hope it’s not going to eat me,” he said over his shoulder to Rick, grinning.
“There’s a lion?” Ed snorted. “I dunno, snakes, lions… this place is turnin’ into a bloomin’ menagerie.”
“The feline in question is a stone lion’s head with water trickling from its mouth,” Blake told him. He glanced to where Colin walked toward them, his previous good humour vanished as he stared out over the garden. Ed followed Blake’s gaze and held out his hand to take Colin’s. “You okay, Col?”
Colin clasped his hand briefly and then released it. He sat in the empty chair next to Ed. “I’m sorry. It just feels so… surreal. I’m sitting here, surrounded by friends, chatting about inconsequential things like slow worms and wildlife, and all the while, Ray is…” He swallowed. “I’m just finding it difficult to act like everything is normal, when it really isn’t.”
Blake’s throat tightened. “Oh, believe me, I know exactly what you mean.” He gazed at Will who walked over and stood behind him, his hand squeezing Blake’s shoulder. “We both do. You get on with… stuff, the minutiae of daily life that keep your brain occupied, because it’s when you stop doing things that your mind defaults to other things. Not that they ever really go away. They’re always lurking in the background.”
“That’s why we’re grateful you all accepted the invitation,” Will added. “You have things going in on your own lives too.” He glanced at Rick. “Some pretty big things, actually. But having you here… We need our friends, now more than ever.”
“I suppose it must take some getting used to,” Colin mused. “The knowledge that Nathan is deaf.”
Blake covered Will’s hand with his. “It’s true that the first thing to cross your mind is ‘Oh my God, this is terrible.’ But then you start to see things differently. For us, it was a case of not thinking of this as a disability, but simply as this is Nathan’s reality. We’ll do what we can to help him succeed in life, hence the implants, sign language, whatever it takes.”
