I shift around, feeling my cock get excited underneath my jeans as I remember how she used to wrap those pouty lips around it. “You keep doing that sunshine, I might have to make you happy and bend you over this couch.”
Her nose wrinkles in confusion. She’s so damn adorable. “If I keep doing what?”
“Blowing that coffee cup.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not blowing this coffee cup. I’m blowing into it. What’s up with you and your turn-on to my reactions with food? Moaning when I take a bite of cake. Blowing on my coffee. I told you to see a doctor about it.”
“Your blowing is what’s turning me on. Stop doing it or do something about it.”
She ignores my comment, takes a slow sip, and swallows it down. “Will you be honest with me?”
“Always.”
“Have you …” She hesitates. “Have you hooked up with anyone since me?”
“I haven’t even touched anyone since you.” I level my eyes on her. “Have you been with anyone else?”
Please say no. If the word yes comes out of her lips, it’ll crush me. I know she’s not mine anymore, but I feel like there are parts of her she’s still letting me have. I reach down to wrap my hand around her ankle and start massaging her foot.
She stays quiet, her curious eyes meeting mine. “If you haven’t been with anyone … and I haven’t been with anyone …” I start to knead my knuckle into her heel. “It sounds like it’s been awhile for the both of us.”
My hand freezes, a smile dancing on my lips. “Sounds like a predicament with an easy fix.”
I lean in closer, but her hand smacking into my chest stops me. “Promise me one thing before we do this.” I raise a brow. “We keep this casual, okay?”
I nod. “We keep this casual.”
She moves, straddling my lap before I even finish my sentence, and circles her arms around my shoulders.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispers. “I’ve missed this.” She leans in and captures my lips with hers.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” I say into her mouth before slipping my tongue inside.
She tastes just as sweet as I remember.
My hand trails down her sides, settling on the curves of her hips, while she slowly starts to grind against my hard on. I push her dress up, dragging it over her head, and run my hands over the lace of her bra before removing it.
She sucks in a breath when I unravel her hair from the tie, watching the waves of color cascade across her chest, hitting right above her hard nipples. Her head drops back when I latch my lips around a pink bud and suck hard at the same time I start rubbing her over her panties.
The room grows hot as she tears my shirt off, throwing it to the ground, and I shiver when she runs her warm palms over my chest.
“Raise up for me,” I say. She whines in argument when I help her up and guide her towards the end of the couch. “Don’t worry. You won’t be whining long.”
“Good, now fuck me, Knox Rivers,” she rasps out. “I need you.”
“Not as much as I need you.”
I bend her over the arm of the couch, slap her ass, and she steps out of her panties after I drag them down her legs. She shivers, goosebumps traveling up her skin, when I slip my hand between her thighs and spread them apart. She’s drenched for me – dripping down my fingers.
Her back arches, and she starts to buck against my hand when I slide two fingers in, curling them into her heat, and hitting all of her favorite spots.
“Have you touched yourself thinking about me since you left?” I ask, my voice rough.
“Knox,” she moans out.
I pull my fingers out of her and play with her clit, waiting for an answer. “Answer me or no more.”
“Yes!” she gasps out. “I have – so many times. It’s always you.”
“Fuck yeah.” I shove my fingers back in, working her harder until her orgasm shatters through her.
Her panting and the noise of me unbuckling my pants are the only sounds in the room. My cock springs forth, and I stroke it a few times after pulling down my jeans and boxers. I nudge it between her legs – moving it back and forth along her folds, teasing her until she’s withering underneath me in need.
“You’re all I think about. I jack off to the memory of you every day,” I say. She gasps when I fill her up “Only you, sunshine.”
I push my chest into her back, moving my hand around to play with her tits, and pump in and out of her.
She intoxicates me – the most powerful drug I can take, the strongest drink I can consume.
There’s nothing casual about this.
And I’m going to prove that to her.
“You’re going to stay the weekend, right?” Libby asks when I wrap a towel around her after stepping out of the shower.
We decided to clean up after our casual sex with some shower sex.
“Why?” I ask. “Would you like me to?”
She focuses on getting dressed, not looking over at me. “I mean … I don’t have any plans this weekend, just some homework, so it would be completely fine.”
I grab her around the waist and pull her into my side. “You missed me, didn’t you?”
She squirms, trying to fight me off, as I tickle her side. “No! Stop!”
“You did.”
She pushes away from me, laughing. “Fine, yes, I did miss you.”
I drop my towel and grab my pants. “Thanks for the invite, sunshine, but I think I’ll be leaving now.”
Her jaw drops. “What?”
“Can I borrow the Jeep or do I need to call a car?” She stares at me, unblinking, and stutters her words. I bend down and kiss her forehead. “Of course I’m staying, I’ll stay as long as you let me.”
Libby slams the fridge shut and leans back against it. “If we go out in public, there’s no doubt we’ll be noticed and they’ll be drilling you on details about your house.”
“Then what are we going to do? Starve to death?” I question. “I’m going to die over here. We can order in or have George bring us something.” We’ve been hanging out all day, and my stomach is grumbling as it starts to get dark outside. Libby had been planning on going grocery shopping today, so we’re running low on food. Good thing California has delivery places out the ass. “We can do the whole snowed in kind of thing without the actual snow?”
She chuckles. “Sounds good to me.”
“Just don’t get sick of me and throw my ass out in the fake cold.”
“We were together every day for almost three months. I don’t think I could ever get tired of you.”
“I like hearing you say that. I thought you’d given up on me.”
Her eyes soften. “I didn’t give up on you.”
“Sure seemed like it. I mean, you said you couldn’t do a relationship with me anymore. If that’s not giving up, I don’t know what is.”
I’m giving this conversation a one-eighty – taking it from a small “what’s for dinner,” talk to a “what’s going on in our relationship,” one.
Her shoulders slouch. “You have to see where I’m coming from. I saw the things my father did on tour. I saw the women who threw themselves at him. Shit, I even saw it when I was on tour with you. I’ll spend all of my time worrying about you caving into their advances. I can’t stress about that and try to get my degree.”
I raise my voice, shoving my finger into my chest. “I’m not your father. I’m not Adam. I’m me, and you know me. I’m not that man. You saw me on tour. I can do commitment. How long were we together before we had sex? Was I fucking other women while I waited? No. I can go a few weeks without sex. It might be unfortunate, but it’s not the end of the world. Have you heard of masturbation?” I stop and chuckle. “Of course you have. You have your fair amount of vibrators.”
“So hysterical.” She rolls her eyes and pushes off the fridge. “I understand where you’re coming from. Feed me, and we can talk about this more, but you know I’m cranky on an
empty stomach.”
“Is there hope?” I have to ask or it’ll kill me.
“There’s most definitely hope.”
I stay the entire weekend with Libby. George did a grocery store run, so we cooked dinner together, found a new Netflix show to binge watch, and made love every night and morning.
I don’t want to leave when it’s time to go.
I want to stay in this imaginary world where we’re both normal people living a normal life.
I grab her hands in mine. “Tell me this goodbye is going to be better than the last one. Promise me I’ll see you again.”
She tightens her hands in mine. “I promise.”
48
Libby
“Do you want to hear a super awesome story?” Mia asks, strolling into my room and flopping down on my bed.
“Nope,” I answer.
Whatever it is, I doubt it’s going to be super awesome and more along the lines of some lecture about Knox. George picked him up early this morning to catch their jet. Knox said he’d text me when he landed, but I haven’t heard from him yet. The flight is somewhere along fourteen hours, so I’m not too worried.
Him staying this weekend pulled at my emotion strings, showing me how much I truly missed and care about him.
“So I walk out of my bedroom the other morning, and this gorgeous man is sitting in the kitchen. Who is this good-looking man you ask?” Mia goes on in excitement.
“Nope, sure didn’t,” I grumble.
“It’s Knox Rivers, and he stayed with my roomie the entire weekend.”
I’ve been dreading having this conversation with her. She’s dialed down on the whole, “you made a mistake breaking up with Knox,” speech, but now I’m sure it’s going to be a daily thing again.
“He needed somewhere to stay. I wanted to help a friend out.”
She snorts. “You are so generous. You weren’t only helping him with a place to stay, either. You were also fucking him as a friendly gesture too?”
“Exactly.” I start to focus on my notes. Well, I act like I’m focusing on my notes.
“One minute you want him to stay away from you, the next you want him inside of you. Make up your mind before he starts making out with someone else.”
I shrug and keep my eyes down. “If he does, he does. I can’t stop that.”
I look up when she pushes my shoulder. “Uh, yeah you can, dumbass. You can date him.”
“I have to get to class.” I get up, grab my laptop to slide it into its case and then into my book bag, and throw it over my shoulder. “Like always, it was a pleasure chatting with you about Knox.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t as great as the pleasure he was giving you last night,” she yells to my back as I’m walking out. She laughs when I throw my hand up and flip her off.
I have to get my mind off Knox and back to my real life now.
Knox: The real estate agent Mia hooked me up with sent me some listings. I’ll be home next week. Want to check them out with me?
It’s been two and a half weeks since Knox left my condo, and it’s been hard staying in touch with our crazy schedules. He’s been busy with his shows, and I’ve been swamped with schoolwork and finals approaching.
Me: I’d love to.
“Who are you texting?” Mia asks. She arches a brow and pops a fry in her mouth while waiting for my answer.
I set my phone down on the table at our favorite lunch spot and sigh. “None of your business, mom.”
She scrapes her hands together and gives me a serious look. “Stop fucking with his head, Libby. Don’t be one of those bitches that drags guys on with no intention of giving them anything.”
“You don’t even know who I’m talking to. It could be my dad.”
“Unless your dad illegally had a cell phone smuggled through someone’s asshole into his prison cell, I know that’s a lie.”
“He needs a friend to look at houses with. His mom and him still aren’t on speaking terms, and his brother is in Texas. I figure it’s the least I can do for everything he’s done for me.”
“No, what that man needs is for you to get your head out of your ass and be his girlfriend.”
“My head isn’t in my ass. It’s in my finals and how I have to pass them.”
“I wasn’t aware you couldn’t have a boyfriend and pass a test. You can multi-task. I’ve seen you straighten your hair and paint your fingernails at the same time. And did you know that happy people perform better on tests?”
“Drop the whole Knox thing, okay? I’ll talk to him when he gets in town. I promise.”
“Holy mother of all hotness and romanticness,” Mia screams, barging into my room. She jumps up and down in excitement, squealing like a child.
“What in the world are you yelling about over there, psycho?” I ask.
“You have to see this … or listen to this, to be more precise.”
“Okay?” I draw out.
She grabs her phone, hits a button on her screen, and starts hitting the volume button until I assume it’s on high.
Knox’s voice flows from the speaker, and Mia starts dancing in place.
“She’s afraid to open up,
Hiding behind a broken mask, afraid to be upfront,
But I can see through her,
I can see the sunshine through the rain,
With one touch she lets me have my way,
Giving me only a sliver of her until it turns dawn,
I call this our secret of the day,
Every piece of her I uncover takes my breath away,
Open up, sunshine; let those wings drift you my way,
As we uncover our secret of the day …”
A buzz shoots through me, kind of like when I drink too many energy drinks, but it’s a Knox high. I’m drunk on him, transfixed with his every word as I keep listening to the song that I know is about me.
“Sunshine?” Mia says. “This song is so about you.”
I wave off her comment. “You don’t know that.”
“He’s a smart dude. I’ll give him that. He’s winning you back little by little, easing you back into his life.”
Does he have ulterior motives? “We’ll see.”
She replays the song and starts moving her hips to the beat. A few seconds later, we’re both singing along to the words.
She holds her arms out. “Come on! Let’s dance to the song you were the muse for!”
We dance until the song ends, and Mia insists I text Knox.
Me: New song?
She’s playing the song again when my phone beeps with a reply.
Knox: You listen to it yet?
Me: Yep! Mia has it on repeat and is throwing a dance party in my bedroom.
Knox: Tell me you joined her?
Me: Sure did. It’s beautiful.
Knox: I had the best inspiration.
Me: I’m expecting a royalty check lol.
Knox: I promise to give you more than that.
“You’re blushing. Blushing is a good sign,” Mia says, pulling me out of my conversation.
“I’m overheated from dancing.”
“Whatever.”
She hits a button on her phone, and we break out in dance again.
49
Knox
“The tour is over. How do you feel?” Thomas asks.
I arrived back in the city last night after my final stop of the tour in Latin America ended. Thomas picked me up and is letting me stay in his guesthouse until I find a new place here. I haven’t been back to the house that Nate trashed, but according to my new assistant, Anna, all of my belongings have been cleared out, and someone has already put an offer in on it.
“Exhausted. Eighty performances in six months in I don’t know how many countries will drain you.”
“People might give you shit, but you’re a hard worker. The tour is getting fantastic reviews. Now we need to get you working on a new album. Secret of the Day is blowing up the charts. Women are loving the
romantic side of you, and Anna says you’ve been writing a lot on the road.”
“I already have studio time scheduled. But first things first, I have to find a place to live.”
“You can stay here for as long as you’d like.”
“I appreciate it. I’m meeting with my realtor in about an hour, so hopefully she has some good shit lined up for me.”
“You want me to come along?”
“I’m picking up Libby, and she’s coming with me.”
His brows bump together. “Libby?” I nod. “Interesting.”
“Why is that interesting?”
“According to her father, she’s seeing a new man and he’s about to propose.”
My back straightens, and I feel all of the color draining from my face. “What?”
Thomas laughs and pats me on the back. “I’m fucking with you. I like you two together. She keeps you grounded, so make things right with her now that you’re home for awhile.”
“Trust me, I’m trying.”
“Good boy.”
Me: I’m five minutes out. You ready?
Libby: Yep! I’ll be outside waiting.
She walks to my car and opens the passenger door as soon as I pull up.
“Hey stranger,” I greet, giving her a smile.
“Hey,” she says. She’s acting shy … like the last time I saw her I wasn’t eating her pussy. She folds her hands in her lap. “So what are we going to be looking at today?”
“The realtor sent me pictures of a few homes, but there’s one I think might be the winner. I’m having her show us it first and then we’ll go from there.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I put the car in reverse, back out of the drive, and head through the gates. “How did your finals go?” I ask, turning out of her neighborhood. “You didn’t fail, did you?”
She laughs. “No, thank God. I did pretty well, and I took some extra credits this semester so I won’t have to take on such a heavy course load this coming semester.”
“Good, you’ll have more time to hang out with me.”
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