by Melanie Ting
Hannah eyed me with a mix of suspicion and excitement. She loved being the expert, but she must have been wondering if this was a bribe. “Will I get paid?”
“Paid? Well, I thought you could give me pointers. You have a website, don’t you?”
“I have a Tumblr page. It’s probably not what you need.” She closed her laptop. “I guess you don’t want to spend money, right?”
“Right. It’s something that the gallery lady suggested that I have, but I’m not expecting to make money or anything.”
“I’ll check into your options,” Hannah answered. Then she made a little note in her glittery blue planner. Hannah was more organized than me. She stretched out on the bed, rubbed Minx’s fat belly, and then the purring began.
Time to broach the big issue. I cleared my throat. “I’m really sorry about the way that whole dating thing went down. I wanted to tell you properly, but I didn’t feel like there was any rush.”
“It’s no big deal. But it is a double standard.” She rolled onto her back. Her eyebrows were knotted in a frown. “If I went out with someone and didn’t tell you, you’d have a fit.”
“That’s completely different. I’m your mother.”
“It’s not different. If you get to have a private life, I should too.”
I frowned. Hannah liked to argue, but she knew that these two things were not parallel. “A young girl needs guidance because the things she does have consequences for the rest of her life. I’m responsible for you.”
“I’m mature enough to know what’s right or wrong.”
“I know you’re mature, and that’s a very good thing. But adolescents go through a lot of hormonal changes, so that affects their judgment. I’m not saying that you’re not going to make good decisions, only that it’s good to have a back-up system—that’s me.”
“Look who’s talking about hormones,” she muttered.
“What does that mean?”
“You and Dad are the worst.”
Ouch. Her comment hit a nerve because I had been feeling more like a hormonal teenager than myself lately. Empathy won out over anger though. Poor Hannah had to see both her parents going out with new people. Should I offer not to date? But giving her control over my love life wasn’t the right thing to do either.
There was a long silence. I put my hand on her shoulder, and I could feel the tension. Finally, she mumbled something about “her turn.”
“What’s that, sweetheart?”
“It’s supposed to be me! I’m supposed to be the one going out and instead I have to deal with you guys acting like teenagers.” She burst into tears.
“Oh, honey.” I rubbed her back as she buried her face into a pillow and sobbed.
“It must be hard for you to have to deal with all this,” I said.
She nodded with only the back of her head visible. But I was pretty sure that this wasn’t about me dating.
“Is there anything else bothering you?”
She raised her head and I pulled her up against me in a fierce hug. She hiccupped. “I’m a freak.”
“You’re not.”
“I am. You don’t know. All my friends at school are so into guys. They’re always talking about which guys are hot. I pretend I like someone, but it’s all fake. I’m a total phony.”
I squeezed her even tighter. I felt upset and helpless at the same time. “It’s completely natural not to be interested in boys yet. You’re only twelve.”
“But so are my friends,” she wailed. “I’m a freak and there’s something wrong with me.”
“You’re normal.”
“What would you know? You used to be one of the popular girls.” She said that as if it were a crime.
“Again, don’t compare yourself to anyone. You don’t know how they feel in private. Sure, I had fun in high school, but I went through a lot of tough times too. Everyone does. Everyone feels insecure.”
Hannah groaned. “Lindsay and Jenna don’t. Their lives are perfect.”
“You don’t know that.” I stroked her hair. “Sweetie, everyone develops at different ages. There will be years and years for you to like guys. Be interested in whatever you want.”
We sat there for a long time with the only sound an occasional sniff from Hannah. Then Minx stretched out and fell off the bed, which started both of us giggling.
Maybe it would be better for her not to hang out so much with Lindsay and Jenna. I’d noticed they’d been dressing and wearing makeup like they were a lot older. But that would be up to her.
Thanks to Wendy breaking the news, it was time for the kids to meet Leo. The hockey season was over, so his work schedule was more flexible and we could make plans.
I was a little stressed about it, but Leo calmed me down. “Why don’t we do something active and fun?”
“Like what? Too bad it’s May and there’s no more skating on Grouse Mountain.”
“We could go biking,” he suggested.
“Sure. Or how about mini-golf? Tristan loves mini-golf. And then we’ll go out for dessert after.”
Of course, Leo turned out to be a fabulous mini-golfer, which impressed both Tristan and me. Tristan was excited to meet a real, professional hockey coach and peppered Leo with questions.
“Do you ever get to meet the Millionaires players?”
“Well, sure. Next season, players will be going up and down between the Vice and the Millionaires all the time.”
“Wow, so you’ll be coaching NHL players?”
Leo laughed. “I’ve coached a few guys who have made it to the NHL. The job of the AHL is to prepare guys for the show.”
“Wow, cool. Maybe you can give me some tips too.”
“Sure. Also, you know Chris Luczak, right?”
“Of course! He’s the best captain the Millionaires ever had.”
“Well, he’s my boss,” Leo said.
“Your boss! You see him every day? Does he yell at you?” Tristan’s idea of a hockey boss seemed to be tied up with this year’s hockey coach.
Leo laughed. “Well, not so far.”
“Wow. That’s so cool.”
“Your mother’s met him too. We went out to dinner together.”
Tristan gave me a look of utter shock and betrayal. It was like I melted down his Legos, sawed his skateboard in half, and forced him to eat a vegan dinner—all at once.
“You met Lucky Luczak and didn’t even tell me?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what a big deal he was.” Also, that was when I wasn’t even talking about Leo, so explaining the whole evening was impossible. All the more reason to tell your kids right away, I guess.
“Mom.” Tristan shook his head.
“It’s your shot, Mom,” Hannah said in an aggrieved voice. She was clearly reserving her judgment about Leo. That was fine with me. All I wanted was for the kids to get to know him a little. It was bound to be complicated for Hannah, who was thoughtful and sensitive.
But when we went for ice cream afterwards, I was pleased to see Leo making an effort to talk to Hannah. He asked her about music and then listened attentively to her answers. She always complained about not getting enough respect around our house, so she appreciated the audience.
Leo seemed like the perfect man. I had to keep reminding myself not to get too involved. He had warned me. But still, if we continued to go out for a year, how could we not get more attached?
“I like him, Mom,” Tristan said as we drove home. “Imagine getting paid to coach hockey. He’s in good shape too. Did he ever play in the NHL?”
“He played professional hockey in Europe. But not in the NHL.” I looked across at Hannah. “What do you think?”
She shrugged. “Better than Margaret.”
There was a silence and then she added, “You’re definitely in a better mood since you started seeing him. You’re not on our backs all the time. So that’s worth something.”
Faint praise, but I’d take it.
21
Sold
Jackie
“Jackie,” Carole Levine called me. “I have an offer to present to you. What’s the drill? Do we need to get Brent there as well?” After a big tussle, Carole had won out over Brent’s agent. I liked her right away. Her price was $50,000 higher, and she had a better marketing package. His agent had been smarmy and sexist; he kept addressing his answers to Brent even when I asked the questions.
“Yeah, we should. He’s going to have a zillion questions I’ll never think of.” I checked the calendar. “Look, it’s Wednesday. He’ll be coming by to pick up the kids for his night. I’ll try to get him here earlier, and we can do everything at once.”
She agreed, and then I called Brent.
“An offer already? I hope it’s not some low-ball deal,” he grumbled.
“What’s the problem? You’re not being inconvenienced in any way at all. You were coming here anyway.”
“I told you we should have used Andrew as our realtor. Then I’d know that everything was being done right.”
“Brent! We went through this before—Carole had a higher listing price. You’re the one who’s all about not leaving money on the table. She said that the open houses went great, there were tons of people here, and someone was very interested. What more do you want? We haven’t even heard the offer yet.”
There was a moment of silence. I never talked back to Brent.
Sharon’s words were echoing in my head. I couldn’t believe all the crap you took from Brent. For so long, I never questioned whether he was right or wrong. After he left, I had too many reasons to be nice to him: hoping he’d come back, negotiating our settlement, for the sake of the kids. But now everything was settled, and he was beginning to get on my nerves. We weren’t married anymore yet he still treated me the same way—as if I was too dumb to understand things.
“Okay, I’ll come over by 4:30,” he said. Maybe I needed to take a firmer stand with Brent. It was tough because we fell into our old roles whenever we spoke. He was the opinionated one, and I was the peacemaker.
The kids came home, had a snack, and went straight to their rooms to do their homework. That was the drill on Dad Night.
Carole appeared early in her bright red suit with matching lipstick. She reminded me of a hummingbird, always in motion. She took the coffee I offered and sat down in the living room.
“Your home is so gorgeous. Always open house ready—you’re a realtor’s dream.”
“Oh, believe me, there’s a lot of cleaning up involved beforehand. And the kids think I’ve turned into a nagging machine. We’ll all get to exhale once the place has sold.”
She nodded vigorously. “Maybe that will be soon.”
There was a rap on the door, and Brent walked right in. We moved into the dining room.
“I have great news. I have an offer on the house, and it’s a good one.” Carole took papers out of her briefcase. “A family from Calgary fell in love with your home. Their offer is at our asking price, but more than that—” She paused dramatically. “Since they have two children, they really want to move in during the summer and get settled. I know your preference is to close at the end of the summer, but they’ve offered a $20,000 bonus if you’re willing to move at the end of June.”
My brain tried to wrap around this. The fact that we got our asking price was great and validated my decision to go with Carole. But it was already May, and there was no way that I could pack up the house and find a new place in that time.
Brent nodded. “That sounds like a great deal. Moving out early shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Brent! I can’t do that. There are too many things to do in that time. And we haven’t got a new place to move to yet.”
“It’s a big whack of cash, Jackie. We could pay for professional movers out of that and still make money. I’m sure Carole here can help you find a new place.”
I shook my head. “There’s no way. The kids finish school in late June, and they have things on. And I signed them up for summer camps.”
“What’s the big deal? They can go to camp from wherever they live. I don’t think you understand the value of a dollar.”
“I think I do. If we had gone with your realtor, we’d have already lost fifty thousand by now.”
Carole cleared her throat. “Perhaps I can make a suggestion.”
We both looked over, and she was radiating calm. As a real estate agent for divorcing couples, she needed to be a part-time diplomat and psychologist. “What about the end of July, Jackie? Do you think you could be ready to move by then? We could suggest splitting the bonus in half then. And you might consider renting first, while you’re looking for a new home.”
“I need a little time to think about this,” I said. Brent continued talking about how easy it was all going to be, but I tuned him out. I was sad to be leaving my beloved home, but perhaps it would be better for our kids as well. They could get settled in a new place before school.
We signed the counter offer and left Carole in the dining room to make some phone calls.
“Do you want a drink or anything?” I asked, but Brent shook his head.
“Let’s not celebrate until this thing is done,” he commanded. He looked around the living room with satisfaction. “See, Jackie, the new art really sets off the place. It’s, you know, subtle.”
I allowed myself a smirk. Brent had never cottoned onto the fact that I’d basically camouflaged the original artwork. All he knew that there was less colour, so it must be more refined. And it bugged me that he was taking credit for art directing the interior decoration, when I’d done all the work.
“I’ll send you the bill for the new art.”
He squinted. “Looks expensive. What gallery did you get it at? You should have rented instead of buying.”
I shook my head. “Refined, subtle art never comes cheap. You of all people should know that.”
“Actually, they might look nice at my new place. Maybe I’ll buy them from you.”
I really had to bite my tongue now. Brent would never have my art at his place. I’d have to invent a good story about some important artist.
Carole joined us in the living room. “Great news! You’ve sold your house. Congratulations.”
Brent smiled and shook Carole’s hand. “Thank you so much, Carole. Great work.”
“It was a pleasure. And Jackie did such a fantastic job on the house, it made my job that much easier.”
“Yeah, she’s always been good at decorating,” he agreed. He made it sound like nothing, but it was my next job. I was halfway through collecting items for Fiona’s project, and I’d already begun drawing up plans for Amanda’s new place.
We told the kids the place was sold before they left with Brent. Not that it was a shock, but the finality of a sale and a moving date was hard on them. I could see that Tristan was upset, but he didn’t want to cry in front of his dad. Brent whisked them both off to dinner with his parents. It would be up to him to deal with all the fallout of losing the only home they’d known.
Leo was out of town so we had no dinner plans. I wandered around the house, touching things: the couch in the family room where we sat for movie night; the doorframe where we marked the height and ages of the kids, the dent from when Brent had swung Hannah up too high and her feet hit the ceiling. Finally, I sat down on Tristan’s bed. He had the worst nightmares, and I’d come in and lie down with him. The night would be so quiet, and all I could hear would be Tristan’s uneven breathing and the ticking of the grandfather clock. Brent had taken that clock with him, so right now the house was completely silent.
For so long, I’d tried to keep everything the same. Our home was a fortress against a world that was coming apart. Now that fortress wasn’t ours any longer. I knew it was time, and I wasn’t afraid of the change. But all the memories of happy times were flooding my brain. That beautiful life that I assumed would last forever.
I buried my head into Tristan’s pillow and cried.
22<
br />
New Kid in Town
Jackie
Leo was tense as we waited in the restaurant. I knew from the moment he asked me two weeks ago to come to this dinner that it was a big deal. Why ask so formally when we saw each other so much anyway? He claimed he wanted me to meet Charlotte, who was arriving for the summer. However, I was pretty sure that his tension had more to do with the newlyweds who were bringing her—his ex-wife, Sophie, and her new husband, Wes Graham.
Leo scarcely mentioned his ex-wife, and I was pretty curious to meet her. Dating Leo was odd, since he was so alone. We went out with Amanda and Chris, and he sometimes socialized with other hockey people. But he had no old friends or family here. He was from a family of six, but so far none of them had visited yet.
And of course, I was dying to meet the woman that Leo had chosen to marry. He was such a commitment-phobe now that it was tough to imagine him being all head-over-heels. I chose a pretty print shift dress and took extra care with my makeup. These days, I needed extra time to hide all the tiny imperfections. But sleeping better meant the dark circles under my eyes were gone. Sex, it’s good for your skin!
Leo fiddled with his phone and barely touched his beer. Since he was normally so confident and controlled, his nervousness was beginning to affect me too.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
He turned from watching the restaurant doorway to face me. “Yeah. Maybe I should have told you, but….” He paused and looked down at his phone again.
“Papa!”
A tiny blonde girl wrapped Leo in a tight hug. He squeezed his arms around her and hugged her back. His eyes were closed, and the expression on his face was one I had never seen before: utter, relaxed bliss. He was normally so guarded and that all fell away.
After the hug, he scooped Charlotte into his arms and stood up. I watched as Sophie and Wes walked towards us. Sophie was almost exactly what I expected: tall, slim, and completely gorgeous.
