by Shey Stahl
With the lifestyle we lived, you would think it would cause tension for them but it never seemed to, from what I saw.
Picking myself off the floor, I made my way inside my room and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was exhausted.
I ended up working off everything I broke in the hauler that night and wasn’t allowed to race the following weekend. Not because dad wouldn’t let me but because my hand was most certainly broken.
I skipped school that week to get my car ready for Chico the following weekend. I had some shit to fix on it.
Sway stopped by after school on Thursday to help me when Chelsea showed up not long after that.
The door had been locked so I’ll give you one guess as to who I have to thank for unlocking it. Spencer.
“So I’m not allowed to come by but she is?” Chelsea asked standing by the door.
I caught a brief glimpse of Spencer before I heard his annoying booming laughter as he trucked back to the house.
“I’d help you hide their bodies if needed.” Sway said with a smile and a glare at Chelsea.
Chelsea looked ridiculous dressed in a white summer dress. But that wasn’t what was so ridiculous. It was her attempt at looking like she was heading out for a strip club was with heels that could kill someone.
Sway, who’d been roughing tires, stood and brushed the rubber shavings from her worn jeans.
“I’m going to go talk to Emma. I’ll be back later.”
My eyes shot to hers, frantically pleading for her not to leave me alone but she didn’t. I growled at her, actually growled and then turned toward Chelsea.
“What do you want?”
“You,”
Chuckling to myself, I turned and walked back to my car to finish welding the torsion bars.
She followed and approached me from behind. Leaning against my back, she wrapped her arms around my waist, slipping them down my hips.
I caught her hand before it slipped inside my jeans.
“I need...you to leave.” I told her trying to control my emotions and not freak out. “I have work to do.”
“I can take care of you,” she offered kissing down the side of my neck. It felt good, but it also felt wrong. While her touch physically felt welcoming, the emotions I felt weren’t.
“I don’t think so. I have a lot of work to do here.”
“Are you really that mad at me? I only told Sway she should keep her hands off my boyfriend. I hardly think that’s cause for the silent treatment.”
I threw the torsion bar across the shop, the crack it made when it hit the metal doors forced Chelsea to step backward, her face frightened.
“Get the fuck out of here!” I yelled without turning around to look at her. “I mean it. You need to leave.”
Her heels clicked loudly as she stomped away, slamming the door behind her.
I knew I would eventually turn back to Chelsea, as I always did but I also knew in that moment that if she so much as mentioned Sway’s name again, I would have thrown the torsion bar at her.
I only wanted to race but because I was seventeen and my hormones seemed to rule over my actions I found myself wrapped up in the middle of this bullshit.
Something had to give and I knew what it was. Me. I couldn’t take much more of any of this and it wasn’t what I should be focusing on.
That weekend was our senior prom and after last weekend I wanted nothing to do with anything related to high school. I needed to be alone. Chelsea wanted me to go to prom and asked endlessly the following day despite my snide comments to her. I could care less what she thought. The one I was worried about was Sway.
I could tell Sway wanted to come with me to Chico but I didn’t want her following me around and forgoing any normal high school experience. When Cooper Young came to me earlier in the week asking if I thought she’d say yes, I honestly told him she wouldn’t go but after some convincing on my part, she said yes to him. I hated that she was going with him but on the other hand I would rather she went with him instead of Dylan.
The drive to Chico was not the same without Sway harassing me about my music choices although Spencer more than made up for it. I almost threw him out once we reached Portland and he stuck in a Britney Spears CD. Not having any pit crew this weekend I endured it.
Justin, whose hauler was parked next to ours, approached me after I made it into the pits while Spencer and I were unloading my car.
“Hey dude, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked leaning against the side of my car, his arms crossed over his chest.
I nodded. I hadn’t said much to him since the wreck two weeks ago in Skagit. Part of me felt I needed to apologize but the other part thought it’s just racing. I never expected anyone to apologize to me after wrecking so why should he?
He surprised me though when we made our way over to the concession stands.
“Hey Ami, can we get some service around here?” Justin teased handing her a twenty. “I’d like a beer.” He told her with a grin.
“Yeah, sure,” she smiled at Justin. “In four more years’ sweetie,”
Justin laughed leaning against the counter. “Fine then, I’ll take a hamburger and coke.” He nodded his head back toward me. “And whatever he wants,”
“I can cover it Justin.” I said pushing his money aside and handing her another twenty.
“After Skagit...you owe me. Just let me buy this.”
I laughed. “So I wreck you and you buy me dinner. Isn’t that a little backward?”
“Probably,”
Ami handed us our food and we walked back to the haulers. “Listen...I wasn’t going to say anything last week...I knew you had your hands full with...women problems but I would hate for you to lose any chance at a sponsor because of it. They’re not worth it.”
“You have your fair share too?” Justin was definitely a favorite among the women at the track. He usually had three or four around him at all times.
“Yeah...after a while though...they only want one thing,”
I nodded taking a bite of my hamburger and then a long pull from my drink. “They do complicate things, don’t they?”
“That they do...wait until you find one you love. That’s when the shit really hits the fan.”
“And I take it you found one?”
He smiled looking over his shoulder at the pit concession where Ami was. “Yeah, she’s pretty special to me.” he turned his gaze back to me. “Just remember why you do what you do. If you want it bad enough, everything else falls away. Look at Jimi, he knew what he wanted and look at him now.”
Justin had dreams of racing in the World of Outlaw series someday so he looked up to my dad, as I did but I wanted more than just that.
I wanted to race sprints but I also thought maybe there would be something more for me out there. Not sure which way to go, I decided for now USAC was the way after graduation. With three different series’ to compete in, I could strive for the Triple Crown National title and that was where my interest was. Justin competed in USAC events as well but he attempted to qualify for every World of Outlaw race he could. Funny enough, he did qualify for most of them.
That night I broke the 410-Sprint track-record of 10.918 that was held by Tate Harris, a NASCAR Cup driver out of Charlotte with a new record of 10.032.
It was a good night that got even better when I won the A-Feature with an entire lap lead on Justin. Compared to that weekend at Skagit, I was on fire. It took me a good hour for the adrenaline to subside and stop shaking from the thrill of the win.
Justin and I talked again after the race with Cody Bowman. Cody was twenty-one now so of course he brought us over some beer as we sat around the haulers.
“You two did good tonight,” Cody said hunching over a stack of rear tires lined up right outside the doors of my hauler.
Justin glared toward Cody as they didn’t get along. Not sure why. All I knew was if they were on the track together, one was trying to take the other out.
Cody left with Spencer after that to go check out a group of girls that had gathered near the gates. Though Spencer was now dating Alley on a regular basis, it didn’t stop him from eyeing the opposite sex.
Justin watched me closely as I sent a text to Sway letting her know where I had finished. I promised I would and knew that if I didn’t, she’d have my ass when I got home.
“What’s with you and Sway?” he asked patiently gauging my reaction.
“She’s my best friend,” I shrugged. “Not much to explain. It’s not what you think though.” I added.
Justin scoffed. “Yeah—sure,”
“It’s not,”
“Really?” he countered. “I see the way you watch her...she’s more to you than that. You just haven’t convinced yourself of that.”
Was she more? Well of course she was but I was also not willing to take any chances. What Sway and I had was good so why complicate it for the unknown just because I was physically attracted to her?
No one seemed to understand me.
I had my reasons and they were mine. They may be wrong but they were still mine. Sway never asked me to be someone else. She never asked me to change and when the weight of the world was on me, she was there, lifting it away. But that’s exactly why I wasn’t willing to change anything. This worked for me. She was mine, just in other ways. My friend.
A friend was exactly what I needed right now. I didn’t need complicated. I needed to keep focused. I needed to be the best. I needed unrivaled greatness and to do that, I needed to be vigilantly focused.
Easier said than done when you’re seventeen but I also knew if there was one thing I was good at, it was being vigilantly focused on what I wanted...racing.
6. Ignition – Jameson
Ignition – An electrical system used to ignite the air-fuel mixture in an internal combustion engine.
“Hey, you ready for tonight?” Sway asked approaching my locker.
Her hair was pulled back under her white Bowman Oil Racing baseball hat. The contrast against her dark hair made her green eyes stand out.
I smiled—so did she.
“Yeah, I’m ready. I need to be at the track after school and then I’ll ride up with Spencer and Alley.” I reached for my chemistry book before shutting my locker, turning to face her. “Do you need a ride?”
My perverted teenage brain instantly began contemplating all the ways I could give her a ride.
Damn it.
We began walking toward our chemistry class. I found the need to strategically place my book in front of me.
“No, actually—Cooper said he’d give me a ride.” My stomach dropped at the thought.
I’ll bet he did. I thought to myself.
I never cared for Cooper Young but I guess you could call him a friend. We grew up right next door to each other but when I introduced him to Sway three-years ago, he slowly began showing interest in her. I knew it would happen eventually. Sway was beautiful and if I thought she’d stay single forever, I was in being stupid.
One thing was true; I’d be having a talk with Cooper later today about keeping his hands to himself, something I should have done before prom but I had been distracted.
I hated to even consider where his hands could go, would go, or have gone. Cooper was a nice guy but I knew he had a thing for women and never dated the same one more than once, precisely why I didn’t want him with Sway. He’s not nearly as bad as Dylan Grady was but he’s close and not what Sway needed.
When I said I didn’t care if he asked her to prom, I never thought he would continue to hang around. Now that he was, I was cursing myself.
When I glanced over at Sway, I saw her lips moving.
Shit, she’s staying something. Pay attention.
“Hey...are you even listening to me?” She punched my shoulder.
“Yes...sorry...what were you saying?” I ginned trying to use my smile as a plea bargain.
“Asshole,”
“I said I was sorry.” I opened the door to our classroom, watching her walk through.
The room was already half full with our fellow classmates, most of whom I had no idea who they were. I didn’t go to classes often as I usually I had tutor that came to our house but during my senior year, I did attend school more often.
“Stop thinking about racing and listen when your best friend is talking.” She told me with a goofy smile. “Sometimes I wonder if you ever listen to what I say.”
“I do listen to you.”
“Really?” she took her seat next to the window dragging out her book from her bag. “Could have fooled me,” I glanced at her book where she had stuck various racing stickers all-over it and smiled when I saw my car number outlined in a Sharpie.
Chelsea walked in at that moment so I couldn’t say much more. “Hey,” I said in her general direction as she sat down next to us.
“Hey,” she replied kissing my cheek.
I don’t know why but I always felt uncomfortable when she did that in front of Sway. I still got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when Sway was around, as though my being with Chelsea was bad.
“You coming tonight?” Sway asked Chelsea biting on her pen.
I continued to stare unabashedly at Sway’s lips curled around the pen, ignoring the fact that Chelsea was talking to me.
Fuck me! Look at those lips. Jesus she is beautiful.
“Jameson!” Chelsea yelled directly in my ear.
I turned to her as Sway rolled her eyes.
“What?” I snapped opening my book to advert my eyes away from Sway and that goddamn pen.
I hate teenage hormones.
Sway kicked me under the table. “Jameson, I was saying...it’s just a bunch of guys up at Dayton Peak tonight, right?” she hinted.
“Oh yeah, right,” I caught on. “Yeah, Chelsea...that’s why I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think you’d wanna come up there if it was just the guys.”
Chelsea smiled tenderly, her blue eyes focused on my lips. “That’s not my idea of fun. If it’s just the guys...I guess you’ll be there, Sway?”
Chelsea and Sway still did not get along. They never had and I doubted that they ever would. They were complete opposites. Chelsea was a girly girl and Sway spent most of her time at dirt tracks and cussed more than a trucker.
I never understood why Sway wanted to hang with a bunch of jerk-offs like us but she did. Our idea of fun was hurling insults at each other and playing practical jokes that had a good possibility of someone being arrested or put in the hospital but I soon became aware that Sway enjoyed our type of fun too.
Sway quirked an eyebrow at me and snorted, “I guess I’m just a guy.” Her lips wrapped around that fucking pen again.
I reacted. Reaching across the table I snatched the pen from her hand and hurled it across the classroom. To my satisfaction, it slid under the heater vents in the back of the room.
She glared leaning in to whisper, “Was that necessary asshole?” and then kicked my shin.
“Yes it was.” I kept my eyes focused on my book.
“Well I have plans anyway.” Chelsea piped in when Sway started giggling after she noticed I had a fuel pump in my backpack to give to Tommy’s dad.
“You couldn’t drop that off before school?” she asked ignoring Chelsea.
“I was going to but he wasn’t home...so I brought it with me.”
“And I assume you couldn’t leave it in your truck? You do realize everything in your bag reeks of fuel now?”
“Fuck no. What if someone stole it?”
She smiled widely as though this was amusing to her.
“Yes because if I was going to break into your truck I would steal the fuel pump and not the hundreds of CD’s you have all over the floor board. You know, they make these cool holders now for CD’s. You should look into one of those.”
“Hey,” I flicked her hand that reached for the fuel pump. “Point taken—back off me nag,” I grinned.
Chelsea move
d from her seat to sit on my lap, which frustrated me, but I allowed it for god knows what reason.
Sway busied herself with pitching Tommy shit for passing out last night in her lawn. The black marker tattoo we added still present on his cheek.
“Fire crotch, you can’t hold your liquor for shit.” Sway kicked her long legs over the chair next to her.
Tommy’s head spun around to glare and motioned to me with a pointed finger. “Your boy there tried to kill me!”
“I had nothing to do with that,” I defended. “That was Spencer, not me.”
Sway and I started laughing at the memories of Tommy singing half-naked in her yard. We usually kept the drinking and partying to Saturday nights after races but last night “Fire Crotch” as Sway called him, lost his virginity to Kate Clemming, his longtime girlfriend.
When Mrs. Gunner walked in our conversations drifted away and Chelsea finally took her own seat. Like I said, we’d dated off and on and right now was a maybe on, maybe off. I hadn’t decided.
She drove me fucking insane most days and I couldn’t tell you why I even tolerated her but I did. I think the reason I dated her was to give Sway a chance at a normal dating life. When other men became interested in her, they turned to me thinking I was her boyfriend, which I wasn’t.
Thinking back on it, dating Chelsea was more about letting Sway be her own person. I didn’t want to stand in the way of her happiness and I knew I couldn’t offer her anything more than a friendship and I sure as shit wasn’t offering anything more than physical needs to Chelsea.
Chelsea was different from Sway in many ways. For one, Sway was a rebel and did whatever the fuck she wanted and when she wanted whereas Chelsea was straight-laced. You’d think this straight-laced side would keep her from wanting to have sex but no. We constantly had the same argument all the time. She wanted to, I didn’t.
Now it’s not that I didn’t want to have sex because let’s face it, I was seventeen. I wanted to have sex in the worse way but I didn’t want to with Chelsea. I was convinced that she had an ulterior motive, like trapping me and I wasn’t attracted to her in that way. Sadly, Sway was the one I wanted.
