She dipped her head, still holding on to it. “Yes. No. My head hurts. I’m exhausted and…” she dropped her hands.
This is it. He hoped. Right here. That moment when she hit rock bottom and had nowhere to run and hide.
He took two steps but she held her hands up. “Don’t come near me.”
“Okay. You’re exhausted and what? Finish what you were going to say.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it hurts. Is that what you want to hear?”
“If it’s the truth, yes.”
“Damn you.”
He closed the distance between them. When she didn’t argue or shove him away, he perched on the edge of the bed and set one hand on the comforter covering her thighs. Twisting her fingers together, she refused to look at him so he tucked his finger under her chin and nudged it up. “You’re exhausted and what? Tell me.”
Tears filled her eyes and she swiped at them, digging her palms into her eye sockets before furiously circling her hands in front of her chest. “I don’t know what to do with all this…this…crap…inside me. It’s like…”
She balled her hands until her knuckles popped, slamming them onto the bed and kicking at the blanket until her legs came free. Before he could stop her, she slipped out of bed and paced the room, stopped at the wall, came back and did it again, her feet slamming against the carpet.
“It’s a monster,” she said. “A mean, rabid dog, caged inside me and if I open that door, that fucking, goddamn door that has kept the monster away, I’ll go crazy. I’ll… I’ll… I don’t know!” She spun back to him, waved her fists. “But you know that, which is why you called me out on drinking. So, what do you want? You want me weak, humiliated, and unsure? Gotta tell ya’, that’s not me.”
Slowly, he got to his feet, but didn’t move toward her. As keyed up as she was, getting close to her right now might land him on his ass.
“No. That’s not what I want. Admitting you’re hurting doesn’t make you weak, Taylor. It makes you human.”
“Then I guess I’m human because this sucks.” She growled at him, literally baring her teeth. The monster at work. “Feeling vulnerable sucks.”
“Sometimes, yes. Right now, I think it’s okay. I’m hoping you allowing yourself to be vulnerable with me means you trust me with it. That’s an amazing gift.”
Their eyes connected for a few long seconds, but she remained quiet, looking at him with those green eyes that had, in the last few minutes, softened. Finally, he’d broken through the wall that kept Taylor emotionally distant.
After shutting her down a few minutes earlier, he walked over to her. She stood vulnerable, still naked except for a pair of white lace underwear.
“I’m sorry I upset you,” he said. “I just…want you. All of you. We understand each other. If you’d let me, we could be great together. And not just the sex. All of it.”
“I don’t know how to do that, Matt. I don’t. I’m empty.”
“Honey, you are far from empty.”
He slid his arms around her, his hands settling on the upper curve of her ass as a shot of cold zipped up his fingers. “You’re freezing.”
“I know. I’ve been cold a lot the last few days.”
He pulled her into him, felt the press of her breasts against his shirt and all thoughts of her getting rest flew right out of his mind. Rest? What rest?
Yeah, he was a pig. Somehow, he didn’t think she’d mind.
“Matt, you confuse me. I thought you said…”
“I’m an idiot.”
She grinned. “Most men are.”
That tore it. The woman was irresistible. He kissed her, long and slow, tentatively touching his tongue to hers, waiting for her to respond and then, there it was, her yielding, the stubbornness giving way and she arched into him, took the kiss up a notch as their tongues played tag.
He eased her backward, toward the bed, gently lowering her, determined to make this go slow. No slam-bang. No random guy she needed to unleash her rage on. This time, it had to be different. He wanted to be different.
He rolled beside her, dragging his hands over her hips, thighs, ass, and finally her tits where he pressed his thumb over one of her nipples. She hissed at him, drawing a hard breath and he clamped his mouth over her other one, drawing it into his mouth, sucking until she arched her hips up.
She wanted him.
Good.
Groaning, she set her hand on the back of his head, holding him in place. “Talk about not playing fair.”
He released her, then blew on the wet nipple. “You don’t seem to mind.”
“Not in this lifetime.”
When she wrapped her hand around him, he rolled to his back, let his mind drift. To Taylor, under him as he rocked himself into her. When did he turn into such a pansy when it came to sex? Before her, all he wanted was the release. The fast orgasm that would reset his system.
Now, he wanted everything. Slow, fast, hard, gentle. All of it.
And crazy Taylor Sinclair could give it to him.
Fantasies roaring, he reached over to his nightstand and slid the drawer open. “Condom,” he said.
Taylor let go—a shame that—and moved over him, her inner thigh rubbing against his engorged dick. He needed inside her.
“I’ll get it,” she said, rummaging in the drawer.
He opened his eyes, watched her tear open the foil then took it from her.
“Between the two of us, we might be a disaster.”
She laughed. “Like you said, we’re good together, but it’s a weird good. We’re our own kind of crazy.”
She smiled down at him and the air in his chest vanished. Gone. He sat up, cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. Never one to waste time, she angled to her back, bringing him with her and hooking one leg around him.
He gazed down at her, propped himself on his elbows and touched the edge of the bruise marring her forehead. When he found the fucker that put it there he’d kill him.
“Matt, please.”
She arched against him and he shifted right and—yes—he was inside her. Slowly easing into her as she smiled and her eyes rolled back.
“Oh, that’s good,” she said.
“Different?”
She locked her legs around him and cupped her hands on his cheeks. “Perfect.”
Chapter Thirteen
The morning did not go at all like Taylor planned. Her usual morning of coffee and more coffee morphed into coffee and pancakes with Matt in his kitchen. At some point during the early pre-dawn hours, he left her and his bed and finished paring down their leads to three, so as he served her a hot breakfast, they hashed over how to divvy up their prospects.
The plan was for him to check out Kristina Caldwell, the Lamaze instructor whose income barely registered as middle-class but who lived in an expensive townhouse and drove an $80,000 vehicle. Not a silver truck, unfortunately, but she sure hadn’t received her cushy living arrangements from her divorce six years ago, nor from any family money. That alone raised suspicion.
The other two she would take lead on, bringing her team up to speed at their 7 a.m. meeting. She would have Beck pick up Dottie and bring her in for questioning while she hunted down a prospective silver truck owner.
Her second morning surprise was Matt chauffeuring her to the office and dropping her off in front of FBI headquarters with a kiss that scorched her down to her toes. Yeah, they’d shared plenty of intimate kisses, but none felt quite like this. Somewhere in the past twenty-four hours, Taylor had lowered her guard. She’d fallen head over heels for Mad Dog. Her partner.
Her off-the-books, shouldn’t-be-working-with-you partner.
Even now, as she headed for the front doors of the Bureau building, her heart fluttered like a manic butterfly. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Before entering, she actually turned back and waved at him as he drove away like she was some silly schoolgirl.
He tooted his horn a
nd rumbled off and her heart fluttered even harder.
She pushed the glass doors open, and there was Beck waiting for her on the other side of the metal detectors, his tablet and a hot tea in hand.
“Hey,” she said as she walked by the security guards and accepted the tea. “Ready for our big day? I have some leads for us to check out. We’re close. I can feel it.”
His suit was a beautiful dark blue and his tie the color of a pumpkin. Not many men could pull it off, but Beck looked like a GQ model even in old jeans and a T-shirt. He fell into step with her, heading for the cold case offices at the rear of the building. “You look like shit. Are you okay? Why didn’t you call me last night?”
“I’m fine.” Taylor sipped the tea and made a face. “What the hell is this?”
“Wildcrafted hercampuri. Detoxes your liver and balances your cholesterol. Which you’re going to need after you see who’s in your office.”
Oh, jeez. She handed back the tea and slowed her pace. “Meredith? She’s up early. But no surprise, since I didn’t take her calls after the attack last night.”
He held the door for her and they started down the long corridor, one of the other agents giving Taylor the evil side-eye glance.
Damn. She thought she’d covered her black eye and bruise pretty well. Maybe not.
Beck waited for the agent to pass, then caught Taylor’s elbow. “AD Cunningham is in there too.”
Cunningham in her office. That had never happened before. “Is he slumming these days?” she joked.
“Taylor, this looks serious. Are they removing you from the case?”
Probably. Taylor handed him her briefcase. “All my notes and the leads on the Jarvis case I was going to assign to you and the team today are inside.”
Beck frowned as he accepted it.
“It’ll be okay,” Taylor said, but her happy mood was dwindling fast. “Even if they do remove me, you guys can take over.”
God, they better not remove me.
Stopping in front of the glass wall of her office, her eyes landed on the one person that made what was left of her good mood evaporate. “Or not.”
“I can’t work with him,” Beck said.
Meredith must have felt their stares. She turned, saw Taylor, and for a brief moment, her face showed sadness. Whatever was about to happen, Meredith felt regret about it.
Makes two of us.
“Leo is the best profiler around,” Taylor reassured Beck. Besides Grey anyway. “You’ll be fine working with him.”
Plastering on a fake smile, Taylor opened the door and entered her office.
And met the solid wall of Meredith Sardana, Marcus Cunningham, and Leo Wellington head on.
“Good morning,” she said, feigning cheeriness. “I thought we were meeting at 8.”
Leo gave her a smug smile. Cunningham shot a look at Meredith and Taylor’s boss stepped forward. “Agent Sinclair, after what happened at 12:24 this morning in the parking garage, Assistant Director Cunningham and I are concerned for your safety and your…”—she cleared her throat—“perspective with your current case.”
“I’m fine,” Taylor lied, skirting the three of them and taking her seat. “I know my deadline on the Jarvis case is up today, but I have new leads on what might have happened with the baby. I’m meeting with my team to bring them up to speed in two minutes. We have several people to interview, and—”
Leo held out a hand. “I’ll take your Jarvis file.”
Taylor caught sight of Beck, still outside her office, her notes tucked safely under his arm. Janiece had joined him, her face a worried mess of lines.
Taylor hid her own worry. “May I ask what’s going on here?”
AD Cunningham sunk his hands into his pants pockets and looked bored. “What Agent Sardana is trying to say is that you’re on suspension, Sinclair. Hand in your service weapon and badge.”
“What the hell?” Taylor said to Mer, a sudden sourness in her mouth. “You’re kidding, right? I’m suspended? Because I was attacked in the parking garage last night?”
Meredith crossed her arms. “You’re lucky that’s all it is. Every step of the way you’ve broken protocol on this case, and you know it.”
Mer didn’t know the half of it.
Or did she?
I have eyes and ears everywhere.
Damn spies.
“Broken protocol?” Did this have to do with Grey? Matt? Or was this Bureau speak for you embarrassed us in the media? “Could you be a little more specific?”
“Do I really need to?” Meredith shifted her weight and tapped a foot. “From the moment you started working with that PI, you’ve violated procedure after procedure. You went undercover without permission. You let someone break into your apartment and gain confidential information.”
“Let him? I didn’t let the perp do anything. He circumvented my security and figured out my laptop’s password.”
She continued as if Taylor hadn’t spoken. “Last night in the parking garage, you discharged your weapon.”
“A man attacked me!”
“We’re looking into it, Taylor. Meanwhile, go home, get some rest, and forget about this case. Leo is taking over.”
“Like hell he is.”
Leo snickered.
Which made the anger she hadn’t felt since last night emerge fresh. She jumped from her chair and started around the desk to get in his face—very Mitch Monroe-style—but Meredith grabbed her arm. “Don’t make things worse for yourself, Taylor.”
Taylor shook her restraining hand off and cut her gaze between Mer and Cunningham. In her peripheral vision, she saw the rest of her team gathered outside the glass wall of her office. “Is this because I went to Justice Greystone? He worked the original case. Why wouldn’t I interview him and get his insight?”
Her boss’s lips firmed and she seemed to choose her words before she spoke. “You’re a loose cannon right now, just like Greystone was at the end of his time with the Bureau. I won’t have those on my team.”
She held out her hand. “Turn over your notes, Taylor.”
Technically, the information contained inside her briefcase was the property of the FBI.
Good thing Beck was FBI.
“I don’t have them.” Taylor removed her gun from its holster and her credentials from her bag, stacking both on top of her desk. “Guess you’re on your own to solve the Jarvis case.”
Her legs shook but she held her head high as she moved past the threesome toward her office door. Beck opened it before she could and held it for her. She thanked him, moving down the hall, her team huddling around her.
“Did they fire you?” Beck asked.
Taylor kept moving. She needed her car. Needed to get out of here. “Suspension, that’s all.”
“Suspension?” Beck swore softly. “What now?”
“Leo’s taking over. Don’t let him have my notes. You guys are to investigate the two leads outlined on page three and four. I’ll check into the third one outlined on page two. We’re going to find Baby Jarvis and solve this case. We just have to be creative in the way we do it.”
They started to follow her into the elevator that lead to the parking garage. Taylor held out a hand and stopped them. “Go back to your desks and get to work. I’ll be in touch.”
Mer hadn’t even told her if the forensics team had cleared her car. For all she knew, the man last night had planted a tracking device. Hell, maybe he’d put a bomb on it. How had he gotten past security?
A dozen questions filled her head, the anger in her gut sizzling.
She’d shot the prick. Had they called the hospitals? Were they even looking for him?
She punched Matt’s number in and he picked up on the first ring as she left the elevator and headed for her car.
“Miss me already?”
“I’m heading to Grey’s. Meet me there?”
“I thought you had a couple of meetings.”
“They were cancelled.”
&
nbsp; “What happened? Is it your head? Do you feel dizzy?”
She smiled. At least one person in the world cared about her. “Thank you.”
“For what? Another amazing night of sex?”
The teasing did it and she laughed. Her career was in shambles, she was cut off from her team, and she was laughing.
Because of Matt.
“For worrying about me.” She hated to get serious on him, but she wanted him to know. “Thank you for caring about me.”
“Wait… Are you crying?”
She dashed at the tears on her cheeks. “Don’t be ridiculous. How soon can you get to Grey’s?”
She heard the screech of tires through the phone. “On my way. Should be there in fifteen minutes or less.”
Her car still had crime scene tape around it. Was it safe to drive?
“Taylor!”
Meredith’s voice echoed in the garage. Taylor turned slowly. “I’ve got to go,” she said to Matt. “I’ll see you in a few.”
“Are you going to tell me what this is about once we’re there?”
Meredith was stomping toward her, her forehead a thunderstorm.
Beck and her team must have played dumb about her notes.
God, she loved them all.
“Did my car clear forensics?” she called to Meredith.
“Yes, but it hasn’t been cleared by me.” Mer pointed a finger at her. “You’re not leaving until we finish our discussion.”
“I’m officially off the case,” Taylor murmured to Matt. “But hell if I’m going to take this lying down.”
“Jesus. What the hell happened?”
You happened.
Ignoring Meredith, Taylor smacked the crime scene tape out of the way and got into her car. “Nothing I can’t handle. But trust me, Grey’s going to love this.”
* * *
“They suspended you?”
Matt sat in front of Grey’s desk with Taylor beside him, her fingers gripping the arms of her chair while the Justice Team leader’s eyes damned near exploded from his head. Add to that his face turning a violent shade of purple and whatever was going on inside him wasn’t pretty.
Missing Justice (The Justice Team Book 7) Page 17
