Heaven Bound (A Blakemore Family Book: Madame Lou Series Book 2)

by Hoyt, Saralynn

  Breathless from what she had just seen, Addie snuck back to her own room and crawled under the covers. She knew what she had just witnessed—intruded upon, really—and she knew it had been wrong to stay and watch. But she’d been hypnotized by Jack’s beautiful body and the way he and Clara had moved and been joined together. An urgent thrumming in her belly and below had been awakened by what she’d seen that night and every time she thought of it, it set her blood on fire and created a need in her that could not be quenched.

  “Miss James, oh dear, Miss James, are you alright? You don’t look at all well. You didn’t touch your trout almandine and you’ve barely noticed the other dishes presented.”

  “I’m fine, just not very hungry.” Addie said hoping no one noticed that she sounded as breathless as she felt. She tried to turn her attention back to the conversation at the table. “Are you really going to stay in England, Jack?”

  “I was just telling your father that I sent some inquiries around Liverpool, London, and Bristol to see where the best places are for shipping offices to be set up.” Jack was keeping the waiters busy refilling both his plate and his wineglasses. He appeared almost normal tonight, as if Clara were waiting for him back in his cabin.

  “Excellent idea.” Simon said, glad to be able to have a conversation about something he was interested in for a change. “Last year when I went and bought the house Adeline and I will be living in, I found a few decent locations to set up business in London. I’ll be happy to show you what I found. It will give me some ease, knowing my dear Addie isn’t alone here when I do return to New York.”

  “Still all business talk, Simon?” Henrietta said with disapproval. “No wonder you’ve never remarried.”

  “I’ve never found another woman to compare to my Margaret.” Simon said with a disapproving sniff. “I suppose you are barely a day out of mourning and already casting your nets, Lady Huntingdon?”

  “Why so formal, Simon? You can call me Henrietta, just like old times. And don’t worry; I’m not casting my net in your direction. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not investigating all of my options.” Lady Huntingdon waited to continue until the waiters served the next course of cold asparagus vinaigrette and pate de foie gras. “A woman in this day and age must always be on the lookout for advantages.”

  “Don’t give my Adeline any ridiculous ideas, Henrietta. As it stands, it took more than two years just to get her to England. I don’t want her taking another two years to pick a suitable husband.”

  “So you are going to let her choose on her own?” Lady Huntingdon asked, tasting the delicacies.

  “What kind of backward dolt do you think I am? Of course she can choose any man she wants as long as he’s got a proper title. It was Adeline’s mother’s only wish in life.” Papa got that faraway look in his eyes whenever the subject was broached. “Addie wants it, too, don’t you my dear girl?”

  “Of course, Papa; what red-blooded American girl wouldn’t want to be a duchess?” Adeline struggled not to roll her eyes as she quoted what Simon had said hundreds of times whenever the subject was brought up. She’d worked hard over the years to keep the sarcasm from her voice as well.

  “Indeed!” Simon laughed and toasted his daughter. “Don’t you think our Addie will make a fine duchess, Jack?”

  “I know Clara thought that any man who captured Adeline’s heart would indeed be deserving of her hand in marriage.” Jack smiled a bit sadly recalling his wife’s words. “But you’ve never been in a hurry to find that man, have you Addie? Too busy running around…”

  “Never mind that, Jack.” Adeline said frowning at her friend, hoping he understood that she didn’t want discuss her reform activities in front of her father nor a total stranger. Addie had taken great pains to ensure that Papa never found out about her extracurricular activities. He would not approve, especially since some of the rallies she’d helped arrange had been at his expense. “Oh look, peaches in chartreuse jelly; your favorite, Papa.” she said, neatly changing the topic.

  Jack dropped the subject as well, but it was apparent that his mind had wandered again to his recently widowed state and he excused himself a few minutes later, leaving well before Simon retreated to indulge in cards and brandy in the gentlemen’s Smoking Room. Adeline and Lady Huntingdon stayed a bit longer and enjoyed a glass of sherry before parting and turning in for the evening.

  “How was dinner?” Emily asked following Adeline into her bedroom.

  “Very fine.” Addie sat at the vanity and allowed her lady’s maid to get her ready for bed. “I want to get an early start tomorrow though. Father will most likely have breakfast in the dining room, then find the barber for a shave. I expect he’ll spend the day reading the paper and discussing politics and business with the other gentlemen. As soon as it’s safe, Em—Stone—I’ll find a purser or steward to show me how to access the lower decks. Have you had a chance to go yourself yet?”

  “No, Miss. I spent the day unpacking your things.” Emily helped Addie out of the elaborate gown and unlaced her corset. “Are we still going to Paris directly? I was just thinking that since your figure is so trim, you might want to consider some of the newer fashions that you don’t need one of these awful things for.” Emily held up the constricting garment.

  “Yes, we’ll be off to Paris almost immediately to order some new gowns and things for the Season in London. But we should only be there a few weeks. Do you really think I can get away without a corset?”

  “Oh, yes, Miss.” Emily nodded adamantly. “And just think of the time we’ll save getting you dressed.”

  “I think I’ll have breakfast in our cabin tomorrow morning.” Adeline allowed her maid to slip her nightgown over her head.

  “Yes, Miss. Will there be anything else?”

  “No, thank you, Emily; I mean, Stone.” Addie yawned and crawled into the small but comfortable bed.

  Emily finished putting away Addie’s clothes and left the cabin. Lying alone in the bed, Adeline struggled to keep her thoughts away from the image that had assaulted her at dinner. She’d thought she’d suppressed the vision of Jack’s naked body years ago, but it had all come rushing back tonight. The chilly evening suddenly grew warm as Addie relived that moment in vivid detail again.

  In the privacy of her own cabin, she allowed those foreign feelings to wash over her. Years later, in a new context, there was definitely something different about what she was feeling. When Clara was alive and Addie was eighteen, it had just been a young girl’s first encounter with the secrets of the marital bed. But now that Adeline was nearly twenty-two and a woman about to be married herself, it took on a whole new meaning. This burning in her blood and longing in her loins every time she allowed herself to remember the incident and how beautiful Jack’s body had looked— gleaming with sweat in the moonlight—was enough to distract her from remembering why she could never share such a moment with him.

  Addie mentally shook herself. This was not good. She had to leave her childhood fantasies of Jackson Bradley behind her and instead turn her attention to fulfilling her parents’ fondest wish. Having been given everything her heart could ever desire growing up, including the complete devotion and love of both Mama and Papa, Addie had always known that she would willingly give them this gift of marrying an aristocratic Englishman. And not even the knowledge that her childhood fantasy of being the wife of Jackson Bradley was now an actual possibility could dissuade her from the future she was destined for.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Jack groaned in misery when his valet knocked on the bedroom door. The smell of coffee broke through the pounding in his head as he forced his eyes open. Somehow, Griffin had managed to undress him and get him to bed last night, obviously ignoring his earlier instructions. Jack remembered leaving dinner early and returning to his cabin only to end up drinking too much and passing out in the small sitting room.

  His low mood had started with the conversation at dinner. Whenever he allowed himself to th
ink of Clara, he was haunted by the last time he’d seen her. The mortician had allowed him to view her perfectly-embalmed corpse before sealing the coffin one last time. That had been over a month ago and it had been agony to see her looking so pale and thin, nothing like the beautiful vibrant woman he’d married.

  “Shall I prepare a bath for you, sir?” Griffin asked, handing Jack a cup of black coffee.

  “Yes, thank you. What time is it?”

  “Nearly luncheon, sir.” Griffin disappeared into the tiny water closet. “I can bring you a tray if you’d prefer to eat in your rooms.”

  “That would probably be best. I don’t think I’m fit for the first-class dining salon today.”

  “No disrespect, but for a moment there I’d been hoping you’d turned a corner, sir.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I just thought maybe you were finally going to start living again, sir.”

  Jackson signed and rubbed his aching head. “Maybe I don’t want to, Griffin, not if it means forgetting the love I had with Clara.”

  Griffin checked the bathtub and turned off the spigots. “You’ll never forget her, of course, Mr. Bradley, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and a pretty good one at that. It would be an awful shame if I’m the only companion you have who sees you into your old age.”

  “Did I ever tell you how I met Clara?”

  “No, sir.” Griffin lied.

  “I was seventeen and she was sixteen. She was a serving girl at her father’s tavern in the village on my family’s estate. I fell in love with Clara at first sight and, much to my father’s chagrin, I’ve never looked at another woman since then. Against the earl’s wishes I married Clara and with a small inheritance from my uncle, we left for America. I never once even considered that I had made a mistake.”

  “Mrs. Bradley was a lovely woman, no doubt about it.” Griffin helped Jack out of his pajamas.

  “She was everything to me, Griffin, and I don’t know if living again will be possible without her.” Stepping into the hot water, Jack sighed as he lowered himself. “Maybe if we’d had children, I could have carried on for them. But Clara never was able to carry a child to full term. Sometimes I blame myself. Maybe if I’d let her be, she would have been strong enough to fight the disease. Maybe she would still be alive.”

  “You mustn’t say such things, sir. I’m certain Mrs. Bradley would be very upset if she could see you like this.”

  “You are probably right, but nevertheless, I’m in no mood or condition today to be seen in polite society.”

  “I assume that means you won’t be visiting the ship’s barber today then?” Griffin said and began the task of shaving Jackson’s stubble.

  “Just make sure the liquor cart is full, Griffin. Then you may take the rest of the day off.”

  “I’ll see you fed first, if you don’t mind, Mr. Bradley.”

  “Very well, Griffin. You are as bad as a mother hen.” Jack enjoyed ruffling his valet’s feathers. It was a small thing, but these days it was all he had.

  Griffin helped Jack dress in a casual suit. “Just in case you decide to take a stroll later, sir.”

  “While you are out rustling up a meal, would you give a message to Mr. James for me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Just ask for his and Miss James pardon that I’m not feeling up to joining them for dinner tonight. They came on this ship at my request and now I’ve let them both down. Never mind, Griffin. Let me write it down in a note. I wouldn’t want Simon to misunderstand.”

  “I’m sure he won’t, sir, but Miss James will be disappointed.”

  “Indeed, Addie will not be happy with me.”

  Jack sealed his letter in an envelope and gave it to his valet to deliver. It was wrong of him to hide in his cabin, but Jackson just couldn’t face his friends right now. The way Adeline had looked at him yesterday when he had been enjoying the countess’s conversation made him feel he’d been disrespectful to Clara’s memory. Addie had obviously been upset that he was having a good time, and she was right. He had no business forgetting that he was in mourning after only a few months. It was better that he stayed away from them so he could remember what it was he’d lost and so they could enjoy the voyage without him casting a dark cloud over their merriment.

  * * *

  “Shouldn’t we wait for Jackson to join us?” Adeline asked as her father led her to a table in the Paris-style restaurant that was only available to the first-class passengers.

  “I forgot to mention that he sent a note earlier. He gave his apologies. Ah, but it looks as if Henrietta isn’t worried about spoiling our party.”

  “Simon, behave yourself or I’ll insist you call me Lady Huntingdon.” The countess was dressed in a glittering black evening gown with sapphire satin trim that dropped at the shoulders and showed off her ample bosom. Her diamond tiara was twice the size of Adeline’s and certainly represented her elevated status.

  “What did the note say exactly, Papa?” Addie asked wondering what she might have done to put him off.

  “He just said he didn’t think he was fit for our company right now and isn’t sure if he will be for the remainder of the voyage.”

  “Oh dear, I’m afraid that was my fault.” Lady Huntingdon said patting Addie’s arm apologetically. “He must have been distraught that I made him laugh while he’s still grieving.”

  “Do you really think so?” Addie asked still concerned. Imagining Jack all alone with nothing to do but consider a future without Clara was not how she wanted to picture him.

  “Give the poor boy some time.” Simon said tucking into the sumptuous dinner of roast duckling and sirloin of beef. “After my Maggie died, I was despondent for several years. Even now I still miss her.” He grew quiet, setting his utensils down. “Your mother was the love of my life, just like Clara was Jack’s. But Jackson is young and has no children to keep her memory strong.” He reached over and squeezed Addie’s hand affectionately. “He’ll come back to us soon enough, my dear.”

  “I can’t believe a handsome and wealthy young man like Jackson Bradley will remain unattached for very long.” Henrietta chimed in as she sipped her wine. “But if it was a love match, like you and Margaret, who knows how long he’ll be in mourning. What has it been for you, Simon, nearly a decade? Do you really think your wife would have wanted you to spend the rest of your days alone?”

  “I’m not alone, I have Adeline.” Papa grumbled taking a flakey roll and spreading a thick layer of fresh butter on it. “Besides, what would you know about mourning, Henrietta? Lord Huntingdon is barely cold in his grave and you are already looking for his replacement.”

  “I beg your pardon, Mr. James, but life is for the living and the here and now is all any of us can count on.” Lady Huntingdon sniffed contemptuously as the waiter wheeled the dessert cart slowly amongst the diners. “Speaking of which, I think I’ll partake in one or two of those delightfully sinful creations.”

  Adeline couldn’t help but smile at the countess’s joie de vive as she picked out her own dessert. A piece of cake that was five layers deep filled with creams and jams and frosted with a butter cream that had been colored a soft pink. She sank her fork into the soft yellow cake and closed her eyes as she tasted the raspberry and butter melt in her mouth.

  “See, your daughter knows how to enjoy life’s little pleasures, even when she is facing an unknown future.”

  “Adeline doesn’t have an unknown future.” Simon scoffed. “She will marry a peer and become a lady and live a life of aristocratic leisure. Just as you did, Henrietta.”

  “Oh, Simon, you really think that is how it went? I know it’s been a very long time since we last met, but if you mean to compare the life I led to yours and Margaret’s, you may want to reconsider.”

  “I recall it was just after I’d made my first small fortune and your father had finally deigned to consider me as a business partner in an investment. You were on your way to London, very muc
h as Addie is now, and Maggie took an instant interest in you.” Papa smiled as he recalled that evening so many years ago. “Adeline was just a little girl and I think it was the first time that Margaret began to have aspirations of grandeur for our daughter.”

  “Please don’t blame your misguided decision to force Adeline to marry a duke on to me.” Henrietta took a bite of her chocolate-painted éclairs with vanilla cream. “Margaret was simply tired of being treated like all the other nouveau riche at the time and she wanted to make sure Adeline did not suffer from the same social snubs.”

  “Don’t pretend to know what my Maggie wanted.” Simon pushed his own dessert aside. “You were only friends for a few months. I was married to her for many wonderful years.”

  “And it was a marriage of love, wasn’t it, Simon? Don’t you want the same for your daughter?”

  Adeline’s knuckles were white from clenching her fork so tightly, as she shoved large bites of the cake into her mouth to keep from screaming in frustration. Why were these two bickering as if they were an unhappily married couple? Couldn’t they see that she was sitting right here and they were speaking about her as if her feelings didn’t even matter? They were behaving despicably and it was nearly more than she could tolerate. Why didn’t either of them ask her what she thought of her inevitable nuptials or what she wanted from her predetermined future?