by E S Richards
It was the people who lived there that he really struggled to see eye to eye with. He had always sort of felt like he didn’t belong and discovering how few people had chosen to leave only made him feel more certain of that. His reasoning for condemning himself to death had been valiant—he thought. He was sure all the other people were refusing to leave more out of stubbornness than anything else.
“Do you wish you could’ve gone?” Angelica asked in a small voice, unable to look at her brother as she posed the question.
Michael was shocked. He thought out of everyone, Angie understood his intentions. He had never felt like he needed to explain himself to her. “I do,” he answered honestly, “but that wasn’t the right choice for me. I’m needed here and I would never leave you or Mom behind.”
Angelica nodded. She had just wanted to hear her brother say it. Sliding her hand across the small gap between where the two of them sat, she brushed her fingers against his until they were holding hands.
“What do you think will happen to us?” Angelica asked again, her voice still barely above a whisper. “Do you think we’ll die?”
“Probably,” Michael replied, squeezing his sister’s hand as he spoke, the two of them huddled up against the terrors of the eruption. “But everyone dies eventually, Angie. Sooner or later, each of our times would have come.”
“Do you think it’ll hurt?”
“I don’t know,” Michael pondered, trying to imagine what it would be like to die. “I hope it’s just like going to sleep. You close your eyes and for once, you just don’t wake up. I know it can be painful. Really painful. But,” Michael remembered the sight of his father’s limp body in front of him and the years of sorrow it had brought his mother afterwards. “I think it’s more painful for the people around you. For the ones who have to watch you die and deal with it afterwards.
“I think that’s why I’m still here, Angie,” Michael continued after a short pause. “I think it’d be more painful to leave and know that you and Mom died here and I did nothing to try and make life easier for you, than it will be to leave this world with you both by my side. When the end comes—and sadly, I think it will come soon—I want to be with the people I love, not some strangers who claim they can save me. I don’t know how things would have ended up if I’d gone with them, but I do know that by staying here I get to spend my final days with two of the people I love the most in the world. My death will be on my own terms and nothing that anyone says or does can change that. I will die the man that I always wanted to be.”
Chapter 16
She had to time this perfectly. Riley lay in bed in the back bedroom, the sun just rising outside and trying as hard as it possibly could to break through the dark clouds that surrounded the farmhouse. A pointless task, as the world was now eternally doomed to a never-ending twilight, but it marked the fact that morning had come and that meant it was time for Riley to put her plan into action.
Down the hall, Chase was lacing up his boots and preparing for the day ahead. He’d gone over everything meticulously with his grandfather the day before. They’d run through what to do if he encountered someone on the side of the road, what to do if he ran into trouble, if the truck broke down, if he couldn’t find the supplies they needed—all eventualities had been covered and now there was nothing left to do but leave.
Chase couldn’t help feeling a bit bad for Riley though. He understood why she wanted to come with him and internally he had finally come to the decision that he would prefer it if Riley was by his side. That didn’t matter though. Grandma Linda was dead set against the idea and so Riley was staying put. His sister had tried to argue once more over dinner late last night but it had just ended in a shouting match between the two of them. In the end, Riley had abandoned her dinner and flounced off to her room, slamming the door behind her.
But now that he was finally ready, Chase knew he couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to her. Even if he was planning on being back later that same day, he still needed to say his goodbyes to his sister.
“Hey,” Chase knocked softly on her door, the wooden structure opening slightly as he did so. “Riley? You up?”
“Go away,” Riley grumbled from her bed, locking eyes with her brother as he entered the room.
“Hey,” Chase complained. “You know this isn’t my decision. I’m not the one making you stay behind.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t actually ever tell Grandma that you wanted me to come with you,” Riley pouted. This was the first part of her plan and it needed to be acted out perfectly.
“That’s not fair,” Chase replied as he sat on the edge of Riley’s bed. “You know that I couldn’t have changed her mind. It would’ve made no difference.”
“It would’ve to me,” Riley replied truthfully, still slightly hurt that her brother hadn’t fought in her corner.
“I’m sorry,” Chase admitted, bowing his head in apology. “I’m gonna miss you today, you know I will.”
Riley didn’t say anything, determined to stick to her “grumpy child” persona and not give in to her brother’s nice words. She needed him to think that she was angry with him and to tell their grandparents as much. If she was going to make it out of the farmhouse, she needed Chase to think that she hated him.
“I’ll see you when I get back, yeah?” Chase continued, trying to clear the air between him and his sister. “I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Whatever,” Riley huffed. “Just go.”
“Riley, please…”
“Just go, Chase!” Riley raised her voice at her brother, rolling over in her bed and putting her back to him. “I don’t even care if you don’t come back.”
The words tasted bitter on her tongue as she said them, instantly regretting the hurt she knew they would cause her brother. She doubted for a moment whether she was doing the right thing. Was she making the right decision or was she just being a child about the whole thing and throwing her toys across the room for no reason? Either way, it was too late now. Riley felt Chase tense up beside her at her words, his body stiffening as he processed what she’d said. He didn’t reply. He didn’t need to; Riley knew what he would be thinking. Shaking his head, Chase rose to his feet and walked out of the back bedroom, leaving Riley stewing in her words by herself.
The second the door was closed, Riley ripped back the covers and sprang to her feet. She was already fully dressed. She had been for hours. The only thing that was left to do was slip on her walking boots and she was ready for the day. Pulling open her bedroom door, she could hear Chase talking to their grandparents in the kitchen downstairs. This was the risky part of her plan but Riley felt like she couldn’t back down now. She couldn’t sit at home and mull over the horrible words she’d just spoken to her brother if they weren’t at least for something. She’d devised this whole plan so now she had to follow it through.
Tiptoeing back over to her bed, Riley stuffed a few extra pillows under the blanket and shaped it as best she could so it looked like there was someone there. It wouldn’t pass the test if either of her grandparents looked too closely, but if they just stuck their head around the door, she could get away with it. Besides, she only had to fool them for an hour or so and Chase would’ve driven the truck far enough away for it to be pointless turning back. She was certain that once it was just the two of them, Chase wouldn’t have any qualms about Riley joining him on the supply run.
With the bed prepped, Riley slung her rucksack over her back and crept along the hallway into her grandparents’ room. From there, she quietly opened the balcony doors and stepped out into the cold air, praying that no one had heard from downstairs. Her grandparents’ room was on the opposite side of the house from the kitchen, so Riley knew she was safe from anyone looking out of the window. Peering over the edge to the ground below, she suddenly felt very small.
“Come on, Riley, don’t chicken out now,” she muttered to herself, taking a few deep breaths to psych herself up. It wasn’t like she was ju
mping all the way down at once; from the balcony it was just a case of lowering herself down to the roof of the mudroom and then jumping off from there. She and Chase had done it a hundred times before at a much younger age—so why did it feel so dangerous all of a sudden?
“Either jump,” she instructed herself, finding that speaking out loud was helping her to feel better. “Or go back inside and get into bed like the baby they all think you are.”
With a crack of her neck, Riley placed her hands on the top of the balcony railing and swung her right leg over, straddling the wood for a second or two. It felt a lot less secure than it had on previous occasions and with the wind and rain beating down on her, Riley didn’t want to spend long in that position. There was a Re-Breather 3000 in her rucksack, but she hadn’t thought to put it on beforehand. That was another reason why she needed to hurry up, maneuvering her second leg over so she was standing on the outside of the balcony at last.
“See,” she told herself. “Easy.” Spinning around slowly, Riley knelt down into a crouch and eventually got onto her knees. From there it was simple enough to lower her body to the mudroom roof, her feet finding their place with relative ease. Once planted, Riley walked as quietly as she could across the roof, hoping that her footsteps couldn’t be picked up in the house below.
The drop down to the grass was perhaps ten feet, nothing she hadn’t done before. Shrugging off her rucksack, she threw that down first, wincing as it landed with a thud. She was sure that over the sound of the wind, no one would be able to hear her, but Riley couldn’t be too careful. Knowing how much time she was wasting, she closed her eyes and jumped off the roof before she could overthink it. If she did all this and then didn’t get into the truck in time it would all be for nothing and she wasn’t about to get caught at the last point. Less than a minute later she was closing the back door of the truck behind her and lying down on the floor underneath an old blanket. Should Chase choose to look underneath it, she would be caught, but Riley knew the likelihood of that was slim. All she had to do now was stay quiet and wait for the time to pass.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” Chase reassured his grandmother again as they stood by the door in the mudroom. “Honestly, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“Oh, come here,” Linda wrapped her arms around her grandson one more time, struggling to let him go. “Just be careful, will you? You know I won’t be able to focus on anything until you get back.”
“I know,” Chase replied, “but try. Try and do something with Riley. She’s still in a mood, but I’m sure she’ll snap out of it.”
“Are you positive she doesn’t want to see you off?” Jerry asked, slightly disappointed in his granddaughter for acting so childish about things. She hadn’t gotten her way, but that didn’t mean that she needed to sulk about it.
“It’s fine,” Chase brushed off the question. “I saw her earlier, she’s just feeling sorry for herself. Give it an hour or two and it’ll all be forgotten; you know what Riley’s like.”
“Boy, do we,” Jerry smiled faintly, everyone aware of just how stubborn the young girl could be.
“Right.” Chase focused again on the matter at hand. “I’ll see you this evening.”
“Drive safe, sweetheart,” Linda spoke, her bottom lip quivering. “We love you.”
“Love you too, guys,” Chase smiled back, doing his best not to give in to his fear. He knew this needed to be done and he needed to leave, but the emotional goodbyes he was receiving from his grandparents were making him question whether he was up for it. He couldn’t admit that now, though. What was best was for him to just get out on the road and then there wouldn’t be a choice left in the matter. “See ya,” he added over his shoulder, trying to sound as casual as possible before he pulled open the door and stepped outside into the wind.
Jogging to the car, Chase pulled open the driver’s side door and jumped in, chucking his rucksack over onto the passenger seat. His hands gripped the steering wheel immediately and he felt a lump form in his throat. Technically it wasn’t even legal for him to drive, but he doubted that mattered now. What he was more worried about was his ability to do so in this weather; he’d actually been driving around the farm since he was fifteen, but never in such extreme conditions.
Again, that was a thought that Chase tried not to entertain. Pushing the key into the ignition he started the engine, looking out of the window to see his grandparents huddled in the mudroom, watching. He couldn’t delay this any longer. They needed protecting and their house needed rebuilding. Releasing the emergency brake, Chase allowed the truck to roll slowly forward before he waved at his grandparents in the window and put his foot down on the accelerator. In a cloud of dust and a roar of gasoline, he was finally on his way.
It was normally a two-hour drive to the hardware store Chase was heading to, though both he and Jerry had agreed it would probably take longer with the weather. That then gave Chase a good few hours once he was there to find everything they needed for the house, pack up the truck, and start driving back in plenty of time before what little light he had gave in to true darkness.
Once the farmhouse was in the rear view mirror behind him and Chase had gotten used to the vibrating hum of the engine in his seat, he relaxed back into the chair. There was no reason why this journey should be difficult and no reason why he shouldn’t be back in time for dinner. Then it would take them a couple of days to rebuild the roof and the wall, and everything would be back to normal. With that scenario in his head, Chase started to whistle a tune under his breath. It helped to keep his mind distracted from the bigger, scarier picture and to just focus on the road ahead of him. If he could keep going like that, nothing could steer him wrong.
Under the blanket, positioned just behind Chase, Riley listened to her brother whistling. She counted the minutes steadily in her head, waiting for just the right time to reveal herself. The last thing she wanted was for Chase to find her too soon and drive her back home. She couldn’t deal with how embarrassing that would be or how ashamed her grandparents would be of her. So, biding her time, Riley waited. She let the minutes drag by until she thought it was safe enough and finally, tugged the blanket from her face revealing herself to her brother.
Chapter 17
“She’s gone!” Linda hurried down the stairs to the kitchen, her heart thumping in her chest as she descended faster than she had in the last twenty years or more. “Riley’s gone!”
“What?” Jerry questioned, holding his wife by the shoulders and trying to calm her down. “What do you mean, ‘Riley’s gone’?”
“She’s not in her bed,” Linda replied, her body shaking as her eyes darted around the kitchen, desperately hoping they would fall on her granddaughter. “She’s not anywhere upstairs. I think she ran away.”
“Don’t be silly, love,” Jerry spoke softly, trying to keep a level head in the situation. “She wouldn’t have run away. Come on, let’s go and check her room together.”
“She’s not there, Jerry!” Linda half-shouted, shaking her shoulders free from her husband’s grasp and sinking down into one of the chairs. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t bear it. Riley meant the absolute world to her and Linda just couldn’t comprehend why the young girl would’ve run away. Sure, they’d had a disagreement the night before, but Riley knew better than to overreact to something like that. Panic and fear filled her body as Linda started to cry, a feeling of loss already overwhelming her as she mumbled into her hands. “She’s gone.”
“Stay here,” Jerry replied, darting out of the kitchen as quickly as he could manage and up the stairs to the back bedroom. Just as his wife had told him, the room was empty. The bed sheets were pulled back to reveal a pile of pillows fashioned into the shape of a sleeping body. A trick as old as time. Jerry remembered doing that when he was a boy in order to sneak out at night; now that same trick had fooled him. He’d looked in on Riley just minutes after Chase drove away, seeing the lump of pillows and believing that it
was his granddaughter. What an idiot he had been.
Walking over to the bed, Jerry noticed a scrap of paper sticking out from underneath one of the pillows. Reaching over, he tugged it out and found a crudely scribbled message on one side of it. Riley’s handwriting. Taking a deep breath, Jerry started to read.
I’m sorry. I’ve gone with Chase to the hardware store—not that he knows yet. I’m planning to hide in the back of the truck and not reveal myself until he’s too far away to turn back. Please don’t be mad at me. Chase needs my help and together we can make sure that we get everything we need and get back to fix the house up. I just want you to trust that I can do this. You both trust Chase, so please trust me as well. I love you both and we’ll be back soon—again, I’m sorry, but please trust me xxx
Jerry exhaled. He felt a mixture of relief and worry. Of anger and also pride. He knew where his granddaughter was—to an extent—and that was something, but he was still terrified for what might happen to her. Clutching the note in his hand and making his way back downstairs, Jerry knew the first thing he had to do was show his wife. At least Riley hadn’t run away. At least she was with Chase. Linda needed to know that and then they could start to worry about everything else.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Linda sighed, one hand pressed against her chest in an attempt to slow her beating heart while the other clasped Riley’s letter tightly. Although Linda was still incredibly overwhelmed after learning that Riley had deliberately disobeyed her and gone out with her brother, the immediate and overpowering feeling that she felt when reading the letter was one of relief.
Her granddaughter was safe. Relatively. She wasn’t out in the world by herself and she hadn’t stormed out of the house because she didn’t want to be there anymore. Linda remembered the time that both Brogan and Mia ran away from home because they weren’t allowed to go to a mutual friend’s birthday party—a boy-girl sleepover. Despite how angry she had been that they had both defied her and run away and how determined she was to punish them, all Linda could do when they finally returned home was wrap her arms around her children and hold them until she thought she might squeeze the air out of them. She had never been very good at playing the stern parent; her love was too powerful to remain mad at anyone for any length of time. Yes, she was stubborn—and that was probably where Riley got it from—but she would always sacrifice her stubbornness if it meant she could be with someone she loved.
