by E S Richards
“Try and lean over to one side,” she suggested, coming up with ideas that she thought might ease the strain on Jerry’s windpipe. She wasn’t really sure what was happening or which parts of his body were affected, but Linda was trying everything to bring her husband back to full health. “There you go,” she murmured, rubbing his back. “That’s better.”
Slowly, Jerry’s coughing fit began to subside, the old man able to right his body slightly and sit up a little bit. Linda helped him, moving a few cushions behind his back to support his body. Jerry had been taking an afternoon nap, his body already feeling weak and exhausted from the work he and Linda had been doing. They were now living entirely downstairs in the farmhouse, but it hadn’t been easy sorting it all out and making sure they were safe from the breeze that crept through the halls and down the stairs from Riley’s bedroom.
“Thank you,” Jerry managed to sputter, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth as he spoke. “That can’t be good,” he remarked, his hand covered in blood.
“Oh, darling.” Linda moved around and sat on the edge of the couch, looking at her husband lovingly. His coughing had sprung up on him while he slept, alerting Linda to what was happening from the kitchen where she was preparing dinner. The smell of burning vegetables carried to the front room from the kitchen now. She didn’t care. Her husband’s health was much more important than a perfect meal was.
“I’m sorry, Linda,” Jerry whispered, knowing that he was letting his wife down. He was practically useless to her now, one morning of work exhausting him more than a whole week used to back in the day. He couldn’t even take a nap without putting himself in danger apparently. The old man felt like his body was wasting away. “I’m okay now.”
“Oh, don’t apologize, you big fool,” Linda quipped back, her worries about Jerry far outweighing any other emotion she felt toward him. “I just want you to be okay.”
“I know,” Jerry replied. “I’m sorry that I’m not. I’m sorry that this is happening to me.”
“You can’t control that. It’s not your fault.”
“But I can still apologize for how it’s affecting things,” Jerry continued. “I can still take credit for being the one who is putting more strain on our already difficult situation.”
Linda sighed. She knew her husband wasn’t ever going to just lie back and let her take care of him. He wanted to fight up until his very last breath, and the fact that he couldn’t made Jerry feel like he was useless or worthless. She knew that was exactly how he was thinking and it pained her that she couldn’t make him see things another way. He wasn’t a burden to her in any way—Linda would rather suffer every day as long as she could see her husband’s face than live an easy life without him. He was the only thing that kept her going anymore, so she hated it when he blamed himself for what was happening.
“Okay, okay,” she reluctantly agreed, letting her husband win that small argument so that she saved him more aggravation in the long-term. Whatever Linda could do to make Jerry’s life easier now, she did it, even if her husband didn’t quite see what she was doing. “How does your chest feel?”
“Tight,” Jerry answered. “I feel like it’s difficult to breathe,” he paused, inhaling slowly with his right hand still on his chest. “And almost like I’m breathing in, but the air isn’t making it to my lungs or something.”
“Hmm,” Linda shook her head, worrying anxiously about her husband. “I don’t know what we can do.”
“I don’t think there’s anything,” Jerry sighed. “Not without seeking some proper medical advice. Which obviously isn’t possible,” he quickly added to the end of his sentence, not wanting his wife to get any ideas about going outside again.
“I know,” Linda remarked. “I just wish there was something I could do for you.”
“You do more than enough,” Jerry smiled, willing his wife to see how much he valued her already. “I’m feeling much better now. Why don’t you go and see if any of that dinner can be saved? I’ll come in a second.”
“All right,” Linda replied reluctantly, not wanting to leave her husband yet seeing that he needed a minute to himself to collect his thoughts. He was a proud man and she knew how much he hated it when she saw him like this. Jerry liked to believe that he was invincible—he had lived his whole life never showing any weakness, believing that to ask for help was a failure. It was difficult for him to act differently now. Even so, Linda knew he was at least trying. They had to be there for each other and understand each other’s needs. If Jerry wanted a minute to himself, Linda had to give that to him—despite how much it pained her. “Shout if you need me.”
“I will,” Jerry nodded, waiting for his wife to finally walk out of the room before he tried to reposition himself on the couch. Even the small movements caused him to experience chest pain. Breathing was difficult lying down, let alone moving about or trying to do anything strenuous. Jerry was turning into a massive couch potato and he hated it. Each day that passed only meant he got more frustrated at himself and he knew that it was upsetting Linda as well. Even if just for her, he knew he had to try and deal with things in a better way.
Pushing himself to his feet, Jerry paused as the blood rushed to his head. He squeezed his eyes closed and held on to the arm of the couch, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass. That was happening more often as well. Sudden bouts of lightheadedness or moments when he felt woozy and confused. Jerry wondered whether it was whatever sickness he’d contracted exacerbating his previously troublesome illness in some way, leaving his mind unable to cope with what was happening and therefore lapsing into forgetfulness more often. He hadn’t had an episode where he’d wandered off outside again yet, but he was getting increasingly forgetful about things—his mind losing itself mid-sentence or switching and going completely off topic at times.
“That still smells pretty good to me,” Jerry wheezed with a smile as he hobbled into the kitchen, collapsing into a chair beside the table. “Anything I can do to help?”
“No, it’s fine,” Linda shook her head, trying to hide the worry from her expression as she saw how much effort it had been for her husband to just walk from the front room to the kitchen. He was getting worse every day, her fear that soon he wouldn’t be able to leave their makeshift couch-bed in the front room almost realized. “The vegetables are a bit charred,” she smirked, “but we can make do.”
“Ah, I’m sorry,” Jerry apologized, knowing that it was his coughing fit that had caused the problem. “I can get some more if you want.”
“No, no,” Linda shook her head. “We should save the rest.”
Jerry gave his wife a knowing look. That was another reason why he felt even guiltier about the charred vegetables: they didn’t have a great deal of fresh food left. They were rationing the food like they’d always planned, sticking to the order and instructions that Riley had devised for the group of them, before she and Chase went missing. Still, the meals were small and bland. There wasn’t any meat left unless they wanted to resort to the chickens or cows—which neither Linda nor Jerry was desperate enough to do just yet—though they both knew it would happen sooner or later. There was hardly enough to keep the pair of them alive, let alone for feeding the animals. Jerry knew that within a week they would have to sacrifice the cows at least, something that he wasn’t looking forward to at all.
They both had fears about what would happen when the food finally did run out, though neither ever wanted to talk about it. When he was feeling really pessimistic, Jerry doubted whether he would even make it to that day—feeling like his days were limited for reasons other than the lack of food.
“Thank you,” he said graciously to his wife as she handed him a plate of charred vegetables and rice, seasoned well with dried paprika and saffron. “It does smell delicious, my love.”
“Well, let’s hope it tastes delicious too,” Linda replied with a smile. “Dig in.”
“Do you remember when we went to Columbia?” Jerry asked after
a few mouthfuls, reminiscing fondly about happier times with his wife. “We had that rice dish out there—what did they call it?”
“The chicken one?”
“Yeah,” Jerry nodded. “They had a name for it didn’t they?”
“Hmm, I’m not sure,” Linda thought. “Wasn’t it just ‘chicken and rice’ in Spanish?”
Jerry laughed. “Maybe you’re right.” He racked his brain for a second longer, still chuckling at his wife’s suggestion. “Anyway,” he gave up on the name, “this sort of reminds me of that.”
“I think you’re just being polite there.” Linda rolled her eyes at her husband. “But thank you.”
“Seriously,” Jerry smiled, “I’ll never not be amazed by what you can do in the kitchen. You really are wonderful.”
“Oh, stop it.”
“No,” Jerry quickly turned serious. “I mean it, Linda. You are wonderful. Incredible. You’re everything to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Linda felt her cheeks flushing slightly. Even after over sixty years of marriage, Jerry’s words still made her feel weak at the knees sometimes. “And you are to me,” she smiled, treasuring the moment even more than usual as she knew there might not be many of them left. “I love you with all my heart, Jerry Clarke.”
“And I you, Linda.” Jerry reached across the table and took his wife’s hand. “And I you.”
Staring into each other’s eyes for a moment, everything else seemed to fade away into the background for both Jerry and Linda. They were reminded of how much love they shared and the lifetime of memories they had together. No matter what happened next, both of them knew they would never lose that. They had lived a near-perfect life together and nothing could change that.
Jerry fought against the itch in his chest as he looked at his wife, memorizing every single aspect of her face. His eyes traced the wrinkles on her skin, her face just as beautiful to him then as it had been when he first met her. If there was anything that was worth fighting to stay alive for—it was her.
“I’ll never stop loving you,” Jerry whispered under his breath, the words just barely coming out before he broke down into another coughing fit, the grasp he had of his wife’s hand going weak and slipping from her palm. Linda was on her feet in an instant, moving around to the other side of the table and placing her hand on her husband’s back. She rubbed it tenderly as he coughed, willing the moment to be over so that he could regain control over himself again.
“Come on, Jerry,” she spoke in his ear. “You can’t let this beat you.”
She held on to her husband as his body shook, more blood flying out of his mouth and onto the table—landing on the vegetables they had previously been so concerned about. Linda didn’t even notice. She couldn’t think about anything aside from Jerry’s health. She saw how much pain he was in from the expression on his face and felt how much his body was struggling to keep fighting. He was weak. They both knew it. But he couldn’t give up yet. There was still so much they had to keep living for.
“You can do this, darling,” Linda spoke. “Keep fighting. Think of Mia. You need to be here when she gets back. And Chase and Riley too. We’re going to be a family again. Please, Jerry. Please don’t give up just yet.”
Jerry coughed and shuddered, looking up at his wife from beneath his eyelids. He could hear her words and he wanted to do as she said, he just wasn’t sure if his body would allow it. Gasping for breath, Jerry tried to hold on. He wouldn’t give in to the darkness just yet. It wasn’t his time. He had to keep fighting.
Chapter 14
Listening to Lois’s story, everyone was reminded of how devastating the eruption of Yellowstone had been. While it wasn’t hard to forget how the environment had been changed, as they traveled they had all pushed to the back of their minds the families and relationships that had been destroyed by it too. Especially as Patrick was no longer with them, it was easy to just not think about the people who had been lost—none of Mia, Jorge, Marcus, Jesse, or Jadon directly affected in that manner yet.
As Lois wept for the four men in her life who were all missing, Mia couldn’t help but worry about the fate of her parents and adopted children. For the first time since leaving Yellowstone, she dared to question whether they would be there waiting for her when she returned.
Lois’s situation was terrifying to think of. It went to show how easily families could be torn apart. The four men had apparently only been camping less than an hour’s drive from the house and yet Lois had seen no sign of them since they left. Mia wondered what could have possibly happened to them to vanish without a trace. She was certain they would’ve tried to make it home if they could, which only made the story more upsetting to hear.
“I still haven’t given up hope,” Lois sobbed. “I tell myself that they’re just hiding away somewhere. Unable to travel back here before it’s safe to do so. I know it’s foolish, but I just have to keep believing. I can’t think otherwise.”
“I know,” Mia nodded, allowing Lois to vent freely to her since everyone else had retired to bed for the night. She could tell that the woman needed it. She had no idea how difficult it must’ve been for her, especially with her daughter, Isabelle, still at home as well. The young girl was surely full of questions and Lois didn’t appear to have any answers. Mia understood that the woman just needed someone to listen to her. It didn’t matter if Mia couldn’t bring her family back—she just needed someone to hear her.
“Thank you,” Lois sniffed. “I’m sorry about earlier. You know, the ‘I have a gun’ thing at the door.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Mia shrugged. “I would’ve probably done the same in your position. I can understand how important it is to protect what you’ve got.”
“Where did you say your family is?” Lois asked. “Houston?”
“Yeah,” Mia nodded. “My parents and my niece and nephew—though they’re more than just that to me. They’re my kids.”
“When did you last see them?”
Mia thought for a second. “Too long ago—I was at Yellowstone for nearly two weeks before the eruption. I haven’t seen any of them since I left for that research trip.” Realizing how much time had truly passed, Mia found herself silenced for a minute. She missed her family so much and she knew how much their lives could’ve changed in that space of time. Meeting Lois and listening to her story was a reality check in a way for Mia. She knew she couldn’t waste any more time stopping in various towns or trying to help other people. She had to be selfish. She had to get home. And she couldn’t delay.
“Do you want to show me where they went?” Mia asked, receiving a slightly confused look in response from Lois as she realized she hadn’t really explained her statement very well. “Your family,” she continued. “I can see if there’s any sign of them tomorrow if you want. I plan to leave at first light.”
“Oh really?” Lois asked, immediately jumping up from her seat and grabbing a map from across the room. “That would be amazing. Thank you.”
“Of course,” Mia smiled. She just couldn’t help herself. Despite knowing she needed to get back to Houston quickly, Mia knew that if her route was taking her past where Lois’s family had been, then she couldn’t just drive past without looking for them. She didn’t know what she’d do if she did find them, but she knew she had to at least offer.
“They were here,” Lois pointed to a green area on the map. “That was where Danny told me they were planning on camping, at least.”
“Ah.” Mia picked up the map, looking at the area where Lois’s husband had chosen for the camping trip. It wasn’t really on the way to Houston at all. In fact, it would require a bit of a detour if she did actually want to go there to check it out. In a flash, two different thoughts ran through Mia’s head and she quickly tried to decide what type of person she truly was and what she should do.
“I’ll keep an eye out,” she said to Lois, aware that she couldn’t deliver any bad news to the woman now that she
had just gotten her hopes up. “If I see them, I’ll help.”
“Thank you so much,” Lois gushed, the woman almost physically sagging in relief.
Mia smiled and nodded, trying to keep the guilt she was feeling from her expression. She shouldn’t have suggested it in the first place. She knew she needed to be selfish now and it was cruel of her to give Lois false hope. The mother seemed to think that Mia was going to bring her family back for her. Mia dreaded to think how Lois would feel now, standing at the window every day waiting for her to return with her family.
Excusing herself, Mia went upstairs to bed to avoid any further discussion of what she’d just brought up. She kicked herself for it, hoping that there was some way she could do everything, knowing she couldn’t. Mia had to remind herself that it wasn’t her job to save everyone. As much as she would like to, she had to understand that there was little point in reuniting other families if she then returned home to an empty house. It went against her nature, but Mia was determined to change to survive. She vowed that they would leave immediately in the morning and speed across what remained of the country before reaching Houston. She didn’t want to be away for any more than a couple more days. It had already been too long—she needed to see her family again. As she drifted off to sleep that night, they were the overpowering thought that dominated her dreams.
“They what?”
“The government caused it. We found papers that prove it. They were drilling into the ground near Yellowstone and that created quakes under the ground, which effectively set off the volcano. And they knew it was going to happen. They could’ve warned us. They could’ve saved millions of lives.”
“I don’t understand. Why would the government want to cause all of this?”
