I smiled. “What. You mean all of us are still here?”
Carol, Teresa, and Kim dragged in. “I’m getting too old for these late-night-shindigs-get-up-early days,” Carol said. She was fifty-eight and the second oldest.
“I’m so glad all of you came,” I said. “I wish I could turn fifty all over again tonight.”
Ruby laughed. “Me too! You think that Mercedes was taking no for an answer? Out of all your girls, Sis. That’s your right hand. We sat up talking a long time last night. Keep her close. She needs you.”
Mercedes didn’t need anybody. Ruby wasn’t one to interfere but she was always there when I needed her. Frowning, I wondered what Mercedes told Ruby.
Ruby asked, “Why you acting like that man didn’t die in this house?”
Okay, I wondered what else Mercedes told Ruby.
Kim chimed in. “I wanna know did you get some dick from Billy last night?”
“Last night? You mean this morning, too,” Ruby said. “He just left.”
Shaking my head, I smiled. “Where are the fellas?”
“Where else,” Teresa said. She was a year younger than I. Her fiftieth was a year away.
“Uh-huh. Don’t try to count the bruhs out,” Kevin said. He was the baby boy. Forty-seven. Kim was the baby of us all. Forty-six.
Peter and Walter marched in. We stood around the island. Ruby stirred a large pot of grits. “Breakfast is ready. Everybody hold hands, let’s give thanks and y’all go sit at the table and wait for me to serve you.”
I hadn’t used my dining table for a gathering since Alexis got her master’s. I hadn’t seen nor heard from her since last night. I had a feeling that was the last I’d see of Billy. I wanted to let go of Ruby’s and Kevin’s hands, get in my car, and go to Spencer’s.
“Heavenly Father,” my oldest brother, Peter, said. “We thank You for family, our health, friends, and this food. Bless the preparer, the parents of the pig, and the pig.”
We laughed.
He continued, “Dear God, we ask that You watch over our sister, Blake. Be with her in those moments of silence when no one except You will hear her cries. If there should be any one of us in need of a special blessing, I ask that they receive it. When each of us depart to our destinations, I pray that we arrive safely, Heavenly Father. Thank you for allowing each of us to be alive and well. I pray for Your continued mercy and forgiveness for our sins, Dear Lord. In Jesus’s name we ask these things of You.”
Everybody said, “Amen.”
Walter, my brother who was a year younger than Peter, said in his Georgia accent, “Boi, you should’ve been a politician, instead of a doctor. You still long-winded. Now Ruby gotta reheat them grits.”
“You have a wonderful wife,” Kim said. “That’s why you don’t know that those grits are still hot as hell. Ask my ex-husband. He tried that mess like Fortune. The Crystals don’t play that.”
Okay, so everyone knew that Fortune had beaten me but no one said anything directly to me. Fine. I knew we still had that kind of one-for-all, all-for-one family. They knew Fortune was married. None of them condoned nor condemned my choice to be with him. And none of us cared that he was gone.
I said, “Don’t start none.” In unison everybody said, “Won’t be none.” That was one of our mother’s favorite sayings and the confirmation I needed to know they still had my back.
The youngest and oldest men sat at opposite heads of the table. One at a time, Ruby prepared our plates.
I thought, Thank You, Lord. If it were meant for Spencer and me to be together, we would. But in this very moment, I was thankful that blessings were all around me.
CHAPTER 50
Blake
Ruby stacked the dishwasher with plates, silverware, and glasses. Carol pitched in by hand-washing pots and pans. Truthfully, I was ready for them to get out.
Soon as my siblings left my house, I was in transit to Spencer’s house. I dialed him twice. Same old crap. One ring. Voice mail. Spencer could choose not to answer the door like he’d done with his phone but I’d followed a car into the complex. Waited on the fifth floor until a person finally exited the building.
I knocked twice on Spencer’s door, then waited. No answer.
Knock. Knock. My knuckles hit harder this time. No response.
“Spencer,” I called out, not caring whether or not his neighbors would hear me.
I heard the lock click. My heart pounded. When I saw him, I froze.
He stood before me. Dripping wet. A red towel tied at his waist, the imprint of his hanging manhood commanded my attention.
“I’m up here,” he said with a closed-lip smile. “You coming in?” Walking away, he left the door opened.
Slowly, I crossed the threshold where it had all begun. Ten days ago felt like an eternity.
“Lock my door please,” he said, sitting on his sofa.
I placed my purse on the blue bench.
Spencer propped his feet on the coffee table. He folded his arms across his bare chest.
I wanted him to hold me. There were words that needed to be spoken. Obviously, he wasn’t going to go first.
“I’ll start,” I said, sitting on the edge of the sofa.
“Rightfully so,” he said.
“Spencer, I love you.”
He smiled. Laughed once. His neck swayed back. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, really,” I said, sadly hoping he’d feel that I was sincere. “You mind if I stay here for a while?”
He frowned. “Stay as in live here until you sell your home or you mean visit for a while?”
“Visit.”
Spencer hunched his shoulders with folded arms. I tugged to pry them apart. He shrugged. “Don’t touch me, Blake. You have a strange way of showing love,” he told me, staring ahead. “Today’s not good. I really don’t want to see you. I have nothing to say to you. You need to leave. I have to go to work.”
Wow. I know I made a mistake but did I deserve this? I touched him. He pulled away.
“Look at me. Please, babe.”
His eyes shifted in my direction. I thought his closed-lip smile when he’d opened the door meant we were somewhat cool. He let me come in. Now he was stone cold. I shouldn’t have come yet I couldn’t go.
“What?” he said with an attitude. He shook his head, exhaled a puff of air. “I swear. I can’t stand the sight of you right now.”
If his intent was to make me feel like shit, he’d done that. “I apologize.”
“For what?”
Shaking my head, I kept quiet.
“What if I told you, ‘I fucked Alexis.’ How would you feel?”
Tears clung to my eyes. I wanted to slap him. “You wouldn’t do that to me.”
Spencer didn’t know Billy but what if I answered Spencer, “We’d be even,” and left it at that. The probability of Billy meeting Spencer was slim but if he was serious. Alexis. She was the flesh of my flesh.
His arms unfolded. His hands gestured toward me. He yelled, “How the fuck you think I feel? I never thought you’d do what the fuck you did! I asked your ass not to.” He shook his head.
I jumped. Moved away from him. Stood. Backed up. Calmly, I said, “Please don’t yell at me.”
“No, fuck you, Blake!”
“Spencer, please stop,” I begged.
“You show up at my place unannounced,” he said. I stared at the veins popping out in his neck. “Acting all cool and shit like nothing fucking happened. And you want me to . . . what the fuck you want from me? Dick?” He unwrapped his towel, then wrapped it back. Shook his head. “You will never get this dick again.”
I was more concerned about how nervous he made me when he yelled at me. I didn’t think he’d hit me after what he’d told me about his mom. I knew I should leave as he’d demanded but I had to be sure what he’d said was what he wanted. Leaving wasn’t what I wanted.
Shaking his head, he said, “What?! You think I’ma lay hands on you? Never that. Believe that. I as
ked you what you came here for?!” He stood. Opened then tucked the red towel tighter to his waist. Sat. Crossed his arms again.
Damn! He had to let me see the dick. That was on purpose.
“You’re telling the truth. I was trying to deny it but she was here.” I sniffed the air. “Yep, I smell Alexis’s perfume,” I said. “I see her glitter on your sofa.” I looked at my hands. There were a few specks on my fingers.
Silence divided us. Spencer didn’t confirm nor deny. I wanted him to tell me he didn’t fuck my daughter. Even if it were a lie I needed to believe he’d never do that to me. To us.
I walked into his bedroom. The fitted sheet near the headboard was wet. The flat sheet on the floor sparkled. I picked it up; tossed it onto the bed. A gold thong fell out. The dress she’d worn to my house yesterday was ripped and on the floor. I picked up the thong, stormed into the living room. I hurled it in his face. It fell to his lap. He placed it beside his thigh.
Calmly, he said, “Get out of my house,” without moving.
“You did fuck her! You bastard! You fucked my daughter! How could you do that to me!” Standing directly in front of him on the other side of the coffee table, I started crying. He scanned me from head to toe. For the first time, I wished I’d changed into something sexier before I’d rushed over here. I must’ve looked a hot mess. That was how I felt.
Earlier I was surrounded by people who loved me. This, I didn’t know what this was. But I knew what it wasn’t.
He pressed his lips together, and his eyes glazed over with tears that didn’t fall down his cheeks. He curled his fingers into a fist, pressed his thumb to his mouth. Pointing at me, he said, “You have a lot of nerve.”
I was not going to be outsmarted by a guy who was young enough to be my son. “What do you want to do?” I asked him. “You want to call it quits. You want me to leave?”
He nodded. “Yes, I want you to leave.”
“I want to hear you tell me we’re done and you’ll never have to say it again.” I stood still. He didn’t move. I sat beside him. He stood. He opened his door.
Drying my tears, I had to take this one like the grown woman I was. I picked up the thong, put it in my purse. I walked toward him.
“I love you, Spencer.”
He leaned over, passionately kissed me. We held each other. Our tongues traded places. I cried. He gently pushed me to the other side of the threshold.
“I’m gonna miss you, Blake. Take care of yourself.”
Slowly, I shook my head in disbelief as Spencer closed his door. No one could hear me screaming, I hate you! inside my head but in my heart, I loved him.
It was time for me to have a woman-to-woman talk with my daughter. Instead of exiting in the direction of my car, I went directly to Alexis’s apartment.
CHAPTER 51
Alexis
Bam! Bam! Bam!
“What the hell?!” I opened my eyes, checked the time on my phone. “Damn. One o’clock in the day?” I couldn’t believe it. I stared at my cell. Shit! I’d overslept.
LB was buried under my sheets like a Chihuahua.
Three missed calls from Domino. I hoped he hadn’t shown up at my door unannounced to talk about last night. What was done was done.
I had zero respect for LB though. Any guy who would knowingly feast behind his boy was stupid. He couldn’t possibly believe he’d gotten my pussy that wet that fast. The person at my door definitely wasn’t Chanel or James. They’d never have shown up without permission.
Returning Spencer’s call, I put my cell on speaker.
Spencer answered, “Hey, Alexis.”
I asked him, “What’s up, Domino?”
“Your—”
Bam! Bam! Bam!
I interrupted him. “Hold on a sec.”
Uncovering his head, LB leaned close to my phone, then asked, “You want me to get that, sweetheart?” Then he puckered his lips toward mine.
What?! That was a bitch move by LB. I shoved his face away with my hand. He didn’t realize neither Domino nor I gave a damn about his being at my house.
Firmly I told LB, “Do not touch my doorknob. What you need to do is get dressed. We have to get to the bank before they close at four.”
LB was not supposed to be here and I’d missed class. We were supposed to hook back up later. But it was my call, I’d let him stay, so I had to be cool with it. By the end of this day, I was going to make him wish he’d never met me. LB was taking me to his bank, keeping his word to drop a grand on me, then he didn’t know it but he was taking me shopping. He was going to carry my bags. Staring at him, I wanted to strap on and fuck the shit out of him and not in a sensual way. I was pretty sure I’d told him to leave my house at some point.
He frowned. Stared at my cell. “You don’t need me with you to deposit your check.”
“No, bitch. I need you with me to cash it.” What if his check wasn’t negotiable? The thought of what I’d done to the last guy who tried to play me surfaced.
Ma, I swear I left the money on your nightstand. Maybe I left it in the bathroom. I’m not sure. Maybe you move it.
A man who offered three or more explanations for one situation was lying. My misplacing fifteen hundred dollars in my house never had and never will happen. The cash was on my nightstand when we got in my bed. I noticed it was gone after he’d left. That meant, he’d pocketed it. Once he’d gotten what he came for, he tried to play me for a fool. No one uses Alexis Crystal.
The next day I’d dressed super provocative. Put on the highest spiked heels I had, my red power suit, strapped my piece to my thigh underneath my skirt, went inside his corporate building, bypassed his secretary, entered his office, then locked his door. There was no gratuitous pussy or dick-sucking in store for him. I came out with three grand, cash.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
LB got out of bed, put on his clothes, then headed downstairs.
Damn. Whoever it was they were determined. Better not be that bitch Charlotte. I went downstairs naked.
“You can’t open the door like that,” LB said, staring at me.
It could be a number of pissed-off lovers. Next time I moved, I’d make sure the building had real security. I peeped through the hole. What did she want? I opened the door.
She stormed in. Looked at LB. “So you’re fucking both of them?” she asked.
Pretty much. What was it to her? My pussy wasn’t hers.
“No, ma’am,” LB answered.
I shook my head. This guy here was the worst.
“I’m not talking to you,” my mom said to him, then rolled her eyes at me.
I laughed at her. “Seriously, Mother. You left your house in jeans and a tee. You look a hot mess. You’re never going to keep a younger man if you don’t get yourself together.”
“Copy,” LB said.
Exhaling, nonchalantly I asked, “What’s up, Mom.” She had no idea how done I was with the Spencer situation. I was the one who told her not to have sex with Spencer.
Her comment didn’t get a reaction from me but it made LB swell. “Is that true? You did Spence?”
“Don’t mind her,” I said, making my way to my refrigerator. “Mom, you want something to drink? LB?”
“I’m good. I’ll get out of y’all way,” he said, trotting upstairs.
He didn’t have anything to get upstairs. I followed him. He handed me a robe. “Don’t you think you should put something on?”
“Thanks. I’ll catch up to you later. Don’t disappear,” I told him. I grabbed the nape of his neck, kissed him hard, then pushed him away. Heading back down the steps, this time he followed me.
Standing in my kitchen, I looked at my mom sitting on my sofa and said, “What’s up, Blake?”
I hadn’t called my mom by her name in a long time. Her hair was slicked back the way it was on her birthday, except not as neat. No lipstick or lashes. It was obvious she was in a hurry to get to Spencer’s. The way my mom looked right now, stressed and no makeup, I’d gi
ve her fifty-four easily.
“Call me Blake again.”
This wasn’t about what I’d called her. I was tired of being respectful to her when she’d disregarded my wishes to know my father.
“Blake. You’re not bold enough to do to me what Fortune did to you.”
“I’ma let myself out,” LB said.
“Yes, do that,” my mother said.
“Don’t hold on to that check too long,” LB said, closing my door.
My mother didn’t wait for me to sit beside her. She met me in front of the stove. I had a flashback of Spencer hitting this Good Good in his kitchen.
I folded my arms, sighed heavily. She came to my house. If she didn’t say something soon, I was going upstairs to take a shower.
“Did you fuck Spencer? Yes or no?”
Matching her obnoxious tone, I asked, “Who’s my daddy? You know where he’s at? Yes or no? I’m serious. You tell me the truth. I’ll do the same.”
Her game was straight old-school. If my mom had tried this approach on an ATL female, she’d be in the emergency room at Grady’s. I swallowed a mouthful of juice, walked around her, sat on my sofa, turned on the television for a welcome distraction. Even if she told me, I’d never tell her what happened between Spencer and me.
She sat on the edge of my couch, turned toward me. “So you want to play games. So this is why you’re upset with me? You want to know where to find your dad?” Digging in her purse, she threw my gold thong in my face. “You left something at Spencer’s last night.”
It fell in my lap. “Yeah, I’m sure they only made one of these. Good lookin’ out.” Glad I’d gotten one of my favorites back, I set it aside. Started flipping through channels. “You act like because you don’t want to tell me, I don’t have the right to know. It’s your fault I’m this way. If you’re not going to tell me who my father is, just leave, Mom.”
My mom sighed, moved closer to me. She placed my head on her shoulder. I stayed there. I loved my mom. I’d never tell her the details of what had transpired with Domino.
“Baby, I know I didn’t make the best decisions. Your dad was married when I conceived you. His wife was pregnant. Everything was good until I told him I was pregnant too. He swore I did it on purpose. Then he told me you weren’t his and to never contact him again. Later he agreed to a paternity test to prove he was right. He was wrong. So I’m sure who he is. I don’t know where he’s at.”
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