by Mia Kayla
He had moved to Bowlesville from Seattle. His wife had died two years earlier, so he’d taken his retirement money and bought Elk Diner, a local hangout my mother had been working at for years. He’d courted her for months and, after a bit, she’d finally let up and given him a chance.
I knew when I took my job in Manhattan that she wouldn’t be coming. She and Hank had been slowly getting serious, and I was ecstatic for her. But I still couldn’t hide the disappointment that someone else was creeping into our space. Still, I needed her happy.
“Tell me, how’s work?” Mama’s sweet tone oozed into the receiver. “I only have fifteen minutes to catch up before I have to get back to work.”
“Mama, don’t play,” I teased. “You’re boom-booming the boss. Don’t try to pretend you work there.”
“Kendy!” she exclaimed. I could picture her cheeks flushed pink, almost as red as the apron she always wore at the diner.
“Just kidding, Mama.” Even though it was funny, teasing her about screwing her boss made me shift with unease on my bed.
It was weird thinking she was doing it when she hadn’t done it since Dad had left. At least, not that I knew of. Hank probably had to dust off the cobwebs up in there.
I shook my head at the visual. “Work is fine. My apartment is fine. I met a doctor who’s more than fine, fine, fine,” I cooed as a small smile crept up my face.
The only time I mentioned a man’s name to my mama was when it was serious. And to me, getting Dr. Hot Pants’ attention was serious.
“Kendall Lynn Miller, you better be working, and not working that doctor you got your sights on. You can get in trouble and lose your job over that.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and twirled a blonde lock around my finger. “Mama, there are no rules that say I cannot date any doctors.”
“You and your boy toys,” she chided with a motherly sigh. “Do you know there are still young men calling here asking about you?”
My eyebrows shot to the ceiling. “Who?” Everyone I had dated usually called my cell phone. “Who?” I asked again. I was beginning to sound like an owl. Who, who, who . . .
“Kyle and Brad Barsell. Did you date those brothers?”
“Nope. Only Brad. Though Kyle was truly trying to get what Bradley was getting.”
“Kendy!” she exclaimed again.
I chuckled. I enjoyed making my mama squirm.
“Mama, tell those boys I’m never coming back to Bowlesville. You’ll crush their hearts,” I smiled big, knowing my mama was rolling her eyes at the drama in my voice, “but it’s better than them hoping and dreaming for something that’ll never be.”
“Go back to work, Kendy,” she chided with a light laugh, “or whatever you’re doing tonight.”
“Okay, Mama.” I laughed along with her, missing her so much it was almost hard to breathe. “I love you like a love song.”
“I know, dear,” she said warmly. “You, too.”
“Kisses and hugs to Hankie Pankie.” I smiled, pressing end on the phone. Man, how I missed my mama bear.
I released a heavy sigh, feeling lonely all of a sudden as I glanced at the picture on my nightstand again. I really needed a dose of my mama soon. I’d have to check my calendar at work. I needed to see her, even if it was just for the weekend.
There was nothing left for me in Bowlesville except my mama. I wished I could bring her to New York with me. I could’ve shipped her in a box and written on the packaging ‘handle with care’.
But I knew she’d never leave.
Deciding I couldn’t wallow all afternoon, I got up and reached for my phone again, this time sexting my new best friend—Brian.
Me: Hola! Did your dick fall off from last night? Want to do a late lunch?
I didn’t have to wait even a second before his answer pinged right back.
Brian: Sure. Where at? What time?
Me: Clyde Diner at 2?
Brian: See you there.
Me: Sweet.
Brian: And Kendy? My dick is still on.
Me: Oh boy!
I got all giddy at the thought of seeing him again, and I replaced his name in my phone with ‘Booty Call’. But when I pressed save, a sinking sensation spread in the pit of my belly. I blinked at the phone as a heaviness knotted my insides. What was wrong with me?
FTF, I had to remind myself. That was all I could do. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was even possible.
I rubbed at my brow, thinking of every relationship I’d been in post-Cole. Every one of them had failed and ended quickly, not lasting more than a month. And I wondered if Cole had ruined me for eternity.
No. You can’t think like that.
Taking a breath, I shook off the hopelessness and thought about the psychic and her predictions about Dr. Klein.
Right. Him. Keep your sights set on him. He’s the one.
But then I thought of a certain pair of blue eyes, and my stomach churned. I could only hope we could still keep our friendship intact. Either way, I needed to set expectations with Brian today.
Pushing off my couch, I went to get ready for lunch. Once we had ‘the talk’, everything would be okay. I was sure of it.
TEN
BRIAN
Kendy strolled in, her sunglasses on top of her head and looking cute as hell in a short summery dress. When her smile widened, I let out a breath of relief. I didn’t want it to be weird between us. Sometimes things could be awkward after sex.
When she tiptoed and pulled at my neck in a full-on bear hug, I knew it wouldn’t be. “Hiya,” she cooed, sitting down in front of me. “Did you order yet?” She placed her purse on the table by our water glasses, adjusting her sunglasses on top of her head.
“No, I was waiting for you.” I took note of the way the pink spread across her face from the heat outside.
She reached for the tall glass of ice water and gulped it down in an unladylike fashion, as though she hadn’t drank in weeks. “What you should’ve done was order for the both of us or texted me the menu.” She placed the glass back on the table and started to fan herself with her hands. “Is it me, or is it hot in here?”
She bunched her hair on the top of her head, and my eyes flew to her slender neck, remembering the tender spot I’d nipped, right above her collarbone.
“Seriously, I swear I feel like I have menopause with all these hot flashes.” With her free hand, she fanned herself, attempting to cool herself down.
“You’re twenty-four. You’ve got a long way before menopause,” I chuckled, picking up my glass of water to take a drink.
“Maybe I’m pregnant then.”
I coughed, choked on my water, and tried to compose myself as Kendy laughed in front of me.
“I’m kidding. So kidding.” She covered her mouth to tame her laughter. “There’s no way. I always use double protection.”
I picked up my napkin to wipe up the water, which had trailed from my mouth down to my shirt. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“I’m for real, though. It’s super hot in here.” She eyed my glass of water and I nodded, letting her know she could have a drink. Then she gulped it down, faster than the first one, and slammed the glass on the table. “Okay, let’s order, quick, before I have to pee.” Her eyebrows pulled together as she studied the menu. She bit her pinky nail, a habit I noticed when she was thinking deeply.
When she peered up from her menu, she quirked an eyebrow. “Do you already know what you want?”
“Yeah. Chicken sandwich,” I replied, entertained by her unladylike demeanor.
Her cheeks returned to their normal color as the flush from earlier left her face. “You know what? That sounds great.” She stood and squeezed her hands in front of her stomach as she started to bounce on her toes. “Order two. I really have to pee. When I come back, we need to talk.”
I shook my head, amused because she reminded me of a kindergartener, unable to hold her bladder. I watched her retreating back as she sprint
ed to the bathroom as people moved to the side.
Make way, people, I thought. Kendy’s gotta go potty.
***
KENDY
I stuffed a big bite of the chicken sandwich into my mouth, lessening the hunger pang in my stomach. I was starving. It was two-thirty in the afternoon, and this was my first meal of the day. The savory chicken had the right amount of spice, which had my belly singing its praises.
“So . . . what do you want to talk about?” He placed his sandwich on his plate and reached for his glass.
“Just about, you know . . . about us and last night.” I shied away as warmth spread from the apple of my cheeks to the tips of my ears. I took in his face, knowing we knew each other on a different level now. Nothing should be embarrassing anymore. We’d seen each other buck-naked. But I still had no idea how to start this conversation, so I used humor to cover up my unease in typical Kendy-like fashion. “We need to talk about last night and the power. Did you feel the power?”
Brian spat out his drink again, throwing his head back in a huge belly laugh. “Jeez, Kendy. Give a guy a warning.”
I batted my eyes at him. “You never answered my question.”
He leaned in, a seductive smile creeping up his face. “Yes, you’ve got the power, and I want a repeat sometime.”
His lusty look made my whole body tingle. I bit my lip, trying to understand this reaction. Yes, I was most definitely aroused, but there was something more that I couldn’t place. I shoved down the feeling and forged forward.
When I touched his forearm, once again I felt a zap of electricity zinging between us. “You’ll feel it, all right,” I said, my seductive tone matching his.
My bare back hit the cold chrome seat as I rested against it. I needed some air, some space between us if this talk was going to turn serious. “First, though, we’ll need to discuss some rules, expectations.” I waved my hand in the air like it was no big deal. “We’re just doing this for fun, right?” I wanted to know we were on the same page and he had no issues with our arrangement.
He tilted his head, thinking about it for a second, which made me nervous. Then he said, “Sure, no worries.” Though, his eyes were tight. “I’m too occupied with work to think of anything else.”
I must’ve had a distressed look on my face because he placed his hand on top of mine on the table, his thumb caressing my fist. “Don’t worry. I know you’re set on Stiff.” I sensed a tinge of bitterness in his tone, and I suddenly felt like the biggest hoochie.
What woman had her sights set on a guy she was going to marry, all the while making arrangements to sleep around with her friend?
But as soon as I asked myself the question, the little devil shoved that little angel off my shoulder and said, A strong woman who doesn’t take shit, who knows what she wants and how to get it. If you’re up front with Brian, why can’t you have your cake and eat it, too? Guys do it all the time.
The little devil was right. Why the hell not?
Still, it made me a bit uneasy. I’d feel better if he was all in and totally okay, not just saying it to make me feel better.
His eyebrows pulled together, giving me an inkling that he was having doubts.
“Does it make you feel uncomfortable?” I asked. “That I have my sights set on Dr. Klein?”
“No. Not at all.” He gave me a small smile as he paused to examine me. “I just don’t get it, Kendy. You’re beautiful and smart, and that guy seems like a total dick. I guarantee you he’s not settling down anytime soon.”
So he was worried about me? The doubt I sensed earlier was caused by his concern for me, and my insides swooned at his thoughtfulness.
And he just called me beautiful. I didn’t realize I was smiling so big until my cheeks started hurting.
Dimming that smile, I told him, “I’m attracted to him.” It wasn’t a good enough answer. “And . . .” I paused, ready for him to laugh again. “It’s what that psychic predicted.” The truth was, I’d been holding onto this prediction for years, my last string of hope that I could move on from what Cole had done to me, a hope for ending my tormented past.
I reached for the saltshaker and stared at the minuscule particles. My voice dropped an octave. “You have to know what I’ve been through to understand.” I winced, the desperation I was so familiar with emerging.
Brian put his hand on mine, but I pulled it back. I didn’t need consoling; I needed to move on. I had this bitter taste in my mouth, all because the psychic’s last prediction had had everything to do with Cole.
“It’s her last prediction. And it has to come true.” I let out a heavy sigh, forcing myself to see the speck of light at the end of the tunnel.
Brian broke me from my morbid thoughts and threw a twenty on the table. I hadn’t even realized the waiter had dropped off the check. Again, thoughts of my past were keeping me from being in the present.
“You ready?” he asked, standing. “Want to take a walk through Central Park?”
He held out his hand and, after a beat, I stood and placed my hand in his as the familiar warmth from earlier spread through me.
“Sure.” I smiled. “Let’s go.”
***
BRIAN
As much as I hated that she was still going after that prick, who didn’t deserve her, I needed to erase the desolate look from her face. I sensed something deeper going on with her obsession with this damn psychic, but I wouldn’t press her.
Central Park bustled with people enjoying the sunny summer day. Parents were pushing strollers, and a group of girls were rollerblading around us. As we walked, Kendy’s gaze wandered to the people passing us by.
“You know the great thing about this country?” she said. “We get to walk around freely, do what we want. We have free will to choose, not like some countries that live under a dictatorship.”
Odd topic choice.
She stopped and moved to the side as joggers passed us. I expected her to make some comment or joke about the shirtless guys, but she just stared blankly in front of us. “When your free will is taken away, that’s when all hope is gone.”
I frowned at her, my muscles tensing. What was she getting at? And why did it sound like she was speaking from experience?
I wondered where this conversation was headed, but I kept quiet, because she still had that look in her eye. The spark, the light I was usually accustomed to seeing in Kendy’s eyes was replaced by a desolate look of utter despair.
She turned to me and such hopelessness passed over her face. “What if that one person, the person you loved the most, who you thought would never, ever do you wrong, took away your free will . . . and suddenly you felt helpless?” Her eyes broke, and all of me wanted to cross that invisible line and ask her who the hell had hurt her so I could rip their limbs apart.
The next moment, she gripped the front of my shirt, surprising me. “Kiss me. Hard. I need to forget.”
I hesitated as warning signals rang off loudly in my head. But looking into her eyes, somehow I knew this was what she needed. So I leaned down to meet her lips, even though I knew this girl was not entirely whole. I was starting to see it more clearly. Behind the façade of a confident woman was a vulnerable girl, utterly broken.
And I was determined to know why.
***
KENDY
Our lips crashed together, our teeth clashing with the impact. I didn’t care that we were in the middle of the busiest park in the nation. I pushed through any thoughts of Cole to feel the warmth of Brian’s tongue against mine. I needed to drown in him, feel numb again, and dull the feeling that was bubbling up in my chest. The feeling that always haunted me whenever I thought of Cole.
“Harder,” I moaned into his mouth. Despair began to strangle and suffocate me, making it difficult to breathe. I struggled to drive down old memories, to forget. I needed to clear my mind, to feel emptiness and pure sensation.
I bit on his lip, because he wasn’t giving it to me rough enough, and I w
as rewarded with a low moan. Still, all I saw and heard was Cole. His voice rang loudly in my ears. His stocky frame and face clouded my head. His anger was so real, even though it had happened years ago.
My body trembled, tears threatening to break free. “More,” I begged through muffled kisses, wanting to drown the past that haunted me. I needed to push past this overwhelming all-consuming anguish.
Finally, he bent me back, and I felt his hardness through the thin material of my dress.
“We have to get out of here,” I said breathlessly.
He cupped the side of my face, his thumb lightly grazing my cheek. A look of concern passed over his face, softening his features. He was about to say no; I could tell.
But before he had a chance, I pressed my body against his. “Let’s go,” I breathed. “Where?”
Finally, an intense look of desire replaced the concern. “Your place,” he panted.
“Yeah.” I tugged on his hand and led us quickly out of the park.
***
BRIAN
Shit. I swear I just experienced my first heart attack.
I collapsed on the bed, Kendy’s beautiful body splayed on top of me.
“Oh, God,” she laughed as she buried her face in my chest. “That was intense.”
I was still lodged inside her, but I could barely move, let alone breathe. I couldn’t formulate words. I just needed a moment to collect myself, for my pulse to return to a normal rhythm.
As my eyes raked in her face, the blue in her irises caught the sun coming in through the window. Damn, she was breathtakingly beautiful and flushed pink from our passion.
Resting her head on her hand, she said, “I broke it, didn’t I? Your dick.”
“Maybe.” I laughed. I wondered if I would ever get tired of looking at her. She had sex hair, and it was the hottest thing.
Her chest rose and fell as she giggled, a sound that radiated throughout the room, a sound I was becoming addicted to. “It’s because I rode it like an amusement ride.”
“You sure did,” I said, and even though her words had been funny, I softened and ran a hand through her hair. Our eyes locked and my smile faltered. I couldn’t get what she’d said earlier out of my head.
