by Kerri Carr
"I feel things for you. But I am so young, I do not know how to describe them."
He shifted, so that I turned to face him and he held me at the small of my back.
"Try."
I took a shaky breath.
"I miss you when you are away. Even if only last night. And... I liked waking up with you now. But I do not know about the future."
"Aye dear, no one does." His gray eyes shined.
I leaned forward and kissed him softly. When I kissed him, I felt like nothing else was there. I knew it was one of the feelings I could not describe. And when he only held me, I felt so safe.
I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart. He brushed against my skin softly. I realized my body was not doing anything but enjoying his touch. I knew our emotions were more connected than they were with Allen. With his it was all mad pleasure.
"How do you know of these feelings?" He shrugged.
"I just know."
I looked up at him. His smile was calming. He was such a beautiful man, I wondered how I got lucky enough to stumble across him.
"How will I know?" He smiled softly.
"In time."
"And what will I do until then?" He smiled wider.
"I can just show you."
I planned to ask him what that meant but he just showed me. He kissed me furiously, he squeezed my flesh in his hands. He turned me over and had me on my knees, until the headboard threatened to fall from the bed. Until my legs quaked. And then again, with me straddling him on the bed. My body was so bare to him, but it did not defer me from enjoying it. He looked at my body like it was a lost work of art, a relic to be treasured.
"Please, I am not tired."
He lay next to me, holding my body. Then he rolled us over so that I was beneath him. He held my thigh and buried himself inside of me. I held him very close to me, and then he would pull away to watch himself disappear inside of me. Until we both found our release. Then I was tired.
"I can never tire of you."
*****
It became sort of a routine. I made sure to tend to my farm, but they often sent one of the men in my place. They plowed the land better than me anyway. Most of the people within the castle knew my name, and greeted me often. But there were still a few, who were all women that did not give me very nice looks. I did my best to ignore them, and Carson often assured me not to pay them any mind. In the coming days I learned he was a very sweet man. His story is almost too sad for me. His family, and everyone in his village died and Allen’s family rescued him. He often thought that he did not belong, and that he was not in their family. I assured him as much as I could, but I have just not been around enough to really offer him good advice.
He was also very caring. Always made sure I had what I needed, and did not want for anything. I begged him not to buy me things though, I did not want him to think I was after that from either of them. So he would make me things instead. He carved me small wood dolls that I decorated my house with, and a bun oven for my bread. It had only been three weeks. Three weeks of Allen and Carson driving my body places I never thought it would go, and waking up next to Carson. They never made me feel like I was dirty or a common woman. Carson was never jealous, it was just what he liked to do. I would be perfectly fine without our arrangement, but I started to see that I would not be fine without Carson.
“I want to take you somewhere.” Carson interrupted my bath.
“You always want to take me somewhere.” I sat in the tub, but did not hide my body from him. There was almost nothing I hid from him.
“Aye, get ready.” He gave me a quick kiss, well it would have been but I held his face to mine and kissed him longer. He left me with a chuckle.
I got dressed in a simple blue dress and let my hair fall free. He liked it when I wore my hair down.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked him. He laughed but did not answer; instead he threw me over his shoulder and ran out to the stables.
I squealed with laughter as he carried me away. He set me atop a horse but walked next to me, he still stood tall next to me.
“The sky is so clear today.” I said, leaning back to see the sky.
“Aye, that means it is to rain soon.”
I looked at him in confusion.
“I thought that was when the clouds were out.”
“Nay. The sky is clear like this, just before it cracks,” he explained.
There was a look in his eye, one that had been there since the morning. I think something is on his mind, but I did not know how to ask.
“I had no idea.” He smiled and squeezed my hand.
We went on the trail a little farther and then he stepped. He lifted me off the horse and set me down.
“I want to show you this, and I have to tell you something.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He turned me round and pointed to the tree. The stump had been cut, and on it he had carved my name. It was only my name, but he made it look so beautiful and… I did not even know what to say about it.
“Carson… you did this?”
“Aye, with a sharpened piece of wood.”
“Thank you. It is like I am…”
“Permanently here?”
I turned to face him.
“Yes, exactly.”
He looked down at me and smiled. “You will always be with me.” His voice was stern, but it seemed like more of a question, like he was unsure.
“Something troubles you. I feel it.” He nodded.
“Aye. There is something I must tell you.”
“Okay. What is it?” I touched his face gingerly. He pressed my palm to his face and took my hand to kiss me.
“I have to… first I must ask you something.”
My heart fluttered. I was not sure what was troubling him, and it made me uneasy to know he did not feel right about something.
“I do want you here, permanently. But I know how much you love your land. I could not take you away from that. But I love you and I must ask, I must know.”
Nothing registered to me except the fact that he said he loves me. He said those real words. Everything else flew right by me.
“What… what do you want to ask me?” I whispered.
His steel gray eyes bored into mine. I was so afraid of what he would say.
“I want to wed ye, Fiona.”
*****
Time seemed to freeze. There was just us. Nothing else, no group of people ready to judge me. Nothing. Just his flesh against mine. I had not been able to tell him how I felt yet. I just wanted to be sure.
“You do?” I finally found my words.
“Yes. Very much. But you must know something else first.” I furrowed my brow.
“Carson, your brooding frightens me.”
He sighed.
“I do not want to frighten you. But I… my brother and I have to leave. To war.”
I gasped. Of course, how could I forget that they are warriors? I suppose I never expected there to be a war.
“A war?”
He nodded. “Aye. The Laird was not smart in his trade, he got into an ill disagreement with another clan. It is too bad to settle without a fight. My brother and I are clan leaders. We must fight.”
I could hardly digest it. He is going off to war, to fight, he could…he could die.
“I understand that you must go.”
“Thank you but…will you be here? Will you wait for me?”
I looked up into his eyes. I knew in my heart that I would be here, but I could not say the words for some reason. I suppose it was because the words would make it too real.
“I will be.” I answered fully and truthfully.
He smiled to himself and held me closer. He pulled me into a hug and I felt his warmth protect me. His arms held me closer, his heart beat in my ear. I could not let him go. Not ever.
“I will marry you.”
“Aye?” He held me back and looked into my eyes. I was not Scottish, but
I amused him.
“Aye.”
His smile then could light up the darkest of worlds. His kiss could bring me to life if I were dead. I had to have him then. We were naked in seconds, not caring if anyone would see us. He sat me on his lap as I rode his cock, fast and slow and everything in between until we were releasing ourselves over and over.
When he had me on the floor it almost seemed sad, like we were saying goodbye. I had to trust that he would return. That the war would not take him from me. When we finally satiated ourselves he wrapped me in a quilt and held me close. I inhaled his scent, familiarizing myself with his scent over and over. And then my eyes were moistening with tears at the thought of even being away from him.
“Fiona, why do you cry?” He cupped my cheek and tilted my face up to look at him.
“I will miss you. Because I love you. I should have told you sooner. Now it is too late. It means nothing.” I buried my face in his chest so he would not see my tears and I could stifle my sobs.
“It means everything, and it is not too late. I will return. And we will be married.”
*****
I had not been this sad since my parents passed and my brother first left the house. But the sadness was rawer, and seemed to be deep in my chest. Right where my heart is. There was nothing I could do to make it better except let the time pass.
Some women at the keep were kind to me, they had men in the war as well so they understood. I visited my land often, but Carson insisted I were here permanently. Of course I hoped Allen would be all right, too. They are brothers and should not lose each other.
He had not been with me since Carson asked for my hand in marriage. We had only seven days together after that day in the woods before the horses were mounted, carriages were loaded and the warriors were off to war. Their mother finally introduced herself to me, I expected her to be mean but she was not.
She complimented my hair, and told me I had great natural beauty. She told me I would bare beautiful children one day and I could not help but smile at the thought of Carson and I having a child. I was not with child, but I wanted to be very much. It did not make sense to me; that his seed would be inside me so many times but no baby had come. Perhaps we were to be married first, and it would happen. I hoped for it.
He was gone for more than a month. I stopped crying eventually, I spoke to the clan more often and dined with them. It did not make me miss him less. Every time the messenger had word I was afraid of the words, but they never came. Then one day it was not just the messenger.
Fifteen months later my Carson returned to me. He looked the same, but ridden by war. I collapsed into his arms, and he still had the strength to carry me away to our chambers. He held me all night as I cried and cried, and kissed him over and over to make sure he was really there. When I could stop crying and he regained his strength, we consummated his return properly.
He wanted the wedding arrangements quickly. So the maids got started, and his mother made me my dress herself. I wished my own mother could be here.
“I have a gift for ye,” Carson told me the night before we were to wed.
“A gift? Is it not too soon?” He smiled and shook his head.
“Nay. Come.”
He led me outside, and I looked off into the foggy distance. There emerged a figure, but I knew not who it was before he spoke.
“Fiona!”
My brother.
“Klaud! Oh I have missed you!”
He hugged me very tightly and swung me around like when we were children. My brother at my wedding, giving me away to my husband was the best gift I had ever gotten from anyone.
Carson was so very kind and loving, tender and rough, and everything in between. And he was mine.
THE END
Another bonus story is on the next page.
Bonus Story 6 of 44
A Taste of Her Pie
Description
When Roz left Pagosa Springs eight years ago and headed to the big city, she never thought she would be back. But now after a divorce, she’s returned home to lick her wounds. She found out the big city wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. With her confectionary store next to the fire station, the sexy “newcomer” finds herself being hit on by the town’s most eligible bachelors. But two men, firefighters and brothers stood out. It is Roz’s new attitude that has her consenting when she is caught between the two brothers who are determined to have her. Then Roz’s ex, the man she’s never truly forgotten, returns to town.
Will her hook-up with the brothers further create a rift between them? Or will they finally be able to let bygones be bygones and rekindle a passion that has never died?
*****
I blinked back the tears in my eyes, as I stared at the man who I loved but who I never thought loved me enough. I wasn’t sure he loved me any at all. Sure, we’d spent many times locked in each other’s arms, in a passionate embrace, ever since that time he popped my cherry. But I didn’t believe he wanted me out of love. More out of habit and because it was what people expected of us. The beautiful cheerleader, prom queen and the handsome quarterback of the football team, prom king. That was last week and today, I had my bags packed and I was leaving. Heading to the city and away from him and the confines of this hateful town where everybody knew everybody’s business. My pregnancy had spread like wildfire, catching everybody’s tongue in its path.
As if it wasn’t bad enough the things I’d been through. Watching my mother slowly self-destruct because of a man just like Tucker. A man who never loved her enough to be able to stay away from other women. In the end, she’d driven herself to nothing, pining over my father to a point that had made her commit suicide. He hadn’t even loved her enough to come to her funeral. That was what scared me about my love for Tucker. I loved him too much and I didn’t want to self-destruct.
“You can’t be serious, Roz,” Tucker said in disbelief but I couldn’t more serious than I was in that moment. My bags were at my feet on the porch and as soon as he was out my way, I would get in my car and drive away, without a thought of this town ever again. Without a thought of him.
“I’ve never been more serious in all my life,” I vowed. “I’ve got to leave, get away from here. From you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demanded angrily. “Come on, Roz. Stop this nonsense, you know you can’t leave me.”
“Is that why you were with that bitch Sarah!” I exclaimed angrily. “Because you don’t think I’d ever leave you?”
This was why I never wanted him to be here before I left because he would rile me up and I wanted to leave in peace.
“I told you that was just a kiss,” he insisted. “And she kissed me, not the other way around.”
“And you were too drunk to put a stop to it,” I returned. “Look, Tucker. No matter what you say, my mind is made up. I’m heading for Denver and I’m not coming back. But don’t worry. Sarah will still be around to comfort you.”
He scowled blackly at me. “Are you forgetting something? The baby? Our baby? How are you going to run off when you’re knocked up with my kid?”
I flushed at his crude manner. I’d liked him for it at first because I hadn’t known any better. Liked the way he talked dirty to me especially when he was deep inside me. I shook my head to dispel the memories of our sweet loving.
“There’s no more baby,” I announced, dragging in a painful breath between my teeth. It had hurt when the pains had hit and I’d started bleeding. Just six weeks pregnant, the little hope that this baby would have pulled us closer together—dashed. There was no more reason to try.
“What do you mean there’s no more baby?”
“I lost it,” I answered but inside I wanted to scream at him ‘while I was losing our child, you were busy partying with your friends, drinking and kissing other women.’
“You’re lying!” he exclaimed. “Rozanne, don’t do this to us. Don’t lie to me. Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re no longer pregnant.�
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His hand gripped my jaw and angled my face so I couldn’t resist staring at him. He always did know I couldn’t lie and look him in the eyes. I looked him in the eyes. Just as I had been able to all the times he accused me of sleeping with other guys at school. As if anyone else could hold a candle to him. I wished I didn’t love him so much. I wished me leaving him didn’t hurt right now, but for the sake of my sanity, I had to do the right thing for me.
So, I stared him in his eyes, looking into the deep blue orbs and my breath hitched. “I lost the baby,” I repeated.
He abruptly pushed me away from him. “You’re lying!” he insisted. “If you lost that baby, it’s only because you aborted it just like you threatened to do!”
“I didn’t abort our baby,” I argued. “I would never—”
“You would to get rid of all the ties and run off to the city!” he accused me. “That’s all you truly care about, all you’ve talked about. Life in the city. Well, guess what Roz, go to the fucking city for all I care. I hope you find all that you’re looking for there.”
Before I could respond, he yanked me back to him so I hit into the solid wall of his chest. His lips descended upon mine hungrily as he devoured my mouth. I tried to resist him. I did. But I was never able to. My hands spanned the familiar width of his shoulders, tasted the familiar tobacco from the cigarettes he promised me he would quit smoking. I wrapped my arms around his neck and played in the black hair at his nape. The fine strands sifted through my fingers. The intoxicating effect his kiss had on me, made me forget everything that had to do with leaving Pagosa Springs and everything to do with staying. I groaned into his mouth. Maybe this would be enough. Maybe he would come to love me as much as I loved him.
He wrenched himself away from me almost as abruptly as he had drawn me into his kiss. He loosened my arms around his neck and stepped away, leaving me confused. His features didn’t reflect love and gentleness. His face was hard and unforgiving.
“When you leave, Roz, don’t come back,” he said in that hard tone of his that sent shivers up and down my spine. “Stay as far away from me as possible.”
