by Ryan Michele
A tear I thought I had used up slid down my cheek. “Thank you,” I whispered and nestled my head into his chest, breathing in his scent.
“I found some things out. I think we should go inside so I can show you.”
My gut tangled with my heart. Lynx had told me the night before that he was pulling every string he could to get all the information about Drew, Devin, and Trey. I wasn’t ready to hear any more the night before, but right then, I was. I wanted answers, craved them. I needed to know why.
I nodded as he led me through the yard and into the house, taking us directly to the couch where we sat next to each other. On the small coffee table was a manila folder, and my anxiety began to pick up. While I wanted the answers, I was afraid of them.
He grabbed my hand, holding it gently. “You okay with this?” he calmly asked.
I wanted to scream no, but that was the fear talking. I wouldn’t let being afraid of what I would find hinder me anymore. I could handle this. I would handle this.
“Yes.” The confidence in my voice was surprising to me, and by Lynx’s smile, he felt the same way. It was so nice to have a rock, someone to have my back while I picked up the pieces of my life.
He released me and opened the folder, exposing a picture of twin babies. They had matching, little baseball outfits on; except, one had a white hat, while the other had a blue.
“Cubs fans?” I questioned with a little smile.
“Guess so.” He pointed to the boy on the right. “That’s Drew Angles.”
My heart skipped a beat. He was such an adorable, little baby with chubby, little cheeks and those same eyes.
Lynx then pointed to the boy on the left. “This is Devin Angles.”
He was the spitting image of Drew, down to the way their noses were shaped. It was quite uncanny.
Lynx then started pulling out pieces of paper as he spoke. “Drew and Devin’s parents were killed in a motorcycle accident when they were seven months old.”
My heart broke for those little boys.
“From the report, they hadn’t been out by themselves for a long time and were just out for a ride when they were hit by a drunk driver.”
That was when my heart seemed to fully stop beating as Nurse Hatchet’s story played in my head: her loss, hurt, and mourning for her parents. She had witnessed all of that, and as horrible as it sounded, I was glad Drew and Devin hadn’t seen it with their own eyes.
“This is the kicker. Their mom, Debra, and father, Dennis, only had one living relative: Dennis’s mother who was in her late sixties. She only took one of the boys: Devin.”
More tears spilled from my eyes. I hurt for Drew who was left behind, unwanted.
“She stated she didn’t have the energy for two toddlers, so Drew was put into foster care and given the last name Lewis.”
“He was so young,” I whispered softly, looking back at the pictures of the little boys.
“Yeah, babe. When the grandmother, Bev, died, Devin went into foster care and given the last name James after he was adopted.”
I nodded.
“They never knew the other existed.”
That couldn’t be right. “Surely, the grandmother would have told Devin about his brother.”
He shook his head. “She died a year after Devin went to her. He was only around eighteen months at the time.”
“What about all of her stuff?” Clearly, it had to be somewhere.
He pulled out some other papers. “Auction.”
I grabbed the paper and looked. The state auctioned off all of her belongings, leaving Drew and Devin with nothing.
I gasped. “Oh, no.”
“Yep, so they have no recollection of even their parents, but you probably knew that from Drew.”
Nodding, I said, “He always told me he didn’t think he had real parents because there wasn’t any trace.”
“The only thing I can think is that the grandmother put that as a stipulation.”
The picture of the boys caught my attention again, their little, smiling faces breaking my heart. “Why would she do that?”
Lynx put his arm around my shoulders, and he kissed my temple. “Don’t know, babe. People do crazy shit for different reasons.”
I knew that to be true, but it still sucked.
He released me, going back to the papers. “Devin was adopted.” He handed me the paper, and I stared at it in awe. “Suzanne and Edger James. They kept Devin and just changed his last name to theirs. They adopted him when he was two and a half.”
“Were they good people?” I knew better than most what happened when they were bad.
“Yep. They’re still alive and only have Devin. I ran their names through the system and nothing came up for a Devin James or either of his parents. From what I can tell, they are on the up and up.”
Relief filled me that at least someone in this fucked up mess was able to have a good life, able to have a shot at living happy. “That’s good.”
“The woman you saw, Kelsey, is his wife, and the little boy is Spenser.”
I smiled at that. Devin had a family and had found his slice of the light. Happiness didn’t cover the magnitude of what I felt for them.
Lynx cleared his throat and pulled out another piece of paper. “Brace yourself, babe,” he warned.
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply as he handed me a crisp, white sheet of paper. Tears gathered in my eyes.
Drew Lewis, 17, died of multiple gunshots in what is believed by police to be a drug deal gone wrong.
“What!” I screeched, still reading the words.
Police and emergency vehicles were called to the alley behind the Greenway Gas ‘N Go at eleven forty-three a.m. where they tried to revive him. He was dead at the scene. Cocaine was found next to the body with prints matching those of Mr. Lewis.
“This isn’t true!” I shook the paper at Lynx, not mad at him, just mad.
“Babe, I know.”
“That asshole got away with killing Drew?” It hit me with the impact of a freight train.
I had never looked to see if the Peterson’s had gotten in any trouble. I had never looked to see if they had gone to jail. I had been so closed off I had never taken the time to find any of that information out. That was a sucker punch to the gut, filled with guilt. I should have. Dammit, I should have.
“He did, but he’s dead now.”
“Good!” I barked a little nastily. “The asshole deserved to die!” Then I wondered, “How?”
“Didn’t pay a dealer for his blow.”
“That fucking piece of shit!” I stood, needing to move. I paced and chewed on my nail. “He took him to that alley and put those drugs on him.” I shook my head. “I’m glad he’s dead. I’m not giving him any more of my thoughts.” My thumb hurt, so I moved to my other and chewed. “What about the wife?”
He cleared his throat. “Still alive, but she had a stroke. She can’t move from the chest down and is in a nursing home with around the clock care.”
That information didn’t provide me with any solace. She should have to live with mice shit covering her and only table scraps to eat.
“Babe,” Lynx called.
I froze at his tone and turned to him, my heart racing.
“They can’t hurt you ever again.”
He was right. Needing to calm down, I started breathing and counting. Inhale … one. Exhale … two.
By number thirteen, I had myself together and came over to sit with Lynx. Then he gave me the death blow.
“According to the reports, the Peterson’s cremated Drew’s body, and there was a small ceremony at that time. I looked into the laws, and the Peterson’s weren’t required to have a formal burial. And since they cremated him, there is no record after they received the ashes. If I had to guess, the Peterson’s just took the money given to them by the state for themselves. There is no record that indicates he has a place.”
The way he had said the “has a place” part was a little creep
y, but I got what he was telling me. There was no final resting spot for Drew. It was like he had never existed on the planet, like he had never belonged, was never with me. I was the only one left who remembered him and would be for all the years to come.
My eyes burned as tears sprang up. My chest ached for Drew, for the man he would never be, for the family he had never known. Crying quickly turned into sobs as I gripped on to Lynx. I needed his strength at that moment. I needed him to be able to hold me because my confidence was being crushed. Lynx being Lynx, he did. Even feeling so saddened about Drew, so hollow, Lynx filled me, allowing me to fall apart. I knew he would be there to catch me.
“Oh, my God.” Andi pulled me into her arms and hugged me with everything she had. I reciprocated, feeling the love this woman had for me. I hoped she could feel mine, too.
I had just finished telling her all the sordid details that Lynx had shared with me the day before. At first, I didn’t know if I was going to tell her or not, but deep down, I knew I needed to. Andi had been my sunshine for so long, still was, and I couldn’t begrudge her the information. Also, it felt good talking to someone other than Lynx about it. Lynx was great—don’t get me wrong—but sometimes, talking to your best friend was needed.
“I hurt for him,” I told her shoulder as she pulled away, eyeing me carefully, no doubt looking to see if I was going under again. I couldn’t blame her. There was always that possibility. However, I felt more confidence in myself that I could take the information and deal as best I could.
She said softly, “I know. It’s written all over your face.”
I gave her a soft smirk. She knew me, just like Lynx. I liked that a lot.
“I feel like there wasn’t any justice for Drew, and it eats me up that no one except me will remember him.”
Andi pulled me to the couch in her apartment, sitting next to me so we were facing each other.
“His brother knows nothing about him. I think I should tell him about Drew, but then I think why do that when it would cause Devin pain? What kind of person would I be to go into his life and disrupt it like that?”
“Oh, honey.” As she gripped both my hands, I could feel her comfort and love deep in my soul. “What does Lynx think about that?”
Shock hit me momentarily at her question. She hadn’t asked much about Lynx, and I had never pushed for fear of hurting her or her feelings for me. I knew they were there, and I held them with white gloves. She meant too much for me to let her down.
“He says it’s my decision.” At that, I smiled and shrugged. “He said that if I wanted to tell Devin, he’d go with me, but if I wanted to keep it to myself, that was my choice. Part of me feels like I should tell him about his brother and what an amazing guy he was, but then the other part says just keep it locked down so the loop of hurt stops with me.”
“I’m behind you whatever you decide,” she told me.
I had to ask, “What would you do?”
She sucked in a breath and thought a moment before she spoke. “I’m not you, so whatever I say here isn’t going to be a right way or a wrong way. You know you have a choice here. You need to ask yourself this: Can you live with yourself not telling his twin? Can you live with letting Drew only live inside of you? If you answer yes, then you keep it to yourself. If you answer no, then you tell Devin.”
I thought about her questions. They were logical and precise, everything I had expected from Andi.
“I need some time to think, but your questions are good. I just don’t have the answers right now. It’s all too fresh. I need to let it soak in.”
Confliction rolled through me as images of the Drew I knew scattered in my head. I felt my lip tip up at the recollections of him. He was a good guy, the best.
She gave my hands a soft, reassuring squeeze. “All right, I have to make brownies for my parents’ house tomorrow. Family dinner.” She rolled her eyes, and I laughed.
Andi loved going to family dinners and sometimes took me with her. She always made the best brownies. Not to mention, I loved how she turned the subject around, letting me release all the buildup.
I quirked a brow. “Do you want me to help you?”
She full-out laughed. “Nope, just come and talk to me while I cook.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Now that, I can do.”
The afternoon was spent making brownies and talking to my best friend. It was comforting, and Andi did it all naturally.
***
The bar was busy, which was good. It gave me little time to think about anything except filling orders and cashing people out. It was a nice change of pace from all the heavy, emotional stuff over the last couple of days.
As I locked down the bar and finished with cleaning, my cell buzzed in my back pocket. I looked at the display, reading Lynx Calling. I answered immediately with a goofy smile on my face.
“Hey.”
“Hey, babe. I’m outside.”
“Be right out.”
I hollered good-bye to the other bartender and a couple of the waitresses who were flipping the chairs up on the tables and went out to Lynx.
Walking out into the cool night air, I loved the feeling of it on my face. It gave me the same sensation I felt when Lynx pushed me on the swing: freedom.
Lynx stood next to his truck, his arms crossed, as handsome as ever. I had never believed in good things happening, especially to a person like me, but he was my happy, and I took him gratefully.
I walked right into his arms, hugging him as he kissed the top of my hair then my temple. I loved when he did that.
“Have a good night?”
“Yeah, tips were good, so that’s a bonus. I’ll have enough soon for a place.”
Lynx’s arm tightened, and I looked up. “What?”
“Babe, you have a place.”
I scrunched my brows in confusion. “I live with Andi,” I reminded him.
“And whose bed do you sleep in at night?” The duh light bulb went off.
“With you.”
He kissed my lips softly. “Yeah, with me. So, when you’re ready, which babe, needs to be soon”—he smiled that sexy smile and I melted—“we’ll move all your shit to the house.”
“Are you asking me to move in with you?”
His hands came to cup my cheeks as he pulled me in closely to him. “There’s nothing I want more, babe. I fucking love waking up to you every morning and falling asleep next to you. This shit is real, Reign.” He said no more, because his lips were on mine in a ferocious kiss.
Yes, definitely. This shit was real.
***
“Babe, come in here,” Lynx called from his office.
I was in the kitchen, doing the dishes from lunch. I dried my hands off and went to him, finding him sitting at his desk, his brow knit and anger written on his face. My stomach dropped. He looked up and schooled his features, but I was already on alert.
“I want you to take a look at this.”
Slowly, I walked around his desk. Sensing my unease, he pulled me into his lap.
“It’s okay, Reign. I just want you to see this.”
I nodded and looked at the computer monitor.
On it was me working behind the bar, and on the barstool was Trey.
“Surveillance video of the bar.” He pointed to Trey. “Is that the guy?”
Anger rippled through me like a storm in the ocean. “Yeah.”
Lynx’s body went taut. “Fuck.”
My hands began to sweat, and my heart was beating a mile a minute at Lynx’s tone.
“What’s going on?”
“That’s Trey Simmons. He’s a fucking idiot.” Well, I already knew that part. “No, seriously. He thinks he’s more than what he really is, which is a very low-level thug.”
“But, in the bar, everyone said he was the guy who knew everything,” I retorted.
Lynx’s eyes met mine. “That’s what he wants everyone to think.”
“But why would he make up some elaborate stor
y about going to the hospital and then finding Devin? He obviously knew something.”
“True, and I’m going to figure out what.” He tapped my leg. “Up ya go. I need to go hunting.”
I didn’t move. “Hunting?”
“I’m going to hunt Trey down.”
I swallowed. “Don’t get into trouble.”
“Babe, the only one who’s got trouble is him.” He stood and placed me on my feet.
“I want to come with you.”
“No,” he replied, and that lit the fire inside me.
He wasn’t doing this on his own.
“No? This is my life, Lynx. I deserve to know the whys.”
He brushed a stray hair behind my ear. “Yeah, babe, you do. I’ll find him, and then you can talk to him.”
I cooled. “Okay, but be careful.”
He kissed my lips. “Always. I have a beautiful woman to come home to.” Pepper barked. “And a dog.”
My insides turned to goo. I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him hard and deeply, letting him know how much everything he had done meant to me.
The words I wanted to say got lodged in my throat as he pulled away, gave me a slight peck, and was gone.
I realized quickly that I was not a patient, wait-for-Lynx-to-go-do-crazy-shit type of woman. As the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours, I cleaned every surface I could find in the house. I even cleaned around the toilet with an old toothbrush. After vacuuming and sweeping every floor, I had nothing left to clean. Nothing. Lynx had been gone for hours, and I became restless without the cleaning to take my mind off of it. What was worse, I didn’t have a shift that night at the bar.
The thing that struck me most was me and the door. I had spent so many years checking, rechecking, and triple-checking to make sure my door in the apartment was locked, that I was secured within the confines. While there in Lynx’s space, the urge to go to the door and make sure it was locked didn’t arise within me. For the first time in my life, I felt safe, and I felt it with Lynx. Even though he wasn’t there, I still had a sense of safety, something I had never had in my life. Just the thought had me smiling.
Finally, I thought I would try a movie to get my mind off of everything and calm down. I put in the Fast and Furious. I freaking loved Vin Diesel, and the action of the movie kept my attention, but Lynx was always right there in my mind.
