by Lily Harlem
“I’ll be careful.” She paused. “You, too.”
He nodded, once, then the door shut and he was gone.
The silence in the room was deafening. Her ears rang with it as her eyes misted. She threw a fallen pillow back onto the bed and dragged at the covers to straighten them.
How dare he? How fucking dare he?
Not to even ask if he could call her. It was too much. Maybe if she was an old hat at one-night stands it wouldn’t make her feel so used, but it did. He’d chatted to her, propositioned her, and then fucked her, several times over.
Okay, so she’d enjoyed it. She’d used his body as much as he’d used hers. But if he was the gentleman he professed to be, he would have at least pretended to be interested in seeing her again. His mother might have taught him some things, but she’d neglected to tell him how to make a girl feel special in the morning.
She grabbed her bag, and after glancing out of the window to make sure he wasn’t loitering outside, she stormed from the room.
The bar was empty and the front door on a latch. She let herself out into the cool morning.
A bus rattled by, half empty, and she ducked her head and walked quickly past the pub’s benches and tables. It wouldn’t take long to get back to the barracks and the exercise would do her good. It might even burn up the frustration surging through her system.
Chapter Five
Eight days later
“He needs more fluids,” Jenna said, studying blood pressure results on a digital screen. “Eighty-five over fifty.” She closed off the empty drip running into the soldier’s arm and reached for another bag of saline.
“Potassium in that?” James, the on-duty doctor, asked, not looking up from where he was carefully inserting a chest drain.
“Yes.”
“Good.” His brow creased in concentration. “Open it up full.”
The field hospital near Mosul had been busy for days. The insurgents relentless as the British Forces continued to try and support the local army. Jenna was tired, and today should have been her day off, but when patients kept coming in, so would she. When the flow of casualties stopped arriving then she’d take a break.
The sound of a helicopter taking off filled the ward, the canvas walls unable to dull the whipping noise of the blades and the roar of the engine. She hoped it wasn’t heading off to collect more casualties. They had a batch of injured soldiers going back to the UK the next day, but until then beds were in short supply.
She attached the drip and wiped the back of her arm over her forehead. The air conditioning was playing up and the heat relentless.
“I’m in.” James set his stethoscope on the patient’s chest and listened. “Yep, we’re all good.”
“You should feel better now.” Jenna rested her hand on the soldier’s cheek. He was young, pale and his eyes were wide with fear. “Take a deep breath.”
He did as she’d asked, his chest rising and then falling. “Yes, it’s better.” He breathed deep again.
“Good.” She smiled and noticed his blood pressure was improving. “The drain will stay in until the lung reattaches itself to the chest wall, then you should be right as rain.”
He nodded.
“But until then, you rest up here and I’m going to clean that wound on your leg.”
“Will it … will it be okay? My leg. Am I going to lose it?”
“No, absolutely not, it’s superficial.” She smiled. “You were lucky.”
“I know I was.”
Only a soldier would say they were lucky when they had a punctured lung and half a window shattered into their leg. “And once you’re all bandaged up, a cup of tea, okay,” she said.
“Thank you, nurse. For everything.”
“No thanks necessary. Now lie still, I’ll do my best not to hurt you.”
“It won’t matter if you do.” He closed his eyes and turned to the wall which was billowing as another helicopter landed.
Jenna shared a look with James. Goodness only knew what their young patient had seen out there.
“Doctor, we need you.”
James glanced over his shoulder. “I’m on my way.” He looked at Jenna. “You okay here?”
“Yes, I’ll keep an eye on him, clean up this leg. If anything changes with his observations, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.”
James turned and disappeared into the admission room next to the one she was working in. He was one of the older doctors on the team. He’d been on more tours than he could count and never failed to amaze Jenna with how calm he stayed, even when situations were spiraling to level crazy. She was always glad when her rota matched his.
She opened a sterile dressing set, checked the screen to ensure all was still well with her patient’s blood pressure and oxygen levels, then snapped on fresh gloves. The left lower leg before her was a littered with mean shards of glass and there was nothing for it but to painstakingly pick them all out.
It took an hour and a half for her to feel satisfied she’d removed all the glass, washed out the cuts and then applied dressings. But it was good in the long run, it had meant she could keep watch over her patient and ensure he remained stable. He didn’t speak, he appeared to doze, and only flinched once when she pulled out a long, needle shaped bit of glass wedged deep into the right side of his knee.
Now he was all cleaned up and his breathing had settled with the chest drain doing its job. Time and rest was all he needed now. Physically at least. Mentally he might not be so easy to repair.
She cleared away her dressing trolley, dropped the glass into a sharps bin, then set to work on his notes. Her extra shift had ended twenty minutes previously, but that held very little weight. She’d work until she’d finished her tasks and there were enough staff around to take over new ones. That’s how it had been since she’d landed in Iraq on this tour. The work was hot, hard, and continuous. Down time was only to fill up on food, sleep and occasionally read a book or send an email home.
But Jenna didn’t mind. It was what she’d signed up for. It was her way of making a difference in the world, even if it was only a small one.
After handing over to the evening staff and checking on her patients one last time, she headed off the ward. A long, tented corridor connected eight wards and two theatres. At the south end were clinical supplies rooms and the mortuary and to the north were offices and infection control rooms.
“You had a good day?” Isabel, one of the senior nurses from the ward opposite, asked as she fell into step with Jenna.
“Didn’t lose anybody, so, yes, that will do for me.” Jenna glanced down at her blue scrubs. They were peppered with blood and there was a blob of iodine on her top which she doubted would be easy to remove. “Have they decided on chaperones for tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’m going.” Isabel grinned.
“Nice one.” A chaperone job back to the UK was always a welcome break from the field. Although the flight was risky and nerve jangling if patients worsened at thirty thousand feet, it did mean forty-eight hours leave before returning. “Have you got plans while you’re there?”
“I’ll see Edward. It’s his birthday next week. We can have an early celebration.”
“Lucky Edward.”
“Lucky me.” Isabel laughed and jabbed Jenna in the ribs playfully. “You coming for food?”
“Yes, I’ll get changed first though.”
“Me, too. I’ll see you in the mess, I’ve got a few notes to catch up on first.” She disappeared into an office.
Jenna headed out into the desert heat and across the dusty floor to her quarters. The camp was huge and it took her ten minutes to walk there, partly because she was tired, but also because her thoughts had, as usual, wandered to Seb.
Which irritated her beyond belief. She couldn’t get him off her mind—except when she was working, then there was no brain space for anything other than the tasks at hand.
The night they’d spent together had been intense
, sensual, and as he’d promised, she feared he’d ruined her for all other men. The walk back to the barracks after leaving The Dog and Duck hadn’t burned up her frustration at all, instead it had been fraught with emotion. She’d gone from feeling desperately sad at the thought of never seeing him again, to furious that he’d treated her the way he had—he’d made her feel so good and then so bad.
It was true what she’d always suspected. One-night stands might be instant gratification, but they left her feeling hollow and alone.
Her quarters were in a tent occupied by eight other female medical staff. Her small partitioned section—a pod—was neat and practical, the bed firm and the place was never quiet. She grabbed a towel and headed for the shower at the end of the tent.
After freshening up and pulling on a pair of faded jeans and a t-shirt, she dragged a comb through her hair and swiped moisturizer across her cheeks. Mainly she just wanted to sleep, but she had to eat first.
The sun was setting and the sky had turned a beautiful shade of citrus orange with several pencil thin black clouds slicing through it. There was always a slight haze in the air, as if the desert sand had laid a thin veil over everything.
“Jenna.”
She turned and spotted Isabel, also freshly showered and wearing jeans. “Hey, Is.”
“I’m starving, then it’s an early night with my book so I’m fresh for tomorrow’s trip.”
“Good plan.”
They wandered into the mess. The scent of food was comforting, as was the clatter of cutlery and the buzz of conversation. They joined a short queue, trays in hand, and discussed the patients of the day.
Jenna was first to be served. She opted for lasagna and salad then waited while Isabel loaded her own plate. Glancing around the canteen, she sought somewhere to sit. It was busy—soldiers dressed in desert camouflage filled almost every seat as they refueled and talked noisily to one another.
Her attention fell on a group sitting in the far right corner. It was where the senior officers congregated. But it wasn’t that which caught her attention, it was the shape of one man’s shoulders. They were broad and led to a slim waist. His hair was dark and cut neatly into the nape of his neck.
Something about him reminded her of Seb.
“There’s a seat over here, quick.” Isabel rushed past. “Jenna.”
“Er, what … yes.” Tutting, she tore her gaze from the officer. This was getting ridiculous. There was moping over someone and then there was being pathetic—and thinking other men, half way around the world looked like him, was definitely pathetic.
But as they sat and ate, that didn’t stop Jenna from being distracted. She kept her eye on the officer, hoping he did look a little like her one-night stand. But she never even got to see his face. He left without turning her way.
Get a grip, Jenna.
“You okay?” Isabel asked.
“Yes, I’m just tired.” She set her knife and fork down on her empty plate.
“You shouldn’t have worked today.”
“And have the ward short of nurses while I lounge around.” Jenna shook her head. “That’s not in my nature.”
“I know it’s not.” Isabel rested her hand on Jenna’s. “But our one day off a week is important. It’s to catch up on sleep, sure, but it’s also to give up here a rest.” She tapped the side of her head. “It’s full on at the moment. We have to care for ourselves if we’re going to care for others.”
“Yes, I know.” And her head wasn’t right, not since Seb. “I’ll take my leave next Sunday.” She paused. “If it’s not busy.”
“You will, no matter what, otherwise I’ll be recommending you for chaperone duty, just so you can have forty-eight hours rest in the UK.”
“Are you really telling me you’re going to be resting while you’re on leave?” Jenna waggled her eyebrows and grinned.
“Mmm, well, I can’t see Edward letting me get much sleep no matter how many of those hours we spend in bed.”
“Which is exactly how it should be when you see so little of your fiancé.” Jenna stood. “Say hi to him for me. And have a great time. I’ll catch up with you when you’re back.”
“I will. Night, Jenna.”
Jenna stacked her dirty plate and cutlery and returned her tray.
Once outside she walked beneath a star-heavy sky toward her tent. A noisy game of cards was going on beside a barrel filled with flames, and a helicopter’s rotors were spinning. Deciding on a short cut, she walked down a sandy alley between an officer’s tent and a storage facility.
There was some kind of debate going on in the tent and deep voices rumbled through the canvas walls along with classical music.
For a moment she paused and listened to the male tones drifting through a conversation. She couldn’t make out what was being said and didn’t know which officers used that particular tent. But she was sure she’d get to know them over time, their faces at least. She just hoped it would be in the canteen or around a game of cards rather than in the hospital.
She continued to walk past the tent. Reaching the open space, she glanced upward as a helicopter flew overhead. A noise behind caused her to turn.
A soldier had slipped out of the officer’s tent and headed into the alleyway she’d just come down.
Her heart fluttered. It was the same guy she’d seen in the canteen. She was sure of it.
What are the chances? There’s hundreds of service men here.
She was sure it was canteen guy, though, it was the swing of his shoulders, his tall frame, the way his paces were long and graceful. Perhaps Seb had a brother in the army.
Don’t be ridiculous.
He’d melted almost instantly into the darkness so she turned and wandered to her own tent. A sense of aloneness washed over her. When Isabel returned to the UK she’d have Edward waiting for her. Melanie had her wedding coming up and had found someone to share the rest of her life with. Perhaps it was time for Jenna to start thinking about the same thing.
Where did that thought come from?
The way her mind was going shocked her. For so long she’d been married to the army, her commitment to being a nurse the biggest thing in her life. She had no room for anyone else, especially a man.
Damn you, Seb.
He’d made her see what she was missing, even if he had been a dickhead when they’d said goodbye. A warm body to curl up with at night, mind-blowing orgasms, and a person who wanted to make sure she was always okay. It wasn’t so bad, was it?
She flopped into bed, her stomach full and her body weary. For once instead of ruminating about Seb and their night at The Dog and Duck, she quickly fell asleep.
Chapter Six
When Jenna woke she was groggy and in need of coffee. After pulling on fresh scrubs, she filled up on eggs and caffeine in the mess, then made her way to the ward.
The air conditioning was still playing up and even though it was early, the temperature was climbing. James was working on a set of traction along with Marie, a long-standing colleague of Jenna’s.
After being brought up to date on what had happened overnight, Jenna went to see Callum, the young soldier she’d treated the day before. He was sitting up in bed, his cheeks had more color in them and he was sipping a cup of tea.
“Hey,” she said as she strapped a blood pressure cuff to his arm. “Looks like you’re feeling better.”
“Thanks to you guys.”
“That’s why we’re here.” She checked the chest drain which sat beside the bed. “I’m sure they’ll get you home for recuperation as soon as there’s space on a repatriation flight.”
He shook his head. “I’d rather stay here. Get well and get back out there.”
“A few weeks rest will do you good.” She set her hand on his. She’d seen it time and time again. Young soldiers were thirsty to continue the fight and even up the score.
“As soon as this drain is out, I’ll be good to hold a gun.”
“We’ll see.” It was
n’t for her to decide, so there was no point arguing. “Have you had some—?”
She paused as a helicopter whirred overhead. The chug of the blades seeming to vibrate the air as well as blast it with noise.
When it had landed, she carried on. “Have you had some breakfast, Callum?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Good. Well, keep drinking plenty of fluids today and we’ll get this drip down. And later I’ll check your leg, okay?”
He nodded then his gaze turned to movement at the end of the ward.
“Jenna, now!” James called.
She rushed to the admission room with adrenaline rushing into her system. The helicopter had brought in casualties, two by the looks of it.
Another doctor rushed to join them. She and James turned their attention to the first soldier who had blood on his face and a gash to his leg.
“History?” James barked at the medic.
“Ambush, it was an early morning surveillance mission. Shots fired. He’s taken a bullet to his right thigh, missed the femoral artery, no other injuries from what I can see.”
“What’s he had?”
“One load of plasma expander, ten of morphine and there’s a tourniquet in situ.”
“Thanks.”
“And this one?” the other doctor said, tugging his stethoscope from his ears.
The medic reeled off the other patient’s injuries and treatment in transit. He was in a worse state than the man Jenna and James were looking after.
Quickly, she snipped off the soldier’s combats as far as the tourniquet. James wiped over the wound to check the damage.
“I need an update on these men.”
Jenna froze at the sound of the deep voice coming from the doorway.
“There’s still troops out there.” The rounded vowels, the low pitch, and the commanding tone flooded Jenna’s brain.
It can’t be!
She turned. Her limbs feeling like Jell-O.
Standing by the trolley not ten feet from her was the Seb lookalike soldier.
