by Anna Howard
What? Oh, duh! I had to physically stop myself from slapping my forehead. Of course Casey assumed Trevor and I were… doing something. We show up half an hour late to her house all hot and sweaty and a random number written on Trevor's arm, and then I tell her we were "having a little fun," I am an idiot! "No, Casey, it isn't like that. Trevor and I are just friends, trust me. He really wanted to go out with you tonight, and I wanted to go out with Austin, he was just nervous is all. We did laser tag, that's all."
Casey looked confused for a moment, but then smiled and laughed, throwing her head back. On any other girl, that would have looked really weird, but somehow she pulled it off as cute, even if it was a little overdone.
She grabbed Trevor's arm and pulled him right up next to her. Her eyes got huge and innocent-looking and she looked into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to blow up, I just really like you."
"Oh, well that's fine because I'm starting to like you more and more." He smiled back at her. I glanced away, praying he didn't see the hurt that flashed across my features.
The waitress showed up then, saving us from any further awkwardness. "Hi, I'm Sandy, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get for you today, sir?" She smiled flirtatiously at Austin and from the way she said server, I'd say she was willing to be a lot more for him. So much for saving us.
"Hi, I'll take the grilled shrimp." I said, taking Austin's hand and pulling him closer to me. He turned and grinned at me, smiling stupidly.
"Yeah me too," he mumbled without even looking in dejected-looking waitress's direction and wrapped his arms around me. I smiled and leaned close to his face, willing him to take the hint. For a minute he just smiled back, then a greedy glint took over his eyes. I don't think he realized that I was asking him to kiss me, and by the mischievous way his lips curled up, I don't think he realized I knew what he was going to do, so I played along and sighed dreamily at him.
We were so close to each other already that when my lips moved to breath, they brushed against his slightly, and that totally set him off. He closed the distance between us and sealed it with a big, wet kiss.
Ha! Take that, waitress lady!
Normally this was just whatever, just something to get at the obnoxious man-stealing waitress. A kiss is just a kiss, right? But holy crap, Austin was a good kisser! I almost forgot where I was, I was so distracted by his lips and the taste of mint lingering on them. But then my subconscious heard Trevor and Casey declare their orders, then someone cleared their throat loudly and we broke apart, panting and grinning at each other.
"I said, what would you like to drink?" The waitress now just looked irritated. Austin told her he wanted a coke, and I asked for a water with lemon.
Once she was out of earshot I cracked up. Casey looked like she was missing something and Trevor looked a little pissed, but before too long he smiled and laughed along with us, even if it sounded a little forced.
"Okay, what is so funny?" Casey demanded, Austin just smiled at me and took my hand under the table.
"Did you not see what just happened?" Trevor asked.
"Yeah, I saw Austin and Ariana randomly start sucking faces, what's so funny about that?"
"No, did you see the waitress? She was totally pissed! I bet she's wondering right now how good of a kisser Austin is," I mused, "I mean, I could tell her he's freaking fantastic, but I don't think she really wants to hear that from me." Austin laughed at the praise, and squeezed my hand. He wasn't super bright, but I was starting to like him.
Casey finally got it and started laughing with us, smiling obnoxiously big and rubbing against Trevor. Was it a bad idea to set these two up? My nauseated stomach obviously thought so. I quickly changed the subject.
When the food arrived we all ate happily and made small talk. Thankfully, it wasn't awkward at all, it was like we'd all been best friends forever. Afterwards I dropped Casey off and it was just Trevor and me in the car, driving around aimlessly. It was still early, and I didn't want to be home alone, so I purposely took a long time getting him home.
"You know, we still have time to go to the kissing rock," Trevor grinned at me mischievously and did his trademark eyebrow thing. I shrugged and turned the car around, trying to hide my smirk. I wondered what he'd do when he thought I was taking him seriously. His face froze mid-laugh and he looked shocked, then a little bit nervous, and did he look pleased? But his face turned neutral before I could tell for sure.
I laughed out loud at his reaction and told him I'm joking, "That wouldn't be fair to Casey, now would it?" I giggled, and then turned thoughtful. "How do you like Casey, anyway?"
He hesitated for a moment, rubbing his arm thoughtfully. "She's… cool. I thought she'd just be a stereotype cheerleader chick, like your friend Alyssa." He winked playfully, which I took as 'no offense'. "But she's actually pretty cool, and she's nice and kinda funny. I'd be ok going out with her again." He bit his lip and glanced in the rearview mirror.
Huh. I thought she was totally playing up the cheerleader stereotype thing, which is freaking annoying, by the way. But I guess Trevor didn't think so. Unless he was lying, but I didn't know him well enough to tell. Either way, he thought he wanted to go out with her again, and I knew she would want to go out with him again, his charm was on full power during dinner.
"Well good, I'm sure you two will be going out again soon." I said almost bitterly. What the heck? I was happy for him, really, I was.
He looked surprised at my sudden harshness, but didn't say anything. After a while of driving silently, he spoke up. "So were you planning on taking me home, or kidnapping me?"
"Oh, right, I uh, I forgot where you live." I stuttered. I've never been good at lying.
"Eh, I don't really wanna go home yet. Whaddoya say we hang out for a while?"
I grinned, I may not have known him very well but he definitely knew me. "Sounds like a plan. Where to? I'm pretty much up for anything."
"I've always wanted to try ice skating," Trevor suggested. But it was still summer, or fall, whatever. It wasn't cold enough for ice, and I didn't know of any local ice skating ricks.
"Ice skating would be kinda hard considering there's no ice." I pointed out.
"Yeah, okay, ice skating is out. What's your idea?"
I thought about it for a minute. "We could… search Google for something fun to do?"
He scoffed at me. "Wait to be creative. Ok, fine. Let's search Google." I pulled the car over and took out my iPod and opened Google. I typed in 150 things to do when you're bored. I scrolled through the list for a while, skipping the boring things like reading a book and memorizing a poem. One said something about dogs, and I asked Trevor absently if he had any pets.
"Nah, my dad was allergic to most fur, and fish are boring and turtles stink." He answered, reading over my shoulder.
"No pets at all? Do you even like animals?" I asked, looking up from my iPod.
"Not really," he answered, not looking up. He bit his lip again.
I put the iPod down. "Then I know what we're going to do. We're getting you a pet. Let's go." I put the car in drive and pulled back onto the road, looking around for a pet shop. There was a Petco a little ways behind us, perfect.
"I don't want a stupid pet," he grumbled and sat back, crossing his arms stubbornly. As if I cared. I drove over to the open pet shop and parked right in front of the door. He groaned and I have to drag him out of the car and into the store. A large woman with curly, bright orange hair greeted us with a bright smile at the door. We said hi as we walked past her, well I did anyway. Trevor dragged his feet and sighed loudly, causing the friendly woman to frown.
"Trevor, can you at least pretend like you want to be here?" I ask, exasperated.
He scoffed and shook his hair out, running his fingers through it roughly. We headed over to the puppy section, where tons of tiny furry puppies lie sleeping peacefully. One overly eager dog pressed his wet nose against the glass, making it foggy. He yipped and ran in a circle, and
then licked the fog off the glass and stared at Trevor with huge eyes.
He looked like one of those dogs you see on movies in Alaska or something, with pointy ears and piercing blue eyes, kind of like Trevor's. A lot like Trevor's, actually.
"Aw! Trevor did you see this one? Look at him! He loves you already!" I pressed my hands on the glass, and the puppy stared at them, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth when he turned his head.
"Yeah, whatever." He said, but he was walking up to the glass, too. He looked at the dog for a minute, and then he smiled. He totally loved it!
"Er, it's cool I guess, but can we just go now?" Suddenly he turned away from the puppy and pulled out his phone like he was going to text somebody.
"Seriously? You know you want this dog, I know you want this dog."
"No, I don't, okay? I don't want a stupid pet. I told you that."
He bit his lip and looked back at the puppy.
Well I wasn't having it. I walked away without a word to find an employee to help me get out this adorable puppy. The big, friendly woman at the door happily lead me back to the puppy and disappeared behind a door on the side of the glass cages. She reappeared on the other side and opened the back of the cage. The puppy stood up and looked at her excitedly, his tail wagging. When she picked him up, he yipped at her and licked her face, I heard her laugh and lift him up. Oops, her.
The woman walked out carrying the excited puppy. It tried to jump out of her arms at Trevor, who was totally beaming at the dog. He reached his arms out for the puppy, and held her to his chest, rubbing his face in her fur. He laughed as the dog licked his face and tried to climb onto his head.
"Perfect! We're getting it," I smiled and clapped my hands. Trevor looked up at me with an unreadable expression. He wasn't smiling anymore. He glanced at the woman looking frantically between the two of us, and then he walked a few feet away and looked expectantly at me.
I shot an apologetic look at the woman and followed him.
"What is your problem? I know you want this dog, it's freaking obvious. So we're getting it, that's all there is to it." I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.
"No, Ariana," I ignored the weird fluttering in my stomach when he said my name. "I can't get it. I can't-" he glanced at the orange-haired lady rearranging cans of things on a shelf. "I can't afford it." He sighed and looked down, petting the dog absently.
Of course, that was why he didn't even want to come, because he knew he wouldn't be able to get a pet if we found one. But of course he was going to get one.
I stared at him, willing him to continue. He just looked at the floor and kept petting the dog.
"Consider it my gift." I said, taking his hand to make him look at me. When our skin touched it sent a shock through my fingers and up my arm, making me shiver. I almost forgot what I was about to say. "It can be an early birthday present! Or a late one, depending on when your birthday is. When is your birthday?"
Trevor stared at our hands for an extra moment, and then slowly moved his head to look up into my eyes. Tears brimmed in his eyes, and he blinked them away. He smiled broadly and threw his arms around me, crushing the puppy between us.
"I'll go ring that up for you. Would you like the puppy-starter kit to go with it?" The woman smiled at us, her eyes glinting like she knew something I didn't.
.o.O.o.O.o.
The woman, her name was Maggie, explained to us that this was a Miniature Alaskan Husky and that she probably won't get much bigger than about 30 pounds and she needs to be taken on daily walks and other useful information about the dog, which I mostly tuned out. Trevor listened intently and held the puppy possessively.
"So what do you want to name her?" I asked in the car while we were driving away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him glance at me, at my hair, then turn back to his puppy and stroke it adoringly.
"I think I'll call her Copper," he whispered.
Copper. My hair was kind of a coppery color. Does that have anything to do with why he named his dog Copper? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. Why would I care anyway? It wasn't like I liked him or anything. He was my best friend, and besides, he was still just another stupid high school boy. Right?
"Um, yeah. That's a good name," I mumbled just a little too late. He stopped petting Copper and looked at me, concern showing in his face.
"You ok?"
My stomach was doing flips and tingling and my toes were twitching inside my shoes. What the heck was going on with me?
"Uh, I uh – I'm fine. I think – let's – I'll just take you home now." I stuttered. I never stutter.
He didn't say anything more and neither do I until I'm stopped outside his house.
"Hey, thanks Ari," He'd never called me Ari before. Why was I noticing all of this all of a sudden? And then he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. His lips were warm and moist and I found myself wishing they were somewhere else on my face... They lingered for the longest moment. Then he broke away and I didn't move as he got out of the car and walked into his house, holding the happy puppy to his heart and waving to me before closing the door.
Trevor just kissed me.
My cheek was on fire.
My lips were jealous.
My stomach was swirling.
With what? Excitement? Nervousness? Disgust? No, not disgust, it was definitely swirling with something good.
I couldn't move.
But I had to leave or he'd think I'm creepy.
I was on autopilot as I turned the key and drove to my house. I didn't notice that my father's car was parked in the garage where I usually parked. He rounded on me as soon as the door was closed behind me.
"Where have you been?" He bellowed and staggered toward me. I barely dodged the beer bottle he threw at me. His face was blotchy. I would assume he had been crying, but I knew he didn't have emotions so that couldn't be.
"I was studying," I said carefully, edging around the kitchen as far from his as possible.
"Oh yeah?" He snarled, and laughed loudly, "What for? It's not like you're smart or anything. You don't know anything, and you're never going anywhere!"
I wanted to yell at him that I had near-perfect grades and that I would leave this place as soon as I possibly could. I wanted to tell him what a horrible father he was and how he was ruining my life. I wanted to tell him how I hardly eat and that I exercised beyond belief trying to be pretty and loved by other people because I never was by him. I wanted to scream and cry and break things, like he did, but I'll never be a monster like him. I just wanted my daddy back.
But I didn't do any of these things. I wouldn't have had time if I wanted to. He passed out and slumped to the floor, still holding a half empty beer bottle. When he was sleeping he looked peaceful, like the man I used to love. I only allowed a single tear to glide down my cheek. It splashed on the wooden floor beside his head.
All thoughts of Trevor and his new puppy were wiped from my mind. All I could think about were the days before my mother left us. I was only 11 when it happened. I had thought our little family was so happy. Sure, mom was usually gone during the holidays and every other day, and dad was gone a lot, too, and I heard them fighting behind closed doors more often than I probably should have, but we were together, and we loved each other. But then one day she was just gone. My father explained that it was like an extended business trip, except she wouldn't be coming back. He had said I might see her sometimes, but that they weren't married anymore and I would be living with him. I have not, in fact, seen her since that day, nor do I plan to. My mother was cold, she only cared about her work. She was never home and when she was she was usually on the phone or yelling at my dad for something.
For the first month or so after she left, my father just stayed locked up in his room where I knew he was crying, or stayed at work and left me with the nanny. But then he started drinking. In the beginning he only drank a little and for a while he almost seemed happy again, if only a little more violent and moody, but
as time went on he started drinking more and more and well, you know what happened next.
The last thing I remembered before I fell asleep was when my mother, father, and I went to a carnival. My mother had forgotten her phone and pager at home, and my father wouldn't go back to get them. This was the only time I think I ever remembered her actually paying attention to me and even, dare I say, have fun. We got cotton candy, went on the Ferris wheel together, and held hands. I remembered she smiled at me more than she ever had before that day.
Chapter 7 - Cherries and Chocolate
Trevor wasn't kidding about wanting to go out with Casey again, apparently. He took her to the movies on the second date, just the two of them. Then on another date he took her to a random little league baseball game and they gave chocolate pudding to the kids playing. Random, yes, but really cute. One day they went to a tiny park and had a little picnic under a little tree by candle light. He brought her roses or chocolate or teddy bears almost every day, which is totally cliché but also really adorable. They talked about everything together, and did everything together. I knew all this because Trevor told me about it. Every. Day.
One day he would explain to me what they had done the night before, the next he'd tell me how beautiful she is and how much he likes her. He hadn't said anything about loving her or anything like that, but he already acted like he was planning to propose, showering her with gifts and compliments all the time. It would normally have been really annoying, but I couldn't bring myself to hate seeing him so happy.
He hadn't missed a Wednesday or Friday with me to be with her yet, but I felt like it wouldn't be long before that happened.
Casey sat with us at lunch every day, with Trevor, anyway. I was almost jealous. But not of Casey! I didn't like Trevor like that… No. I was almost jealous because Alyssa and her new flavor of the week, (I think his name was Josh) were always together, Amber and Drew were always together, Trevor was now always with Casey, and then here I was, lying on the table just like always. Alone. It was hard to hate her, though. She was on the student council and president of the volleyball club, which I decided not to join this year for some reason… She also volunteered to help with peer tutor and despite her annoying cheerleader tendencies, she was actually really likable. Her baby face and big eyes made her seem so young and innocent, but we all knew she's about as innocent as me. Even less so, probably.
