Lingering Touch - A Story of Young Love

by Anna Howard

  I sucked in a deep breath and held it for a second, blowing it out in a huff. What was wrong with me? Shaking it off, I walked cautiously to my room and touched up my makeup to see Austin. Then I left to go meet him in town, still wearing my ultra-tight yoga pants and skimpy bra.

  Austin was awed by my car, and for good reason. Obviously, it's amazing, especially compared to his beat up '97 Toyota Camry. Honestly that isn't a super bad car, but his was trashed. He followed me home and parked on the side of the street. Once inside we went down to the arcade to play some games, but he was so competitive and set on winning that I just let him win every game, and it wasn't fun at all. So we went into the theater to watch a movie. He picked out some lame action movie I had already seen. We cuddled close and started the horrible film.

  About halfway through the movie my head started hurting again. It wasn't hurting this time as much as just kind of blanking out. It was probably nothing, I was just tired again. I was really sleepy for some reason. I snuggled closer to Austin and he grinned at me, turning to face me fully on the couch. He had been being quiet during the movie, completely engrossed in it. But once I got his attention he was all mine. His hands found my hips and pulled me on top of him so I was straddling him. They roamed over to my bare stomach and rubbed soothing circles on it while I kissed him. After that amazing kiss with Trevor, I couldn't see why I had thought Austin was the best kisser.

  But no, I wouldn't think about Trevor. I was making out with my boyfriend for heaven's sake, what was I thinking?

  Austin pulled me close and trailed kisses on my cheek to my jaw and down my neck. Then he reached my chest and kept going lower to my stomach. By now I was laying on the couch and he was hovering above me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him back up to my face so I could kiss him some more. My head was pounding and I just wanted to distract myself from it, so I kissed him harder.

  I didn't put as much effort into the kiss as I did… previously. I sat back and let him do all the work, enjoying the ride. Austin came up for breath and a soft moan escaped his lips. He stopped and stared at me, and I mean stared. His gaze met my eyes unflinchingly and his eyes pierced my freaking soul. I froze, stunned at the sudden intensity.

  "I think, I think I love you, Ariana." He said.

  Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Did he just say what I think he said? That could not be true. Austin Skye just told me he thinks he loves me. Were my ears deceiving me?

  "Wha- what?" I fumbled, my eyebrows coming together in confusion.

  "Ariana, I think that I love you. I really do. You are… amazing." His eyes were so sincere. He looked at me like I was some kind of angel or something. Obviously I was far from amazing, but if that was how he saw me, was I going to complain? Heck to the no. But still, he didn't love me. I knew it. There was no such thing as love. Infatuation maybe. Like maybe. Maybe even like very much, but not love. It simply didn't exist.

  I bit my lip and looked down, not knowing quite what to say. Do I deny it? Was I supposed to say it back? No, I wasn't sure what proper protocol in this kind of situation was, but I wasn't going to lie to him. Because I didn't love him. If love wasn't even a real thing, how could I love him?

  A huge silence filled the air, suffocating me. Finally Austin tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. "Hey, you don't have to say it back. I just had to get that out there." He smiled encouragingly and I smiled back at him. I never noticed he had a cute little dimple when he smiled like that.

  He hugged me tight, breathing into my hair. Then, as if there hadn't been an interruption at all, he started kissing my neck again. We got right back to where we were, and I could almost pretend like it never even happened. But he was being so much more intense now. We kept making out for a while, then he started tugging at my pants. And for some crazy reason, I started pulling off his shirt. Don't ask me why I did it, I just did.

  Soon we were down to nothing but our underwear, and things were getting a little crazy to say the least. Oh man, were we seriously going to do it? I started freaking out at the traitorous thought, and I being, well me, started kissing him even harder. Because I was freaking out about going all the way. Yeah, I'm weird, I know.

  Ok, let me give you a little background. I, Ariana Luke, have never had sex. There, I said it. I'm a virgin, get over it. The only people who actually know that are Lyssa, Amber and myself, of course. They've both done it, but it's more of a big deal to me. I can't just do that, 1) because honestly, I think it's just kinda wrong unless you're married, 2) because every guy I've gotten serious with has turned out to be a jerk or an idiot, and I wouldn't want my first to be with a jerk or an idiot, and 3) because I don't think I'm pretty enough. Why that even relates, I don't know. I just know that I am not very pretty or skinny or whatever so that means I can't have sex. The end.

  But seeing as how Austin and I were going at it, this may very well indeed be my first time. Of course, none of my past boyfriends have told me they loved me like he did, so maybe tonight would be full of surprises?

  And oh, how right I was.

  Just as we were getting to the point where we basically had to either do it (and on a couch no less, very romantic…) or stop, none other than my dad stomped in the room. Flushed from being drunk and probably other stuff I don't care to know about. He looked absolutely pissed when he saw the two of us tangled on the couch together. A huge growl ripped from his lips and he launched himself at us, tearing us apart. Austin screamed. I mean, he let out a scream… like little girl at a haunted house scream. In any other situation, I probably would have laughed at how pathetic it sounded. However, being in the current situation I was in, laughing wasn't exactly on my agenda. My father practically threw Austin off of my and hurled him toward the wall, where he hit with a thud and slumped to the floor. Was he passed out?

  I didn't have time to find out, as my father whirled to face me and yanked me up by my hair. Tears immediately sprung into my eyes and the pain when he pulled many strands out at a time. It was like my whole head was on fire, it hurt so much. I clenched my eyes shut and bit my tongue to stop me from crying out. He pulled me straight up and glared at me, or I assumed he did, but my eyes were still closed.

  "Look at me, you wench!" I stifled a sob and looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot and his pupils were dilated. He looked pissed. "You little slut! How dare you do it on my couch?! And with this little wuss? The least you could do is have good taste! Look at him, running off like a little coward."

  Austin looked at me with wide eyes, and then at my father. I couldn't imagine what he must have been thinking. A big purple bruise was already forming on his forehead. Dad growled again and Austin yelped, scurrying away and out the open door. The sound of his car peeling out of the driveway and down the street was loud and clear. And I was alone with my father.

  I blinked back more tears and glared at my dad. He grinned back. "What are you doing here?" I asked as calmly as I could.

  "What are you doing here?" He mocked in a high pitched voice. "You're pathetic, you know that? Get out of my house." He scoffed and pushed me back onto the couch and walked away.

  "It's my house, too." I said, standing on shaky legs.

  He turned on his heel and sneered at me. "What did you just say?"

  "I said, this is my house, too. And I'm almost an adult. So you can stop treating me like a child and trying to tell me what to do. It's not like I ever listen to you anyway."

  "You little bitch!" My father stalked up to me and slapped me so hard I spun and fell to the ground, landing on my knee hard. He kicked my stomach and I fell to my side, clutching it. "Don't you dare talk to your father like that! Who do you think pays for your school? And all that shit you buy all the time? Don't think for one second that I am stupid. I am smarter than you will ever be. Get the hell out of my house!"

  He yanked me up by my hair and slapped me again, shoving me away from him in disgust. Then he stomped up to his room and slammed the door.

  I curled up on the flo
or, holding my stomach with one hand and my face with the other. Tears finally escaped and rolled down my cheeks, landing on the soft carpet and in my hair. My face stung, and my eye felt a little swollen. My stomach ached. My father just hit me again and I had no idea what to do now. Austin left. I couldn't stay here. Amber and Lyss didn't even know about my dad, they just knew the he was never home. So really the only place I could go, was Trevor's.

  I grabbed my phone and pants and ran/limped out to my car. Was it so late already? All the lights were off and there was nobody in sight. The top of my car was down and the cold air rushed at my face as I speeded down the empty neighborhood. The cold air was nice, even as it whipped my hair all around and took my breath away, and not in a good way. Thanks to my speeding, I was at Trevor's house in a short 5 minutes, about half the time it normally takes.

  I stopped the car across the dark street. Casey's car was there. How could I go in there? I didn't want to interrupt their date or whatever was going on in there. Why was I even here? Why would Trevor care if my father hit me? Yeah, maybe he would feel bad for me, but I wasn't looking for a pity party. I don't know how long I sat in my car outside his house. Just… sitting there.

  Eventually Casey and Trevor walked outside, holding hands. He walked her to her car and they stopped by the door. He grabbed her hands in his and kissed each of her fingers, making her giggle. He looked up at her as he finished, and they just stood there for an eternity, staring at each other, whispering words to each other too quietly for me to make out. Then slowly, he bent down and kissed her softly. It was a little kiss that didn't last long, but it was full of promise.

  My heart cringed. A boy had never kissed me like that. I didn't think Casey even realized how lucky she was. Trevor obviously really liked her. She got in her car, and he waved until she had driven down the street and out of sight. Then he sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He looked around and suddenly seemed to notice me sitting in my car, watching him. A small part of me realized that I must have seemed creepy in this dark car outside his house, watching him kiss his girlfriend. But I ignored that part of me. I pretty much ignored all rational thought as I stared at Trevor staring at me.

  All I could really think about was the stinging in my cheek. Trevor was making faces and gesticulating at me. I think he might have been asking what in the world I was doing there. But I made no move to answer him, so he finally just jogged over.

  "Ari, what are you doing here? How long have you been here?" He asked. He almost sounded angry. I didn't respond. Just stared at him. Was I supposed to answer him? What did he ask again? My brain was not working at all. Wow, his hair looked really nice in the moonlight. It almost seemed blue on the top through the light, because it was so dark. I wanted to touch it.

  "Ari, hey uh, Ariana. Are you ok?" Trev asked, waving his hand in front of my face. There was something wrong with me, I think. I mostly just felt a numbness coming all over me. Was I ok? Well my father just slapped me and called me a few things I'd rather not repeat, and I almost just did it for the first time with my boyfriend, but then he ran away. And now… well you're my only friend, Trevor. I didn't say this, because I wasn't sure how to work my mouth.

  Trevor cursed under his breath and pulled the car door open. I stared at him. He sighed again and pulled me out and carried my bridal-style into his house, somehow managing to open the door without dropping me. It was a lot warmer in here than outside in my car. He set me down on the couch and sat across from me. He seemed to notice for the first time that I was wearing nothing but skimpy yoga pants and a bra. Or maybe he saw a bruise somewhere. On my stomach, possibly? Or maybe my face. Either way, he was definitely gawking.

  "Stop staring at me like that," I croaked, my voice hoarse from crying. Oh yeah, maybe he was just looking at the mess that must be my face right now.

  "Ari," he gasped, "What happened to you?"

  Chapter 10 – Makeovers

  "Ari," he gasped, "What happened to you?"

  I just stared at him. My mouth still wasn't working. I closed my eyes for a moment and found myself walking over to Trevor and sitting next to him in the cushy one-person chair he was in. He must have been confused at my strange behavior, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to sit by him and have him hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

  Of course, he's a boy. Therefore he is an idiot, and didn't do either of those things.

  I leaned my head on his shoulder and stared straight ahead at nothing. My eyes started to feel wet, and I realized I was crying. At first they were little sniffles and a few tears leaking out, but soon I was full on bawling and clutching Trevor closer to me. He wrapped his arms around me securely and petted my hair awkwardly while I cried. At least he was trying, right? I snuggled closer to him and tried to stifle my sobbing.

  Eventually I was able to calm down enough to hear him asking me what happened, what was wrong, who did this to me, etc. At first I wouldn't answer, refusing to say a word. Then he started asking yes or no questions, and I was able to nod or shake my head.

  "Are you ok?"

  I shook my head.

  "Are you going to be ok?"

  I hesitated. Would I? Of course I would. I nodded.

  "Do you want to talk about it?"

  I shook my head.

  "Can you tell me who did this to you?"

  I hesitated again. Maybe I could tell him, he must have seen the fear on my face that one day when my father came home. But that would require talking, and I still wasn't sure how to work my mouth, or if I even wanted to. So I shook my head.

  "Am I allowed to guess?"

  I nodded.

  "Was it that loser Austin? You're boyfriend or whatever?" He suddenly sounded really angry, holding me out to face him, though we were still very close. His eyes were burning, why would he be mad?

  I shook my head and he cooled down, pulling me back to him and holding me in his warm embrace once again.

  "Was it—was it your dad?" He asked softly, as if he was afraid of the answer.

  I nodded barely perceptively. His arms tightened around me and his fists were clenched. Even as he held me, my heart slowed and my breathing returned to normal. I closed my eyes and let my body relax as a yawn escaped my lips.

  When I woke up I was laying on Trevor's bed with a huge blanket on top of me. I heard him snoring quietly on the floor below me. When I tried to sit up, my stomach cramped in pain and I fell back with a gasp. All of what happened last night came rushing back to me. Austin. My father. Trevor. I touched my face and felt a cut on the side of my lip. I prodded my cheek softly, definitely bruised. My eyes started watering, but I mentally slapped myself. No crying.

  My cheeks got hot at the thought of all that happened last night and even redder when I realized fully that I was in Trevor's bed. Had I really cried all over him? Had I really acted so creepily? No, maybe this was all a dream and I was going to wake up soon. I pinched my arm.

  "Wake up, wake up," I whispered to myself, closing my eyes.

  "Hey, I've been up for a while now," Trevor whispered back.

  "Oh, uh, sorry," I giggled nervously, still desperately wishing this was a dream. Trevor's face poked up from the foot of the bed. His hair was wild and his eyes were still droopy and a little bloodshot. He smiled at me and kneeled so that he could rest his elbows on the bed.

  "No need. How long have you been up?"

  I shrugged, "Not too long, I guess."

  "You're face looks bad," he said, searching my eyes.

  "I know." I said sarcastically, probably to hide how bad that really offended me.

  "No, no! I didn't mean it like that. I just… What happened Ariana? How did this happen?" He looked remorseful, and how could he know that I tell myself that same thing every day? So I decided to disregard the part about my face looking bad, because in all honesty, it probably did.

  "Well, Austin came over to watch a movie with me and then…" I rambled on until I had gotten the whole story out, exclu
ding the part about just how far Austin and I were about to go. Trevor never interrupted, only nodded and made little noises of agreement or disgust. I was pretty proud of myself by the time I had finished, because I hadn't spilled even one tear.

  As I finished I looked down at my hands, not wanting to make eye contact. I felt Trevor climb up on the bed beside me and slowly scoot closer until he was right next to me. Just as he was leaning close to hug me, a tiny lump at the bottom of the bed underneath the covers wriggled next to my feet. Warm fur touched my toes and I yelped and jumped back, wincing. Trevor started laughing at me and reached under the bed for the furry lump that attacked me.

  He pulled out a tiny silver Alaskan Husky with icy blue eyes and pointy ears. Copper! The adorable little puppy that I got for Trevor a while ago was now cuddling up with him and yipping excitedly. Trevor's eyes were sparking and his smile was infectious. I grinned as well and petted the puppy's soft fur. She stopped snuggling into Trevor for a moment to turn and gaze at me, her bright eyes inquisitive. Copper inspected me for a minute, and seemed to like what she saw.

  Trevor laughed as she started licking my face and hopped on top of me. I played with her for a little while, laughing and bouncing her around the bed. But my stomach started aching, and the bruise on my face was hurting from smiling so much, so I stopped and laid down, staring at the ceiling as Trevor and Copper continued to play. Eventually Trevor noticed my absence and set Copper on the floor so he could lie next to me.

  "You ok?" he asked, turning on his side to face me.

  "I'm ok." I said without looking at him. In my peripheral vision, I saw him frown and look down.

  "Ari, listen-"

  "Look, I don't want to talk about it. Ok? Can we just, like, forget this whole thing even happened?"

  He sighed and nodded his head. Neither of us said anything for a moment.

  "But, thank you, Trevor. For everything." I whispered, finally turning to face him. Pain shot up my side but I ignored it so I could look at him while I said this. He smiled softly and touched my cheek, so gently I almost didn't feel it. I closed my eyes and laid back on my back, smiling to myself. To get my mind off of things, we took Copper for a walk. Trevor didn't have a leash, but he was a surprisingly fast runner, and Copper didn't run off too often anyways. The adorable puppy happily ran in circles around us and explored everything. She discovered grass, and sidewalk, and ladybugs, and she loved them all. The only downfall was her bladder was the size of a peanut. She stopped to pee at every mailbox she found, not to mention all over the grass.