by Sophie Park
“I’ll skin it alive!”’
“I’ll crack apart its skull and drink its brain like the finest ale.”
“I’ll pull out its eyes and make it watch!”
Laughter, cruel and hideous, rang out through the forest. Sandra swallowed a lump in her throat. Two trolls! No wonder they hadn’t been dealt with.
“I’ll tear out its hair and make britches!”
While they were busy bragging about what they were going to do to her, Sandra crept up toward the camp. She unsheathed her sword in one hand and the Bull’s Strength potion in the other.
“I’ll peel off its fingernails and flavor my stew!”
Sandra crept until there was only about a dozen feet between her and the trolls. They were huge and green, with gangly limbs that belied the monstrous strength inside. Their filthy hair hung in ragged tangles from their heads, and they wore only tight-fitting leather breeches which left little to the imagination. Their features were all long and pointed, a grotesque caricature of a human face. Their noses reached down below their chins, their eyes were two sizes too big for their face and they were covered in pustulant warts.
“I’ll break its spine and use its ribs for an instrument!”
“You couldn’t play an instrument if it killed you.”
Sandra swigged the potion.
“It might kill you, though.”
“Ha! It might!”
It tasted like fiery almonds, and burned going down.
“Where were we?”
Sandra pulled out a clay pot filled with Greek fire. When she threw it at them, it would shatter and cover them in the liquid which, when exposed to air, would ignite.
“Spine breaking.”
Sandra leapt out of the shadows and charged the creatures, throwing the Greek fire while shrieking a fearsome battle cry. Between the flame and the shouting, it might momentarily confuse them and give her the upper hand.
At least, that’s what she meant to do.
When she landed inside the fire’s light, her legs refused to support her. Her knees got all wobbly and she nearly fell. When she tried to throw the fire, her arm became numb and the pot collapsed to the ground, unbroken. When she tried to brandish her sword, her fingers wouldn’t work and it collapsed into the dirt.
“Whuh?”
“Ha ha ha!” One of the trolls reared up to its full, impressive height. “Looks like the mayor delivered us another would-be hero!”
“Huh?” Sandra couldn’t even make her mouth work. She fell to her knees and the world swam in and out of sight. Black spots appeared all over her vision, nearly blocking out the towering mass of troll in front of her.
“Dibs on spine-breaking!”
“Not before I eat her eyes.”
Sandra fought it, but the darkness was coming too fast. Too strong! She fell on her face in the dirt.
*
“Your hair is beautiful!” The mayor’s eldest daughter, who was twenty-two, tall, blonde and curvy in all of the right places, ran a comb through Mira’s hair. After a week on the road, the comb was pulling out quite a number of tangles.
“Thank-you…” Mira didn’t know what to make of all the attention.
She’d haggled hard with the man at the general goods store, although not as hard as she could have. She appreciated how dire his situation was, but it was not like hers was much better. Yes, the queen gave them a lot of money, but with two horses, two people and a week on the road it was disappearing faster than either of them expected. Not to mention that, if they did succeed, they would still be on the run until they could find a place where no one knew them.
Well, hopefully at that point they’d have a dragon’s hoard to help fund their expedition.
“What made you go into squiring?” The mayor’s youngest daughter, twenty, brunette and straight as a willow, sat on the edge of her bed knocking her knees together. It struck Mira that neither of them looked very much alike, and that she didn’t see their mother anywhere.
“It was that or the headman’s block.” Mira cracked a smile. They both laughed. She was right, the truth was too outrageous to believe.
“Fine.”
“Don’t tell us!”
“Do you always dress so… scandalously?”
“What?” Mira looked down at her clothes. They seemed the picture of modesty. She wore a long sleeved shirt, buttoned all the way to her throat, and heavy leather pants. She’d initially been embarrassed to wear them to the mayor’s house, but since she had nothing else there was nothing for it.
The mayor’s daughters, on the other hand, wore extravagant gowns with plunging necklines and skirts that barely reached past their knees.
“Those… pants! Look at them! Everyone can see your legs!” The blonde stopped combing to point at her legs.
“They are nice legs…”
“I have to ride all day!” Mira couldn’t imagine wearing anything else. “A skirt would kill me.”
“What about side saddle.”
“For eight hours?” Mira raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Oh! I guess so!” The blonde giggled as she said it. “Still! It must be… freeing to be able to wear whatever’s comfortable.”
“I suppose so.” Mira hadn’t thought about it, but the blonde was right. It was freeing. After spending so long in the castle where proper attire was enforced even on the lowliest of maids, being on the road with Sandra was a glorious adventure. “Adventuring is nothing like I thought it would be!”
“Oh?” The blonde didn’t look very interested.
“What do you mean?” The brunette leaned forward excitedly.
“I thought it would be all adventure and excitement.” Mira considered. “And danger! But… well, it’s mostly been a lot of horseback riding and conversation.”
“Oh.”
“How dull…” The mayor’s youngest daughter looked disappointed. “Sandra, that guard, she seemed pretty exciting though!”
“Oh, is she ever!” Mira’s eyes lit up. “She took on a dragon by herself!”
“Really?” Both girls leaned in.
“Haven’t you heard? Oh! Of course not… okay… we were in the courtyard of the castle.” Mira left out the ‘in chains’ part. “And the prince was returning from a day at the market. He’s so handsome…”
“Oh…”
“Don’t I know it?” Both girls pretended to fan themselves when they said it. “We saw him on a visit to the capital once! Dreamy!”
“Anyway. He was coming to the castle when it struck. It was huge! Its wings blotted out the sky and it set the courtyard on fire.”
“Oh!”
“Oh no!”
“Everyone ran when it arrived. Bits of the castle were flying, and all the guards hid from the fire it was breathing everywhere. Except Sandra.” Mira’s eyes got wide and her gaze got distant as she remembered the incident. “She drew her sword and ran straight at it. At the last moment she jumped and stabbed it right in the leg.”
“Then what?”
“Well, it tossed her off like a doll.” Mira laughed. At the time it wasn’t funny, but picturing it in her mind’s eye it was. “Then the dragon flew off with the prince… so I guess it’s not a very impressive story.”
“No!”
“It’s great! She sounds amazing.” The youngest had a dreamy smile on her face too, as if imaging herself standing up to a dragon. “Hey! Before dinner, we should sneak a little treat!”
“Oh, naughty! Dad would kill us if he caught us!”
“I don’t want to get you two in trouble…”
“Nonsense! Look, I have something right here… we don’t even have to leave.” The youngest pulled up the skirt of her bed and pulled out a tray of small brown confections. Mira kept quiet, but couldn’t help but think to herself that if the mayor’s daughter thought that place was secret from the maids she was sorely mistaken.
“Ooh. What are those?” Mira stood up out of the chair, and away from the punishing brush
, to get a better look at the confections. She’d never seen anything like them. They were as small as a coin, hard and a solid brown color. They didn’t look like cake or bread or hard sugar at all.
“Chocolates.”
“From the untamed south.”
“Want one?”
The two girls’ voices formed a sort of sing-song as they took turns speaking. Mira wondered if they practiced that trick to be able to pull it off so well.
“I don’t know… if it will get you in trouble…”
“Go ahead!”
“They’re divine.”
“I guess…” Mira’s arm didn’t need much twisting. Adventuring was freeing, but she’d never had much chance in her life to eat sweets, now or earlier. Pangs of jealousy rose up as she thought about the difference between her upbringing, and one where the most you had to worry about was whether your father would be mad about sneaking treats before dinner.
Trying not to overthink it, Mira grabbed one of them and popped it in her mouth.
“Oh wow…” It was hard to talk with her mouth full, but it was hard not to talk. So good! Bitter and a little sweet and rich and delicious, with something creamy in the center… Mira felt her knees go weak. She wanted to just eat all of them right now, but that would of course not be very gracious. “Delicious…”
“Don’t they have chocolate in the castle?”
“It seems like the kind of delicacy the queen might have all the time.”
“Mmm… no, I don’t recall.” Mira felt her head swimming a little, and there was a strangely acrid aftertaste to the chocolate. Definitely worth it, though…
The floor rose up to greet her. Did it want chocolate too?
Drugged! Mira sprawled on the floor, her limbs refusing to do what she told them. She could feel blackness swarming around her and rising up to claim her…
They poisoned her?
They seemed so nice…
“Dad!”
“Father!”
“It’s done? Good.” Heavy, male steps came into the room. Mira couldn’t react, but she could still hear what was going on. “Soon that guard bitch will be killed by the trolls, and now we can deal with this one.”
Trolls? She had to warn Sandra. Tears stung in her eyes… there was no way she could.
“I don’t know, dad. She seemed pretty capable.”
“And this one said she attacked a dragon single-handedly! Anyone who can do that must be able to take on a few trolls.”
“Don’t worry. One: not even that paladin could deal with the trolls. And two: I gave her a bit of liquid help.” The mayor laughed cruelly.
“Oh!”
“Goody!” His daughters joined in.
“Now. Help me make up a story about this one. A worthy sacrifice to the troll or something… we can’t have her returning to the capital and telling the queen what’s going on here.”
*
Sandra returned to consciousness slowly. The world swam and spun as it came back into focus, refusing to stay still for more than a few moments at a time. The air was filled with a rank smoke that caught in her throat and burned her eyes. There was something tall and hard digging into her back, pushing splinters into her skin.
Her armor was gone!
Her hands were bound behind her, wrapped backward around the pole pressed against her back, keeping her from moving. The cloth tying them together was rough but sturdy. At least she was alive! With the last conversation the trolls had been having, she expected to be dead now.
The trolls!
They were resolving back into focus in front of her, seated around the fire which was giving off the terrible-smelling smoke.
“Ah! She’s awake!” One of the trolls turned its hideous head towards her and leered horribly.
“I… mm… huh?”
“Wondering why you’re alive, hmm?”
“Y... a?” Proper speech was elusive in returning.
“The poison.” The troll stuck out his tongue. “Tastes terrible if it’s still in your system.”
“Tastes?”
“When we eat you, of course.”
“Silly human.” The other, busy poking the fire, didn’t turn to look at her when he spoke. There was something more horrible about that: he wouldn’t even face her, even though he was going to eat her.
Eat her!
“Cannibals!”
“What?”
“No!”
They both turned and looked at her seriously at that point. The second’s face had that strange, melted-wax look to it just like the first one did. It was a common feature of trolls, apparently.
“What?” Sandra looked between the two of them, surprised. She could feel herself regaining control rapidly, but tried to keep slurring her words so they wouldn’t notice. “You’re going to eat me! You’re cannibals!”
“We’re not eating troll.” The first one stuck out its tongue in disgust. “Ergo, not cannibals.”
“Ergo?” Sandra used her newfound focus to explore the cloth binding her with her fingers. They had big fingers, which meant they tied indelicate knots. She thought that if she could just work at it long enough, she would get free.
In the meantime, she needed to keep them talking.
“It surprises you that I might have a touch of elegance?”
“You mean eloquence?”
They glared at her.
“Anyway, you’re eating another sentient being, so you’re cannibals.”
“That’s not what it means!” The first troll stood up and was pacing back and forth across the camp. It had extremely long legs, so it covered the length of the clearing in two paces before turning back. “If a tiger eats a human, is it a cannibal?”
“Not the same.”
“Sure it is! You’re saying the tiger is a cannibal!”
“It doesn’t know the difference.” Sandra rubbed the cloth up and down against the pike she was tied to while she worked at the knot with her fingers. If she couldn’t untie it, maybe she could just fray it off with friction.
She needed time.
“The tiger can’t hold a conversation with its prey, it can’t know right from wrong.”
“So our curse is intelligence? If I was a mindless beast, you wouldn’t be accusing me of cannibalism?”
“Right.” Sandra was surprised that they were so interested in this line of conversation, but it was working to her advantage.
While she tried to think of her rebuttal, Sandra looked around the camp. There wasn’t much: the fire, some makeshift beds made out of leaves, and a pile of… well, loot. Her armor and weapons were there, as well as the armor and weapons from at least two other people. One set looked like standard mercenary gear, but the other included shiny new pieces of plate mail and a sword which glowed faintly.
Magic?
She hoped so.
“With intelligence comes moral responsibility, which includes not eating other sentient beings.”
“I still don’t buy it.” The troll came close enough that its nose was inches from hers. Sandra stopped fraying the cloth, but kept working the knot. “Cannibals eat their own species. We’re different species.”
“Sure. If that helps you sleep…”
“I sleep on the bones of my enemies!” The troll stood and raised its arms in triumph, turning as he did so.
Sandra was free.
This was her chance.
She didn’t know if she had the strength yet, but she had to try it. Gritting her teeth, she pulled away from the pike and punched the troll in the small of the back. Hoping against the odds, she went into her boot and grabbed for the dagger she normally kept there.
Success!
Sandra fell to her knees and sliced the knife across the troll’s Achilles’ heels, severing them in two vicious strokes. The creature yelled in shocked pain and fell to his knees. Sandra leapt up and forward, driving her knees into his back and forcing him forward.
Toward the fire.
The troll
’s shout turned to panic, but it was too late. Sandra used her momentum to ride him until he landed with his stomach on the fire pit. The stink of burning troll flesh immediately replaced the rank smoke in the air as the worst smell available, and Sandra was forced to roll off the troll as he swatted at her.
“You!” The second troll lumbered to its feet and swung at where Sandra had been standing.
His brother’s head.
The second troll’s heavy hand struck the downed troll in the back of the head, stunning him and momentarily stopping his attempts to roll out of the fire.
That gave Sandra all the time she needed. She grabbed her sword from the loot pile, darted forward, and drove it through the meaty part of the downed troll’s upper body, between the shoulder blade and the spine. When it wouldn’t go any further, she jumped on top of it and drove the tip deep into the ground.
The troll was dazed from the punch, so he didn’t react much to the pain of the sword going in, but soon began to panic when he realized it was pinning him to the ground.
To the fire.
The one thing that could kill a troll, and he was lying on it.
Sandra didn’t have time to try and keep him down, she would have to rely on the sword to do that. The second troll bellowed and threw a heavy backhand at her. She rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding the hit, and then out of instinct she rolled to the side. That was good, because the troll’s second strike was a heavy overhand blow to the ground where her first roll finished. Either hit could have taken her head off her shoulders, or at least ruined her day pretty badly, so it was good she dodged both.
Now that this troll was in fighting mode, it moved quickly and fluidly. Sandra didn’t have a chance to gather herself or hit back before he started to launch a concentrated combo of punches. Jabs and hooks flew at her, and she knew better than to block. She gave ground with each attack, backpedaling into the forest as fast as she could.
After a particularly vicious left hook that Sandra just barely made it out of the way of, she heard the distinct ‘ka-thunk’ of a trap going off. She leapt forward, rolling between the troll’s legs, and heard him howl in pain as a wooden stake stabbed right through his arm. She stood back up after the roll to see him pulling the stake out and smashing it against the ground. The wound closed up almost immediately, leaving no trace of the damage, and the troll gave her a hideous grin.
