by Jaden Kent
“And then there’s the Spring Festival of Friendship,” Dragon Thumper added. “People come to our castle from villages all across the land and we all smash the straw out of a fake dragon together!”
“But the best festival of all is the Winter Festival of Hugs and Kindness,” Barry said.
“Ooooh! You’re right! That is the best one!” Dragon Thumper agreed.
“Because you smack all the straw out of a fake dragon?” Ella asked.
“Don’t be silly!” Barry said. “We all share in a great feast and show our kindness and love toward all creatures.”
“That does sound kinda nice,” Owen said.
“And then we smack all the straw out of a fake dragon!” Dragon Crusher said.
“Why do you hate dragons so much?” Ella asked.
“I don’t know,” Dragon Crusher said with a shrug. “Maybe because they’re all made of straw?” he added.
“And if we ever, ever see a real dragon, we’ll prove it’s made of straw and hate it even more,” Dragon Thumper said.
“We hate whatever they’re made of!” Dragon Stomper said.
“I hate dragons because my dad hated dragons,” Barry explained. “And my dad’s dad hated dragons, and his dad hated dragons, and then his dad hated kittens, but his dad hated dragons, and . . .”
“And his dad hated dragons. We get it,” Ella said with a sigh.
“Actually, his mom hated dragons, but her dad hated dragons,” Barry said. “Oh, and kittens, too.”
“If none of you have ever even met a dragon, why do you hate them?” Owen asked.
“Because they’re made of straw!” Dragon Crusher replied. “So, duh.”
“No one told me there was going to be a test,” Dragon Thumper whined.
“What was that?” Ella whispered to her brother.
“Don’t look now,” Owen whispered back, “but your tail is about to pop out of your armor.”
“Uh-oh,” she exclaimed.
5
KITTENS!
“T
hanks, guys! It’s been swell, but we gotta fly—I mean run!” Owen said in a panic. He grabbed Ella and pulled her toward the castle gates. “See you later, Dragon Crusher and Dragon Stomper and Dragon Thumper and Dragon Cupid and Dragon Donner and Dragon Blitzen!”
“Where ya going?” Dragon Thumper called out. “We were all gonna go see if there were any princesses locked up in towers by a mean witch and need saving!”
“Uh, we’re going to Dragon Patch!” Owen said without thinking.
“Ooooh! We’ll come along and help you knock the straw outta them dragons!” Dragon Stomper yelled with a cheer. “That’s a lot more fun than saving princesses!”
An annoyed Ella shouted, “Dragons aren’t made of straw!”
“Pffft. Then what are they made out of? Dragon?” Barry chuckled.
Before Ella and Owen could make their escape, their knights’ armor sprung off their bodies.
Snouts! Wings! Tails! Claws!
Without any armor to hide their bodies, their true selves were revealed.
“Kittens!” Dragon Stomper shouted.
“Those aren’t kittens! Those’re, uh, um, uh . . .” Dragon Thumper scratched his head.
“Not kittens?” Ella asked.
“That’s it! Not kittens! They must be DRAGONS!” Dragon Thumper shouted.
“RUN!” Owen shouted as he and Ella flew from the castle.
“CHASE!” Barry shouted and led the charge.
“We can’t lead them back to Dragon Patch!” Owen said as the two dragons flew for their lives. “That’d be a worse idea than disguising ourselves as knights!”
“We need to lose them! What’s the one thing knights hate more than anything?” Ella asked.
“Days!” Owen replied. “Get it? ’Cause they’re knights?” Owen explained.
“Are your scales too scaly?!” Ella asked. “We’re being chased by four knights with very long and very pointy swords and you’re telling dumb jokes?!”
“Funny jokes!” Owen said. “Dumb jokes!”
“Funny jokes!”
“DUMB JOKES!” Ella shouted.
The two dragons flapped their wings as quickly as they could, but they couldn’t lose the four knights pursuing them on the ground below.
“I know! Let’s fly into Terror Swamp!” Ella said.
“That idea is even worse than my last joke!” Owen said.
“It’s a great idea! Even those knights aren’t dumb enough to follow us into Terror Swamp!” Ella happily exclaimed.
6
WORST HOLIDAY EVER!
“T
hose sure are some dumb knights,” Ella sighed and let out a puff of smoke as the knights followed them into Terror Swamp.
“Aw, dragon scales! What do we do now?” Owen asked.
Ella and Owen landed and were hiding behind a huge pile of moss that began to move.
“Uh, Ella? Why is our hiding place moving?” Owen asked.
“ROAR!” The moss-pile-that-was-not-a-moss-pile howled. Slimy moss arms covered in swamp beetles reached for Ella.
“It’s a Beetle-Covered Bog Moss-ter!” Owen shouted.
The green Beetle-Covered Bog Moss-ter was covered in smelly moss and towered above Ella and Owen. It looked like a giant pile of cooked spinach with legs, arms, and a huge mouth!
“GWAAAAAAAR!” the Beetle-Covered Bog Moss-ter roared as it chased Ella and Owen.
“There they are!” Dragon Crusher shouted the moment he spotted Ella and Owen.
“Dragon tails! Now we’ve gotta lose a Beetle-Covered Bog Moss-ter and four goofball knights!” Owen complained as they fled deeper into Terror Swamp.
“I’ve got an idea! Follow me!” Ella flew toward a distant light that was barely visible through the swamp vines and trees.
As they flew closer to the light, they realized it was a camp. A troll camp to be exact.
“I don’t care if those trolls live in the most awesome tent in the world, we are not sneaking closer to get a better look,” a worried Owen whispered.
“You don’t need to tell me twice,” Ella said with a gulp.
The two trolls in the camp were big. And ugly. And smelly. And very ugly. And hairy. And very, very ugly. And loud. And very, very, very ugly.
A banner that said HAPPY KNIGHTS DAY hung over the campsite. The trolls propped up a scarecrow dressed as a knight and cheered, “Hooray for Knights Day!”
“I’m really starting to think that we live in a very weird place,” Owen said. “But what’s the plan?”
As if to answer Owen, the Beetle-Covered Bog Moss-ter saw the trolls and fearfully ran in the opposite direction, leaving the dragons alone.
“See! Everyone’s afraid of trolls!” Ella said.
“Including me!” Owen gulped.
“Now we just need the trolls to scare away those knights,” Ella added. “Where are they, anyhow?”
Suddenly, the knights pounced on Ella and Owen, capturing them in a net.
“We got you kittens!” Dragon Thumper said with a chuckle.
“Dragons!” Barry corrected.
“Shhhh!” Dragon Stomper pointed to the HAPPY KNIGHTS DAY banner.
“Knights Day?” Barry read. “What’s that?”
“Oh, just a little troll holiday.” Ella pointed to the trolls, who kicked around the fake knight as if it were a soccer ball.
“Wow,” Dragon Crusher said. “Worst holiday ever.”
7
MERRILY WE TROLL ALONG
T
he sight of the trolls filled the four knights with dread.
“I bet those trolls would never be brave enough to do that to a real knight,” Ella said, hoping to trick the knights into leaving her and Owen alone so they could escape.
“I know if I was a knight, I’d show those ol’ trolls they couldn’t mess with me,” Owen said, with a sly wink to Ella.
The four knights looked at the huge trolls, who were at least twice the
ir height.
“They sure are big. . . .” Barry said.
“And ugly . . .” Dragon Crusher said.
“If they’re made of straw, we can crush them,” Dragon Thumper quietly said in a timid voice. “You go first, Barry.”
“I’m always going first! You go first, Dragon Crusher!” Barry said.
“I went first last time!” Dragon Crusher protested. “It’s Dragon Stomper’s turn!”
As the knights bickered about whose turn it was to go first because none of them were brave enough, Ella realized that the trolls had heard them and were coming this way.
“I think this would be a good time to hide!” she whispered to Owen.
The two dragons wriggled free from the net and hid behind a tree.
The four knights stopped bickering when a shadow fell over them. They looked up to see the big, smelly, and very ugly trolls looking down at them.
“What kind of kittens is you?” one troll asked.
“W-w-we’re n-not k-kittens. . . .” Barry stammered. “W-w-we’re k-k-k-k-k-knights.”
“Them is the worst kinda kittens!” the second troll yelled with a huff.
“Mommy,” Dragon Stomper squeaked.
The trolls snatched up the knights like little dolls and carried them back to their camp.
“Tails and snails! Now we can finally go home!” Owen started to fly toward Dragon Patch, but he was the only one in the air. “You know, we can’t go home unless we actually go home,” he said to Ella.
Ella didn’t say a word. She just started to collect moss to make a disguise.
Owen slumped back to the ground. “Let me guess. You want us to save the knights from the trolls?”
“Yep,” Ella said. “It’s part of the Dragon Code.”
“We don’t have a Dragon Code,” Owen replied.
“Well, we should have one,” Ella explained. “And rescuing knights is a good way to start.”
“Oh, fine!” Owen said, grabbing a handful of moss.
8
WORST PLAN EVER
“Y
ou did it, sis,” Owen said as they flew toward the troll camp. “You actually came up with a plan a bazillion times worse than your last one.”
Using the moss they had collected around Terror Swamp, the two dragons were disguised as troll fairies.
“We’ll just tell the trolls that we’re troll fairies and we’re here to give them a wish,” Ella explained. “And by the time the trolls figure out that we’re not, we’ll be long gone with the knights.”
Ella fluttered into the troll camp. A frightened Owen followed, covering his eyes with his claws.
The four knights were tied to a tree next to the trolls, who were making a huge cauldron of lasagna.
“Oh, helllllllooooooo!” Ella chimed as she glided past one of the trolls. “My name is Sparkly Sparkle Glitter Pop! I’m a troll fairy and I’ve come to grant you a wish!”
“Me think us should eat it, Dumberdoor,” one troll said the moment he saw Ella.
“Me think us should toss it into lasagna and then eat it, Dumbdalf,” Dumberdoor answered with a grunt.
“B-but I’m a troll fairy! If you eat me, I can’t grant you a wish!” Ella cried with a gulp.
“I, uh, thought troll fairies be smelly and ugly?” Dumbdalf asked.
“Have you met my brother, Smelly McUgly the troll fairy?” Ella nudged Owen forward.
“H-hi. I-I-I’m Smelly McUgly the t-t-troll fairy,” a frightened Owen stammered.
“Wow, that one
ugly and smelly troll fairy,” Dumberdoor said in agreement.
“Now what would you like to wish for?” Ella waved her claws around as if conjuring magic.
“Um, me wish you get into lasagna so us eat you,” Dumbdalf answered.
“Really? I can grant you a wish . . . any wish, and all you can come up with is to make me into lasagna?!” Ella was feeling more courageous. “Come on! I can grant you any wish you want! You guys’ve gotta think BIGGER!”
“Okay! Okay! Me got good one!” Dumberdoor said excitedly and smiled to Dumbdalf. “You ready? It totally best wish! Me wish that Sparkly Sparkle Glitter Pop and Smelly McUgly get into lasagna so us eat you both!”
“Ooooh! That is good wish!” Dumbdalf gave Dumberdoor a high five. “Me wish me thought of that one!”
“Fine. We’ll both get into the lasagna so you can eat us,” Ella proclaimed with a sigh. “But! Before we grant your wish, you must complete a challenge!”
“Is challenge to eat you?” Dumbdalf asked.
“No, you’ve gotta find . . . a talking platypus!” Ella said.
“A talking pink platypus!” Owen added to his sister’s plan, hoping to make the task so impossible that the trolls would never be able to do it.
“Named Platyplat-plat-plat!” Ella said, trying to not giggle.
“And he has to play the ukulele!” Owen said, doing his best to not laugh.
“Upside down,” Ella finished.
The two trolls scratched their heads, confused.
“Me gotta find talking pink what-
a-pus named Platyplat-plat-plat. . . .” Dumberdoor began.
“And he gotta play uke-something, uh, upside down?” Dumbdalf added.
“You got it! Now get to it!” Ella cheered.
The none-too-bright trolls rushed off into Terror Swamp on their impossible mission.
“We’ll never see those two again!” Ella excitedly flapped her wings faster.
“How come I’ve always gotta be the smelly and ugly one?!” Owen complained as he tore off his disguise.
“You know what they say: ‘If the wings fit . . . ’” Ella pulled off her disguise and used her claws to slash the ropes that held the knights.
“I . . . I don’t understand. Why are you saving us?” a confused Barry asked.
“Because we want to show you that not all dragons are bad,” Ella answered.
“Is that why we’re doing this?!” A surprised Owen smacked the ground with his tail. “I thought we were doing this so they’d give us some stinky fish strudel!”
“And to get some stinky fish strudel,” Ella added, wrinkling her snout.
“Thanks for helping us and showing us the error of our ways,” Dragon Stomper said. “We’ll never crush dragons again.”
“There go all the best holidays,” Dragon Crusher whined.
“Instead of using holidays as an excuse to attack fake dragons, why don’t you use them as a time to really help others?” Owen asked.
“Oh yeah. That sounds so much more fun than bashing the straw out of dragons,” Dragon Crusher said sarcastically.
“Is it too late to put them into the lasagna?” Owen asked Ella.
9
ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WITH NO ONE GETTING EATEN
E
lla, Owen, and the four knights returned to the castle and were greeted with cheers of “Hurray! Hurray! The knights of Camelnot have captured whatever those things are!” by the villagers.
“No! No! No! We didn’t capture them!” Dragon Crusher quickly corrected. “They’re our friends!”
“They’re dragons,” Dragon Thumper explained.
This shocking news was met by a chorus of cheers. “Hurray! Hurray! The knights of Camelnot made friends with evil dragons!”
“No! No! No! They’re nice!” Dragon Stomper quickly corrected. “Not all dragons are evil!”
“Not evil?!” a villager named Byron said with a scoff. “Next you’re gonna try to tell us that they’re not made of straw!”
“We’re not!” Ella finally spoke up.
“Then what are you made of?!” Byron laughed. “Dragon?!”
“It doesn’t matter what they’re made of,” Dragon Stomper added. “What does matter is that we’ve been wrong about them this whole time and we need to treat them as equals!”
“Equals?! ” a villager named Gwendolyn gasped. “There go all the best holidays!”
The bard held up
his mandolin. “What am I supposed to do with this if I can’t bash straw dragons with it?”
“You could try playing music with it,” Owen said.
“You can play
music on these things?!” the shocked bard asked. “Really?”
“And now, to give thanks for all that Ella and Owen have done for us, we knights of Camelnot have taken new names!” Barry announced.
“From henceforth, I shall be called Sir Dragon Buddy!” Dragon Crusher called out.
“And I want to be known as Sir Dragon Pal,” Dragon Stomper proclaimed with a cheer.
“And I will be Sir Dragon Don’t-Quite-
Love-Them-Yet-But-Don’t-Exactly-Hate-
Them-Anymore,” Dragon Thumper said.
Barry proclaimed, “And from this day forward, I shall be forever known as . . . Carl.”
The knights and villagers of Camelnot bowed deeply as Ella and Owen waved good-bye—but not before Owen made sure to get the stinkiest fish strudel in the castle.
