While I stare at it in my hand, waiting for the voice mail I’m sure she’s recording, Cameron says, “Is everything all right?”
The phone buzzes with a voice mail alert, so I put up my finger to let him know I’ll be a second and listen to Josie’s message.
“Hi, Mom, we all hope you’re feeling better. According to Uncle Alex, we’re about two hours away, but Aunt Julia,” she says in a deathly whisper, “says it’s more like an hour and a half if he listens to her directions. Anyway, they’ll be dropping me off soon and I can’t wait to see you. Love you. Bye.”
I turn around to see Cameron is still in my bed, his jet-black hair is a tousled mess and makes him look delectably sleepy and sexy. And for a brief second, my thoughts edge on running my fingers through it while he does things to me. But sanity prevails.
“Cameron, can we talk about this later?” I ask. “That was Josie, she’s almost home. And I would really rather not have to explain this to her just yet. Especially since I was supposed to be sick.”
The corner of his mouth lifts in a grin. “Well, you were sick.”
“Yes, I was, but thanks to . . . you, I’m feeling much better.”
He rubs his jaw as his face breaks into a beautiful smile. “You’re welcome.” He finally kicks the comforter off and swings his legs over the side of the bed. Slowly, he pads over to where I’m standing in front of my dresser and stops just a breath away from me. “Before I go home, since it seems we are doing things backward and I would love to spend more time with you, please say yes to my next question, okay?”
I press my lips together to keep from giggling, because that’s how light and free and young he makes me feel when he says such sweet things. So I simply nod, assuming that his question is what I think it is.
“Let me take you out to dinner.”
“That’s not really a question,” I say to him.
“No, it’s not, but you already agreed by nodding your head. So, I’ll be in touch to see what night works best for you, okay?”
“Okay.”
With that, I follow him downstairs and open the door. He starts to walk out but hesitates, and a little bit of that shyness that he’s showed me before creeps across his features. I have somehow stumbled upon a man who is willing to take things slow for me because he realizes that I need it to be that way. But I can tell that he’s unsure as well, which relaxes me instantly because it’s like we’re on an even playing field.
“Cameron,” I say to him and take his hand in mine. “I’m not spooked by what happened before, I need you to know that. I . . .”
“You what?” he asks with an expectant look in his eyes.
“I liked it.”
He smiles and bends down to place a kiss on my forehead before ducking out the door; I close it behind him, my smile matching his as I lean against it.
After I’ve showered and taken another dose of the antibiotics and eaten something, I’m already feeling so much better than I was yesterday. About an hour or so later, much sooner than Alex had projected, I hear his car pull up outside, so I press the pause button on the movie I was watching.
I’m nervous that Josie will be able to tell from the look on my face that something happened while she was gone. But maybe that will be a good way to open up a conversation about dating her teacher, even though she’s already on board. I want to make double and triple sure before I move forward any more than I already have.
The front door flies open and Josie comes running in. “Mom, we had the best time!”
She gives me a big hug while I’m still on the couch, and right behind her walk in Alex, Julia, and my niece, Violet.
“Are you feeling better?” Josie asks and presses her palm across my forehead. “You’re not warm anymore.”
“I’m feeling much better, kid.”
“Mom, I so wish you could have been there with us. Oh my God, that new Hogwarts Express train is the coolest thing ever! We have to go back so I can show you!”
Over her shoulder, I say a quick hello to Alex and Julia and ask Violet if she enjoyed herself.
Violet says as she rubs her eyes, “I had fun, Aunt Nessa, but I’m so tired.”
Josie says to her, “Violet, remember you wanted me to show you something in my room?”
Violet’s face lights up again and she makes a beeline to the stairs, with Josie right behind her to make sure she doesn’t fall.
“Be careful,” I yell and then look at my brother and his wife, who seem exhausted. “What about you guys?”
Julia comes to sit next to me and throws her feet up on the coffee table. “I need alcohol, a hot bath, and another vacation. Not necessarily in that order.”
Alex sits down next to Julia. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Are you kidding?” she says. “There is something to be said about those harnesses you see parents using.”
“They’re leashes, and no, our daughter will not be wearing one. Ever.”
She crosses her arms and smiles. “Fine, then you’ll chase after her the next time she runs away and straight into a gift shop and hides inside one of the clothing displays and thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world.”
“Violet did that?” I ask, trying not to laugh too hard.
“Yes,” Julia says. She points her thumb over at Alex. “This one was busy getting a butterbeer, or so he says.”
“What do you mean, ‘or so he says’? I was getting a butterbeer, and I finished it by the time I met up with you again.”
“Yeah, right,” she says under her breath. “Anyway, how are you feeling? You were missed, but Josie had a really good time and as always, was impeccably behaved. Wish I could say the same about my demon child.”
“I’m much better, thanks,” I say. “Still a little tired, but my throat’s not that sore anymore and the fever is finally gone.”
It’s then that Julia notices the television and tilts her head to the side at the scene at which I paused the movie.
“Um, Vanessa,” she says. “Have you started stalking Harrison Ford? Do I need to be concerned?”
“No!”
“Okay, then tell me why you’ve asked me recently if he’s hot and then I come over and boom, here you are watching Regarding Henry. Seems fishy.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Alex asks, propping his feet up on the coffee table as well.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say in a rush. I attempt to grab the remote to change the channel, but Julia beats me to it and snatches it up first.
“Spill. Details. Now,” she commands.
I look over toward the stairs to make sure Josie isn’t coming back anytime soon before filling Julia in on what’s been happening with Cameron, up until he left a couple of hours ago. “So that’s it. I guess I’ll be going out with him soon, and I’m a little nervous but I’m looking forward to it.”
Julia looks at Alex and asks, “Did you know about this and not tell me?”
“No,” he says, with his eyes closed and looking like he’s about to fall asleep any second.
“Okay, so, you’re nervous. That’s totally normal.”
“It’s been a while,” I say.
Julia leans forward and asks in a whisper, “How long?”
“Long.”
“That long, huh?”
“Yeah,” I say and rub my face with my hands. “So I’m trying to get the hang of the rules of dating and all that good stuff.”
Her smile widens wickedly. “It’s like baseball.”
“What’s like baseball?” Alex asks, popping back into the conversation.
“Sex,” she says.
“How so?” he asks with a laugh.
“Well, you know like the first date is first base which equals a kiss. The second date is second base, which means it’s at least a tit grab or something. Then by the third date, it’s a home run and you go all the way.”
“You skipped over third base, which is impossible,” Alex says with a grin. �
�You have to step on third base; if not, you might not be waved home.”
“You say toe-may-toe, I say tah-mah-toe,” she says back to him.
“Why are we talking about this anyway?” he asks her.
“I’m giving sex advice to Vanessa.”
Alex looks at me with his eyes wide and in shock. “Vanessa, do not listen to whatever craziness my wife just explained to you. You take all the time in the world and for the love of God, please use protection. And you,” he says to Julia. “Stop being nosy.”
Her laughter fills the room like a wild hyena’s. “I’m not being nosy. She asked for it.”
Alex stands up and goes over to where Julia is from behind the couch. He bends down and gives her an upside-down kiss on the lips, then says, “I love you, but please do not flood her brain with all this baseball sex nonsense.”
He goes upstairs to check on the girls, leaving me alone with Julia, who’s still laughing. “Don’t listen to him,” she says.
“Seriously, should I be worried that he’ll expect to . . . you know?” I ask her. My mind is now in overdrive as I wonder if our next time out equals second base or is a second date, or is it technically our first date / first base situation. I feel as if we blew past first and second this morning, but we haven’t even kissed yet. Oh my God, I’m going to throw up.
“Relax, Vanessa,” she says. “You look like you’re gonna boot. Listen, if he’s half the gentleman you made him out to be, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Okay, if you say so,” I say but my mind is still racing a mile a minute. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
Julia leans forward again. “Do you want to know something else?”
“What?” I answer.
“The older you get, the better the sex,” she says. “It’s true, especially with men. When they’re young bucks all they think about is trying to hit it, and it’s over pretty quick. As they get older and more mature, they realize they won’t be able to hit it again and again if they don’t make it worth the while for the woman. That means that they’ll do just about anything to please you and make sure you . . . you know, before they . . .”
She wiggles her eyebrows like some crazy cartoon character. It occurs to me I have no idea how old Cameron is, which makes me feel like a buffoon. Because here I am going to first and maybe second base earlier today with the man, and contemplating having sex with him, and yet I don’t know if he’s old enough to vote.
“What’s wrong now?” Julia asks. “Did I freak you out? Listen, what I said about doing just about anything doesn’t mean anal or anything. I mean that could happen if that sort of thing floats your boat. And if you do anal, my friend, Sarah, says—”
“I’m not thinking about anal!” I shriek in horror. “I’m realizing that I don’t know a lot about him.”
“Vanessa, that’s what the date part of the night is for.” She pauses and takes a good long look at me. “I know it’s been a long time and all, but you do remember the ‘getting to know you’ part of dating, right?”
“Of course I do. I’m not that stupid.”
I am that stupid, apparently. But I don’t dare voice that to Julia. I can still remedy this before any physical relationship goes further with Cameron the next time we see each other. My mind is drifting to all the questions I should ask him when Alex and Violet come back downstairs, with Josie trailing behind.
“I want to go home, Mommy,” she says in a whimper, climbing on top of Julia.
Julia cradles her in her arms and kisses her cheeks. “Me too, sweet pea, Mommy’s very tired.”
“Mommy, will you naptime with me? Pretty, pretty, pretty please?”
“You don’t have to ask me twice, baby.”
Julia, with Violet still in her arms, says a quick good-bye, as does Alex. Before they leave though, Julia makes sure to let me know that if I need any more advice to give her a call. What with the advice she gave me today, I’m not certain that’s a good idea. So I nod and say sure as politely as possible before seeing them off and out the door, leaving Josie and me alone.
Instead of telling Josie about spending time with Cameron, I end up inviting her to zone out on the couch with me for the mommy and daughter time that I’ve been sorely missing out on recently. Her face lights up with a beatific smile at my request, and we veg out for the rest of the day, taking turns picking what we’ll watch next. As boring as that may sound, it turns out to be a perfect way to wind down this crazy weekend.
CHAPTER TWELVE
After a full week of radio silence from my new attorney, she calls me at work the next morning, bright and early and raring to go with a point by point breakdown of Matthew’s petition in detail.
That is, until I reach a point where my inner thoughts slip out of my mouth by accident, interrupting her train of thought.
“I don’t understand how Matthew could even do all of this to begin with.”
“Well that’s easy, Ms. Holt,” my attorney calmly says. “The system is in place to protect the rights of both parents and—”
“But that’s just it. He has not been a parent. He has never been a parent to Josie. It’s only ever been me.”
She blows out an exasperated breath. “Ms. Holt, I understand your frustration in the process, I really do. But it’s a process. Right now, our best course of action is to file the counterpetition to his initial petition. Which as I told you via e-mail last night was in fact filed with the family court, and they have in turn already confirmed receipt.”
That makes me a feel a bit better, but not much. I’m grateful that she’s in my corner and even more grateful that Alex was able to find her on such short notice and procure a meeting with her immediately. I appreciate her approach and how she can break things down from the most technical legal mumbo jumbo to something I can understand. It helps to alleviate some of the stress, but in the back of my mind, I’m already preparing for the worst.
“Then what happens?” I ask. “Worst-case scenario.”
“He could very well fight your counterpetition, and then we would end up in court.”
“So you mean I would have to sit there and defend all the decisions I’ve had to make in order to raise Josie all by myself? Then some stranger gets to decide what’s best for my daughter without ever meeting her?”
“In cases where the child in question is a minor such as Josie, the presiding judge could also request to meet with the child and/or have an independent evaluation conducted on behalf of the court before ruling.”
“I can’t believe this,” I say underneath my breath. “They could really do that?”
“Believe it, Ms. Holt.” She sighs into the phone before adding, “Look, you asked for the worst-case scenario, but that doesn’t mean that it will get that far. In my honest opinion, I don’t believe that your ex has much to go on other than pure, unadulterated guilt for being an absentee father. I just want you to be aware of the what-ifs and be prepared for whatever happens.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry you have to go through this, Ms. Holt,” she says. “But you have to trust that I am working my hardest to do what is best here for you and Josie.”
“I understand that, Ms. Gomez, and I appreciate it. I just hope that it works.”
“I believe it will, Ms. Holt.”
After saying our good-byes, I’m left with a feeling of unease and dread as I picture Josie having to be interviewed by someone she’s never met before to discuss her entire life. The more I think about this, the angrier and more frustrated I get over the entire legal process. I just have to trust my attorney to make the correct decisions and have faith in her belief that it will all work in my favor in the end.
I’ve also decided that I’m not going to tell my parents just yet about any of this mess with Matthew. I know that it will only add an unnecessary stress into their lives if I do. That’s not completely true. There is a part of me that feels like somewhat of a disappointment to them. I mean, I had a child r
ight out of college and out of wedlock. Even though I know they don’t have an issue with any of it since they’ve been so supportive of me, I don’t want to have to tell them about a problem that involves Matthew . . . again. So, as of right now, the only person who knows what’s going on is Alex. Who, thank God, has been able to keep things quiet about it to date. However, he now thinks it’s time to tell Josie, and I will . . . I just can’t seem to pick the perfect time to do that.
When my cell phone starts to ring in my hands, it shakes me out of my depressing and futile thoughts. Looking at the screen, I see that it’s Cameron calling me, and it’s a welcome distraction.
“Hello, Cameron.”
“You didn’t call me Mr. Thomas right off the bat. I’m impressed and honored.”
“You should be.”
“How is your day going?” he asks.
I’m not about to start unloading on him all the drama surrounding me right now so I take the safe route. “Fine. How about yours?”
“Funny you should ask, because I’m good. Great, actually.”
“What’s so great about it?” I ask.
“Well I’ve been sitting here planning our date,” he says with an air of excitement in his voice.
This throws me for a loop. Even though we agreed to see each other this weekend for what would be our first official date, I didn’t think he would be mapping it out so seriously and with such gusto.
“What did you have planned, exactly?”
He takes a quick breath and then lets loose all the things he has been planning for us to do on Saturday, beginning with a wine tasting and ending with a laser light show at the planetarium. In the middle of those things, he wants to squeeze in a trip to Bayside to take a boat ride around Star Island and of course dinner somewhere close to the beach.
“Cameron,” I say hesitantly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d like to keep things simple.”
“Um, I’m sorry, was I going off the deep end already?”
“No, it’s sweet of you, really, to want to make sure I’ll have a good time. But I promise, I’ll have a good time no matter what we do together.”
“Okay,” he says, sounding slightly unsure. Now I feel terrible that I made him second-guess himself.
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