“For what?”
“Putting up with me. I know I’m taking up a lot of your time.”
“It’s okay. I want to help you through this.” And once he was completely well, she could try to resume some order in her life. “Look at the progress you’ve made already.”
“Because of you and your family. You really should stay in the cabin after I’m gone, even if it’s just for one night.”
“The bed in my room is fine.”
“The bed in your room doesn’t induce dreams.”
She repeated what she’d told him before. “I don’t need to rely on magic. Things will happen for me when they’re meant to.”
“But you seem tense.”
She started the engine and headed toward the stables. “There’s a lot going on in my world.”
“Like the Savannah Jeffries issue?”
“Yes.”
“If you need a sounding board, I’ll lend you my ear.”
“I tried to talk to my sister about it this morning.”
“But she didn’t want to discuss it?”
“No.”
“I’m here, if you need me,” he reiterated.
There was a part of her that wanted to tell him the whole sordid story, to lean on his shoulder and let him wrap her in comfort. But relying on him wasn’t the answer, especially with her troubled attraction to him.
She parked in front of the stables and introduced him to the ranch hands who were nearby. None of them recognized him. Neither did Hugh, the loyal old foreman who’d snagged Caleb’s clothes. But she didn’t expect Hugh to recognize him, especially since she’d already described J.D. to him.
“You can meet everyone else on another day,” she told J.D.
He agreed, and she took him to the barn that housed the school horses.
“This is Pedro’s Pride,” she said as a tobiano paint poked his head out to greet them. She opened the gate and they went into his stall. “But I just call him Pedro.”
J.D. approached the horse, and it was love at first sight. Man and beast connected instantly. Jenna stood back and marveled at the exchange.
“He’s big and flashy,” J.D. said, “But he has manners, too.”
As he roamed his hands along the gelding’s sturdy frame, the horse stood patiently. Jenna wasn’t quite so calm. Seeing J.D. this way heightened her feelings for him.
He said, “If Pedro carries a rider the way you say he does, then you found a gem.”
“You look as if you found a gem, too. In yourself,” she clarified. “I can tell that you’re in your element.”
“I am. It feels right.” He tapped a hand to his chest. “Here, where it counts.”
In his heart, she thought. “That’s how I feel every time I come out here.”
“You’re lucky that this is your life’s work.”
“It’s probably yours, too. You just can’t remember the who, what and where.”
He remained next to the gelding. “How long will Caleb be out of town?”
“I think he’s scheduled to come back next month. Why?”
“If you need someone to fill in for him until he gets back, maybe you can hire me. Then I can repay your kindness by working it off.”
Yesterday, he’d been unable to acknowledge that he might be a cowboy, and today he was offering to be a ranch hand. But given the circumstances, his offer made sense. “I’ll have to talk to Hugh about it, and to Doc, too, of course. You can’t start working until he gives you a clean bill of health.” She added, “And you’ll get the same wages as everyone else. Repaying my kindness doesn’t mean that you’ll be working for free.”
“I won’t let you, Hugh or Doc down. I’ll do a good job.”
“I’m sure you will.” But it was only temporary, she reminded herself.
J.D. wasn’t going to be part of the Flying B forever.
* * *
J.D. glanced at Pedro, then at Jenna. He felt perfectly at ease around the horse. But around the woman? Not so much. The zip-zing between them jarred his senses.
He wanted to do right by her, to work at the ranch and make himself useful. But somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he wanted to run to the nearest bus stop and leave Buckshot Hills, Texas, far, far behind.
He’d seen the way she’d looked at him when he’d gotten halfway dressed in front of her. True, he’d been antsy about meeting her horses, but he shouldn’t have buttoned his shirt or zipped his jeans in her presence, especially since it had been a fantasy leftover from the hospital.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
He blinked. “What?”
“I want to be sure you’re feeling well enough to continue.”
“I’m doing fine.” Except for his bad-to-the-bone hunger for her.
“Then let’s go to the next stall.”
They proceeded, and she introduced him to Duke, her other school horse, whose original owner, a lover of old Westerns, had given him the same nickname as John Wayne. He was a friendly sorrel with a blaze and three white socks. J.D. approached the gelding, anxious to get close to him.
“He resembles the mare in my dream. His markings are similar.” And it made J.D. feel like the boy he once was. “If I had a sugar cube, I’d give him one.”
“You can spoil him next time. And Pedro, too.”
“I wish I could ride him.”
“Next time,” she said again.
“How old were you when you started riding?” he asked.
“Ten.”
“The same age I was in my dream.”
She nodded. “I was one of those kids that collected horsey stuff—pictures, books, toys, stuffed animals—but other than a few pony rides, I wasn’t around them. Then, two years after Mom died, I asked Dad if I could take riding lessons. He agreed, but he didn’t take an active part in it. He didn’t drive me back and forth or watch me during my lessons. He hired a babysitter for that, and once I got old enough to go on my own, I hung out there all the time, before and after school, on weekends, in the summer. It was a magnificent equestrian center. My home away from home.”
“So, what did you look like when you were ten?” he asked, interested to know the same thing about her that she’d wanted to know about him.
She smiled. “I was a skinny kid with longish hair.”
He smiled, too. She’d stolen his line. “Did you favor straw hats?”
“Are you kidding? I still do.”
“I haven’t seen you in a hat yet.”
“You will. Speaking of which, you’re going to need one once you start working here. I can give you one that belonged to my grandfather.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Tex wouldn’t have minded. He probably would have given you one himself. I think your dream would have fascinated him.”
He thought about his unknown family. “Do you think I was a foster kid?”
“I don’t know. But your comment about possibly being too old to be adopted gave me pause.”
It gave him pause, too. “Most people want babies or toddlers, not older kids.” He frowned. “Don’t they?”
“I don’t know anything about adoption, J.D.”
He searched her gaze. “Would you ever consider raising someone else’s child as your own?”
“Truthfully, I’ve never really thought about it before. But I love children, so if it was something my husband wanted to do, I would certainly consider it. What about you?”
“Me?” He took a cautionary step back. “I don’t think I’d make a very good dad, adoptive or otherwise. I’d have enough trouble dealing with myself, let alone being a parent.”
“My future husband is going to be father material. That’s one of the most important qualit
ies on my list. I want him to bring our children presents, even when it isn’t their birthdays. I want him to help me read to them at night. I even want him to dress up as Santa Claus and sneak past the tree on Christmas Eve.”
Surprised that she referred to the list she’d been protecting, he said, “I wouldn’t be able to do any of that.” Even now, he felt as if he were on the brink of a panic attack. “Marriage, babies, birthdays, Christmas.”
“I wasn’t implying that you should.”
“Neither was I.” He fought the panic, forcing his lungs to expand. “I was just making conversation.”
“About how different we are? I already figured that out.”
Of course she did, he thought. She analyzed the men she was attracted to. She weighed them against her list.
She said, “After your identity is restored, you can return to whatever type of lifestyle suits you.”
He nodded, knowing that was exactly what he would do. Nonetheless, it didn’t give him comfort. The fact that Jenna found him lacking made him ache inside.
An ache he couldn’t begin to understand.
Chapter Five
A week passed without J.D. having any more dreams and without the police uncovering any information about him. But at least Doc said that he was well enough to work. And ride, which he’d done, but only minimally. He hadn’t had the opportunity to spend a lot of time in the saddle yet. Mostly his work entailed maintenance in and around the barn.
As for Jenna, his hunger for her was getting worse. In spite of the fact that they were completely wrong for each other, he felt like a thunderstruck kid.
Today he was mucking out stalls, and she was reorganizing the tack room. Every so often, as he moved about the barn, he would catch sight of her in the tack room doorway, and his heart would dive straight to his stomach.
“J.D.?” a male voice said, drawing his attention.
He turned to see Manny, another ranch hand, coming toward him. By now, J.D. had met all of the other employees on the Flying B., including the household staff. Manny, he’d learned, had a thing for one of the maids, a girl he talked incessantly about. J.D., however, hadn’t said a word about his forbidden interest in Jenna.
Manny flashed a youthful grin. He was all of twenty-two, with curly brown hair and a happy-go-lucky personality. J.D. wished he knew how to feel that way, but the more time that passed, the more he sensed that his emotions had been screwed up long before Jenna had found him and brought him here.
Manny said, “A group of us are getting together at Lucy’s tonight. You ought to join us, J.D. It might do you some good to get out.”
“Who’s Lucy?”
“It’s a place, not a person. Lone Star Lucy’s. The local honky-tonk. So, do you want to go?”
“Sure, okay. Thanks.” He didn’t have anything else to do.
Manny grinned again. “Some of the household staff is going, too.”
J.D. cracked a smile. The other man’s infectious energy seemed to demand it. “I take it that means the gal you’re hot for will be there?”
“Heck, yeah. And I’m going to stick to her like glue. You just watch me.”
“I don’t doubt that you will.” J.D. couldn’t seem to stop from asking, “Are any of the Byrds going?” He wanted Jenna to be there. He wanted to see her as badly as Manny wanted to see the maid.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Nobody thought to invite them, I guess. We haven’t mingled with them outside the ranch.”
“Then maybe it’s time.”
“You can ask them to come, if you want. I wouldn’t count on the prissy one showing up, though. She wouldn’t fit in.” Manny chuckled. “What’s her name? Dana?”
“Donna. I met her briefly, a few days ago.” A quick introduction when Jenna had taken him inside to meet the household staff. “She doesn’t seem easy to get to know.” Which had given him a clearer understanding of the lack of closeness between the sisters.
“I’ve seen her walking around, dodging manure and sniffling from the hay. I’m surprised she’s lasted as long as she has.”
“I’ll invite all of the Byrds to keep from being rude.” And to keep it from seeming as if he only had Jenna in mind. “It would be nice to see Doc and Tammy out on the town.”
“Yeah, Tammy is country folk, and Doc is getting there, too. Make sure you don’t forget about Jenna, not after everything she’s done for you. I think you should buy her a drink.”
“I agree. I’ll do that, if she accepts the invite.” He tried to seem casual. “She told me that she likes to dance so maybe I’ll two-step with her, too, if I can keep up.” He still wasn’t sure what kind of dancer he was, but he was willing to find out if it meant having Jenna as his partner.
“Great. Sounds like a party to me. I can give you a ride. Let’s say, about eight? I’ll swing by your cabin.”
“All right. See you then.”
Manny returned to work, and J.D. put down his rake and walked over to where Jenna was. He entered the tack room, and she looked up from the bridles she was hanging on wooden pegs.
He got right to the point. “Manny asked me to join him and some of the others at Lucy’s tonight. It would be nice if you, Tammy, Doc and Donna wanted to meet us there.”
“Donna would never go to Lucy’s.”
“Yeah, that’s what Manny figured. How about you? Do you want to go?”
“I don’t know if it’s the right place for me, either. From what I’ve heard, it caters to a wild crowd.”
Hoping to thwart her concern, he said, “I’ll protect you from the crazies.”
“You will, huh?” She laughed a little. “And who’s going to protect me from you?”
“If Doc and Tammy go, Doc can keep me in line. He can tranquilize me if I get too rowdy.”
She laughed again. “Then I’ll make sure they come along.”
Damn, but he liked her. “I thought maybe you and I could dance. Or I’d like to give it a try anyway.”
“That sounds nice.”
“We’re leaving around eight. You can head over about the same time if you want.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Before he overstepped his bounds, he said, “I should get back to work now.”
“Me, too.” She made a show of jangling the bridles in her hand.
“Bye, Jenna.”
“Bye.”
He walked away, dreading the day he had to say goodbye to her for real. But at least for now, he had the chance to hold her while they danced.
* * *
Jenna walked into Lone Star Lucy’s, where scores of people gathered. Doc and Tammy couldn’t make it, so she’d ventured out on her own—clearly a stupid thing to do, especially at a bar like this.
She didn’t have a clue where J.D. or the Flying B employees were. Everyone looked alike in the dimly lit, sawdust-on-the-floor, tables-crammed-too-close-together environment. Most of the men were bold and flirtatious, with their hats dipped low and their beer bottles held high, and most of the women wore their makeup too heavy, their hair too big and their jeans too tight.
As she made her way farther into the room, she noticed the dance floor. A digital jukebox provided the music. Way in the back, she caught a glimpse of pool tables.
J.D. had said that he would protect her from the crazies, but already she was getting hit on.
A cowboy with slurred speech leaned over his chair and grabbed her shirtsleeve. “Where are you going in such a hurry?”
She tugged her arm away. “I’m looking for someone.”
“I can be your someone,” he replied.
It is time to leave, she thought. She turned around and ran smack-dab into J.D. He stood there, like a wall of muscle.
�
�Is that guy bothering you?” he asked.
Her pulse went pitter-pat. “He was, but he isn’t anymore.”
Slurred Speech had gone back to his beer.
“Where’s Doc and Tammy?” J.D. asked.
“They had other plans.”
“You should have let me know you were alone. You could have ridden with us.”
“You and Manny?”
“And some of the other guys.”
“A truckload of testosterone? I don’t know about that.”
“We would have made room for you, and you could have sat up front with me.”
She envisioned herself squeezed in the middle, practically sharing the same seat with J.D. “Taking my own truck was fine.”
“I’m just happy you’re here. You look damn fine, Jenna.”
“Thank you.” Her boot-cut jeans were as tight as every other cowgirl’s in the place. She’d gone easy on the makeup, though, aside from the crimson lipstick that matched her fancy silk blouse. She hadn’t overdone her hair, either. She wore it loose and soft.
He kept looking at her with appreciation in his eyes, and his dark gaze whipped her into a girlish flutter. She’d wanted to impress him, and she had.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll take you to our table.”
He put his hand lightly on the small of her back, and as they weaved their way around other patrons, he never broke contact. His gentle touch heightened her girlish reaction to him.
He motioned with his free hand. “Over there.”
She saw the Flying B group, with Manny smiling big and bright amongst his peers.
There were nine people in all, including her and J.D. He’d saved a seat for her. He’d saved seats for Doc and Tammy, too. But as soon as it became apparent that they weren’t being used, they were quickly snatched up by people at another table.
Jenna was greeted by the Flying B employees. The other women in attendance were part-timers from the housekeeping staff. Their names were Celia, Joy and Maria, and they looked a lot different here than they did at work. Celia’s boobs were busting out of her top, Joy had eyeliner out to there and Maria’s dress hugged her curvaceous hips. They smelled of the same flowery perfume, too, a telltale sign that they’d gotten ready together, sharing a bottle of whatever it was. Overall they seemed like nice girls who’d gone into Lucy’s mode for the night.
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