As I walk out the door, my heart hammers in my rib cage. He’s supposed to be meeting me outside in about five minutes but I need a moment alone just to calm myself down. I never really had a date with Brandon as such, we just sort of fell together in a really natural way. The chemistry pulled us in, it connected us, it clamped us together and wouldn’t let us go. Now, things can’t be so natural, we have all this history holding us back. If we’re going to do this, if we’re really going to go in, then it needs to be with our eyes wide open.
I bounce up and down on my feet and I swing my arms idly by my side. I want that carefree side to me back, I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life.
Come on, Lola. You can do this.
I hear a car in the distance which only heightens all of the terrifying emotions. My eyes scan everywhere and soon I see a black, flash looking vehicle pulling up. It looks silly outside this dirty motel, it really doesn’t fit in, which means it has to be him. I suppose it reminds me of us in a way, he’s much too flash and over the top for me, I’m just a simple country girl, but somehow we made it work once. Maybe we could do so again.
The car pulls to a halt in front of me and I curl my fingers around the hem of my dress as I wait for him to get out. My palms feel sweaty, my heart hammers violently, I feel shaky all over. This is too mush. The door open much too slowly and a leg comes out. One that’s wearing expensive looking trousers. I already know that in my cheap, high street dress that I won’t fit in with him, but I don’t think I mind. I certainly don’t feel self conscious.
Then the rest of him comes out the car and my heart leaps up into my throat. He’s devastatingly handsome, the best looking man that I’ve ever seen in my life, and I really do think that my dad might be right. It does seem that he wants to make things up to me. There’s such a love shining in his eyes that it’s almost irresistible.
“You look nice,” he says as he gets closer to me. “Beautiful actually.” He leans down and kisses me on the cheek which sends butterflies flapping everywhere inside me. “Are you ready to go?”
No, it’s too much, make an excuse, don’t do it! My brain is frantic, almost out of control. It’s screaming at me so loudly that I almost can’t ignore it. I could make an excuse, I could use my father as a way out of this… but is that what I want? Do I want to ignore the churning in my stomach, the warmth in my chest, the feelings that I haven’t ever had before?
“Erm, yes,” I reply, following my heart instead of my head with a desperate hope that it’s the right thing to do. “Let’s go.”
Chapter 24 – Brandon
I can’t stop looking at Lola out the corner of my eye as we whizz along the road towards the restaurant where I’ve managed to get us a last minute booking for tonight. Actually, it isn’t the sort of flashy place I would normally take a date, but that’s because I’m not trying to impress Lola with my money. The sort of girls I take to dinner at stunning, expensive places are the ones I need to impress a bit before I get into bed with them. I want to sleep with them, but that’s it. I am never interested in them the way I am in Lola.
No, tonight I have gone for a nice Italian place with little booths where we can have a private, intimate meal together, just me and her. I’m trying not to have any expectations for tonight, but I do think that it’ll be when we find out either way what’s going to happen between us. I really want things to go a certain way, but I don’t want to pressure Lola.
“So, how’s your dad?” I ask her smilingly. “Is he feeling better?”
“He’s in bed now. Getting some sleep. He’ll be fine until morning.”
I don’t know what she means by that, but it gets me excited. Is she trying to tell me that she’ll be free all night long? Does that mean there’s a possibility of anything happening between us? I haven’t been with anyone for a year because I haven’t wanted to, but now that intense spark is back inside of me and I know that only Lola can quell it.
“Oh well that’s good news,” I rasp back, hardly able to keep my emotions inside. “So you can have fun for as long as you want.”
Lola nods but doesn’t say anything else. She keeps her gaze firmly fixed out the window as we continue moving. I desperately want to ask her what’s going on through that mind of hers, but I don’t think I can. I don’t think that’s appropriate.
“Right,” I say as we pull the car up to a halt right outside the restaurant where I have a table booked. “We’re here now. Are you… are you okay to go in?”
She turns in the chair to face me before we make our move. “Brandon?” she asks quietly. “Can I just ask you something before we go in?”
My heart leaps. I don’t know how to feel about that. What if she asks something that blows all of this apart before we even start our night out? “Erm, yeah sure.”
“What is this?” She cocks her head to one side and examines me closely. “Tonight, I mean? Are we just hanging out as friends or is this a date? I know that might be a bit heavy since it was a night that was thrown upon us by my dad, but the anticipation is killing me. I don’t think I can be myself if I don’t know.”
I purse my lips thoughtfully. I need to answer this delicately so I don’t freak her out at all. “I’ll be honest with you, I would like it to be a date. I would like to think that there’s still a connection between us that can turn into something real and new, but I know that I did you wrong. I can give you all the excuses in the world, but I still treated you badly, so if you want nothing more than to be friends, I understand that.” It breaks my heart to say it, but I’d rather have her in my life in some way rather than not at all. “It’s entirely up to you.”
She nods slowly as she processes this. “Okay,” she drawls. “I see. I think…” She sucks in a deep breath of shaky air. “I think I would like to give us a chance. I think I would like this to be a date. I think we should see… where this might go.”
Yes! I almost pump my fist in the air with excitement. Thank God!
“Okay.” The smile on my face is so bright and genuine I think my face might crack. “Well let’s get outside then, shall we?”
I hop out the car and move over to her side to open the door for her. I want to be the perfect gentleman tonight, even more so now that I know there’s a chance. I don’t deserve it, but I’m getting one anyway. I must have done something right!
“Thank you.” Lola slides her hand into mine. “Let’s go inside. This place looks nice. Is this where you bring all your dates?”
“You have the wrong impression of me,” I tell her seriously. “Maybe in the past I dated around, but not anymore. Not for the last year.” I see her eyes go dewy eyed with emotion. I’m glad I’ve been given the chance to let her know that much. “But even before, I never brought anyone here. Only friends. This is the place for me and you.”
“I like that,” she replies warmly. “Let’s go in.”
The well dressed waiter takes us over to a table in the corner where we can have the most private conversation in the world. The booth seats around us are high, so it feels a bit like we’re the only people alive. As we take our seats and we look at one another over the romantic, flickering candle light, my heart leaps up into my chest.
I could love this woman, I think seriously to myself. I might actually love her already.
I haven’t ever been in love before so I don’t know how it’s supposed to feel, but I’m sure this dizzying excitement where it feels a bit like the foundation has been pulled out from beneath me, is a part of it. I’m falling deeper and deeper into this abyss but I like it. I love the sensation that I’m falling because it’s with her. With Lola clinging to me, it’s good.
“So what’s good here?” Lola asks as she pulls the menu open. “I presume that you’ve been here enough times to have something to recommend to me.”
“The calzones are amazing. I think you’ll like them.”
“Ooh, calzones, very posh,” she teases back. “No wonder you didn’t like eating out bef
ore. My town doesn’t exactly have a variety of food choices.”
“It does now,” I shoot back rapidly. “That’s a part of my development plan. Haven’t you been to see it?”
“No,” she replies softly, reminding me what a stupid question it is. “I haven’t been since you left.” Of course she hasn’t. If it was the other way around, I would be the same. “But I’ve heard great things.”
I need to pull this back, I need Lola to remember the good things rather than the crap. “I didn’t mind not eating out anyway. I loved hanging out in your tiny cottage and one of us cooking with whatever we could get from the store. That was so much fun.”
Lola laughs and tosses her head back. “Yeah, I’m sure. Just wonderful. I bet about three of my houses could fit in your living room.”
I nod, agreeing with her because I know she’s right. “We can go and have a look after this if you want? It feels weird that I’ve spent so much time with you at your home and you haven’t seen the inside of mine at all.” It reminds me that while she shared something intense, it wasn’t fully real. If things ever did happen again I would want it to be very real. I would want to be fully immersed in one another’s lives, I want it to be everything. Even my father will meet Lola, if she lets us be again. “Would you like that?”
“I think I would. Just to see it,” she answers. But a redness tinges her cheeks. I get the impression that she might be thinking dirty thoughts… which is fun, but I don’t want just that. “I’d like to get to know a bit more about you.”
I smile at her, wanting to say so many things. There’s a lot between us that needs to be said, but I don’t know how to find the words. Instead I try to say it with my eyes instead… at least until the waiter comes along to take our order, shaking us both from our little moment.
***
“That was really nice,” Lola says happily as we leave the restaurant. Her hand is in mine and she’s swinging it casually. It’s just a small gesture but it means the world to me. It builds a connection between us that I want to last forever. “Thank you for taking me there.”
“Yeah, it’s a great place… but there’s another reason I brought you here.” I tug her along with me towards the back of the building. “There’s a little pond out here which has some Koi Carp inside. It’s lovely. Not as lovely as your lake but nice.”
The owner of the restaurant has decorated the outside area with little fairy lights that twinkle in the moon light. I’ve never really noticed it before, but it’s really romantic. I love that I can show it to Lola. I just know that she’ll like it.
“Oh yeah, this is awesome,” Lola gushes as her eyes drink it all in. “Really nice.”
I move behind her and wrap my arms around her, just like I did once upon a time a year ago. I nestle my face into her hair and inhale her scent. Her smell hasn’t changed at all, it brings back all the old sensations that she used to make me feel, and it’s a safe emotion. With Lola I feel secure, I feel whole, I feel complete. This is what I want every day. I would like this to be my life forever more. Me and Lola against the world.
“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” I whisper to her. “It’s awesome.”
She turns on her heels and wraps her arms around my neck, bringing everything up to a brand new level. As she rises to her tiptoes I suck in an expectant breath of air, but she doesn’t kiss me. Instead she brushes her nose gently against mine and she stares up loving into my eyes. The fact that she’s willing to be so open with her heart after I stomped on her before is wonderful, it makes me see just how incredible she is. She really is everything that I could want and more. So much more.
Yep, I think smilingly to myself. I definitely love her. No doubt about it.
I can’t hold back any longer, so I dip my head down and I close the gap between our lips. I kiss her softly and gently, relishing all the amazing sensations that flood through my body, but Lola grabs me tightly and deepens the kiss, allowing all of her passion to flow through her lips. Fireworks explode inside of me, a deep desire runs free, I wrap my arms around her waist and squeeze until she molds into my body.
Oh God, this feels so good. This is what I want. This is what I need.
I know now with utter certainty that if I get another proper chance with Lola I won’t screw it up. I knew that anyway, but now I really know it.
“Do you want to come back to mine?” I murmur against her lips. “See my house?”
My heart thunders as I wait for an answer, I don’t know what I’ll do if she says no. I really hope I don’t have to find out. I bite the inside of my cheek to try and keep a stream of please from running free. I need to play it cool.
“Yes,” she finally agrees, putting me out of my misery. “Let’s go and see this big mansion of yours.”
Chapter 25 – Lola
“Wow, so this is your home?” I gush as we walk into the largest home that I’ve ever seen. It’s even bigger on the inside than it appears outside. “This is amazing.”
My eyes flicker everywhere, I drink all of it in. There’s a reception area with a giant staircase, rooms coming from everywhere, all with gorgeous furniture and wonderful artwork littering the walls. It makes my tiny, shabby cottage look like something in a back garden somewhere… which I suppose in a way it is.
“Yeah, this is it.” Brandon shrugs modestly. “It was one of the first things I brought when I got my trust fund at eighteen years old. That was back when I was excited to delve head first into the exciting world of business of course. I thought I needed a flashy home to match my flashy life style.”
“You don’t think that anymore?” I ask, curious as to why he seems unsure about himself.
“I don’t know. I mean, I still love this house. It’s the one and only thing that I really feel is mine, but I don’t think I need it to match me anymore.”
I nod slowly, not wanting to get too much into the heavy stuff now. Not when my heart is dancing so excitably over my entire body, driving me wild. Even though I tried to convince myself that I definitely wouldn’t stay out all night when I was getting dressed, I’m pretty sure that this moment has been coming ever since I agreed to come out on this date. Now, I think I might want to know where it’s going to lead.
“Are you going to show me around then? There’s got to be more to this house than just the hallway.”
Brandon takes my hand in his and he takes me slowly through his home showing me every single room. As we walk, I’m more interested in the furniture and the objects that he has in his home, because that tells me more about him. I look at the – admittedly very few – photographs that he has up on the wall, giving me a bit of a glimpse into his life. I see the awards that he’s won for business, and the office that’s messier than the rest of the home.
I love seeing all these bits of his life, it’s interesting to peel back the layers of Brandon.
“Your kitchen is amazing,” I tell him as we move up the stairs. “But I bet your bathroom is even better.”
“My bathroom?” He gives me a curious look. “You don’t want to see my bedroom?”
I shrug and blush. “I mean, I suppose so, but for some reason I want to see your bathroom too.”
“Oh well that’s great because I have the most amazing wet room.” He smiles and rubs the bottom of my back. “I’m very proud of it.”
I feel a flutter of electricity racing through my system as his hands brush against my skin and the possibilities suddenly open wide. I remember the moment when the heat of the moment got the better of us and we ended up hooking up on the tractor inside my barn.
I kinda want to recreate that magic. It was so much fun and I know Brandon started looking at me differently then, as if I was someone he was really attracted to. Remembering that stare sends a powerful shiver racing up and down my spine.
“Wow, yeah, this is nice.” I step into the bathroom with him still clinging to my hand. “I can see why you wanted this.”
Once he’s inside with me I yank him
to my body and I kiss him hard, but I only hook one hand around his waist because I’m using the other to find the dials to switch the water on. I want to shock him. As I find it, I smile against his lips and I hit it.
“Oh my God,” Brandon squeals as he’s stunned so much that he jumps away from me. But of course he can’t escape the water because it’s a wet room. The whole ceiling is sprouting water out, absolutely covering him and his expensive suit. “Lola!”
I giggle and twist my hips playfully. “Oops, sorry. I didn’t know what that button did…”
Then I grab the bottom of my dress and I yank it up over my soaking wet head, so I’m standing staring at him with just my white, now very see through underwear on. Brandon pauses for a moment, but then he joins in. He strips his clothing off right down to his underwear so we’re both standing across the room, under what feels like warm rain, staring at each other panting desperately.
“You look so damn beautiful,” Brandon gasps at me. “Better than I remember.”
Then all of a sudden our bodies have crashed back to bed and we’re kissing like there’s no tomorrow. His hands are all over me and mine all over him too. I want to touch him everywhere, I want to reconnect with every damn inch of him, I’ve missed this body so much that it hurts. It actually aches everywhere. It pulsates and pounds deep in my core.
Broken: A Mountain Man's Romance Page 85
