by Sarah Noffke
Trent holds his hands up over his head and like the unmannered clown that he is he says, “Fuck yeah, bitches. I’m your new boss.”
I wave my hand at the front. “The department is all yours to run into the bloody ground.” Then I stroll for the empty seat on the other side of the table. I lean back in the chair as Trent takes my former place.
“So what are you going to do now, Ren?” Raven asks.
I thread my hands behind my head and prop my shoes on the table in front of me, putting them on the girl’s notebook beside me.
“I’m going to be a part-time agent working only level-five cases,” I say, enjoying the plan already.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Are you sure about this, Ren?” my pops says, refolding a shirt and laying it in a dresser drawer.
“Of course I am,” I say.
“Well, you can change your mind,” he says.
“Do you want me to change my mind?” I say, a mock heat in my voice.
“No, not at all. I was just surprised by the offer.”
“Well, Pops, I know you prefer not to dream travel and I also know how important it is for you to spend time with Adelaide and Lucien.”
“I treasure them. I really do. But of all people I love spending my time with most, it’s you, son,” he says, his eyes lighting up as he smiles. “You won’t ever love anyone more than your child.”
“Yeah,” I say, my voice gruff without my permission. “You need any more help unpacking?” I eye the room he’s moved into on the south wing of our house. He organized it pretty quickly. Excitement will do that.
“No, son. I’m good. I might lie down and take a nap, but I’ll see you downstairs for dinner later.”
“You know dream travel is much more restorative than sleep,” I say.
“And you know that I love the beauty and mystery my dreams serve up,” he says.
“I know that you’re a stubborn old man who’s never going to change.”
“Nor would you want me to,” he says and I offer him a slight smile as I leave.
***
I find Dahlia in the den reading a magazine that has her face plastered across the front.
“You really are fucking obsessed with yourself, aren’t you?” I say, taking the seat next to her on the couch and kicking off my loafers.
“Well, there’s not a better person out there so what’s not to be obsessed with?” she says.
“I guess. You’ve got a tight ass. I’ll give you that,” I say, hooking an arm around her shoulder.
“How’s your dad settling in?”
“Like liquid in a glass,” I say.
“Yes, and whatever you said to Adelaide seems to have had a good effect,” she says, pointing to the bank of floor to ceiling windows. Out in the yard Adelaide has an easel set up and is painting on a canvas. Strapped to her front in a carrier is Lucien and he appears to be asleep. Quiet. Content.
“I just told her that being a monster wasn’t such a bad thing,” I say.
“I think you told her more than just that,” Dahlia says.
Adelaide pauses. Tilts her head to regard the painting from another angle. Then she looks down at the baby strapped on her front and tucks her chin and plants a soft kiss on his red head.
“You know I never thought of you as a monster,” Dahlia says.
I slide down and lay my head in her lap, stretching out my long legs on the leather sofa.
“Oh no?” I say.
“No,” she says in a soft voice. “Unique. Brilliant. An incredible jerk. But not a monster.”
“Well, maybe this is just a discussion of semantics,” I say.
“Maybe,” she says, sliding her fingers through my hair, pure adoration on her face. “All I know is that loving you is better than all the fame and riches in the world. I’d give it all up for you. I’d do anything for you, Ren Lewis.”
I catch her hand in mine. “Well, lucky for you, you don’t have to give up anything. You, dear Dahlia, get to have it all. You get your riches, your fame, and me.” And then I press her hand to my lips.
And strangely, I somehow managed to do that too. After a lifetime of treachery God decided to forgive me. In the end, I somehow managed to have it all.
Epilogue
Change is by far the scariest thing a human will ever face. We go to great lengths to avoid it. The idea of not having our usual ways or to be the same person we were yesterday isn’t intimidating, it’s fucking terrifying. But evolution is the only way for a bunch of beasts cursed with a heart and desires to survive. It’s through experience that we grow and therefore change is impossible to avoid.
But Churchill was wrong. He said, “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”
But reaching for perfection would only seek to destroy us. There are no perfect homes, or families, or people. We are all flawed. Beautifully and ultimately flawed. And it is this imperfection that pushes us every day to find the only thing worth fighting for. Love. That’s why we’re here. That’s why we suffer. That’s why any of this bloody matters.
I’m Ren Lewis and I’m not perfect. Thank fucking God.
The End
Author’s Note
Writing Ren Lewis’s story hasn’t been easy, but it was a story I felt had to be told. I know this man in a way that I’ve never understood another character. Love him or hate him, but the truth is that he’s probably more me than any character I’ve ever written. And yet, he’s very much an enigma to me. I’m not British, nor male, nor an unsympathetic jerk. But I kind of want to be on some days.
Important note, I’m a YA author usually so being uncensored was a rare experience for me. Apparently, I had too much fun with it and really embraced my dark side. In the first book Ren uses the f-bomb twenty-four times. In the second book, he uses it eighty-eight times. And in this book, he drops that bomb one hundred and forty-nine times. Which to me felt wrong and like it really should have been an even one-hundred and fifty times.
And as the creator and keeper of Ren I wanted him to offer you one last farewell. So I’ll turn this over to him now.
Ren: “What an honor you’ve been given to read my life story. I promise you I’ll go on to do many incredible things. I’ve not enjoyed my time working with Sarah, having her recording my life. But I’ve done it, because it is a tiny hope that you all will learn how to be less shitty after hearing about my journey. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll do something with your pathetic lives. I doubt it but one could hope. Anyway, if anything you’re a little less repulsive of a person after hearing of the awesomeness that you could be. And I realize I’ve set expectations which are unobtainable for you lowly Middlings to reach. But do try. Or just fuck off and see if I care. Cheerio, love.”
Thanks for putting up with Ren.
Sincerely,
Sarah Noffke
Acknowledgements
Nine books this man has invaded. Ren Lewis. We love him. We hate him. And secretly I kind of think I am him. Wait, not such a secret anymore, huh? Anyway, this series is the direct result of amazing readers. Ones who demanded more of this man’s story. Ones who wrote me countless messages expressing their love for this sociopath. My first thank you goes to the readers. There wouldn’t be a Ren series if it weren’t for you. And then I would be so empty because writing these books has been amazingly fulfilling. So thank you!
Audiobooks are really important to many of my readers. I have some with health problems and audiobooks make it easier for them to read. And it’s important to me that I offer my books in ways that are suitable for readers. But audiobook production comes at a cost. And I want to thank the many funders who backed my kickstarter for Ren, book two and three. I was blown away by the generosity of so many people. And I’m grateful that I have so many of you who believe in the project. Thank you to Angel, Anne, Alicia, Katy, Jennifer L, Jennifer W, Jennifer S. Tim, Jon, Don, Paul, JN, Clint, Cheryl, Kimberly, Erin, Jessica, Heidi, Lisa, and all the readers who shared and prom
oted the kickstarter.
Thank you to my notches, Stephanie, Jessica and Colleen. You three keep me sane, or at least make me feel like my crazy isn’t that bad. Thanks for allowing me to bounce ideas off you. Thanks for the support and encouragement. Thanks for the help with the marathon group. And thanks for being awesome.
Thank you to my street team for promoting my books, supporting my projects, being there in so many different ways. I really depend on your awesomeness. Thanks to Kathy for pretty much running it all of her own. You rock.
Thank you to Colleen, my first chair. You. Are. Fantastic. Best beta reader a girl could ask for. My first eyes on the script and the person who helps me make the most changes.
Thank you to my beta readers Heidi, Melinda, Anne and Kelly. You three offer so many insights into how to make my books better. And you’re fun gals who I love sharing with.
Thank you to Anne for checking the British vernacular of this book. Thank you for also being a great supporter and lovely person.
Thank you to my friends. You all bring me so much joy. I’m blown away by the amount of awesome people in my life.
Thank you to my fan group on Goodreads. It’s growing and we’re having a ton of fun together. I’m so glad that Dominic started that group and continues to make it awesome.
Thank you to my fellow authors who cheer for me and fight over Ren. I’m not sure at which point I should tell you he isn’t real.
Thank you to BOD. To Katy and Jennifer for giving so much of your time and effort to making the parties great! I love this group and really don’t know where I’d be without those authors and readers.
Thank you to Ren. I know I just got finished saying you aren’t real, but I don’t really believe that. I know you too well, sense things about you. You have invaded my dreams and my head and made me laugh more than any character ever. Finishing this series has felt horribly strange, like I was being forced to part ways with a piece of myself. Forever and ever I want you in my head, spewing your snarky remarks. Thanks for gracing my pages, and spreading your uncheer.
Thank you to my family. You all are amazingly supportive of my career and my books. I realize I’m the eccentric in the clan, and I’m happy to play that role.
Thank you to my daughter. You are forever my muse. The reason I started writing. The reason I keep writing. One day these books will be your legacy and I hope they make you proud…and pay for your college education.
Thank you to everyone!
Love,
Sarah Noffke
About the Author:
Sarah is the author of the Lucidites, Reverians, Vagabond Circus and Ren series. She’s been everything from a corporate manager to a hippie. Her taste for adventure has taken her all over the world. If you can’t find her at the gym, then she’s probably at the frozen yogurt shop. If you can’t find her there then she probably doesn’t want to be found. She is a self-proclaimed hermit, with spontaneous urges to socialize during full moons and when Mercury is in retrograde. Sarah lives in Central California with her family. To learn more about Sarah please visit: http://www.sarahnoffke.com
Check out other work by this author here: http://amzn.to/1HBPLpb
The Lucidites Series:
Awoken, #1: http://amzn.to/1P4KriX
Around the world humans are hallucinating after sleepless nights.
In a sterile, underground institute the forecasters keep reporting the same events.
And in the backwoods of Texas, a sixteen-year-old girl is about to be caught up in a fierce, ethereal battle.
Meet Roya Stark. She drowns every night in her dreams, spends her hours reading classic literature to avoid her family’s ridicule, and is prone to premonitions—which are becoming more frequent. And now her dreams are filled with strangers offering to reveal what she has always wanted to know: Who is she? That’s the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out. But will Roya live to regret learning the truth?
Stunned, #2
Revived, #3
The Reverians Series:
Defects, #1: http://amzn.to/1ZqA6UQ
In the happy, clean community of Austin Valley, everything appears to be perfect. Seventeen-year-old Em Fuller, however, fears something is askew. Em is one of the new generation of Dream Travelers. For some reason, the gods have not seen fit to gift all of them with their expected special abilities. Em is a Defect—one of the unfortunate Dream Travelers not gifted with a psychic power. Desperate to do whatever it takes to earn her gift, she endures painful daily injections along with commands from her overbearing, loveless father. One of the few bright spots in her life is the return of a friend she had thought dead—but with his return comes the knowledge of a shocking, unforgivable truth. The society Em thought was protecting her has actually been betraying her, but she has no idea how to break away from its authority without hurting everyone she loves.
Rebels, #2
Warriors, #3
Vagabond Circus Series: http://amzn.to/1JmGMJe
Suspended, #1: http://amzn.to/1M1hwIn
When a stranger joins the cast of Vagabond Circus—a circus that is run by Dream Travelers and features real magic—mysterious events start happening. The once orderly grounds of the circus become riddled with hidden threats. And the ringmaster realizes not only are his circus and its magic at risk, but also his very life.
Vagabond Circus caters to the skeptics. Without skeptics, it would close its doors. This is because Vagabond Circus runs for two reasons and only two reasons: first and foremost to provide the lost and lonely Dream Travelers a place to be illustrious. And secondly, to show the nonbelievers that there’s still magic in the world. If they believe, then they care, and if they care, then they don’t destroy. They stop the small abuse that day-by-day breaks down humanity’s spirit. If Vagabond Circus makes one skeptic believe in magic, then they halt the cycle, just a little bit. They allow a little more love into this world. That’s Dr. Dave Raydon’s mission. And that’s why this ringmaster recruits. That’s why he directs. That’s why he puts on a show that makes people question their beliefs. He wants the world to believe in magic once again.
Paralyzed, #2
Released, #3
Spanish version of The Lucidites Series:
Awoken: Despertada
Stunned: Atonita
Revived: Resucitada
Sneak Peek of Awoken (The Lucidites Series, #1):
“You’re late,” Ren sneers, his British accent making the offense sound atrocious. “I should have guessed. Come on already, follow me.”
I turn back to Aiden, searching for a way out. He shrugs, only half looking at me.
I slide off the table and push my toes forward, but my body is sluggish and doesn’t readily respond to the commands from my brain. It takes an eternity to reach the door. Ren has already bolted down the outer corridor and is standing looking at me with exaggerated contempt. Again I’ve pissed him off; maybe I’ve actually done something this time or it’s just my very nature of breathing that’s setting him off. Hard to tell.
I turn back at the threshold. Aiden is typing away at a computer station. He looks busy. Focused.
“Hey,” I call to him, “thanks for saving my life and all.”
He’s still typing on his computer, engrossed in whatever he’s working on. I turn and head toward Ren. A few steps down the corridor I hear Aiden sing, “Just doing my job.”
Ren shoots down a narrow silver hallway. Since I’ve just dislodged a gallon of water from my lungs it’s difficult to keep up. I hardly have time to take in the corridor we’re moving through. The walls and ceiling are brushed stainless steel. The floor is a strange aquamarine, with a shimmering effervescence.
“Where are we going?” I pant. “Can you slow down?”
“’Fraid not, Roya. I’m trying to get you to orientation before it’s over.” He gives me a sideways glance. “You still mad at me for scratching you at our last meeting?”
“Scratching me? You stabbed me with a f
ilthy pocket knife.” I pull up my sleeve to show the fresh gash which is destined for infection. Who knows where that knife has been or how many other people he’s cut with it?
“Blimey, stop being so dramatic. All I did was give you what you asked for.”
“I asked for proof that I was dream traveling, not an injury,” I seethe.
“But you knew it was real when you awoke, didn’t you?” he leers.
We’re still hurrying through the hallway when a stabbing pain splinters through my side. I stop and double over. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m going to be late to some orientation. I’ve got to rest for a second,” I say between wheezing attempts to breathe. We’ve already walked a long distance. How big is this place?
“I don’t think you’ll want be tardy to orientation, that’s all I’m saying,” Ren says, checking his watch.
I wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders. My frustration rises to the surface and erupts. “I’m the challenger,” I argue, pointing at myself. “I’ve decided to risk my life for this whole mess. I think I can be a tad late to this stupid orientation.”
Ren bites his lip, a look of mischief in his green eyes. “Yes, Challenger, you’re right.” He holds up his hands as if surrendering. “Your call. I’m just trying to help.”
“Yeah, right.” I sigh and start walking forward again, but this time at my own slower pace.
Ren lets me walk off a few steps before ambling up next to me. “Let me guess, you’re probably also peeved that I did that whole projection business on you. Is that right?”
