by Lori Ryan
Jennie didn’t say anything in response. She was too busy picturing sex on top of a mountain with Chad. Would it be fast and dirty or would he take his time despite the fact that anyone could spot them at any time?
She was amazed at how quickly the images in her head had her breasts feeling heavier and the heat and anticipation of arousal swirling in her belly. She had to fight to draw her focus back to the game.
“Truth or dare?” Chad asked.
“Truth.”
“What’s your biggest fear?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but he quickly amended his question.
“Besides fish,” he said with a grin.
Forgetting my husband? Falling in love again? Losing my entire life, my reason for being—again?
“Pass,” Jennie said, invoking her one pass they’d negotiated for at the start of their game.
She continued before Chad had a chance to comment. “Truth or dare, Chad?”
“Truth,” he said, raising his beer bottle to his lips again. Her eyes fell to his mouth involuntarily, before she ripped them away.
“What’s your biggest fear?” She asked.
Chad turned to face her, answering without hesitation. “That I’ll turn out like my father.”
Chad’s father had left his mother when he was in his early twenties, after twenty-five years of what everyone thought was a perfect marriage. He didn’t cheat on her, didn’t leave because he fell in love with someone else.
He simply left one day and didn’t even bother to seek anything in the divorce. Kelly had told Jennie once that the last anyone heard of him, he was living on a beach in New Zealand or something.
Jennie started laughing, drawing a look from Chad that might have scared any other woman. Or, at least sobered them enough to stop laughing. For Jennie, it only made her laugh harder.
“I tell you my greatest fear and you’re laughing at me?” He seemed truly offended as she shook her head at him, trying to catch her breath so she could explain.
“I’m laughing because it’s not even remotely possible.” She wiped at tears under her eyes. “It’s so far from possible it’s…well, it’s just laughable. There isn’t anything in you that would let you walk away from your family like that, Chad. I don’t know what happened to your dad, but it’s not in you to do that. When you love, when you commit, you’ll do it forever.”
Jennie sobered as she finished, realizing he would give his heart to someone one day. And it wouldn’t be her.
That thought hit her harder than she’d thought it would. She didn’t want him to give his heart to someone else, but she also couldn’t face the idea of letting him give it to her.
Letting him love her with all his heart and soul, the way she knew he’d love. She turned to face the ocean as Chad seemed to process what she said. After several minutes, he quietly resumed the game.
“Truth or dare, Jen?”
“Truth,” Jennie said. When Chad didn’t respond right away, she turned to look at him through her lashes and found him watching her.
“Truth,” she said again.
“Why did you back off that time we kissed? Was it because of your husband?” His voice was quiet now.
His question made Jennie freeze, her beer halfway to her mouth. She knew exactly what he was asking about. She’d kissed him once. And, for a minute, she forgot about Kyle. For one glorious, wonderful, breathtaking minute. One gut-wrenching, tortuous, heartbreaking minute she’d forgotten the man she loved.
The realization that Chad could make her forget her husband both broke her heart and scared the hell out of her at the same time. She lowered her beer and kept her eyes on the ocean. “I didn’t know you knew about…about Kyle.”
Chad’s eyes were gentle but they bore into her the same as they always did. “Background check. I always run them when someone joins Sutton. I never said anything because it wasn’t really related to the job. And, you never talked about him so I figured you didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I never thought about that.”
And then she recited the facts about her and Kyle’s marriage and his death. She recited them as if they were nothing more than facts.
Not as if they were the fundamental pieces of her life that had been torn apart, never to be put back together again. It was the only way she could get through it.
Chad was quiet while she told her story, and for several minutes afterward, and she was glad. Most people gasped and told her how sorry they were. Which did nothing to help her.
There was nothing that could fix her pain and Chad seemed to know this. After a minute, he took her hand and laced his fingers in hers, but still he didn’t speak.
“I pulled away the day we kissed because I…I don’t know. I just can’t even imagine being with anyone other than Kyle, you know?” She didn’t expect an answer and he didn’t give one. She knew that Chad did get it. Somehow, he understood.
She raised her bottle to her mouth and took a sip. “Truth or dare?” she asked.
A long drawn out moment passed before Chad answered. “Truth.”
“What are you thinking right now?”
Chad cleared his throat. “That you’re strong as hell. That I hate that there’s nothing I can say or do to take away your pain.” He paused. “That I want to go back to easier questions.”
She laughed but there wasn’t much humor in it.
“Truth or dare?” Chad asked.
“Truth.”
They played on, well into the night, keeping the topics light and fun from then on. As with everything between the two of them, it eventually snaked back around to sex and Chad threw back a question Jennie had asked him earlier.
“Kinkiest thing you’ve ever done.” Chad’s answer had made Jennie blush when she asked the question earlier in the night.
She squirmed, not wanting to tell Chad, but, he’d know if she lied. He always did.
She focused on the corner of the label on her beer bottle, peeling it away from the sweaty glass so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes.
“When we were in college, Kyle bought me these panties that, um…” she started. “They had, um, well, they were battery operated. And he had the remote control. We’d be studying and he could turn them on whenever he wanted and I couldn’t stop him. He’d get all turned on knowing he was teasing the crap out of me and, well, clearly I’d get all worked up. We’d see who could hold out the longest without jumping the other one.”
She thought back and laughed. “I don’t think it was really fair, though.”
“Wh...” Chad cleared his throat. “Why not?”
“When he lost, it just meant he had to do the dishes. When I lost, I got a spanking.” She was laughing but as soon as she said it she remembered how hot it had been when Kyle won.
She looked up at Chad and realized she’d probably had way too much to drink. That wasn’t a story she should have told. He was looking down at her, eyes intense and heated and focused only on her. She swallowed.
Chad got up suddenly and put his beer on the table next to them. He walked in the house without saying a word. Jennie followed, laughing.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t answer.
“Chad?” Jennie padded after him, a little wobbly on her feet after so many beers.
He walked in the bathroom but didn’t shut the door. He walked straight to the shower, stepped in with his clothes on, head down, as he turned the water on full blast.
She burst out laughing at the sight of him.
“Oh my God! Chad, what are you doing?”
He kept his back to her. “Taking a cold shower, Jen.”
“You’re crazy!”
He raised one hand to wave her off as he continued to let the water stream down over him.
“Nite, Jen. Get some sleep.”
Chapter 15
Chad woke with a headache. The cold shower had done little to erase the effects of Jennie’s
vibrating panties confession. His dreams had been filled with images of her moaning and squirming underneath his hands.
He knew they’d played with fire last night and he paid the price for it all night long as he chased her from dream to dream. From fantasy to fantasy.
It didn’t help that they’d had too much to drink either. It started with margaritas at dinner and ended with beer at the villa. Way too much beer. And too much talking.
Chad would’ve liked to focus on Jennie’s story about her very special little panties this morning, but his head was stuck on the fact that she was nowhere near over her husband. He suspected as much, but knowing it for sure seemed to cut deeper somehow. There were no words for how he felt about that.
Maybe his mom was right. Maybe he did do this to himself on purpose.
Well, if he did, he was damn good at it. What better woman to pick, if he subconsciously didn’t want things to work out, than a woman who was not only off limits because of their work roles, but who was also in love with her dead husband?
How do you compete with a ghost? A perfect ghost who was her soul mate in every way even when they were growing up?
Shoot me now.
Chad heard a groan come from the bedroom and knew Jennie was struggling as much as he was this morning. He sat up slowly and swung his legs to the floor. Sleeping on the couch was killing his back and his neck. He stretched out and stood to try and work out the kinks, then reached for the phone.
Jennie came out just as he hung up.
“Hey,” he said. “I ordered room service. Thought we’d stay in and try to recover this morning.”
She smiled at him but her eyes were tired and sad. He figured she could’ve done without the recap of her life with Kyle last night.
“Thanks. I don’t know if I can eat. I haven’t had that much to drink in years,” she said, rubbing her stomach. She got quiet for a minute and studied her feet. “Can I ask you a favor, Chad?”
“Anything. You know that.” He didn’t like how vulnerable she looked.
“Only Kelly knows about...about what I told you last night. Can you, um, not tell anyone else?”
Aw hell. He hated seeing her hurting. He wanted to fix everything for her. Hell, he’d bring back Kyle for her if he could, even if that meant seeing her with another man.
“Of course, Jennie. I promise.” He paused, then grinned at her, knowing he needed to take the edge off and make her smile. “I won’t tell anyone about your vibrating panties.”
“Gah! You...you...” She threw a flip flop at him and stomped off to the shower. But at least she was laughing. That’s all Chad could hope for now.
Chapter 16
They were almost at the end of their two weeks. Just four more nights. Kelly had called the day before and, so far, her doctor wasn’t predicting delivery any time soon. Even though Jack had said he had a jet standing by for them, Jennie still worried about Kelly delivering the baby before they got home.
She and Chad had become closer than ever, which was nice in some ways, but it did make resisting the pull of their sexual attraction a lot harder. They’d only held hands or danced a bit in public to keep up the pretense of being a happily married couple. But, even that little bit of closeness had Jennie tense and uneasy. Her body cried out for Chad with everything in it and she felt more than physical attraction at this point, but her heart also ached with every pull.
And Jennie was utterly exhausted from trying to fight it. She sat on the edge of the bed while Chad showered. And she did something she hadn’t done in a long time. She talked to Kyle. Not out loud. Only in her head. She needed him to know.
Please, Kyle. Please forgive me for this. I just want one night to forget. One night to not feel like I’ve been torn in half. To not remember. Just one night.
She took a deep breath and looked at the door to the bathroom and stood, pulling off her robe and letting it drop to the floor. She pushed open the door and stepped into the steamy room.
She knew Chad heard her. His back tensed right away and his hands stilled. He lowered his head and waited, and she wondered what thoughts would go through his head.
She slipped into the shower in front of him, turning as she did so she could see his face. He watched her so warily, holding his hands still. Not touching her or reaching for her.
She placed her palms flat on his chest and felt the sharp inhale of his breath. She looked up at him, thankful for the water that streamed over them. She didn’t want him to see her tears as she let her hands slip over the slick warmth of his skin.
“Make me forget, Chad. For one night. Please? Make me forget.”
He looked down at her, eyes blazing with heat, but also sadness. She didn’t want him to be sad for her and she didn’t want to make him sad. But, she couldn’t walk away anymore. She just couldn’t fight what was happening between them any longer.
As Chad looked down at Jennie, he knew he should walk away. Say no and leave it alone. But he couldn’t do that. He’d lost all his strength to fight this attraction and he didn’t want to walk away. He didn’t want to fight it.
He wanted her so badly, all he could think about was what she would taste like. What she would feel like, her soft body against his. The way she would feel when she wrapped her legs around him.
The way he could make her feel, make her squirm and cry out for him. What it would feel like to bury himself, to sink into the wet heat of her body and lose himself in the way she felt.
His mind had been scrambled since they got on the plane for Florida and it had taken everything he had in him to fight it the last ten days. With her here, asking him to touch her, he didn’t want to try to fight this anymore.
If he only got this one night, then so be it. He’d take one night if that’s all she could give him.
“Are you sure, Jennie? We can’t take this back if we do this.”
She nodded.
He leaned down and trapped her, arms on either side of her against the wall of the shower as his heart pounded in his chest. He was so close to what he’d wanted for so long, but he had to be sure she truly wanted this.
“Say it. Tell me you want this,” he said softly. Urgently. He could hear the need in his own voice and he could see a matching need in her eyes.
“I want this, Chad. For one night, I want this.” Her voice didn’t falter or waiver.
It was like unleashing a force he could no longer control. He leaned in and kissed her sweet, succulent mouth as he pressed her against the wall of the shower with his body and took what he had needed for so long.
He knew he shouldn’t. It was the most selfish, heartless thing he'd ever done, but he was defenseless against Jennie’s power.
He ignored the fact that she still loved her husband, that she hadn’t healed from the wounds his death had left and he took her.
Chad swept his tongue inside her mouth in a forceful, needy move. She met him with as much heat and desire and passion.
He lifted her, holding her on one of his thighs as he moved his mouth to her neck. He brushed his lips across her soft skin, taking in the sweet, silky feel of her. Breathing in that scent that was innately Jennie.
One hand closed on her breast as his mouth moved to capture the other one, covering her nipple. Jennie held the back of his head tight, pressing him to her as she arched her back and moaned. The sound hit him hard, going right to his already rock-hard cock.
Her nipples pebbled for him as he let his tongue swirl around them, grazing them with his teeth from time to time as she writhed in his arms. He’d never in his life experienced anything like the feel of Jennie in his arms.
All of his fantasies about her—and they had been plentiful and detailed and dirty—were nowhere close to the reality of her and the way she responded to his touch.
Chad slipped his hand between her legs and felt how wet she was already. He couldn’t stop himself. He lifted her higher and positioned himself between her legs.
She sank down so slowly on h
im, he thought he would burst. Or beg for mercy. The feeling of being inside Jennie was like nothing he ever could have imagined. She gripped him tightly and rocked her hips back and forth, tearing an almost animal-like sound from his lips.
He sank into her deep and hard, long slow strokes that made him ache for more. He never wanted this to end.
It took everything he had to stop them. Chad lifted Jennie off his cock and put her on the floor, reaching over to turn off the water.
“Condom,” he whispered as his mouth found hers again. “Bed.”
He skipped the towel and lifted her into his arms. He wanted back inside her. Now.
But when he got her to the bed and dug in his wallet for a condom, he placed it on the nightstand. She needed more than this. She needed to forget and he damn well was going to give her that.
Chad lowered himself to her peaches and cream thighs and let his hands travel over her heated flesh. Everything about her was softness to his hardness. He marveled at the feel of her; at how incredible she looked spread out for him.
For a minute, he thought of all the things he would do to her someday, but he made himself push those thoughts from his mind. There would be no someday between them. He knew better than to hope for more than this one night with her.
In fact, Chad was pretty confident it wouldn’t even be one full night. As soon as she remembered Kyle, she’d be done. He had this moment. Nothing more.
Driving everything else from his mind, Chad trailed his tongue slowly over Jennie’s flush skin, the swollen nub that would bring her pleasure and help her lose herself. He almost groaned out loud at the sweet taste of her.
He closed his mouth over her clitoris and tugged gently as she pushed her hips up, seeking more. She was swollen and wet and responding instantly to every touch, every movement.
He slipped one, then two fingers inside of her, wanting to hear the sweet little moans she made as she quivered in his hands. Holding her hips still with one hand, he circled and licked, then sucked hard once again. Her orgasm ripped through her in waves, muscles pulsing and throbbing from her release.
