by Lori Ryan
Chad hesitated. If he was at the meeting, he couldn’t be with Jennie. He couldn’t be by her side, keeping her safe. But, he also knew they’d never be able to stop running if he didn’t flush out Bandon and anyone else who was helping Bandon.
Chad’s eyes caught Jennie’s and he knew she couldn’t keep living on the run. No one, other than him and Mike, Burke’s supervisor and the attorney assigned to the case would know she was here and security in his building was tight. He decided he could leave her here safely.
Mike and Chad chose a time and location for the following day. With any luck, they’d draw Bandon out of hiding, prove Burke was guilty of leaking information —at the very least—and most likely of accepting bribes that could have the case tied up without Jennie’s testimony, by the following day.
Jennie watched Chad talk on the phone and tried to make sense of the emotions swirling around in her head and her heart. This was only the second time she had slept in his arms, despite the fact that they’d lived together for a month.
The first time, in Florida, Jennie had been hiding from her feelings. Today, she still couldn’t say she was completely open to her feelings for Chad, but she was a lot more open to them than she had been a few days earlier.
She was beginning to accept how much she cared for him. He’d been her friend for so long. Her support in so many ways. He protected her. He cared for her without question whenever she needed him.
But there was more than that. He made her feel special. Cherished. He made her laugh and he held her when she cried. So many men would have walked away from her a long time ago, considering what she’d put him through. She knew it would never have crossed Chad’s mind to do that.
Chad hung up the phone and turned to Jennie. Before she could speak, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her slowly, deeply. Jennie felt herself relax into him. He felt so...right. But a small part of Jennie still panicked at what that might mean.
Chad pulled back. “You okay?”
Jennie nodded, forcing herself to breathe deeply. She needed to put the past behind her and let herself see where things could go with Chad. She owed herself that. More than that, she owed Chad that much.
“I’m good. Hungry,” she said, patting her tummy. As if on cue, her stomach growled.
With a laugh, he stood and put his hand out to pull Jennie up with him.
If she weren’t pregnant and very much in need of food, the sight of Chad without anything on would have sent her tumbling right back into bed. She would never get over the sight of him like that.
Jennie thought she could spend hours learning every inch of his body, exploring every muscle, memorizing each taut line and every scar from his days in the military.
“Keep looking at me like that and we’re not getting food any time soon,” Chad said, eyes ablaze as they took her in.
“Sorry, baby needs food,” she answered, with one hand on her stomach again.
He dropped a kiss to her mouth then pulled on a pair of boxers and a shirt.
“Why don’t you get dressed? I’ll see if there’s anything to eat in the kitchen. There won’t be anything fresh but I might have some frozen bread I can toast to tide us over.”
Jennie’s repertoire of foods she could eat was still a bit limited. They walked down the hall together with Chad breaking off to turn toward the kitchen and Jennie heading into the guest room to get her clothes. She pulled on a sundress then sat staring at her purse for a few minutes. She knew what she needed to do. She just needed a minute to build up the courage to take the next step.
She took a deep breath and went to the small zippered pocket of her purse. The envelope she withdrew was soft with age. Some of the seams were threatening to give up. It was still sealed. In all these years, she’d transferred it from purse to purse, never opening it.
Kyle had told her to open it when she was ready. She never had been.
She wasn’t sure she was ready now, but she knew she had to get there. It was time for her to put the past behind her. Jennie sat on the edge of the bed for a long time before she slipped a finger under the flap, tearing along the well-worn seam. Her hands shook as she unfolded the single sheet of paper.
She laughed through her tears as she read the first sentence.
How many years did it take, Jennie? One? Two? I hope not more than that, Bugsy.
Jennie had no idea how Kyle had come up with the nickname ‘Bugsy’ for her, but he had. And, it had stuck.
I thought I could beat this thing, but I waited too long. I thought there was so much time, but it turns out I was wrong about that. I wanted so many more years with you.
I wanted a lifetime to make you happy. To make you laugh. To raise babies with you and see what an amazing mom you would be. I wanted all of that and I’m so sorry I couldn’t give that to you. I’m so sorry.
I know it’s cliché but I want you to fall in love again, Jennie. I know you. You’ll resist it. You’ll fight to hold on to what we had. But I need you to let go—for me. I need to know you’ll be happy again someday.
I can’t stand the thought of you going through life without really smiling. Really laughing. Without being held and loved and cherished.
Tears fell in large droplets onto the paper, smudging the ink as Jennie read. There wasn’t any reining them in. She swiped at the tears with the back of her hands but more just followed.
It kills me to think of someone else holding you, but this is one time I can’t be selfish. I don’t want you to be alone. So pick a man who makes you smile. Who makes you laugh. Who loves you and makes everything right in your world. Promise me, Bugsy. Move on.
And every once in a while, look up to the sky and let me see your gorgeous face. Your funny lopsided smile and your beautiful cinnamon eyes.
And for heaven’s sake, if it took you longer than two years to open this letter, find him quickly! You’ve wasted enough time.
I’ll love you always and forever,
Kyle
Jennie was laughing and crying when she heard the door open behind her. Chad sat quietly on the bed next to her without saying a word. He reached for a tissue and wiped her face for her, then passed her a plate of toast.
“Eat.”
Without a word, she took the plate and handed the letter to Chad. He looked at it and looked back at her.
“Where’d this come from?” he asked.
“I’ve been carrying it around in my purse.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You just opened it now?”
Jennie laughed and brushed at her tears with the back of her hand. “I’m slow. But apparently he knew that.”
She nodded at the letter. Chad looked at her for a second but began to read.
“Bugsy?” he asked with a smile.
She smiled and nodded, biting into the hot toast as Chad continued to read.
“He was a smart man,” he said when he finished the letter. “You should listen to him.”
She laughed and they sat quietly while Jennie ate and Chad waited. When she finished, he took the plate from her hands and set it on the table next to the bed. He pulled her onto his lap and held her tight.
She wasn’t crying anymore. She held onto Chad and let all the heartache and pain she’d been holding in for so long seep from her body. She’d never felt more emotionally drained.
But she also felt better than she had in a long time. She felt lighter, as if she’d finally lost a great load she’d carried for far too long.
She knew it was time to let Kyle go. And, she didn’t need Kyle to tell her to fall in love with Chad. She’d fallen in love with him a long time ago. She had just needed Kyle to tell her it was okay to feel that way. To let Chad all the way in.
“I love you, Chad,” Jennie said. “I think I always have.”
She felt his head nuzzle her neck and he held her even tighter but didn’t say anything for a long time. Just when she thought he wasn’t going to say anything at all, he finally spoke.
“I’ve
loved you forever, Jen. I always have and I always will.”
“You’re gonna marry me, right Chad?”
This got a bark of laughter from Chad.
“No.”
“What?” Jennie sat up and put both hands on his face, pulling his head up to face her. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not allowed to propose to me, Jennie. That’s my job. Besides, you did it wrong. You don’t have a ring or anything. You’re supposed to be down on one knee with a ring when you propose.”
“I’d look silly if I did that.” She leaned back and looked at him. “You chauvinist pig. That’s, that’s... You can’t do that. You’re turning me down? You’re not going to marry me?”
“Nope.” He smiled and touched her lips with his finger, gently, then brushed his lips to hers. “I’m turning you down.”
“What! You can’t do that. You love me. I’m having your baby. You have to marry me!”
He grinned and shook his head.
“I’ll let you help me name the baby if you marry me,” she said, opening the negotiations.
Chad laughed and flipped Jennie under him, coming down on top of her. He kissed her long and hard, erasing her indignation. Erasing all thoughts from her head, ending all negotiations.
He quickly stripped her of her clothes, following with his own. He turned her on her side and lay next to her, slipping easily into her wet folds, plunging slowly but deeply into her. He drew gasp after gasp of pure pleasure from her as he took them both to climax in the gentlest lovemaking Jennie had ever felt.
And, Jennie felt whole again. The pieces of her life that had been so torn apart had been put back together. The end product didn’t look the same as it once had, but that was okay.
She knew she would love this life as much as she’d loved her life with Kyle. And she knew Kyle would want it that way.
Chapter 36
Jennie watched Chad get ready for the fake meeting with Burke and Mike. After hearing about the arson attempt, Agent Burke told Chad he planned to fly up and take Jennie’s statement personally.
Chad and Mike weren't sure whether that made him seem more or less guilty. It was possible he wanted to be here to make sure his witness was safe or it could mean he wanted to be here to be sure Bandon got the job done and took Jennie out.
Either way, they decided not to take any chances. Jennie would be nowhere near the meeting. She’d stay locked away in Chad’s condo while they went to see Burke.
They considered moving her to a hotel, but the condo had doormen on twenty-four-seven who wouldn’t let a soul up into the condo without Chad or Jennie’s permission, and none of the stairwells or elevators could be accessed without an electronic keycode. It would be much harder for anyone to access than a hotel where people could come and go and blend in with ease.
Jennie felt tears burn behind her eyes as she kissed Chad good-bye.
“Hey,” he said, tilting her head to force her to meet his eyes. “I’ll be right back, Jen. I promise. A couple of hours and all this will be over.”
She nodded, but she was about to lose her battle with the tears. When she tried to speak the tears fell.
“I can’t lose you, too, Chad. I can’t go through that again,” she said, panic rising in her lungs, threatening to suffocate her if she didn’t get it under control. Her heart was beating so fast, she wondered if it would hurt the baby if she didn’t find a way to calm down, but she couldn’t.
He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the floor, holding her tight.
“You won’t lose me,” he whispered in her ear, his voice husky. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll be back here, forcing you to eat healthy meals and bugging you about having too many pastries before you know it. Hell, you’ll be so tired of me, you’ll probably be kicking me out of my own house by tomorrow night. I promise.”
She nodded but held tight for a few more minutes, wrapped around him, memorizing the feel of him, his steady, quiet strength.
She kissed him hard and let go, letting him walk away, but praying he'd be back and this would all be over soon.
Chad pulled into the hotel parking lot. They’d fed the location to Burke the day before so Burke would have plenty of time to get the false lead to Bandon.
Only Burke’s direct supervisor, AUSA Waters and those directly involved in the sting knew the location was a setup and Jennie would be hiding at Chad’s house instead of showing up for the meet. The agents at the sting had been handpicked by Mike, and Chad trusted Mike not to use anyone he wasn’t one hundred percent sure about.
Chad knew that Burke and Mike would already be waiting in the room the bureau had rented for the meeting. Since Burke had never met Jennie, it had been easy for Mike to find a smaller female agent with similar hair color to play the part of Jennie.
Agent Kirsten Danners sat next to Chad in the cab of his truck, a bullet-proof vest under her clothing, ready to put her life on the line to draw out a killer. Her hair was too red to be Jennie, but it would have to do. It would be close enough to fool anyone who had a general description of Jennie and happened to be watching them enter or exit the building.
Chad scanned the parking lot as they entered the building and he knew Agent Danners would do the same. His eyes flicked to rooftops, windows, and surrounding cars. No sign of anyone suspicious, but he did spot the two backup agents they had planted outside.
One agent was up on a telephone pole, his position as a fake repairman giving him a good eagle-eye view of the surrounding area. The other was dressed as a maintenance worker and pushed a cart from trash can to trash can emptying the garbage liners and picking up any litter on his route.
The arsonists Bandon had sent to Jennie’s parents’ house were pretty inexperienced guys. Just hired muscle following directions, but so far, they weren’t spilling anything to the police. Chad was hoping Bandon would show up to do the job himself this time instead of sending anyone else who might screw it up again.
As Chad walked across the parking lot with Danners at his side, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Something didn’t feel right about this, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.
His eyes roamed the area once again. Nothing had changed. No signs that anything had gone wrong, but he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling.
Chad and Agent Danners knocked on the door to the hotel room and waited for Mike to open the door. When he did, Chad stepped through first, quickly taking in the room. Only Agent Burke sat in the room. The curtains had been drawn and Burke had a notepad in front of him ready to take notes.
“You cleared the room?” Chad asked Mike, knowing the answer but needing to ask anyway.
Mike nodded and then introduced Chad and Danners to Agent Burke, introducing Danners as Jennie Evans. Chad kept a protective hand on Danners as he guided her to the sofa, as he would have if Danners were Jennie.
He watched Burke closely, assessing his body language. Burke didn’t bat an eye when the agent was introduced as Jennie. He appeared to have no idea this wasn’t the real Jennie.
Mike and Agent Danners sat on the sofa across from Burke but Chad stood, watching Burke.
Burke leaned forward, appearing earnest as he started his interview. He didn’t bother to try to set his witness at ease before jumping right into questioning her, but he was gentle in his questioning.
“Before we go into the details of your trip to Florida, I want to talk about last night a bit, Jennie. We need to get to the bottom of who tried to set your parents’ house on fire,” Burke said. When he continued, he looked up at Chad and then back to the fake Jennie. “Who knew you were coming home last night?”
As Agent Danners answered him, feeding him the information she’d been given for her role as Jennie, Chad continued to watch Burke. There wasn’t a single clue that he was being anything other than honest in his line of questioning.
No eye-blocking behavior like lowering of his eyelids or rubbing an eye. He didn’t en
gage in any pacifying behaviors like tugging at his collar or rubbing the back of his neck. It didn’t mean he wasn’t lying, especially since he would have received training in the area of body language and deceit as an FBI agent, but Chad was pretty damn good at spotting a lie. He wasn’t seeing anything but honesty as he looked at Burke.
He caught Mike’s eye and he knew Mike was thinking the same thing. Burke was questioning Agent Danners as if he genuinely wanted to get to find out who was behind the attempted arson the night before.
If he’d been the one to leak the information, it was unlikely he’d raise the issue first. It was more likely he would have had an ambush out in the parking lot that Danners and Chad would have had to deal with on the way in.
Mike spoke up, breaking into the conversation Burke was having with Danners. “Agent Burke, I think we need to follow all possible avenues here. Who did you contact after hearing from Chad about Jennie’s whereabouts last night?”
Burke’s eyes shot to Mike first then to Chad and all Chad saw was genuine shock, followed by anger. Mike diffused his anger by holding up a hand in appeasement.
“I only ask because we need to trace all possible avenues of a leak. We need to know who you passed the info on to, so we can track those leads,” Mike said.
Burke nodded and the anger seeped from him but you could still see a hint of indignation at having another agent question him. Mike outranked Burke as a Supervisory Special Agent, so Chad knew Burke wasn’t likely to argue.
Mike’s phone rang as Burke opened his mouth to speak. Mike glanced at the screen before taking the call with an apologetic look to the group. They listened as he grunted a couple of responses then looked up at Chad with startled eyes.
“What is it?” Chad asked as soon as Mike ended the call.
“I had one of my people running down anything we could find on the two men who tried to start the fire at Jennie’s parent’s house. They’re out on bail on charges of grand larceny in an auto theft ring in Florida. The AUSA on their case is Caroline Waters,” Mike said.
