by Melody Anne
Miranda mumbled a thanks to me as she climbed from the car. It was so dark at her house. I was pretty sure the porch light was out. I was trying desperately not to look too much at it. But it was impossible not to notice things.
The house was actually a singlewide trailer, and it was more than obvious it was old — really old. Though it looked like a strong wind might actually blow the thing away, I definitely noticed it was well maintained. The yard was mowed, and the siding was sprayed clean.
But I couldn’t imagine living in such a place. It seemed so odd to me. I tore my gaze away, reached into the back of my car, and grabbed her bag. It was surprisingly heavy.
I didn’t want her to trip on her way to the porch, though it was more likely I’d fall since I wasn’t familiar with the yard. Still, I placed my hand behind her back and led her up the rickety front steps.
I had a massive urge to take her away from the place, to save her. Who was I to decide this was a bad place? Who was I to decide if she needed saved or not? But none of that mattered to my seventeen-year-old brain. I wanted to be her hero, wanted to take her away from what I deemed to be a hard life.
We stood for several moments on her porch, and I wanted desperately to lean forward and connect my lips with hers. I’d never in my life wanted to kiss someone so desperately. It was as if a magnet drew me closer to her each minute of the day, and there was no chance I wanted to escape the pull.
“I’m glad I found you tonight, Miranda,” I said, hearing the huskiness in my voice.
For the briefest of moments she leaned toward me as if she wanted the exact same thing I did. But then her eyes widened, and she sucked in a breath. I knew my kiss wasn’t going to happen.
I decided I was going to be a gentleman and told her I’d see her tomorrow. She stood for a moment longer, then she grabbed her bag, gave me a quick goodbye, and rushed inside her place . . . that wasn’t locked.
I was horrified by that thought. In California we would’ve never left our door unlocked, not even in the safety of our gated community.
But I’d heard her father was a very large man. Maybe no one would dare enter their place without permission. I was probably a fool to be chasing after her. I guessed I was going to find that out sooner rather than later.
I left her place and jumped into my car. I blasted my music on the way home and sang along with the radio. It had been a perfect night, and tomorrow was going to be an even better day.
I was getting the girl. That was a certainty. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep her once I had her. That took the joy out of me as I pulled up to my house, a mansion compared to her place.
What in the world was I doing? This wasn’t a girl to play games with. It wasn’t cool. I assured myself that wasn’t what I was doing.
Honestly I don’t think I had any idea what was up or down anymore, let alone what I was feeling. Only time was going to tell.
Chapter Four
I took Miranda on our gold finding mission, and of course it was far too expensive to buy. She was disappointed until I pulled out a clear bag with chains inside. She looked at me with suspicion and I laughed, trying to keep things as cool as possible as I shrugged.
“I have a metal detector, and I found all of this on the beaches of California. You can take it guilt-free for your project, knowing it didn’t cost me a dime,” I told her. It was a lie. There were five chains in the bag, and I’d either bought all of them or had received them as gifts. But she didn’t need to know that. I wanted her to be able to make the jewelry she was creating in her art class.
“You really didn’t buy these?” she asked.
It was scary how easily I was able to look her in the eyes and lie. “Nope. I didn’t pay a dime for them.”
She grinned at me. It was the most stunning, heart-wrenching smile I’d ever been blessed to receive. There was so much joy in her eyes, where disappointment had filled them earlier. It took my breath away.
I had to grip my steering wheel to keep from leaping across the middle console in the car and taking her lips in mine.
“You are so beautiful, Miranda,” I told her, knowing how much awe was in my voice.
Her smile slowly faded and she looked away from me. I wanted to kick myself for screwing up this moment. I was doing everything I could think of to get the mood back.
“When you get your way,” I told her with a forced laugh.
Her brow wrinkled as she looked at me with confusion. I gave her a wicked grin. Finally she smiled again then laughed. I wanted to know if she didn’t want my compliments because she thought of me as nothing more than a friend or if she didn’t want them because she didn’t value herself. I was determined to find out.
I wanted to be a different person when I was with her. She wasn’t perfect, as I wasn’t, but together we both seemed to be . . . better. It was odd. Soon I found she was the only one I needed in my life.
My mother talked to me, saying we were moving too quickly, and I shouldn’t be so wrapped up in one person. I didn’t care. I was falling in love, or at least I was falling in love with the idea of love. I wasn’t really sure which it was. To tell the truth, I still don’t know.
I spent my days and nights with her. Time quickly moved forward with March fading into April, and May coming and going too quickly. Then it was June. Summer on the Oregon coast was almost magical. Yeah, yeah, I know that’s not something guys normally say or even think, but after growing up in the heat of California, it was almost indescribable how beautiful Oregon was in the summer.
Maybe it was all part of the magic of this new relationship. I wasn’t quite sure. Maybe it was the place or the time. I think we were all ready for different adventures at new junctions in our lives. I was ready for Miranda as I became a man. Maybe our time should have come and gone. But during that time, the thought didn’t cross my mind.
I didn’t need to work, but I wanted more time with her so I took a job as a cook at a seafood place where she was bussing tables. I found I actually liked working there. Half the staff were students from our high school, and most of them were in good spirits every day.
It humbled me a little. Money had always come so easily for me. I guess I never thought about how hard it was for others. Twenty dollars in tips at the end of the day made their eyes light up. There are days now I’d love to go back to that summer, to be that innocent, to be that appreciative.
I try not to think that way. I try to appreciate every experience in my life. That way I know I’ve lived my life the best I possibly can. That way I’m filled with purpose instead of regrets.
But that summer, that job, and that girl had been the center of my universe.
After work, we’d pile as many kids as possible into my car and go watch a movie, take a drive, or my favorite, head to the store and grab some soda and junk food then spend all night at the beach with a fire, some music, and laughter.
There was so much freedom that summer. I would soon be a fool and change my entire life, but that summer I was nothing more than a naïve kid with real friends who liked me for me and not for what I could do for them.
On the nineteenth of June I was nervous. Though Miranda and I had been practically inseparable, we had technically remained friends for three months. She hadn’t told me she wanted to make it anything more than that, not in words at least. But I could feel the change between us. And I was a teenage boy. I wanted more than a hug at the end of the day. I was having dreams about this girl, whether I was asleep or awake.
That night I picked her up and felt the shift in the air. I wondered if she did as well. I was shaking with nerves which later irritated me. I was far too sophisticated to be scared of what she’d say when I asked her to be mine. I even tried telling myself at the end of the day it didn’t matter. I was foolish then, and honestly, I’m foolish now.
I drove her to the lake. It was my favorite
place to be with her. We went there often to walk the trails, swim, have a fire, and talk. There was no better place for us to share our first kiss. I couldn’t imagine she wouldn’t feel the same way.
I decided to just spit it out. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for a long time,” I told her. She gave me a confused stare.
“Is everything okay?” Her confusion turned to worry. I was already screwing this up.
I didn’t say a word as I jumped from my car and ran around the hood to her side. I held out my hand to assist her out, but instead of letting go as I normally did, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close.
I’d given her many hugs, but this time was different. This time I allowed myself to appreciate her feminine curves pressing against me, the way her back dipped in just above the curve of her seriously beautiful ass. I gently ran my fingers in a circle and felt a shiver travel through her. I was trying to find the words I wanted so desperately to say. Maybe I should’ve waited to pull her into my arms the way I’d been wanting to for so long. I took a deep breath.
“I love you, Miranda. I can’t go a single minute without thinking about you. You come to me in my dreams, day and night. I make up excuses to seek you out. Please say you’ll be mine,” I said. I couldn’t take my eyes from hers.
As if this was all meant to be, the clouds broke and a full moon shone down on us, making her smooth skin seem almost ethereal. I smiled, very aware of how close our lips were.
I knew before she said anything there was no other direction for us to go. I knew she was mine — had been mine for a very long time. This was the first relationship I’d ever had where I connected so deeply to a person without sex.
She whispered yes to me, the sound breathless and excited. I tightened my hold on her, my body tight and excited. I couldn’t help but smile. I felt as if I’d just won the lottery.
She was mine. All mine.
“I’ll never let you go,” I told her, feeling possessive and powerful at the same time. The thought of her getting away from me almost filled me with rage. The emotions were too powerful. We were too young. But all I could think, over and over again in my young mind, was that she was mine. She would stay mine.
I easily lifted her feet off the ground and spun her in a circle. The smell of her scented shampoo drifted over us as the silken strands of her hair fluttered behind her. Damn! She was perfection.
Unable to wait another second, I set her down as my head descended in one smooth motion. Her body was pressed tightly against mine as I tasted her lips.
I wasn’t at all disappointed. The wait was well worth it.
She was as hungry as I was, her hands moving upward across my shoulders as her fingers played in my hair. Her lips were tentative at first, but as my tongue touched her bottom lip she wiggled against me, her mouth opening as she learned to kiss.
Knowing she’d never been intimate with another man fed my possessiveness. This was all new to her. I’d be the one to bring her unbelievable joy. I’d be the one to show her what passion was all about.
The kiss grew more heated and I reluctantly broke away, looking at her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. I lifted my hand and traced my thumb across her bottom lip. She kissed it, and I smiled.
“I’ll never hurt you,” I assured her.
She beamed at me.
I truly meant those words in that moment. I truly believed nothing could ever make either of us hurt the other. I was so naïve then. Damn, I miss feeling that way.
We spent the rest of the night sitting at the lake and talking about our dreams, never having a clue the rest of the world existed. All I cared about right then was that she was wrapped in my arms, and I could now kiss her anytime I wanted to.
It was magic. And I don’t even care if it’s odd for me to think that way because I’ve never experienced that magic again.
Chapter Five
Once Miranda officially became mine, we were even more connected. Something shifted. Day after day we were together. We worked, and we snuck off, not noticing we were pulling away from our friends.
I tried to be patient, to draw out this phase of our relationship, but I’d been in love with her from the moment I laid eyes on her on that dune. I wanted to be as close to her as two people could possibly be.
I wasn’t sure if it was a deeper connection than hormones, but all I could think about was making love to her. She hadn’t been with anyone else so I didn’t want to rush her, but I was a teenage boy. I had needs. And each time we kissed . . . and added a bit more to it, I could feel she wanted the same.
Months had passed since we’d become a couple, and we had done everything two teens could possibly do without the actual act of intercourse. I wasn’t sure how much longer either of us would last. I didn’t understand why so many people told us we were supposed to wait.
If something felt as good as sex, why was it considered taboo? I still don’t understand that concept. I don’t understand what’s wrong with sleeping with multiple people. I don’t understand why it’s supposed to be sacred. Yeah, it’s intimate, but if a person is being careful and not spreading things, why couldn’t everyone just enjoy sex without shame, without remorse, without regrets?
Maybe if I asked enough people I’d finally get the answer.
I took Miranda to the beach, our favorite place. She loved when I got romantic so I put extra time into thinking of things she’d like. It was odd because I’d never done that for anyone before. I hadn’t cared much about the girl’s feelings. I’d been more concerned with mine.
I laid out a blanket on the warm sand, and a nice breeze blew over us as I held her tightly in my arms. We lay there and talked and kissed and touched as the sun sank in the sky. Miranda said there wasn’t a single day she wasn’t grateful to see a sunset on the ocean.
It was another thing I’d always taken for granted.
I could feel my body stirring as we looked at the stars and talked about how vast the universe was, and how small we were. We both wondered if there were other life forms out there, if there were other worlds. Were aliens real? Was there a God? If there was one for this planet, were there multiple gods for multiple worlds? It was kind of fascinating to consider.
Even though we were having a deep conversation, I was very aware of how her breasts felt against my chest as she lay half on me. I was very aware of my hand rubbing along her back, getting lower and lower with each pass.
After a while I needed more than a few sweet kisses. I turned us so she was on her back, my body covering hers. The first real kiss was full of heat and passion. Her hands lifted, tangling in my hair and tugging me closer as she spread her legs and wrapped them around me, causing my already painful arousal to pulse with the desire to rip away the clothes keeping me from plunging deep inside her.
She was so perfect. Soon, touching her through her clothes wasn’t enough for me. I leaned back and tugged on her shirt, quickly tossing it aside. She shivered below me and sighed. I unclipped the front of her bra and her breasts spilled into my hands. I’d done this many times before, but tonight I felt a shift in the air; I felt as if this was leading to more.
I took her sweet nipple into my mouth and sucked; she arched her hips off the blanket, rubbing herself against me. I groaned before sucking her other nipple and giving it a little nip that made her cry out in pleasure.
I reached between us and slid my hand up her skirt. She didn’t try to close her legs. Normally this was where she told me we were moving too fast, but she didn’t. I slid my finger inside the elastic of her lace panties and felt wet heat coating her.
She wanted me as much as I wanted her. My head grew light at the thought.
I slid my finger inside her tight body and she cried out. I moved it in and out of her heated flesh and she moaned. I pulled out, and the next time I pushed in I used two fingers. She was so damn tight.
Her legs spread a little more as I continued kissing her. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure how to please a girl. I was nineteen, and though I’d had sex before — being honest, a bit too much sex — it had been more about me than the girls I’d been with. But as I played with her, I listened to the sounds of her pleasure.
If I touched her in certain places and she squirmed and moaned, I knew to do it again. We played and touched and slowly removed our clothes. Now that I knew it was going to happen, I wanted it to last all night.
I covered her body with mine when there were no clothes between us. I stopped and looked in her eyes — her beautiful brown eyes. Excitement gleamed back at me. We were doing this. We’d never go back again.
She gave me the slightest of nods, and I felt my arousal pulse with the need to bury myself in her. We were stupid, and neither of us had thought to use protection. Luckily nothing had happened. Our lives would have been forever changed if I’d gotten her pregnant that night. Who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t have been all bad.
I reached between us and gripped my pulsing erection to keep myself from hurting her. I pushed halfway inside her tight body. I felt her tense, saw pain flash in her eyes. I’d never been with a virgin before, but I’d heard it was painful for them. I wanted her to feel pleasure, not pain.
Though I hated she was hurting, she felt so damn good. I couldn’t stop a groan from escaping me. She let out another sound so I thought she was ready, thought she was over the pain and was now feeling the same pleasure I was.
I pushed all the way in her as I buried my head in her neck and sucked on her sweaty skin. I began moving, faster and faster. She was so hot, so tight, so perfect.
I didn’t last nearly as long as I would’ve liked that night. I could’ve been happy to stay inside her until sunrise. But it had been a long time, and we fit so perfectly together. I came with a groan, my pleasure making her tight heat even hotter.
