There was an edge of tentativeness now that confirmed to Amelia he wasn't fully convinced. But he was sincere in his hope just as Queen Alita was sincere in her fear. Amelia chose her words carefully. "I will try to influence Naatos in every way that I can. He and I have a bargain on the table which, if he chooses to honor, will keep Libysha and all the worlds safe. I have agreed to do all that he wishes so long as he and his brothers simply restore the Tue-Rahs and refrain from conquering the worlds or even other nations. If they find a place that wants them to rule, then fine. Otherwise, no. And I am not simply being stubborn in this nor am I afraid. Naatos doesn't like resistance. Except when dealing with the Neyeb, he punishes disobedience with death. He makes examples. I don't know what Ecekom will be like, but Eiram will be a blood bath. I grew up in a small town where almost every family had three guns and rifles. Often more. Some have better arsenals of weapons than our Ayamin, and it's not possible to convince them that they can't win a fight. When they see an army of shapeshifters sweeping across the countryside like locusts, they're going to fight. They will fight to the death, and they are not alone in the worlds in that response."
"But Naatos and his brothers see you as family. Surely they will listen to you," King Theol said.
Amelia restrained a laugh. Standing, she crossed to the other side of the room. Absently, she drew a line in the thick blue floral rug. "That's what everyone here seems to think, but no. They think I'm foolish too." She scoffed, her mind trailing to frustration. "Naatos isn't going to change his plans yet, and my cooperating will just be a sign that he is on the right path. In his mind, he is so close to success, he won't change his plans. He doesn't even see this imprisonment as being much of a setback. It's just a minor delay. Besides, he has to control the nations surrounding the Tue-Rahs to solidify his best path to victory." Amelia paused, staring out the window.
The primary garden was in full bloom. Large white, pink, lavender, and blue olna blossoms spread their petals to the warm light of the setting sun. Columns of well-trimmed hedges lined artistically segmented patches of earth covered in vibrant irises and vivid tulips. Once more she had the eerie realization of how little an imprint Naatos and his brothers had made in their attack. The Hall of Memories and central courtyard were likely the most damaged along with the lives lost. How easy would it be to forget and be seduced by words if she forgot the people?
She wrapped her arms about herself. "In truth, I don't even know that they'll honor any promise. They've lied to me before, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to get me to cooperate. Provided it does not contradict their ultimate goals. Besides, WroOth is probably the most unstable, and this is his world so his choices are as law. He might turn around and destroy Libysha simply for the fun of it."
"They seem the sort that would," Queen Alita said.
Amelia nodded, realizing that they did and didn't. It was easier for the explanation to leave it at that. It was one of the things that troubled her though. Now that she had said it aloud, she wasn't sure if WroOth would. He might threaten to. He might—she shook her head to dispel the thoughts. This wasn't where her mind should be going.
"Then I suppose we must consider other avenues." King Theol sighed.
"I could never have given my blessing," Queen Alita said, her tone sharp. "That man is a monster, and his brothers are no better."
"Given that we cannot bless this union, then I am afraid that other measures must be taken given the peril of our current situation, and yours in particular," King Theol said.
Amelia glanced at them. The king now held one of his goblets in hand, but he had not drunk from it yet. His fingers moved uneasily over the ridges and ornamentation of the bowl. She couldn't quite place his mood aside from a general unease that had worsened. It overwhelmed anything she might have felt from Queen Alita, but the queen no longer looked as troubled.
Queen Alita slid her hand along the king's. "We were both to attend regardless. Shuano will listen to me. And if Shuano listens, we may strike a compromise."
"Perhaps. But this is more than allowances and mineral rights." King Theol kissed her fingers, but the concern remained apparent. He returned his gaze to Amelia. "I am willing to trust that you are acting in the manner that you see most appropriate when dealing with the three Paras. But the perception of others must be taken into account. It is difficult enough that you have returned, and the fact that you are married to Naatos in a union that offers no benefits to the people will make them hostile. So…I am taking back my order that you are to be in charge of the Paras' care."
"What?" Amelia exclaimed. "Because you think I'm too compassionate and I won't lie to Naatos?"
"I am afraid that you cannot even be allowed near the dungeons. It is too dangerous. And there is the matter of how it is likely to affect you," King Theol said.
"Affecting me?" Amelia's frown deepened. "What do you mean?"
"It is possible that given your combative nature that being near the Paras is drawing out certain…qualities of the cursed nature." King Theol cleared his throat. "Not that we do not trust you or that we think you are really a…"
"A monster?" Amelia set her arms akimbo. "You think that my taking care of them is bringing out the worst in me? This is because of Vorec isn't it?"
"You did beat him with a chair," King Theol pointed out. Queen Alita turned her face downward as if the statement wounded her.
Amelia nodded sharply. "Yes, after he antagonized and attacked me. He hit me in the head twice. Does that mean nothing?"
"The elder commander is an honorable man. He is sometimes prone to coarseness, but I have never known him to act without purpose." King Theol spoke with caution, his gaze fixed on her in a manner she suspected he would use with problematic nobles and unruly dignitaries.
"So I deserved it?" Amelia barely resisted the scream building within her chest. "Is that what you're saying?"
King Theol lifted his hands, speaking even slower now. "There were misunderstandings to be certain. And he can be overzealous in his defense of Libysha. But my greater concern is that given you are under a blood curse, it would be for the best if you were not to be further angered."
"Then don't take away my ability to care for the former Paras. If anyone else goes beyond the white line, they risk death. Do you want more dead bodies?" Amelia demanded. "More senseless deaths?"
"I have warned the Paras that unless they swear not to harm the attendants, they will be given no food or water. Surprisingly that has elicited no response except derision." King Theol drummed his fingers on the table. "They are…unconcerned."
"They're unconcerned because if a Vawtrian reaches a point of starvation or severe dehydration or just gets close to death, they get a large burst of energy. Enough to probably get them out of those cells!"
"And who told you that?" King Theol tilted his head. "A Vawtrian, yes? Didn't it occur to you that he might have been lying? And if that was the case, why would they eat or drink anything?"
"Because they're not in much of a hurry right now. They want to see what happens. And…" Amelia paused, realizing that they might also be waiting on her. They had mentioned several times that she needed to release them. That she needed to join them. That her own people were going to turn on her. What if they were waiting so that she could see that herself? Then their release and vengeance would be as much her doing as theirs.
She ran her hand through her hair, the thoughts passing over her with increasing discomfort. "And I read it in one of those books too." She motioned toward the stack of books beside the bag. "Look for yourself."
"It sounds like more legend and wishful thinking on the Vawtrian's part. There is no reason for them to wait here given all of their plans."
"They think you are all going to betray me," Amelia said. "They want me to join them, and if they wait long enough, they think that…" She struggled to force herself to say the words, but she failed.
"Then they will be waiting a long time. What I am doing is preci
sely to prevent such a betrayal and to protect you," King Theol said. "And given the importance of this, it is a second order decree. You may not visit or tend to the Paras. The punishment for such a violation will be severe. This should not be difficult for you to follow. If they are waiting for your compliance, then they will want food and drink."
The thought disturbed Amelia deeply. What vengeance would the brothers wreak on Libysha? How many were going to die? Her stomach twisted.
"This will eventually work out for the best. You'll see," King Theol said. "No one will harm you, and the people of Libysha will soon understand what you have done and why you did what you had to do. Besides, in the end, it will be your choice whether you believe that your people would betray you, and you know that they never would."
Amelia nodded, but she was not convinced. The mob in New Istador had been ready to kill her.
"It would be for the best if you remained here in the palace though," King Theol continued. "Your mother and I must leave with Linufe to meet with our allies. We depart in the morning, and we will be gone until an agreement has been reached. It is possible that what has happened will absolve me of my father's vow and permit us to create a standing army among other things. You do understand who will be in charge in our absence?"
Amelia gritted her teeth. "Vorec." They could be so grateful that the blood curse was not what they thought. The cold bead pulsed within her mind at the mention of his name. "Given what has happened, could you not find another?"
"I have great faith in Vorec, especially given his many years of service even before my reign, and I see no reason to remove him from that position," King Theol said. "He admitted that there was a misunderstanding between the two of you. And given how high the tensions have run, it is little wonder, particularly given your nature."
Amelia's muscles tightened at his word choice. "So you don't believe me? You really don't believe that he has insulted and derided me? That he hit me, not once but twice, and he would not let me leave?"
"As I have already admitted, the elder commander can at times be abrasive and somewhat…less than refined," King Theol said. "But his interests have always followed Libysha's. I have never known a more faithful soldier or elder commander."
"He tried to entrap me, and he has spread vile rumors about me. Do you understand what will happen if he is in control and I am left with him?" Amelia clenched her fists all the tighter. "Didn't you talk to the Machat?"
"I have spoken with them." King Theol's tone sharpened as he set the goblet down firmly. "But I do not need prophets to tell me about men I have known my entire life. I know far more of Vorec than you, and while he is not without fault, he is not the type to harass a woman in such a manner without reason. And it is possible that the curse has made you…perhaps it makes you see things differently."
There was no point to this discussion. The sinking pit within Amelia's stomach warned her that the king would never really distrust Vorec. Not after all they had been through. "He will want to torture the former Paras."
"Unless some manner can be found to more effectively restrain them, I have forbidden such interactions. Things will be better when we return. He will make a formal apology for the misunderstanding."
"And I for beating him?" Amelia asked.
King Theol smiled faintly. "Given your nature, it was understandable. And you are the princess. There are some advantages to such a position."
The tightness in Amelia's shoulders and neck intensified until it ached all through her spine.
"By the time we return, you'll also have had the opportunity to prove your loyalty to Libysha. That will be the first step toward healing between you and the people." King Theol said this as if it was quite simple and not at all offensive.
Amelia measured her breaths. She paced back toward the window. "I understand. Am I restricted to my room? Or will I have access to the labyrinth like before?"
"Do you not like your old room?" Queen Alita asked. She came around the elegantly carved maple table to stand beside her. "We could have something else prepared for you."
"My old room is fine. I just want to know where I'm allowed to go."
"You may go anywhere in the palace," King Theol said with a broad sweep of his arm. "Except the dungeons and the training areas. Anywhere else is available for your pleasure so long as you remain on the palace grounds. No one is to harm you in our absence."
Amelia nodded. Anger made it hard to sort through the words, but she knew that true expression would only lead her into greater trouble. "Thank you for that," she said. "Is there anything else?"
"Not for now," King Theol said.
"Then if it's all right with you, I'd like to go back to my room."
Queen Alita lifted her hand, her words a little more rushed but gracious. "You are welcome to have dinner with us in private."
"I appreciate the offer, but it's probably for the best if I go back to my room and get some rest." Amelia picked up the satchel and books. The cold bead wavered in her mind, threatening to expand. All of the old angry feelings were returning with reinforcements. She had been far more forgiving of this when she was a child. All those years she had spent longing to come home and prove herself, but this was not her home at all. She forced a tight smile. "Thank you for everything."
Amelia returned to her bedroom, scarcely able to restrain her rage. As soon as she was alone, she locked the door, closed the curtains, and resumed her old workout routines. Push-ups, knee-highs, burpees, squats, kicking drills, punching drills, hand stands, deep stretches. She let her mind fade from the present and focused all her energy on the simple reps. Sweat soaked through the gown and dripped off her forehead and neck. But she didn't stop until she collapsed on the rug, and even then the anger and pain remained. Isolation and rejection, old companions that here loomed larger than sight.
Some part of her understood what the king and queen were doing. How they saw it. How everyone saw it. That wretched part of her tried to steal the venom of Vorec's actions and the fact that the king and queen had not believed her. All of it was a misunderstanding. Part of her nature. The words rolled back through her mind with infuriating clarity. To add insult to injury, the split heart sent her rolling on the carpet, clasping at her chest in agony and adding to the cacophony of her mind.
Even stripping the gown off and taking a soothing bath did nothing to clear Amelia's mind. When the attendant came to offer her food, she accepted it but found she couldn't touch the porcelain bowls of soup, curried potatoes, greens, and custard. Her stomach churned, and all the while that cold bead remained ever present in her mind, trembling on the edge of expansion.
Amelia tried to distract herself by reading. The books she had brought with her were the only ones in the room without large children's drawings and watercolors. But perhaps the children's books would have been better suited in her current state. The words of the Neyeb book glazed within her mind, and when at last she fell asleep, the strange dream woman returned and mocked her.
15
Bad News
Amelia awoke to a sharp rapping at the door, one of the dusty books on her chest and her body aching from her awkward position. "Yes," she answered blearily.
"The king and queen will be departing within the hour," the voice on the other side said.
Groaning, Amelia sat up. "Thank you." She slipped a bit of ribbon into the book and stood. After yesterday's conversation, she didn't particularly want to see King Theol and Queen Alita again. Further reminders of her "nature" were among the last things she needed.
As she rose, she glimpsed herself in the mirror. She shook her head, almost amused. She looked about as much like a princess as the wolves in the Temple of Selgooko. Sleep crusted her eyes, and her hair was a tangled mass. The sleeveless sleep shift she wore left most of the severe scars exposed, twisted black and red patches of flesh that looked like dried magma. She cupped her hand beneath her elbow, shrinking from the sight and yet unable to stop staring. There was something
about these. Unlike the scars from animal bites, these looked horrific. More like something coiled and venomous unwrapped within her and threatened to burst through. A representation of the monster inside perhaps. Evidence of the vicious nature of the blood child, the horror her people feared.
Her mind slipped to Naatos. He didn't think she was a monster. He insisted precisely the opposite. But he didn't know about the cold. At least that sensation had mostly passed. It strengthened, yet its very nature roused caution and unease within her spirit. Perhaps the Libyshans were right to fear her.
Amelia moved from the bed and dressed as carefully as she could. She chose a soft green gown with angel sleeves and contrasting sash the color of corn silk. Her hair she brushed but left down since she only had a couple O bands and no bobby pins. The eyeliner in her satchel was a welcome tradition to return to. As she prepared to leave, she knocked the booklet from yesterday's dress. She scooped it up into her pocket, scarcely thinking about it.
And then it was time. Once again there was no one in the halls. Not even the Ayamin guards who had once stood at attention outside her bedroom. The emptiness made Amelia's heart ache though she wasn't entirely sure why. By this point, she should have been used to being alone. Or perhaps it was the utter disdain and dislike the people held for her which made this so horrible.
Once she reached the courtyard, she realized just how painful it was to be generally despised. The people parted as soon as they saw her, giving her great space and cold looks. Everyone stared, some hiding their angered curiosity but most glaring and muttering. King Theol and Queen Alita waited for her beside the gate with all their attendants. They acted as if everything was fine, embracing her and kissing her cheeks, reassuring her all would be well. But that was only a partial truth. Amelia noted that Josiah had already been sent ahead. King Theol tried to offer an explanation, but Amelia barely listened. She simply plastered a smile on her face, told them she appreciated their kindness, and waved as they mounted their fine steeds and set off among a troop of bruins, grey mawnores, attendants, and Ayamin.
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