I stared at him. He was seriously not doing this. “Sure, why not, but I promise you that nothing you are going to show me, will make me feel better about myself. I deserve it.”
“Got that.”
I gave him my hand. It so didn’t feel right.
“I’ve treated her like shit since the day she set foot in this place. I was the reason so many people in her life died. Brian, Lucian, Cara, all my fault.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I do, and how did I repay her for claiming me? I made her life a living hell.”
“You are a stubborn dragon. It’s understandable.”
“Vicious and mean I would agree to, but you used stubborn. Why?”
“Because you are. You see one thing when you should see another. Not being open-minded is the biggest curse a creature can have.”
“Open-minded you say?”
“Soak up possibilities, Blake,” he said. “But I sense much more trouble in your life.”
I took my hand out of his. “I told you the reason I’m here. I don’t care about my own problems, they don’t matter anymore. I’ve got someone else to worry about for a change. A purpose to live for, a chance to be happy. Can you help me with that, yes or no?”
“Straight to the point, I see.” He cleared his throat. “If she comes to her appointments each and every day, then I can’t see why not, but I can’t make her forgive you. I can show her truth, but I can’t make her love you. I’m not a dating site. That is up to you.”
I laughed softly.
“I never asked you to do any of those things.”
“But I can help you to make her take that first step. If that is what you would like.”
“Will she hate me?”
“Doesn’t she already?”
“True.”
“One can only dislike a person. They don’t really hate someone Blake.”
“I beg to differ. And no, I don’t want to share on that.”
“Suit yourself.”
“I would like to help in any way I can, to get over this anger phase towards me, I really just want her to be okay.”
“I can sense that. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Hah, you do have sense of humor.”
Leo laughed at my comment. “Wrong choice of words. Sorry.”
I laughed again.
“Thanks, Leo. I owe you big.”
“I said try, Blake. I didn’t promise it would work. And when the time comes, not tomorrow, you need to be able to uphold your word. Do your part.”
I frowned at him. What did he mean by that? I shook my head and took a deep breath. For someone that pretended he knew Dents, he really didn’t have any clue whatsoever.
HE NIGHT SEEKER’S appointments helped in so many ways. I’d been seeing him for almost a week and a half now. He knew more or less all the things that I’d gone through, especially that night in the forest. That was the hardest part to talk about, but I had to. I had to get over what had happened to me that night.
He showed me what I needed to see. I had to admit, it didn’t make me feel better at first, but he left me with something that I couldn’t stop thinking about. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. It was the darkness that had consumed those people, as being good was just too difficult a choice for them, and they started to become dark too as it was constantly around them every second of every day. It was hard to find the light in such a dark, dark place.
He didn’t ask me where I was like all the others.
He never forced anything else out of me but one thing that he seemed to not be able to help me with was how angry I still was with Blake. Even if he showed me that he wasn’t to blame. I still saw his face every time I thought about Billy and his betrayal that night. I still saw him not finding me, helping me when I needed it the most. I would push forgiving him to the back of my mind and even out of my head as I couldn’t afford to go through the disappointment of being let down by him again. I went through that once and it’d broken my heart.
There was no place for me to trust Blake and I knew that once this mission was over, I would break ties with him forever. I didn’t need a dragon. To be honest, I didn’t want a dragon, and I sure as hell didn’t want it to be Blake Leaf if that ever changed.
I knocked on Constance’s door.
She looked up and smiled. “He is in the office, but I think he has something up his sleeve, Elena,” she joked.
“Up his sleeve, I wonder what it could be?” I giggled and I walked past her and knocked on the door.
“Enter,” he said and I found him sitting like usual on his chair. It must be so boring, I asked him once why he just sat there, and he told me that he wasn’t. He was doing all sorts of things normal people do, running, riding his bike. Riding his bike was one of my favorite sayings coming from him. It was just in a way that none of us could comprehend. I guessed a mind could be that powerful.
He got up. “We’re not staying?” He’d never gotten up before.
“Nope,” he said. “I need a bit of fresh air and we need to work on that anger phase of yours,” he said and moved his hand in a circular motion in my direction.
“I thought that is what we were doing.”
“Really work on it, Elena,” he said again. “Mind if I hook in?”
I gave him my elbow and he took it.
“Please don’t see this as payback for making you relive all those dark days in your life. If you see something in my way, let me know. I’m as blind as a bat.”
I giggled. He had a great sense of humor.
“I promise you, I won’t.”
“Where to?” I asked.
“Please take me to the Parthenon dome.”
“You have an urgency to fight?”
He chuckled. “Nope, I told you today we are going to work on that anger of yours.”
“Oh, I see so I’m going to do all the fighting.”
“Smart girl.” He smiled and I led him to the dome wondering how fighting with a weapon was going to help me get over my anger phase.
Sure boxing helped plenty but there wasn’t a bag in the dome, unless he’d put one in there in the past hour and a half.
He kept babbling about how beautiful today was, he wasn’t far off and it was amazing what my mind could conjure that made him able to see that, so clear.
I just giggled every time he made a joke. Especially when he pointed out a dragon that was going to leave a dropping from the sky.
It was hilarious. Yet, there was no dragon, but to pretend like that, made me feel like a kid again. I missed Herbert terribly.
He’d helped me with that too. Never being able to tell him how sorry I was for all those times I put up a fight when he wanted me to leave with him. What he showed me was letting me off the hook. It was simple. How the hell was I supposed to know that I was running away from dragons? I was just a kid.
If only that could sink in.
We reached the Parthenon Dome and we entered.
I made sure that he didn’t trip or that his cane didn’t hook on part of the door when in the corner of my eye, I saw a figure.
I looked up and found Blake, waiting.
“Ahhh, I told you to hide until the time was right,” Leo joked again in Blake’s direction. I didn’t laugh this time. I felt so stupid being tricked by a blind vampire.
“This is what you meant by working on my anger.”
“Elena, you need to be open-minded.”
“With him? Never.” I didn’t even look in Blake’s direction. He was nothing to me, he was lower than nothing.
“You will never be free if you don’t learn how to forgive.”
“I trusted you Leo. This is the worst kind of betrayal anyone could ever give me.”
He held out his hand for mine.
“Don’t.” I slapped it away. “I don’t need to see you anymore.”
“Elena, wait!” Blake yelled. “Don’t do this, please,” he begged. It
was something he’d only done twice. That night when he’d asked me to kill him and that day in the cafeteria he wanted me to free him.
“Don’t tell me what to do. You have no say in anything I do.”
His face didn’t show any emotion.
“I know, but you need Leo. He didn’t betray you, okay? He is trying to help you.”
I huffed and a small sarcastic smile played on my lips. My eyes found Leo’s figure again. “I thought what was said to a Seeker, stayed with a Seeker.”
“I never spoke about our sessions, Elena.”
I nodded. “Then what is this, Leo? What is he doing here?”
“You need to make peace with your dragon, Elena.”
“He’s not my dragon!”
“Still here,” Blake said but I ignored him.
I started to laugh sarcastically. “Oh, I see what this is. You want me to yell and scream at him. Get all my frustration off my chest, that sort of thing.”
Leo’s body posture dropped. I’d hit it right on the head.
“Then what Leo, I have to forgive him for all the crap he put me through? For not being there for me when I actually needed him? What do you think will happen?”
“You are a smart girl, Elena.”
“Yeah, well, you forgot something. I have to care a little bit to actually start a fight, and I don’t. So see this as time up. I’ll see if I’m in the mood to come to our session tomorrow.”
I turned around and walked out the door. How dare he, how dare both of them? I will never forgive Blake Leaf for everything he has ever done, never.
“THAT WAS A waste of effort.” I sounded mad and a frustrated grunt left my mouth. She doesn’t care. That door had closed. It was too late and I was never going to get one more chance with her. A chance to show her that I was different, that she made me different.
She took all the dark away that day, and because of my fucked up past, I would never be able to show her that. She would never know what it was she’d done for me.
Leo’s hand touched my shoulder.
“She isn’t as smart as she thinks she is, Blake.”
I looked at him, even though I knew he couldn’t sense it.
“You don’t trust me?” He joked again.
“I know you are blind so you couldn’t have seen any of that, but you must’ve heard what she said.”
“She is pissed off.” He smiled as he found his way to the bleachers and sat down.
“Pissed off, that is what you think that was? That was beyond pissed off.”
“If she wasn’t, well then I would’ve told you there was no hope.”
I get what he was saying. She’d lied when she said she had to care about someone to actually fight with them.
“The second she found you here, was the second I knew whether there was a future for you with her.”
I looked at him again. “And?”
He just smiled. “Leo, don’t play games with me, please. Tell me.”
“I’m not the Viden, Blake. I know people. And based upon what just happened here, there is still a chance. It’s what you are going to do that will determine if you are going to mess it up, like you always do. Or if you are going to succeed.”
“I don’t mess things up.”
“That’s not what I got from you Blake.”
“Stop analyzing me. I don’t mess up.”
“Then tell me, when she asked why you weren’t there. Why didn’t you correct her?”
I bit the inside of my mouth.
“I thought you wanted opportunities for her to forgive you, Blake. Yet you don’t take them.”
“She will never believe me, Leo.”
“You don’t know because you’ve never tried.”
“I know her.”
“I see, let me guess, it’s a Dent thing.”
“It’s a Dent thing.”
“People change Blake,” was all he said.
“What does that mean?”
“You will figure it out.” He smiled. “You want to know how you will get her on your side.”
“How?”
“Cara.” He pushed himself up and moved with his cane toward the door.
“Cara is dead.”
“You’ll get it.” He chuckled and left.
What the hell did he mean by any of those things? Did he know what a Dent was, know the procedure?
People change.
I had thought about that for a while. People changed.
She’d gone through so much since the day she first found Paegeia. She’d lost four people she cared about. People changed.
Then it hit me. I had no clue who this Elena was at all, just like she had no idea who I was.
I BARGED THROUGH my bedroom door and Becky flinched. George was sitting with her on the couch.
“What happened?” Becky asked in a soft but worried tone.
I looked at George and took a few breaths.
“I think that is my cue to leave.” He bent over as he got up from the couch and kissed Becky on her lips and passed me. “Bye Elena.”
“Bye.” I felt bad that he always got up and left whenever I had to rant and rave about his best friend, once removed, and now back on.
“Let me guess.” Becky didn’t sound pleased. “It’s Blake related?”
“No,”
“That’s a first.”
I ignored her comment. “It’s Leo betraying me, related.”
“Leo?” she asked with a new tone in her voice. “What did he do, Elena?”
“It follows into a Blake related thing.”
She sighed. “What happened?” She tapped on the couch and I went over and sat down.
I just stared out in front of me and then stroked my face real hard and let out a growl, sort of.
“Leo wanted us to talk, make peace. I can’t.”
She rolled her eyes and sighed real loud. “Just try.”
I squinted. “Excuse me, am I the only one that remembers the hell that asshole put me through? What, explain it to me Becky, what did he do that made you forgive him just like that?” I snapped my fingers.
Her jaw muscles pumped slightly but no answer came from her mouth. “You don’t have to say anything. You know there is absolutely nothing, and then you think I’m gullible.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“He never cared for me, Becky. If he did he would’ve found me and brought me back, where I felt safe.” Tears lingered in my eyes.
She just looked at me, not saying anything, but worry laced her eyes. “You have no idea how it feels to see the guy that was the only one keeping you safe from his psychotic son, get killed in front of your eyes just because his son wanted me. When he died, I was hunted down like some animal.”
Her head snapped back at me. Tears started to well up.
“I tried to fight them off, but…” I shook my head. “Without my abilities, I could only do so much.”
I sniffed. “There was this one guy that I thought was on my side, he helped me to get away, but he was never on my side and took me to him. He betrayed me, and every time I look at Blake, I see him.” I shook my head again. Why I was telling her this, I didn’t know. But I needed her to stop fighting on Blake’s side and just see my point for once.
“You have no idea how it feels when six guys hold you down on the ground, taking their turn like you’re a feast…”
A tear rolled over her cheek.
“I had the worst dragon out there, that could’ve killed them if he’d just tried. He …” I shook my head, holding back my tears. Why I was even so emotional about this still was beyond me. I wiped away my tears.
“Elena.”
“No, don’t. I can’t forgive him and I thought that at least you would’ve understood that. But I guess Twilight Zone Blake has won you over too.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Whatever.” I got up and grabbed my jacket and left the room. I didn’t care what the idiot said while I was away. Actions spok
e louder than words, and ever since I came back, he’d done nothing, absolutely nothing to make me think otherwise. He was still the same arrogant ass he always was, and would never ever change.
I FOUND GEORGE in my room playing PlayStation. “Where is Becky?”
“Elena came back from her session with Leo, something really upset her.”
“Yeah, I know. It was me, sorry.”
He chuckled but didn’t say anything.
I sat next to him and grabbed the other remote. Ever since I’d Dented, George had taken Lucian’s place and we had been roommates for almost five months now.
“Blake, you think she’s going to be okay?”
“I have to think that, I can’t give up,” I said as I let out a huge breath.
Just then an urgent knock came on the door and George got up. It was Becky. She was crying and flung herself into George’s arms.
“Shhhh, what happened?” he asked against her head and George gave me the eye. He was blaming me, as I’d put Elena in that mood and she’d taken it out on Becky. Still, Becky wasn’t the crying kind of girl, and that made me worry.
“Becky,” I asked. “Is Elena okay?”
She looked at me, sniffed and wiped her eyes. “No, she’s never going to forgive you Blake.”
“C’mon, don’t say that. She just needs time.”
“No, she doesn’t. She told me…” She took a deep breath.
“She told you what happened?” Both George and I just looked at her while she nodded her head and tried real hard to push back her tears. George hugged her tight.
“Becky what did she say?”
“I can’t Blake. It feels as if I’m betraying her every time I just listen, begging her to try and make peace with you. Let’s just say I understand why she doesn’t want to. If that was me, thinking that my dragon had tried nothing to save me, I would feel like that too. You should’ve told her.”
“Becky, she is never going to believe me, and you said it yourself, she thinks that you guys are on my side. She will never believe you now.”
“Then this is going to carry on for a very, very long time Blake. She might never forgive you.”
She was ready to turn around and leave.
“Becky please, just tell me what she said.”
Moonbreeze (The Dragonian Series Book 4) Page 32
