by Shey Stahl
The following day Jameson and I were supposed to do an interview with Maggie Summers from SPEED. Alas, there I was hiding in our master closet from Dana.
While organizing my shoes by color out of pure boredom, I heard Jameson enter the room and open the door, smirking.
“Why are you on the floor? Get up.” He reached for me. “The reporter will be here soon.”
I put my fingertips to his lips and “shh’d” him and then mouthed the word, “Dana.”
Didn’t need to say much else.
“Who let her in?” he seethed in a flat but timid voice.
He was still scared of Dana, his peppy stalker fan, and for good reason. The woman had some stagger issues for sure.
“Emma.”
“I’ll fucking kill her.” He went to stand but I pulled him back down with me.
“If Dana see’s you...she won’t leave.”
His chin jerked up as he thought for a moment. “Good point...I know where Emma lives. I can pay her back later.”
Emma and Aiden recently purchased a house together in Mooresville next to the one Jameson had built for us. Jameson was not happy about that by the way. This is also why we planned to live in the Summit Lake house this year instead of the one in Mooresville. Sure Jameson was going to spend the majority of the year on the road, but once Axel was a couple months old we planned on traveling with him.
After much discussion following Axel’s birth, we decided I would step down as general manager at the track for now and concentrate on being a family. Jameson hired Andrea to take over which turned out to be a better idea. She was better at the planning than I was.
“How long has she been down there?” Jameson groaned throwing one of his shoes at the wall.
“Ten minutes, maybe.” I leaned back against the wall, pulling one of my black heels from under my ass.
He looked around the closet. “Where’s the baby?”
I held up the monitor. “In his room with Lane,”
We could hear movement on the monitor so I turned it up and listened.
“There, there, baby Axel. I take care you.” Then Lane started humming softly to him. “Me not allowed to pick you up so I just rock you.” Lane let out a little giggle. “You sure are cute.”
Both Jameson and I smiled listening to Lane pacify Axel who had started his little whimpering. He reminded me of a little puppy with the whimpering.
“How the fuck are we going to get out of here?” Jameson finally asked after thirty minutes in the closet together.
“I’ll go check to see if she’s gone yet.”
I army crawled out of the closet and peeked over the stairwell to see Dana closing the door behind her.
Thank god.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could contain Jameson in the closet without resorting to sex, which wasn’t an option. It had only been a week and I had no fucking clue how in the hell the two of us would make it five more weeks without sex.
It was easier when I was on bed rest because he was gone for the majority of it, but now, he was home and constantly giving me these looks. The ones that had me wanting more than just reciprocating motions.
Testing for the upcoming NASCAR season would be starting up again after the new year so that would distract us but it was going to be interesting.
Spencer and Aiden already placed bets on who’d crack first. Assholes. I only say that because their bets were against me.
Maggie showed up shortly after Dana left and we did the interview along with a shit load of pictures for their magazine spread. Jameson and I both hated being in the spot light but it came with a championship for him.
“Would it be possible to get some of you with the baby?” Maggie asked once the interview was completed.
“No.” Jameson said in a hard, tight voice. “No pictures will be taken of Axel.” I looked at him quickly and saw that his expression had turned violent.
“Why?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer at first, just scowled. Maggie was on her way out before he finally murmured, “I don’t want him exposed to all this just yet. The time will come when he can’t escape it but for now...I want him to just be ours.”
I understood him completely. Axel was innocent, and he was ours. The public hadn’t seen him yet and when they did, everyone would want pictures of him.
On New Year’s Eve, we all gathered at Charlie and Andrea’s house.
Jimi and Nancy were still in town so once again, just like Christmas, all of us were together under one roof.
“Where’s Charlie?” I asked Andrea when I walked into the kitchen. I’d just gave our sleeping little boy to Alley to hold while the boys played some retarded drinking game I was sure would end in a fight once again.
Andrea gave me an apprehensive glance.
“Sleeping,” she said softly while chopping the lettuce for the salad.
“Is he all right?”
I watched silently as she started to speak and then stopped placing both hands on the counter.
“He called me Rachel last night when he woke up and now he’s confusing the twins together...I feel him slipping away Sway and I just can’t stop it. I’ve heard the doctors and I’ve seen all the scans. I know we don’t have long but to think of it happening now...scares the shit out of me,” she leaned forward, her eyes darting around the room. “I can’t handle those boys by myself.”
“Don’t look at me for advice.” I told her holding my hands up. “I mistook my kid for a cat and tried to breastfeed him.”
Andrea laughed as Nancy walked into the kitchen.
Nancy reached over and rubbed my back as she walked past me. “Van says to tell you that he’s on his way, he got stuck in traffic.”
I laughed reaching for the mushrooms to cut them.
It was as though Van had become my other child—even though he was older than me. I was constantly worried about him. All this worrying led to one thing. I insisted he move in with us in the guest apartment above our garage.
With the help of Jameson, he did. Since his wife and little girl had died, Van hadn’t been around much of anyone. When I first met him, he was withdrawn but sweet. But ever since Axel was born, Van had become more open and welcoming with us all. He had no one but his parents and in-laws and now he had us.
The more time he spent around Jameson, Spencer and Aiden though, the more he resembled a Riley.
All of that aside, when it came to our safety, Van was all business, particularly when it came to Axel now. Anywhere we went these days, Van was with us with his eyes fixated on me and the baby.
Charlie was up around seven and smoking pot in the back yard when the Lucifer twins tried to go out there with him. Andrea had to explain that he was taking his medicine and they should not be around him.
Lucas threw a complete fit that resembled that child out of the movie Problem Child. The only difference being Lucas had brown hair, not red.
“I just want to go out there with Charlie!” Lucas screamed.
This went on for a good hour, the Lucifer twins throwing fits over everything. Lane watched in amusement and when Axel finally woke up from his catnap, he too gazed at them.
At least that’s what I thought. The kid couldn’t see more than a foot in front of himself though so he was probably staring at Jameson and me wondering what in the hell went wrong when he was assigned his parental units.
Thoughts of finding him a therapist resurfaced. I’d need to get on that sooner rather later.
Van finally showed up and joined the drinking game the boys were playing. I couldn’t figure out exactly what they were playing but I also never took the time to. I spent most of my time feeding Axel and handing him around to everyone.
I wondered if they ever got motion sickness from all the handling. I know if someone passed me around like that I’d be hurling all over them. But I wouldn’t mind being all swaddled and warm like he was. I wouldn’t mind being rocked to sleep either, that did look appealing to me.
After a few hours of all this madness, we decided to stay here tonight with the roads being icy and Jameson was drunk to the point he was now slurring his words.
“Three...two...one...Happy New Year!” we all yelled together as we welcomed the New Year.
Jameson turned to me, smiling, and pulled me hard against his chest. “Happy New Year wife,” His voice was low and gravelling and I was shaking. It was hard to believe that just his voice could set my body on fire, but it did, or was it the lack of sex that had something to do with it.
“Let’s go to bed...” he suggested and began kissing down the side of my neck, pulling my sweater away, nipping at my skin.
“We can go to bed...but you need to keep your hands to yourself mister.” I poked his chest.
His hand came up to rub the spot I poked, still smirking. “We can do other stuff...we’re good at other stuff.”
He had a very good point there. If anything, the two of us had other stuff down to a fine art.
“You mean like reciprocating motion?” I asked with a giggle.
He growled pushing me against the wall in the hallway. “Fuck honey...don’t tease me.”
Once inside my old room, we were settled on the bed in a very heated over the clothes make-out session with reciprocating motion and a little with a little porting of the heads but to be fair, the clothes were disappearing quickly. His hands were so sure, so strong, and so completely inescapable as he moved against me.
“Whaa...Whaa...Whaa!”
Great timing kid!
Jameson sighed. His head fell forward against my collarbone but his hips continued to move against mine wanting more but so did Axel and let out another cry.
“Seriously?” he grunted, still moving.
“Get used to it daddy.” Pushing against his shoulders, I flashed him a smile that resembled Bob Barker off that Price is Right show. “We’re parents now.”
Jameson just laughed and laid back against the headboard, adjusting himself.
I retrieved Axel from the bassinette and when I picked him up, he made his signature puppy whimpering and snuggled closer to me. Laying him on the bed, I prepped myself for breastfeeding.
“I can’t look at those,” Jameson looked away. “I’ll get distracted again.”
I giggled while Axel whimpered again and started rooting his head around, searching for his foodbags. When I got him situated, he went right to town.
“Wow, he was hungry.” Jameson’s eyes got wide as he watched our son eat.
I laughed. “He’s always like this when I feed him. He acts as though I’ll never feed him again.” My eyes met Jameson’s when his hand was still on my ass, caressing it. “Kind of like someone else I know.”
“Point taken,” He grumbled and waited for me to finish feeding our son.
Although once the feeding, burping, changing and rocking was finished...the other things were dealt with. Many times.
As I said before, everything had changed.
In 365 days, 52 weeks, 8,765 hours, or 525,948 minutes my life had change completely.
Then it starts all over on New Year’s Day and who knows what this next year will bring.
4. Rebound – Jameson
Rebound – In shock absorbers, a rebound adjustment is a change to the dampening of the shock on the expansion stroke. Without rebound dampening, the car would want to bounce as it passed over bumps on the track. Rebound adjustments can also affect how the weight of the car shifts around during braking, acceleration and cornering.
“I know you don’t want to leave us but it’s your job.” Sway told me as we stood in Axel’s bedroom discussing my schedule for the next few weeks. “I understand.” Her hand came up, brushing my hair away from my forehead. January had flown by with testing and racing was now starting again.
“I know...it’s just hard now. I want you guys with me.”
This last month since Axel was born, I had spent every minute I could with the two of them, enjoying the chance to finally be a family—even if it was only for a month—I’d take it. I’d take any moment I was given.
“We will be in Las Vegas with you,” she offered.
“It’s just not the same. Last year you were there at Daytona.” I shrugged looking down at my feet. “I just...wanted you there, as my wife. It’s retarded I know—”
Her finger silenced me. “It’s not retarded, Jameson. I know exactly what you mean.”
I almost forgot how well she actually knew me.
We both turned to look down at Axel when he whimpered. Sway had him buckled in his car seat.
“What’s on him?” she asked examining his hair.
Kneeling down, I took a closer look. “I’m not sure...it looks like...you have to be fucking kidding me...LOGAN!” I yelled after him.
Lane turned to Sway with an arm full of Legos.
“I not do that.” He smiled. “Can I hold him?”
“Sure buddy, just let me get this peanut butter out of his hair.” Sway replied while I ran after Logan.
I found him hiding in our pantry, snickering to himself as he ate peanut butter with a spoon. I grabbed his scrawny arm and pulled him out, sitting him on the counter so I could look him in the eye.
“Listen to me.” I growled. “Stop acting like an asshole.”
He held out his hand.
“I don’t think so. I only give money out to kids I don’t want to corrupt. You start resembling a normal child and maybe I’ll watch my mouth around you.”
“He wanted peanut butter.” Logan replied trying to defend his actions.
“He can’t even talk. What would make you think he wanted peanut butter?”
Logan shrugged carelessly. “He whimpered.”
“He always whimpers.”
“Sorry.” He finally said and reached for the peanut butter.
I snatched it before he could take it again—trying to restrain myself from laughing at his expression of scared shitless. “No, no, you’re done with the peanut butter.”
This babysitting shit was hard work. How our family thought we could handle a newborn baby, the Lucifer twins and Lane all at once, was bullshit.
Lane was okay...the twins were not. They were hardly classified as normal children.
It was the day before I had to leave to Daytona for Speedweek and the last thing I wanted to be doing was babysitting these shits today but Andrea had to take Charlie up to Seattle for a doctor’s appointment and Alley and Spencer were at the doctor as well getting an ultrasound.
Logan had long since passed out next to me but Lucas was another story. It was now close to nine o’clock and I thought for sure he’d be asleep by now but no such luck.
I’m almost certain he had this plan that if he annoyed me long enough I would have I eventually caved and given him chocolate so he would have left the room. You’d think at some point logic should have set in and I would have recognized a pattern but no, I chose to ignore it. Ignorance is bliss at times.
“Is everything okay?” Sway asked carrying Axel into the family room, amused I’m sure.
I shot Lucas a warning glare.
“Yes, everything is fine,” I told her, feeling as though I had finally gotten the situation under control, and not wanting to miss any more of the Deadliest Catch.
The minute she walked in the kitchen, Lucas started whining again that the tape was hurting his arm. I hadn’t had much experience with sugar-mania before, but was intuitive enough to know things were not going well.
I was blissfully engrossed in my show while simultaneously contemplating a career choice into the crab fisherman shit and pretending Lucas wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary besides jumping on the couch and looking for some sort of attention. I ignored him. He wasn’t going to get attention from me. I was trying to watch a goddamn show and not think about Speedweek fast approaching.
Then he jumped off the couch, untied himself, and tossed the remotes directly at me. One hit me in the forehead, and the other hi
t the wall behind me, knocking over a glass on the end table.
Once I got hit in the face, I lost my composure.
“I warned you once.” I told him carrying him kicking and screaming up the stairs. I set him on the bed where they were going to be sleeping in. “Now...go to sleep.”
“I’m not tired.” He countered and sprung to his feet.
“Well I suggest you get tired.” I closed the door behind me praying that Axel never acted like them. If he did, I would be sending the little asshole to boarding school as soon as permitted.
When I finally made it to bed that night, Sway was fast asleep with Axel. He was snuggled up against her chest in our bed, nuzzling his foodbags. I couldn’t blame him. I wished I was doing the same.
Mentally I was preparing myself for racing again but emotionally I wanted to be here, with my family. This off-season had brought with it another reason for me wanting to be home with my family. Axel.
I laid there awake, watching my son and wife sleep remembering these last few weeks with them. Between testing and being pulled in every direction possible by my sponsor, I was still able to find time here and there to be with Sway and him.
I couldn’t tell you how attached I was to them now. Not a minute went by that they weren’t both in the back of my mind.
As careful as I could, I wrapped both arms around them and was asleep before I knew it.
There was the most annoying sound in the world infiltrating my sleep and it wasn’t stopping.
I opened my eyes and blinked steadily into the darkness of the motor coach only to see my phone was blinking on the nightstand.
Back to reality.
Once I arrived in Daytona, I was in race form once again. Though I missed my family, I loved racing and there was no denying that when I was at the track. It was in my blood and would be forever.
What I didn’t love was the newfound fascination everyone had with my personal life and me.
It seemed everywhere I turned people were asking how my married life was, or how my son was. I wouldn’t mind telling them but I also knew my words were never my words. Everything I said these days was misconstrued into something else entirely. So I kept my mouth shut.
