Order vs. Chaos

by Mary E Thompson

  “Oh,” she whispered.

  “Oh. Yeah, oh. You obviously don’t trust me. I’m not sure how I can change that because I know it has nothing to do with me. I’m not him, Kiana. I’m not ever going to treat you like he did. I’m sorry I left last night. I don’t do overnights. No matter what. But I wanted to stay.”

  “Mm hm,” she said, hurt flashing in her eyes.

  She didn’t get it. I sighed. Fuck. How did I get her to understand what was going on without telling her that I would hurt her if I stayed overnight with her at her place.

  And her brother would hurt me if she stayed at my place.

  “Don’t be that way,” I tried gently.

  Obviously that was the wrong thing to say. “Really? You think I’m being ridiculous. You’re the one who fucked me and ran out, and I’m the one being crazy. Not to mention you didn’t even show up today until lunchtime.”

  “You have a problem with what time I come to work?”

  She shook her head. “No, of course not. You’re free to do whatever you want. And whoever you want, apparently.”

  I glared at her. Shit, that pissed me off. I was no saint, but I wasn’t a cheater either. Or willing to balance more than one woman at a time.

  “Well, I wanted you, but I guess that’s not how you feel. If you’re already walking away—”

  “I’m not the one who walked away! You are! You couldn’t wait to get home. So you could ‘talk’ to my brother? And you expect me to believe that?”

  I laughed mirthlessly. “You really think I’m going to lie to you and then bring your brother into it? If I was screwing someone else, I would never use Kapena as a cover.”

  “Sure you would. Because you know I’d never ask him about it.”

  “You’re really something else, you know that? You’re the one who won’t tell everyone we’re dating. You’re the one who didn’t want to go out with me. And now you’re blaming me for not wanting to hurt you when I stayed the night. Because you’d rather I try to choke you than I just fucking leave!”

  “What?” she gasped, her eyes going wide.

  Fuck me.

  The realization of what I’d admitted slammed me in the chest, knocking the wind out of me. I took a step back, my head spinning. I unlocked the door and left, going to my own office. I dropped into my seat, barely registering anything.

  I didn’t think it would hurt that much. To see the look in her eyes. The fear. The distrust.

  I couldn’t sit there. I needed to get out. Touches of her were all over my office. From the pictures on the wall to the office supplies in the desk. Hell, it even smelled like her. I stood, ready to run out the door, when she walked into my office.

  I backed up, needing to be away from her. She closed the door and locked it. I gulped for air, but my throat felt as tight as my chest was. I couldn’t breathe with her staring at me like she was.

  “Sit down, Sawyer,” she commanded.

  I sat.

  She walked over to me, standing right in front of me. She was wearing a short black skirt, one that ended above her knees. Her ocean blue shirt was buttoned up above her cleavage but gaped at the top to reveal a simple heart necklace. I gripped the armrests of my chair to keep myself from reaching for her.

  She dropped my phone on my desk, then leaned forward. Dammit. I tried not to look down her shirt, but she was at the perfect angle, and I couldn’t help it.

  “Look at me, Sawyer.”

  I met her eyes.

  She shook her head. “Not there. Look at my breasts.”

  I gulped and glanced down, then looked right back up into her eyes.

  “I know you want to touch them. I want you to touch them.”

  I shook my head, my pants growing as tight as the rest of me.

  She snatched my hands and brought them to her breasts. She used her hands to massage her breasts with mine. When she moaned, I couldn’t stop myself. I rubbed my thumbs over her hard nipples, loving the feel of her in my hands again.

  “Kiana,” I groaned.

  “Touch me, Sawyer. Show me what you want to do to me.”

  “Here?”

  “Yes, here. I want you. I want you to touch me. I need you to know that I trust you. I was a fool for thinking you were like him in any way.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She shook her head, and I knew it was something else Anthony told her. Some other lie she believed.

  “What did he say?”

  She pursed her lips then sighed and smiled at me. “He always ran after sex. Every time. He said someone would figure us out if he stayed there. He never had me to his place. Just mine, so he could leave as soon as possible.”

  “Was he seeing someone else?” I asked, hating that I had her in my arms and she was talking about someone else.

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. After things ended, I kind of assumed he probably was, but I don’t know for sure.”

  “Shit,” I murmured. “I really did go home. I was with your brother.”

  She nodded. “I know. I believe you. As for the other thing? I trust you. I know you’d never hurt me.”

  “I can’t promise that, Kiana. You know the dream you walked in on?”

  She nodded.

  “The last time I spent the night with a woman, I almost attacked her when I had one of those dreams.”

  “Oh, Sawyer.”

  I took a deep breath. I had to tell her everything. “My last relationship was with my boss when I worked for the military. We saw each other between my assignments, always in hotels. After everything with Carrington, she wanted to help me. To be there for me. She arranged it so I could go back to where she lived. Her town. She invited me to her house. We ordered dinner in, and I was exhausted. We… Well, you know.”

  She swallowed audibly and nodded.

  “When I’m someplace unfamiliar, I usually have one of those nightmares. I had one that night, one of the first, but when she tried to wake me up, I didn’t know who she was. Instead of warning her that they were going to shoot her, I thought she was the one who was shooting.”

  “Oh, God,” she whispered.

  I nodded. “Yeah. It was bad. She almost ran out of her own house, in her panties.”

  Kiana stifled a giggle, and I chuckled.

  “If it wasn’t so bad, it would have been funny. But I couldn’t imagine doing the same thing to you.”

  “I trust you, Sawyer.”

  I shook my head. “It has nothing to do with that. I could hurt you.”

  “But you didn’t. Last time was fine.”

  “I don’t trust myself.”

  She crawled into my lap and cupped my jaw. I stared into her eyes, amazed by the strength and affection reflected back at me.

  “I trust you enough for both of us. You’re not going to hurt me, Sawyer.”

  “I’d never forgive myself if I did.”

  “Well, we’re not somewhere that’s unfamiliar now,” she said straddling me.

  “Someone will hear you.” I wasn’t a fucking saint. My hands went to her hips, my cock rising to meet her pussy.

  She shook her head. “I told Jack to clear the office. He took everyone to lunch. On me.”

  “I love that guy.”

  “Me too,” she moaned, standing to unbutton her shirt.

  I pushed her hands aside and slowly worked each button apart, revealing inch by precious inch of her skin. She stood before me, watching as I did it. When her entire shirt was open, I eased it down her arms. Her white bra wasn’t particularly sexy, or designed to be, but it was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. The cotton cups gave me a perfect view of her peaked nipples. I brought her to me, finding my chair the perfect height to drive her fucking insane.

  I captured one nipple in my teeth, the cotton creating a barrier between us. The coconut scent that defined her filled me as I inhaled. I groaned with her, devouring one nipple and working the other with my hand.

  I nipped and kissed my way across her body
, soaking every part of her bra I could. She reached behind herself and freed her delicious tits, giving me the opportunity to get my lips back on her sweet skin.

  With my lips occupied, I dropped one hand to her thigh. She jumped at the contact, but I didn’t stop. I slid my hand up her thigh and found her wet panties. I eased them to the side and plunged a finger deep inside her. Her knees buckled, so I wrapped my other arm around her waist, letting her use my strength to stay upright.

  She moaned and cursed and gasped as I toyed with her. I added a second finger to her, loving the way she spread her legs to accommodate me. Only when she whimpered did I stroke her clit.

  “Sawyer,” she groaned. “Oh, yes.”

  “Don’t hold back, Kiana. If you want this, you need to tell me.”

  “I want this, Sawyer,” she whimpered. “I want you.”

  I pumped my fingers hard and deep, swiping my thumb as fast as I could over her clit. She moaned and rocked her hips, getting closer and closer.

  “Come for me, Kiana. Let me hear you.”

  “Sawyer. God yes! Sawyer!”

  She screamed as she came, drawing my balls tight against me. I needed to come, but it wasn’t about me. It was all about her. And I was determined to prove that to her.

  As soon as she finished one, I thrust my fingers deeper into her, pressing on her g-spot. Her hips bucked, and her breath faltered.

  “Sawyer?”

  “More, Kiana. Now.”

  “Sawyer? Oh, Sawyer. Yes, Sawyer!”

  I won’t lie. Hearing my name like that was fucking amazing. She chanted it over and over until she screamed it, coming all over my hand again. She collapsed, my arm unable to keep her upright. She sank to my lap, pinning my hand between us. I teased her, touching her gently. She gasped and rocked into me, my greedy woman ready for more.

  “Give me one more, Kiana.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think I can.”

  “Yes, you can, baby. Let me have one more.”

  I rubbed her clit, knowing the soft teasing inside and the rough play outside would make her crazy. Within seconds, she was moaning in my ear and clawing at my back.

  “Sawyer,” she screamed. “Yes! Sawyer! Oh, God. I’m coming! Now, Sawyer! Now!”

  “Fuck yeah,” I growled, pumping fast into her. She exploded in my arms, her whole body tightening for a second before she shook my chair so hard I was sure it was going to break. My palm filled with her come, and I swore I was going to die. I was so hard, my entire body fucking hurt.

  When she stopped gasping, she slid off my lap onto her knees in front of me. She reached for my shorts, but I moved out of her reach.

  “Trust has to go both ways for me. I didn’t come in here to get off and leave you locked and loaded with no relief. I know you want to make me feel good, but I had a one-sided relationship with Anthony. It was all about his pleasure and what he wanted. I can’t be in another relationship like that, even if I’m the one reaping all the benefits. I want to touch you. To know I’m good enough to get you off. Unless that’s the real issue. You think I’m not that sexy. That last night was a one time thing.”

  I rolled my chair back to her and dragged her off the floor into my arms. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. I get hard just thinking about you. And I’ve told you before, forget about everything that asshole told you about men. Real men would never leave a woman high and dry. The fact that he only cared about himself makes me sick. I’d love to have you suck my dick, Kiana. But not here. Not now.”

  “Why not? You just gave me three orgasms that shook the walls. Why can’t I give you one?”

  “Because I’m so hard I can’t think straight.”

  “All the better,” she said, sliding to the floor again. She cupped me through my shorts, and I jerked.

  “Fuck, Kiana. I’m not gonna last long.”

  “I don’t care how long you last. I just want to taste you.”

  Fuck me, I loved when a woman wanted that. She wasn’t trying to repay the favor. She was so insane with lust that she had to have me.

  She unzipped my shorts and tugged at them. “Take them off. Now.”

  I stood and dropped my shorts and briefs to the floor. She pushed me back to sit and moved my clothes from under my feet. Her nails dragged up my thighs, spreading them wide. I watched her, nearly groaning in anticipation as she worked her way up my thighs.

  A slow grin curled her lips. “You’re beautiful,” she said to my dick, and I swear the bastard smiled.

  Her nails made my thighs twitch and my cock jump. She leaned forward, swirling her tongue over the tip, and I groaned. Shit, I really wasn’t going to last long.

  Kiana brought my hands to her hair, tying it back from her face and putting my hands on it to hold it back. I wrapped one hand around the strands and brushed the other down her cheek. She nuzzled into me, then went to work on my dick.

  She sucked and licked and nipped at me. My balls tightened, then she eased back. She drove me fucking mad with her skills. Skills I was not going to think about how she acquired.

  My sweaty ass clung to the vinyl seat I was glued to, making it sound like I was farting every time I moved. Oh, fuck. I couldn’t even attempt to care when she took my dick in so far I hit her damn throat.

  “Kiana. Fuck, Kiana,” I groaned.

  I threaded my other hand into her hair, tugging it back so I could watch my cock vanish between those pretty pink lips. My cock looked good next to her chestnut flesh, her bouncing tits a perfect backdrop to the sexy woman sucking hard on my dick.

  “Oh, God.”

  She hummed, sending a jolt straight to my balls. She deep-throated me again, sucking on my cock when I was buried in the back of her throat. I jerked, holy fuck, I jerked. I wasn’t going to last much longer.

  Her nails scraped down my thighs, and there wasn’t any way I could hold back. My hips rose, slamming my dick into her throat. She squeaked, then groaned, and my balls threatened to leave if I didn’t keep going.

  I held her hair back, watching her as I fucked her mouth. Every move I made let out that juicy, rumbling fart sound, but I was only focused on Kiana. She took every bit of me, her eyes glassy and overflowing with desire when she looked up at me. Her hand rose to her tit and I saw fucking stars. Jesus, she was playing with herself as she sucked me off.

  “Fuck, Kiana. Keep doing that.”

  She grabbed the other one, fondling both her nipples. I fucked her mouth harder, my eyes locked on her tits. I wanted to fuck those babies, but there wasn’t time to move. Maybe next time.

  I grunted and slammed my dick as far in her mouth as I could. She groaned like I was fucking her when I came, a hard squirt that crossed my eyes and made me fucking dizzy. I screamed her damn name, too. Jesus, I’d never come that hard in my life.

  When the aftershocks finally calmed down, I released her hair and eased back, another farting noise filling the now silent room.

  She looked up at me, her throat working to swallow, then grinned. “I’ve been choosing to believe that’s the chair and not you. Please tell me I was right.”

  I laughed. Fuck, the woman could suck my dick like a pro then immediately make me laugh? I might have found the woman of my dreams for real.

  “Yes, it was the chair.”

  “Phew. I would have been really pissed if you were farting in my face.”

  “Not on your life, honey,” I said, dragging her up onto my naked lap. I was still hard, my dick twitching when her wet panties brushed against him.

  She sucked in a ragged breath, her bare chest rising right to my lips. I captured a nipple, giving it a lick and a love bite. She drew in another of those ragged breaths.

  “It seemed to me you enjoyed yourself.”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “Do you need another few to get through the rest of the day?”

  She shook her head. “If I have any more orgasms, I won’t be able to concentrate the rest of the day. I have a lot of work to do.�
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  I thrust up into her and smiled when she groaned. “It seems your body has other plans.”

  A car door slammed outside, and our eyes went to the window. The blinds were turned up so no one could see in, but a quick peek showed Jack and the others getting out of their cars.

  She scrambled off my lap. “I guess we need a raincheck on that.”

  I shook my head and reached for my shorts. We dressed quickly, knowing everyone would know exactly what was happening but not wanting to have them witness it.

  When she had her clothes on, I snagged her and pulled her into my arms. “Are we good?”

  She nodded. “Absolutely.”

  “I’m sorry I ran out. I won’t do that next time.”

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “I’m not saying I’ll stay, but I won’t leave right away, either.”

  She straightened her clothes and headed for the door. “Thank you.”

  I winked at her. “I’m taking you out again, just as soon as you tell me you’re free. Maybe a birthday dinner?”

  She nibbled her lip and nodded. “Jack told you?”

  I nodded. “I wish you had,” I said as she opened the door.

  “Well, you know now.”

  I grinned. “Hey Kiana?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m not waiting long to have you again. But next time, I get another taste.”

  She shuddered ever so slightly and gasped. And damn if I didn’t want to lock the door again and pay everyone in the office double to go home.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kiana got a hold of Tara a few days later and booked their wedding for mid-August. Noah called me the next day and thanked me, said she’s already driving him nuts.

  “You’re the one who asked her to marry you,” I told him.

  “I love her, even with her crazy.”

  “You’d do anything for her.”

  He laughed softly. “Absolutely. Sounds like you and the wedding planner are getting close.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “Tara said she sounded smitten with you. I told her there was no way my brother was involved with anyone, let alone his boss. You know you just cost me a date night.”