Order vs. Chaos

by Mary E Thompson

  Tears filled her eyes and she squeezed them shut. “I can’t trust you, Sawyer.”

  I nodded. I knew that was coming. And I’d earned that. The first time push came to shove, I bailed. She deserved more than that.

  “You shouldn’t trust me. I was an ass. I should have told Carrington that he was being ridiculous and that you’re the best wedding planner on the island. I should have told them both that I’m ten times better than the douche-canoe hired to shoot their wedding. I should have told him that I’m sorry I was a coward years ago.” I paused, catching her eyes. “I told them all of that and more when I went to see them Thursday.”

  “What? You went to see him? Are you okay?”

  I nodded, stifling the grin that wanted to break free. She was still worried about me. Damn that felt good. “I’m good. Better than good. I spent the last two days with them, getting to know him again and figuring out who she is. They want me here, Kiana. You can refuse, but they asked me to be here.”

  She sighed. “Then I guess I don’t get a vote, do I?”

  I grinned and moved closer to her. “You always get a vote. You get the only vote where I’m concerned.”

  “It doesn’t feel like it. You went behind my back and did all of this without me knowing.”

  “You didn’t need to worry about it. You needed to focus on the wedding.”

  “Except I’ve spent the last three days sick because of Anthony.”

  “What did he do?” I demanded, feeling like an ass for not being there for her.

  She shook her head. “He didn’t do anything. Just knowing he would be the only photographer here today made me sick. He can destroy this whole thing.”

  I grinned. “I think you’ll find he can’t do much of anything to mess up today.”

  “What did you do?”

  I shook my head. “You’re just going to have to wait and see. You need to worry about the wedding.”

  She took a deep breath, her chest rising beneath her yellow dress. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and kiss her until we were forced to come up for air, but I knew she wasn’t ready.

  “After this weekend, you’re still fired. I can’t work with someone I can’t trust.”

  I nodded, grinning. “Okay.”

  She shook her head. “I’m serious, Sawyer. I appreciate you coming back today, but only because I don’t have any options besides Anthony. And if I have to pick the lesser of two evils, it’s you.”

  The fact that she put me in the same category as Anthony worried me a bit. He was a first class shithead who destroyed her heart. I was just a guy she dated. A guy I hoped she could love one day, but not if she thought of me the same way she thought of him.

  My grin faltered, and I hurried out of her office before she told me to go home. I couldn’t mess up the day for her.

  I avoided Kiana until the wedding started. Carrington nodded at me as he walked by, and Rachel smiled at me. I made sure I was in the perfect position to take all the shots I needed to take, crowding Anthony out of the way if he was too close to where I wanted to be.

  Kiana stood off to the side, looking stunning as always. I watched as she dabbed her eyes when they exchanged their rings. She ducked away when they recited their vows to love and cherish each other.

  I wanted to follow her, but I knew my place was at the ceremony, taking pictures of Carrington and Rachel.

  When the ceremony was over and the crew was working to convert the beach to a reception, Rachel approached me.

  “She’s really upset.”

  I nodded. “I know. I just don’t know why.”

  “You should ask her.”

  I shook my head. “She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

  “There you go assuming what people want again. I think maybe you should talk to her and let her tell you.”

  I glanced around. “I have a job to do. She’ll be more upset with me if I’m not here for pictures.”

  Rachel reached for my camera. “Tell her I asked to borrow your camera for a few minutes. That I wanted some time alone with my new husband. We’ll stall until you get back.”

  I chuckled. “Thanks, Rachel.”

  She grinned. “We’re a lot alike, you know. Both of us chasing people who keep pushing us away. Maybe one day we’ll be on this beach for your wedding.”

  I smiled. “I can only hope so.”

  “Then you better go find yourself that bride.”

  I handed over my camera and went toward the office. Kiana’s door was closed most of the way. I heard her talking and peeked in. She was pacing her office, talking to herself.

  “He’s so cute. But I can’t get over how frustrating he is. And he left. But he came back. And what is up with that smile. I can’t resist that damn smile. He knows it, too. He uses it to his advantage. I’ll never be able to say no to him if he flashes that damn grin at me. I know he went to bat for me. Got what I wanted at his own risk. He didn’t have to do that, but he did. And I love him for it, but—”

  “You love me?” I breathed, alerting her to my presence.

  “Sawyer! What are you doing here?”

  “Finding out you love me, I guess. Or walking away because you’ve been ranting about someone else.”

  She sucked in a deep breathe and held it. When she let it out, I could feel how scared she was.

  “Why did you come back here, Sawyer?”

  “What?” I asked, baffled.

  “Today. Now. Why are you here?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to face today alone. Not with Anthony here. Even if you hate me, I will do everything in my power to make sure the pictures that go out from this wedding showcase how good you are at making every fantasy a couple has about their wedding day come true.”

  She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. “Why did you go see Joe and Rachel?”

  “For the same reason. You give me the strength to face anything. To look my demons in the eye and say ‘bring it on.’ I know I can handle anything with you by my side.”

  “You never wanted this job.”

  I shook my head. “I didn’t. I wasn’t sure about taking it, but it got me to Hawaii. It got me on the island I wanted to be on. And it brought me to you.”

  “You left, Sawyer.”

  “I came back.”

  “But you left. Everyone in my life leaves me. I don’t think I can handle it anymore. I don’t think I can go through every day worrying you might leave again.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Kapena told me you packed your bags. That you were leaving the island.”

  I sighed and mentally cursed his nosy ass. He needed to keep out of my shit.

  “I was running scared. I told you everything was fine the other day, but it wasn’t. Seeing you with Anthony made me see how much you still care about him. You wouldn’t have been so upset by him being here if you didn’t still love him. And the things he said, about you not trusting me and not loving me… That fucking hurt. I knew you weren’t there yet, but hearing that you got there so quickly with him and weren’t even close with me was…hard. When Carrington told me to get out, it was impossible for me to think I could fight anymore. You didn’t defend me. You didn’t say you would only work with me. You let them dictate who would be a part of your business. It felt like you were choosing him and Opposites Attract over me.”

  I paused to take in the anger on her face then pushed forward.

  “You were right to choose Opposites Attract over me. Your brother helped me see that. As for Anthony, I don’t care anymore if you loved him, when you fell for him, or if you still have feelings for him. I love you. And if I’m in this alone, I’m not giving up. You know who he really is. I know you’ll never go back to him. I’m hoping one day I’ll be enough for you, but I’ll never again put you in a position to choose between your company and me. I’ll be standing right behind you, pushing you forward, and supporting you when you need it.”

  A single tear ran down her cheek. I
didn’t know what it meant. It could have been anything from the end of us to the start of something new between us.

  She sucked in a breath and wiped the rest of her tears before they chased the first one.

  “Anthony always pitted me against my company. He said we didn’t have enough time together because I worked too much. He said I wasn’t growing because I didn’t try out the things he suggested. He said I was constantly ignoring his advice. It was either him or my company. In the end, I was considering making him a partner. I didn’t know who he was. I loved him, yes, but he destroyed that when he left. Finding out about him and Cathy only solidified that I didn’t belong with him.

  “But you? You’ve always done what you could to help me. You worked your ass off to go above and beyond for every client as though it was your job to make them happy. They’ve all raved about your work and how kind you were. When you walked out, on the heels of Anthony being here, it was like you were him all over again.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but she silenced me with one hand.

  “I know. You’re nothing like him. I’m grateful for that. I couldn’t handle getting hurt like that again, especially by you. Because how I feel for you is nothing like how I felt about him. I thought I loved him, but I didn’t know what love really was until I met you.”

  I grinned. I couldn’t help it. I was one happy mother fucker. “Yeah?”

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Does that mean I can have my job back?”

  She snorted. “Please. It was always yours. I was angry and hurt. I lashed out. And I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head and walked over to her. “No. It was all my fault. None of this was yours. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry for walking away. For not fighting him in the first place.”

  “You didn’t really fight him, did you?” she gasped.

  I shook my head. “I definitely wouldn’t look this good if I fought him. He’s tougher than me.”

  She cupped my face and turned my head from side to side. “You do look pretty good.”

  I wrapped her up in my arms, lifting her off the floor. “You look good enough to eat.” I licked her neck and nibbled my way across her jaw.

  She sighed, her body melting into mine.

  “I’ve missed you. I can’t sleep without you next to me.”

  “I think we need to do something about that,” she whispered.

  I nudged my hard cock against her and said, “Can we do something about this, too?”

  She giggled and nodded. “Absolutely.”

  “After the wedding, I’m coming home with you.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “I hope you don’t have anything planned for tomorrow because I plan to make you come all night long.”

  “Best night ever.”

  I chuckled then pulled back so I could look into her eyes. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”

  She nodded, the smile fading from her lips.

  “I love you, Kiana. You’re my home. Wherever you are, I want to be.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  Music started playing outside the window. We both looked. “I like the sound of that, too. Think we should go join the party?”

  She nodded.

  I let her slip out of my arms and start to walk away before I yanked her back to me.

  She let out a shocked gasp that I swallowed. I devoured her lips, desperate to taste her again after four long days of a drought.

  Her tongue tangled with mine, thrusting hard into my mouth. We teased each other, keeping our hands in safe zones, but saying everything we needed to say with our lips. When we finally broke apart, breathless and turned on to the point that I ached, she grinned.

  “You know I love you, too, right?”

  I grinned and shook my head. “Best thing I’ve ever heard.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  We walked back outside hand in hand. Rachel and Carrington were just walking up from the beach, shit-eating grins on both of their faces.

  “I guess she agreed to give your dumb ass another shot,” Carrington said.

  I nodded. “I’m a lucky bastard. Anything I need to delete on this thing?”

  Rachel grinned up at him and blushed. “We deleted them already.”

  I groaned. “I really hope so. I don’t need to see his junk.”

  “Yeah, might make him jealous,” Carrington said with a nudge.

  I snorted. “Not likely.”

  “All right, guys,” Kiana said. “Let’s not get into a dick measuring contest. I think Rachel and I are both incredibly happy with what we’ve got. You need to let it go.”

  I snickered at Carrington, and he flipped me off. We all laughed and walked over to the party.

  Kiana and I worked like crazy, making sure the rest of the night was perfect. Anthony was there, but he didn’t get in my way anymore. I wondered if he’d heard the news. The dickwad got what was coming to him, and I was more than happy to be the one who delivered it.

  “You look happy,” Kiana said when she sat down next to me for dinner.

  I nodded. “I live in my dream spot, have my dream girl, and a pretty kick-ass job.”

  “Not your dream job?” she asked, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

  I shrugged. “It’s definitely growing on me. The perks are pretty great.”

  “Perks?”

  “Yeah. Amazing views. Awesome people. And an utterly fuckable boss.”

  I nuzzled her neck, and she giggled.

  “I plan to strip you out of this dress later and kiss every inch of your skin. I’ve missed being in your bed all night.”

  “This coming from a guy who was afraid to be in my bed only a few weeks ago.”

  I growled against her neck, making her squeal.

  “All right you two,” Ada said. “You’re not the bride and groom so you can’t be that disgustingly cute.”

  “I think I’m going to elope,” Kiana declared. “Fly to Vegas. Isn’t that what people do?”

  I laughed. “The wedding planner for people who basically elope wants to leave paradise for her own wedding? Something isn’t right about that.”

  “I won’t be your best friend anymore if you elope. I want to officiate your wedding.”

  “I thought you’d be my maid of honor.”

  “I thought I was your maid of honor,” Jack said, pouting as he sat next to Ada.

  Kiana laughed at them. “Okay, fine. We’ll get married here, Ada can officiate and Jack can be my maid of honor.”

  “We?” I asked.

  Her cheeks splashed pink, and her eyes widened as she realized what she’d said. “I just meant whoever I get married to.”

  “Uh uh. You said ‘we.’ Me and you. You aren’t getting out of this one.”

  “I wasn’t trying to trap you or anything.”

  “Really? Because I was completely planning to trap you. Make it so you had no choice but to marry me.”

  Ada squealed with delight. Jack just grinned. “I called it,” he said.

  “You’re not seriously proposing, are you?”

  I laughed. “Like this? Uh, no. But one day I will.”

  Her shocked gasp went straight to my cock. Damn, she made me crazy. I wasn’t sure I could wait long to have her as my wife. Vicki and Hunter had the right idea getting married six weeks after they got engaged. I was thinking maybe even the day we got engaged.

  Eloping held more and more appeal.

  “No,” Jack said. “I see those wheels turning. You’re not taking her away and marrying her. You’re going to let us throw the biggest wedding we’ve ever done and invite all of your friends you keep talking about and party for a week.”

  “I don’t want her to have that much work to deal with.”

  Jack scoffed. “Please. I’ll be planning her wedding. We agreed when we were in high school.”

  I laughed. “Then I guess it’s settled.”

  “Except for
the whole asking me to marry you thing.”

  “Did you ask her to marry you?” Rachel blurted. She and Carrington sat at the table with us.

  I shook my head. “Not yet. But one day.”

  “You absolutely have to invite us. I mean, if you don’t mind us being here.”

  Kiana grinned and reached for Rachel’s hand. “Of course, we’d love to have you. Any time you want to come visit, let us know.”

  “Good. Because the weather here sure beats Minnesota this time of year.”

  I laughed. “I agree. Shit, I thought Winterville was cold.”

  “You lived in a place called Winterville?” Ada asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah. The name came honestly.”

  “Did you tell her yet?” Carrington asked.

  Three heads turned to me as I shook mine.

  “Tell her now,” Rachel encouraged.

  “Tell me what?” Kiana said.

  I sighed. “You remember how I told you I knew Carrington before?”

  She glanced at the others and nodded, drawing her lip between her teeth.

  “We talked. He wants me to tell his story. Their story.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah. We talked to the people with Not A Dream, and they want to print that story. I have to get approval from my old boss, but Not A Dream agreed to pay for the photos and run the whole thing. Sort of a backstory for how they got together.”

  “That’s amazing,” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I’m really proud of you.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered against her neck.

  “Will someone tell me what’s going on?” Jack said.

  “Sawyer used to take pictures for the military. He knew Joe and was the reason he lost his leg. Sawyer never ran the pictures for the story he was working on at that time, and Joe was pissed off about it. Now that they’ve met again, they both got a lot of shit off their chests, and Sawyer is going to print the pictures he took years ago. Closure for both of them.”

  We all gaped at Ada as she quickly recapped years of bullshit and history between Carrington and I. When she met our shocked gazes, she shrugged.