by RC Boldt
Laney’s eyes fell closed as she basked in the comfort of her mother’s embrace and took in her words. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever manage to find the courage to take that leap.
And, if she did, would it end up being too late?
* * *
Zach had only recently told Lawson about his transfer request and how things had gone down with Laney. So when his friend had suggested the two of them head down to Surfside to listen to the live band and have some beers, he knew it was out of concern and that Lawson was upset with his decision.
“I think you’re making a mistake, man.” Lawson shook his head before leaning in. “You’re just gonna to give up?” He gave a look of pure disbelief. “After years of foreplay?”
Zach let out a scoffing laugh. “Years of foreplay? Really?”
Lawson looked at him sternly. “You mean to tell me that every single time you said something to get under Laney’s skin it wasn’t for the purpose of getting her to pay attention to you?”
His lips pressed thin. “You know what it was.”
“Exactly.” Lawson nodded. “That was your form of foreplay.”
Incredulous, he stared at his friend. Lawson just clicked his tongue at him. “Seriously, man. You didn’t realize it, did you? It was building up to the point you had gotten to before she got spooked.” Lawson leaned back in his chair and shrugged. “She’s always been a tough nut to crack. Because you don’t expect this gorgeous woman who seems to have her shit together to be so damn gun shy when it comes to relationships, let alone the big ‘L’ word.”
His gaze rested on Lawson for a long moment as he mulled over his friend’s words. Wearily scrubbing his hand over his face, Zach let out a long sigh. Before he could comment, Lawson continued, raising an eyebrow at him. “You must’ve forgotten what happened over a year ago.”
Brows furrowed in confusion, he looked to his friend to expand on his statement.
Lawson’s expression was one of exasperation. “Um, you know, that whole Mac and Raine thing? Remember how he fu—” he paused to glance around, noticing some older folks sitting nearby, “er, screwed up, majorly. And you and I helped him plan how to get her back.” His friend looked at him pointedly.
Studying his beer bottle, he absently picked at the corner of the label. “It’s not the same, man.”
“What’s not the same?” a familiar, deep voice asked from behind him. A strong hand clamped down on his shoulder and he knew he’d been set up. Fixing a glare on Lawson, his friend held up his hands in surrender as Mac took a seat across from them at the table.
“Dude, he came to me. Like I was going to argue with Mr. Navy SEAL, here? I like living.”
“You figure out how you’re getting Laney back, yet?” Mac’s question came at him just before he asked for a water from the waitress who retreated with a dreamy smile. That man merely had to smile and flash that dimple and women everywhere were transfixed.
Not Laney, though. Zach dismissed the thought as soon as it crossed his mind. Because it didn’t matter anymore.
“Look, guys, I appreciate this, really I do, but it’s pointless. Laney told me she doesn’t want a relationship with me. That’s it. End of story.” He took a long drink of his beer.
Mac leaned his forearms on the table and his blue eyes zeroed in on him. “You don’t think it’s possible for her to change her mind?” he asked.
Zach shook his head. “Not Laney.”
Mac leaned back in his chair as the waitress set a glass of water on the coaster before him. Bringing it up to his lips, he paused at the last second. “So, that’s it? You’re just up and moving? Never to be heard from, again?”
He rolled his eyes at his friend’s melodramatic tone. “I’ll be down in Neptune Beach, not in a different state, for God’s sake.”
Mac gave him a sharp look. “Yeah, but it won’t be the same.”
Zach watched with only partial surprise as Foster slid into the only remaining available chair at the table. “Damn right, things won’t be the same.”
Fuck. On top of everything else, as if he needed Laney’s brother here. No, thanks. Wearily, he groaned as he ran a hand over the back of his neck, muscles already tense.
Getting down to business, Foster leaned his thick, muscular forearms on the table, his light brown eyes focused on Zach. “So. You’re really leaving, huh?”
Whipping his head around to Lawson, he watched as his friend gave a sheepish look before lifting a shoulder. “I sent them a text while you were in the restroom.”
With an eye roll, he pressed his palms against his eyes. “Damn it, Laws,” he bit out, jaw clenched in irritation.
“You’re really leaving?” Foster repeated his question.
Inhaling deeply before letting it out in a slow hiss, he nodded. “Yep.”
“Huh. Guess I don’t really blame you.”
Warily, he eyed Laney’s brother. It felt like a trap. He glanced over at Mac only to find him also watching Foster interestedly. Shit. That did not bode well. At all. Returning his gaze to Foster, he just waited.
Three. Two. One.
“You’re a moron if you think Laney won’t come around. You’re taking the pus—” He stopped abruptly when Mac cleared his throat loudly, giving a brief nod in the direction of the older ladies sitting nearby. “Weak ass way out by just up and moving to another city and a different school.” Pointing a finger at him, Foster continued, “And if you don’t think Laney’s going to be upset when she finds out that you’re leaving, you’re an even bigger moron and don’t deserve her.”
“Hey, hey,” Mac tossed a sharp look at Foster, “easy on the guy. Your sister did gut him, after all.” Mac turned his attention back to Zach. “Laws gave us a brief recap about that. Sorry, man. That definitely had to suck ass.”
Eyes falling closed, Zach leaned back into the chair. “Seriously, Laws?” he muttered.
“What? I knew this called for more assistance, for the big guns. And who comes to mind when you say the words ‘big guns’?” he waved his hand toward Foster and Mac. “These two, of course. Duh.”
“Things are already weird without you, man. Especially since you haven’t shown up for karaoke Saturdays,” Mac interrupted.
“I’ve been busy looking for a new place down in Neptune Beach, trying to find something nearby the school.” Zach took a long drink of his beer, wishing the entire conversation were already over.
Foster and Mac exchanged a look, doing that silent communication thing the former SEALs often did. Finally, Foster nodded. “Well, let me know if you need help moving into your new place,” he paused to smirk, “so I can be out of town.”
Rolling his eyes, Zach shook his head, giving a deadpanned, “You’re hilarious.”
Foster grinned. “I’m kidding. Let me know if you need help. For real, man.”
“I appreciate it, Fos.”
Foster rose from the table then pushed in his chair. “I’ve got some work sh— er, crap to take care of, so I have to run.” His gaze rested on Zach. “I still think there’s a good chance Laney will surprise you.” With a wink, he said good-bye and made his way through the crowded tables to the exit.
“Well, I’ve got a beautiful wife to get home to, so I’ve got to get going,” Mac said. With a friendly slap to Zach’s back, he rose saying, “I think things will work out better than you expect.”
After Mac’s exit, Zach stared down at his beer in silence. “Laws?”
“Yeah, pumpkin?” came the smartass reply. Yet, it didn’t even bring the slightest quirk to his lips as he was so lost in thought.
“You, uh, think there’s a chance Laney’ll actually come around?” God, he sounded like such a fucking pansy ass, right now.
There was such a long silence that Zach looked up from where he had been picking at the beer label. Lawson was watching him carefully. His friend’s lips twisted briefly before he finally answered.
“I guess you’ll never know if you don’t stick aroun
d.”
Zach’s eyes returned to his bottle of beer but not really seeing it. The truth was, he wasn’t so sure he had it in him to stick around anymore.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
IT WAS THE SECOND WEEK of May and a Monday to boot. Mr. Pratt had been out at a principal in-service the previous Monday so their meeting had been postponed until today. According to the meeting’s agenda everyone had been emailed that morning, their principal would be announcing those who were retiring or leaving the school.
Normally, since Mr. Pratt was such a great person to work for—and with—anyone leaving the school was doing so only because of retirement or because their significant other’s job was causing them to relocate.
Laney grabbed her notebook and clipped her pen to it, ready to head over to scoop up Raine and Tate and head downstairs to where the meeting would be held on the first floor in their Media Center. Exiting her classroom, she saw Zach walking out of his own, notepad under one arm, pen clipped to the collar of his polo. He gave her the briefest nod before turning to lock his door. She locked her own, turning in the opposite direction, and walked down the hall to meet her friends.
She felt like it was easier to breathe, the farther away she walked from him. When she entered Raine’s classroom, she saw both her and Tate turn as if startled by her presence. The two women exchanged a worried look. But why?
“Everything cool? You hot things ready to head down?” she asked lightheartedly.
“Yeah.” Raine drew the word out slowly. “We’re ready to roll.” Her two friends walked over to where she was standing by the door.
Tate’s eyes scanned her features as if to gauge her expression. For what, she wasn’t sure. “You doing okay?”
Laney started to nod but then stopped herself. Blowing out a short breath, she lifted a shoulder in a semi shrug. “I’m trudging through.” Her forced smile felt brittle.
The door opened behind her and she turned to see Mac. “Well, if it isn’t the three most beautiful ladies in the school.” Smiling at them, he winked. “Ready to make the other men jealous by escorting me to the meeting?” He held out his arms.
Raine shook her head with a laugh. “You are incorrigible, Mackenzie.”
“You love me, just the same,” he replied with confidence.
His wife merely rolled her eyes and exited the classroom ahead of them as Tate and Laney took Mac’s offered arms and walked down the hall, following their friend.
“This is a better view, anyway,” Mac called out to Raine before lowering his voice. “God, I love that woman.”
She turned to see Mac’s gaze still on his wife, a content smile on his face, corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. She bumped her shoulder lightly against him. “We know, buddy. We know.”
Mac looked over at her and his lips parted as if he were going to say something more. But he was interrupted by Lawson who was waiting at the top of the stairwell, preparing to head down to the first floor with them.
“What’s this? I never get escorted anywhere like that.” Lawson laid a hand over his heart as if he were hurt. “Why does he get all the love? Whyyyyyy?”
“Get over here.” Laney let go of Mac’s arm, tugging her friend to her. She linked her arm with Lawson’s. “Better?”
He laid his hand atop the one she had placed on his arm. “Much. Shall we descend the stairs, milady?” he asked with a British accent.
“We shall.” She nodded primly, playing along. Catching Mac and Tate’s smiles, Tate winked at her.
Laney knew that behind all the fun and silliness with Mac and Lawson was concern for her, attempts at trying to keep her spirits up. As they descended the stairs, making their way to the first floor of the school, she knew without a doubt that she was a very lucky woman.
She may not have love in her life, but she had the most amazing friends. And that, in itself, was a true blessing.
* * *
Sitting through the meeting, waiting for Mr. Pratt to make his announcement of those leaving due to retirement or otherwise, he braced himself. It was going to be difficult to receive the shocked responses from the teachers he had come to know over the years; teachers he had worked side by side with, laughed with, commiserated with.
You want to know how Laney’s going to take it, an inner voice taunted him. You want to see if she even cares.
Before he could negate those thoughts, he heard Mr. Pratt’s voice. “… and, sadly, Zachariah Mayson is leaving us to accept a fifth grade position at Neptune Beach Intermediate.”
Don’t turn Laney’s way, don’t turn Laney’s way, don’t—
His breath caught at the look of utter shock and disbelief on her face. Her eyes flashed with pain before he forced himself to turn away, refocusing his attention on his principal. Because, really, what did it matter how Laney felt about the news of him leaving? She didn’t give two shits about him or how he felt about her. She’d made that perfectly clear.
“All right, folks. That wraps up our meeting. Go on home and I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow,” Mr. Pratt called the meeting to an end.
Within seconds of Zach standing to push in his chair at the table, he was surrounded by teachers expressing their dismay or disappointment at the news. A few offered up boxes to help him pack up his classroom materials, others hinted at asking the question of why he was switching schools.
He was saved from having to answer when Lawson slung an arm over his shoulders and entered the conversation.
“This guy just couldn’t handle the competition I was giving him with all the beautiful ladies at this school.” Lawson gave a look of sorrow as he shook his head. “It’s going to be tough being the main guy admired by everyone, but it’s a role I’m willing to fill.”
Of course, the older female teachers tittered with “Oh, Lawson” and the younger ones rolled their eyes with a chuckle. But he did the job and they dispersed, exiting the Media Center. Only Lawson and Zach remained along with the main librarian, at the far end, still filing books.
Lawson removed his arm from Zach only to fold them across his broad chest, concerned. “You okay, man?”
Shaking off the slightest feeling of dread at the idea of leaving the people he worked with whom he had come to think of as family, at not having his group of friends as close by any longer, he forced a half smile. “I’m gonna be okay.”
He noted that Lawson didn’t point out that he hadn’t exactly answered his question. He also recognized his own words for what they really were: a mixture of a plea and an affirmation. Because the truth of the matter was, he needed to know he was going to be okay, that he was going to be able to move past this.
To move on without Laney in his life.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
LANEY FIGURED THAT SHE WAS in a state of shock because she didn’t recall any part of the walk back to her classroom after the meeting had ended, nor the conversations her friends were having which sounded muffled to her ears. She was in a daze as she returned to her classroom, key poised in her hand to unlock the door.
“Laney,” a voice forcefully called out to her, causing her head to whip around. Raine and Tate were standing beside her, their faces concerned.
Shaking off the fog that had attempted to consume her thoughts, she gave them a tight smile. “Um, I’m good. I just … need to, uh, get my stuff and head home.”
She jammed the key into the door and unlocked it, pulling it open forcefully, feeling as if she were suddenly safe as soon as she stepped foot inside her classroom. Quickly, she walked to her desk, shoved her notebook in her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Whipping around, she caught wide-eyed expressions on both of her friends’ faces as she came back to the doorway.
“Sorry, but I really need to leave now,” she told them, knowing that they normally walked out together.
Raine nodded slowly, still watching her cautiously. “I’m going to check on you in a bit, okay?”
“Yep.” Laney couldn’t force anything more out aside fr
om the simple one-word utterance.
“Me, too. And if we don’t hear back from you—even if it’s just a quick text—we will show up.” Tate traded a look with Raine as if to affirm the threat.
Laney nodded, feeling as if the walls were already starting to close in on her. “Got it.” She started down the hall, nearly sprinting to the door leading to the stairwell. Just as her hand reached out to it, it opened and … Zach.
They both froze, staring at one another, and it was only thanks to Lawson that it didn’t become even more awkward. Their friend jostled Zach from behind, playfully adding, “Dude, don’t be a bottlenecker. Let us through so the lady, here, can be on her way.” This spurred Zach into moving through quickly, without a word, as Lawson gave Laney a tight smile, following his friend.
She raced down the stairs, her bag bouncing against her side as she exited the school building, walking through the parking lot to her car. It wasn’t until she was pulling onto I-95 North to head back up to Fernandina Beach that she was able to breathe easier.
The entire drive home, she thought about the fact that Zach was transferring schools. Moving from Fernandina Beach to Neptune Beach. And it was because of her. She had done this. She had refused to have a relationship with him, refused to take that leap and experience love to the fullest. And he was cutting her out of his life, changing it so there wasn’t any possible way for them to interact. Unless it was by his choice.
She had done this. And now she had to accept it.
* * *
Zach stared down at his planner on the desk for God knows how long before Lawson finally spoke. “Dude, I hate to break up the whole gazing longingly at your planner thing and all, but it’s going on two minutes now and it’s starting to really freak me out.”
Lifting his head, he stared at Lawson, hearing the desolate sound to his own voice when he spoke. “She didn’t say anything. Not one word, just … nothing.” He broke off, the last word coming out sounding strangled. A part sigh, part groan escaped him as he ground his palms into his eyes.
