by RC Boldt
“Yep.”
“Still as cruel and unusual as always?”
“Yep.”
Lawson nodded. “Good to know some things are constant.”
Zach groaned. “Not you, too.”
Lawson’s eyes went wide with faux innocence. “I’m merely saying that it’s going to suck not having you around, that’s all.”
Zach shot him a look. “You and Mac totally planned this, didn’t you? The whole, ‘let’s bombard Zach on the last day of school so he feels guilty and doesn’t want to go through with it’ thing.”
“Did Mac lay it on too thick? Wait,” Lawson’s crease between his brows became pronounced, “did you just admit to not wanting to go along with it?”
Shit. He could feel the beginning of a headache coming on. He didn’t want to hash this out.
Wearily, he said, “Laws, let’s not do this. It’s been a shitty day. Between my mother’s call, Mac giving me shit, and Laney’s surprise cue cards reenactment, I’ve met my quota today. Please just lay off.”
He took a long drink of his beer and stared at the sunset. Lawson was unusually quiet. Which was always suspicious. He turned his head toward his friend.
“No comment, huh? That’s a first,” Zach muttered, returning to gaze at the sunset.
“Actually, I’m impressed. Wasn’t sure if she was going to go through with it.”
“That one board was a nice touch, man,” he said drily, corners of his lips tilted up. “Was it also your idea for her to play 98 Degrees’ “Because of You” in the background?”
Lawson laughed. “I might have planted the seed. And I had to slide that one board in for you. Only saw the one behind it and figured the overall tone of them was a little too sobfest inducing.” He paused. “So. What did she—or her boards—say exactly?”
Zach ran his tongue over the front of his teeth before taking in a deep breath. “Basically that she wanted me to be happy, find someone who would love me … and that I had her heart.” The last few words felt like they were sticking in his throat, coming out with a faint grittiness. Clearing his throat, he added, “And that I always would.”
“Huh,” was all Lawson said. But it spoke volumes.
The two of them sat in silence for some time, just watching the myriad of colors begin to decorate the sky. Hearing a bit of shuffling next to him, he turned to see Lawson head inside. He assumed his friend was going to get another beer. When Lawson returned a moment later, he didn’t have a beer in his hand, but a permanent blue market and a spiral bound notebook.
Cautiously, he asked, “What’s going on?”
With a wry smile, Lawson tossed the notebook and marker to him. “Thought maybe you could use this. Maybe write down your feelings.”
He stared at his friend. “Uh, Laws …”
Lawson held up his index finger to him as he tapped the screen of his phone a few times before looking up at Zach with a grin. “Sorry. Just checking on some stuff.” Lawson wiggled his eyebrows and held Zach’s gaze expectantly.
Okay, fine. I’ll take the bait. Zach sighed wearily. “Stuff liiiike?” He drew out the word, exasperated with his friend’s mysterious response.
“Like exactly where a certain brunette is right at this moment,” Lawson answered, one eyebrow raised pointedly.
Turning his gaze away, he tried for nonchalance. “Really. And where would that be?”
“Surfing.”
His head whipped back in Lawson’s direction. “What?” Slamming his bottle down, he came to his feet. Because Laney shouldn’t be surfing alone, damn it. She was still a newbie. If anything happened to her …
Lawson stood, his hand coming up firmly against Zach’s chest, giving him pause. “Yo, man. Chill for a minute. Just put yourself in her place. Where would you go if you wanted to feel close to a certain person? She’s not trying to injure herself. She’s just … hurting.” Lawson’s blue eyes held his as if imploring him to understand.
Nodding slowly, Zach ran his hands over his hair, coming to rest on his head for a moment. “I’ve got to go, Laws. Sorry to bail, man, but—”
“Go.” Lawson flashed him a knowing smile, shoving the marker and notebook at his chest. “Just go.”
Zach rushed inside the house, slipped on his flip flops, and took off out the front door and down the stairs. He had to cross the street to make it to the beach and still had probably five more minutes of hauling his ass to where he figured she’d be.
If he were a betting man, she would be near the beach access where he normally taught surf lessons, where the waves were often better, bigger. The spot where she’d always think of him, have memories of their lessons, the fun they had together.
And, maybe, she’d also remember the love that had grown stronger in that very spot.
CHAPTER FIFTY
SHE WAS THE MOST PATHETIC person on Earth. This confirmed it. She was probably going to adopt fifty cats, only do her shopping online, be a shut-in and die in her small house with only her cats to mourn her.
Okay, that was actually really depressing to consider. She was allergic to cats, anyway.
Laney had gone down to the beach and managed to catch two ankle busters, basically weak waves, so she decided to call it a day and give up any attempt at catching waves.
Standing at the shoreline with the water lapping at her feet, she held her surfboard upright with one arm. It was the board Zach had loaned her and never collected back. Probably didn’t want it back, probably thought it was tainted now. Not like she blamed the guy.
She stood watching the beginning of what was guaranteed to be a magnificent sunset, the molten orange streaks already spreading across the sky. She was a few steps away from where she had left her bag with her towel and phone hooked up to the external speaker. It was currently softly playing Meghan Trainor and John Legend’s duet of “Like I’m Gonna Lose You”. She realized it made her even more pathetic to have created a playlist of songs that made her think of Zach, but she didn’t care. So be it. She was pathetic and she was embracing it fully, damn it.
Inhaling a deep breath of the salty ocean air, she took in the spectacular sight before her. She felt as though it were a sign telling her that there was still beauty in the world, even amidst pain and heartache.
She had tried, she had taken that jump, but it had been too late. Zach had already moved on, was finished with her and certainly not interested in giving her a second chance. Hell, the guy was even going so far as to move an hour away and teach at a different school just to get away from her. If that wasn’t sending an obvious ‘I don’t want anything to do with you message’, she wasn’t sure what would.
She’d finally done it, though. Finally, she’d given herself over to loving someone, to allow love in her life. As much as it hurt now, she knew she would’ve regretted it more if she hadn’t declared her feelings for Zach, if she hadn’t offered her heart to him.
She closed her eyes, tilting her head to the sky and muttered a small prayer, “If you could maybe make it hurt a little less, that’d be great.”
Suddenly, her music stopped playing mid-song and changed to Adele’s “Lovesong”. Laney’s eyes flew open, startled at the fact that someone was behind her, changing her music. Turning, with her surfboard still in her grasp, her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Zach standing a mere foot away from her, his hands behind his back. She watched as he brought something from behind his back, saw that it was a … spiral bound notebook? And a marker?
Watching him curiously, she waited as he uncapped the permanent blue marker and opened up the notebook, flipping past numerous pages, mumbling something about “finding a damn blank page”. Finally finding one, he scribbled quickly before turning it toward her, his eyes burning with intensity as he studied her. Waiting for her answer.
Did you mean everything you said in my classroom?
Laney’s throat grew tight, felt her eyes burn with unshed tears. “I meant every word.” Her voice was strangled, hoarse to he
r own ears.
He gave a brief nod before turning the notebook back his way, flipping to find another available page, and scribbled again. He turned it her way.
Every part of me aches for you.
Her eyes flew to Zach’s and she bit her lip to hold in the sob threatening to break free at his unapologetically honest admission.
He flipped to another page and quickly wrote something else, then capped the marker before sliding it into the pocket of his khaki shorts. Zach turned the notebook toward her as he studied her intently.
I’d offer you my heart … but you already have it.
Laney’s breath held, so unprepared for his words. She had been resigned to the fact that she’d lost him forever. “You have mine, too,” she whispered as the first tears escaped, trickling down her cheeks.
Zach tossed the notebook down, held out his arms, uttering only one word, “Laney.”
With a cry, she let go of the surfboard and nearly hurled herself against him, tears flowing down her cheeks as she held onto him. Zach’s arms wrapped around her tightly and she felt him press kisses to her hair.
“I love you,” she told him, her voice thick. Instantly, she felt the slight rumble of his chest beneath her cheek.
“Please, Kavanaugh. As if I didn’t know that already,” he said, his cocky tone eliciting a wet laugh from her. God, she’d missed this. Missed him. He whispered in her ear, and she could hear the humor laced with affection. “Those cue cards pretty much confirmed it for me.”
Raising her head from his chest, she peered up at him. His eyes held more warmth than she’d ever witnessed, hands coming up to cradle her face. Zach’s thumb swiped at the tears streaking her cheeks before he spoke, his words a sweet caress over her heart, “I love you, Laney.” He pressed his lips to hers tenderly.
Zach took one of her hands in his, linking their fingers together to bring their joined hands up to press a kiss to hers. Pulling her closer, his lips brushed against hers as he spoke.
“Even after all the anger, all the hurt, I would still choose you. Every,” he kissed her, “single,” another kiss, “time.” When his lips pressed against hers, it was a kiss with more love, more passion behind it than any she’d ever before experienced. It was a kiss of promise from the man who loved her. The man who wouldn’t leave.
Laney stayed there in his embrace, exchanging soft kisses while they watched the sun sink farther in the western sky. With a sudden realization, Laney pushed away to look at him, concerned. “Wait a minute. What’s going to happen now that you’re going to be down in Neptune Beach?”
Giving her a mischievous smile, Zach said, “Let’s just say a certain principal had high hopes that I’d change my mind so he didn’t fill my position.”
“Thank God,” she sighed, leaning her head on his chest.
“You want to keep me around, huh?”
Laney tipped her head back to meet his gaze. “You bet I do.”
“For how long?” he asked.
She cocked her head as if to ponder the question. “Mmm, I don’t know. Definitely as long as you have the Chevelle.” The corners of her lips twitched with the urge to smile.
He pretended to be insulted and shook his head, muttering, “I can’t believe it. The woman of my dreams only wants me for my car.”
She gave him a salacious grin and winked. “Oh, now. I want you for more than that.”
“Oh? And what is that?” he asked with a suggestive smile. “For my big—”
Laney reached up, pulling him down to her for a kiss, reveling in the softness of his lips against hers. Breaking the kiss, she lifted to her toes, placing her lips to his ear to whisper, “I want you for your big heart. The one I hope will love me forever.”
Zach’s hands slid into her damp hair, drawing her away, his eyes finding hers. In them was an intoxicating combination of heated desire and love.
“I’ll love you forever, Laney.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “And then I’ll love you a little more.”
THE END
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTs
This book would have never been possible if it weren’t for the following individuals (in no particular order):
My former coworkers, the ladies I’m proud to call my friends and still laugh about our teaching shenanigans. I’m sure you’ll notice some of these familiar stories in here.
Heather K., my soul sister. You’re always there to support me, regardless of how many miles separate us. I consider myself beyond lucky to call you my friend.
Kristi and Lynn for letting me shove book blurbs and manuscripts in front of them to look over and critique. You ladies are the best and I thank UNF for uniting us years ago!
Sarah M., for being my cheerleader from the start of this journey. I’m both proud and honored that you’re my “biggest fan”.
My husband for … well, everything.
My readers! The fact that I actually have readers is just … AWESOME!! Thank you for choosing to read these books. Without your support, your sweet emails and reviews, none of this would be possible. I am forever grateful.
Ms. Melissa at There For You Editing for helping to fine-tune this book. And for telling me I’m actually a really good writer when I feel like I suck at it.
Ms. Chasity at Rockstar PR for taking the time to guide a new indie author along her way. All of your time and advice are appreciated more than you can imagine.
Ms. Robin at Wicked By Design for creating a cover that I absolutely LOVE!!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
RC Boldt is the wife of Mr. Boldt, a retired Navy Chief, mother of Little Miss Boldt, and former teacher of many students. She currently lives on the coast of North Carolina but dreams of relocating to a tropical island. When she’s not writing, she can be found daydreaming of relocating to a tropical island, at the beach, going running with her family (and contemplating *gently* tossing her daughter out of the jogging stroller to reduce weight resistance), singing karaoke, harassing her husband or relaxing with a good book. And, let’s be honest. Most of those activities listed probably include wine or a good microbrew. Except for the running. In that case, the drinks come afterward.
RC loves hearing from her readers at [email protected]. You can also check out her website at http://www.rcboldtbooks.com or her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/rcboldtauthor for the latest updates on upcoming book releases.
