“Oh, yes. She relayed all that boring nonsense. I don’t care about any of that. I want to know what your secret is. How do you get my cousin to take walks and dance? I’ve been trying to get him to do those things for years, but he never listened to me.”
It took her a moment to realize that the secret he’d been referring to had nothing to do with Lord Holloway. Relieved, she laughed again. Good. Her brother hadn’t talked to him. “There’s no secret to it. Perry’s an easy gentleman to please.”
“We can’t be talking about the same person.”
“I assure you, we are.”
“I refuse to believe it. Perry has never been satisfied with any noble thing I’ve done. Well, no. I take that back. There is one thing—and only one thing—I’ve done that’s made him happy. I got married to an honorable young lady. Had it not been for that, he wouldn’t have seen fit to compliment me at all.”
“Maybe that’s because you look for ways to upset him.”
“I don’t look for ways to upset him,” he replied, his tone indignant though he smiled.
“I think you do, and what’s more, I think you enjoy watching him squirm. It’s quite wicked of you,” she teased. “You’d do well to pay him a compliment sometime.”
“But if I did that, his whole view of me might be shattered. For years, I gave him something important to do. He needed a wayward lad to mold into the image of a proper gentleman. Can you imagine how bored he would have been had I not given him something worthwhile to do? And now that I am married and cause no scandals, he can see the fruits of his labor. He really should thank me. I gave him a legacy he can be proud of.”
She giggled and shook her head. “You’re a hopeless cause, aren’t you?”
“I’d say not. I treat my wife very well. You can ask her if you want. She’s right over there.” He motioned to Agatha who was dancing with a gentleman Paula didn’t recognize.
“She looks bored to me.”
“Of course she is. I’m not with her.”
She laughed again. Christopher was an easy gentleman to like. Though she could understand Perry’s frustration with him from time to time, she also knew that Christopher had turned out to be the kind of gentleman he had hoped for, even with the mischievous side to him.
The music ended and she curtsied, still chuckling as he bid her good luck with Perry and went to Agatha. She turned to leave the dance floor so she could find Perry when someone cupped her elbow in his hand. Facing the gentleman, all the laughter died from her throat. After four years and being in London all Season, she didn’t think she’d ever see him again.
“It’s been a long time, Paula,” Daniel whispered.
It took her a moment to get over her shock. “Lord Holloway,” she forced out, glancing around them to see if Stewart was somewhere nearby, watching them. If her brother saw who she was talking to, he’d find another way to blackmail her.
“Can I have this dance?”
Returning her gaze to him, she said, “No.”
Then she hurried away from him, her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. After all this time, why did he have to come back into her life? She’d fought so hard to get over him and now that she’d succeeded, he showed up? It was like a horrible nightmare. First Stewart insisted on bringing up the past. And now this? Hadn’t she already served her penance for her sins?
She made it to a wall and whirled around to make sure Daniel hadn’t followed her. He hadn’t. Good. At least that was something. But he was in London, and he came to this ball tonight. She swallowed and leaned the back of her head against the wall. What was she supposed to do? She had no idea he’d be here. If she had known, she would have done anything she had to in order to convince Perry to stay in their townhouse instead.
She scanned the room in hopes of finding Perry, but too many people were in her way. She was going to have to venture back into the heart of the room to find him, and right now she didn’t want to chance Daniel catching up to her.
Why? Why did he even want to talk to her? He was the one who married someone else. He was the one who broke her heart. And now that she’d found someone much better—someone she loved more than she’d ever loved him—he stepped right back into her life to ruin it.
No. He wouldn’t ruin it. She wouldn’t let him. She was Perry’s wife. She’d do whatever it took to make sure no one separated them. Maybe she’d have to pay Daniel off like she was paying Stewart. Daniel had needed money. He’d needed it so much that he abandoned her on their way to Gretna Green four years ago. He’d married a wealthy duchess and secured his fortune.
Maybe he gambled the money away? Maybe he heard she married a wealthy gentleman and wanted some of it in exchange for his silence? Well, whatever he wanted, she’d pay it. Anything to get him to leave her in peace so she could be with Perry. Maybe she should confront him and offer him money. She’d find a way to come up with enough so he’d leave her alone.
Releasing her breath, she pushed away from the wall. She could do this. As she took a step forward, a familiar figure headed in her direction. Glancing at her brother, she grimaced. This wasn’t what she needed. Not now. Not when everything was crashing in all around her.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said when he reached her.
“Did you know Daniel is here?” she demanded, not putting it past him to know—and enjoy—such a thing.
“Daniel’s here? Really?”
He looked over his shoulder, so she stopped him. “Don’t draw attention to yourself.” Who knew which person was watching them? “So, you didn’t know he was here?”
“No. I haven’t seen him since you played mistress to him.”
Her cheeks burned from the admonition. “I wasn’t playing mistress.”
“You were sleeping with him without being married. I fail to see the difference.”
“He wasn’t married.”
“Oh, I stand corrected. You played the common whore.”
Fighting the urge to wince, she said, “Your point is noted. What do you think he’s doing here?”
“Probably dancing and talking to people, much like everyone else.”
She shouldn’t have been surprised by his answer. It was both sarcastic and practical, two things he seemed to blend quite well.
“I know what I want next,” he said.
“What?” She stopped scanning the ballroom for Daniel and turned her gaze to him.
“Our agreement. Don’t tell me you forgot it already.”
“I didn’t forget. I’m just distracted.”
“Want to make a rendezvous with an old flame?” he asked with a smirk.
“No,” she hissed. “I don’t want to ever see him again.”
Though he said, “All right,” he didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t care what you want or don’t want with him. I could use a new pocket watch.”
“A pocket watch?”
“Yes. My old one has worn out its use and I’d like a new one. Solid gold. Expensive. And this won’t have to be your husband’s. I want it brand new.”
“All right.”
“When you have it, come by for a visit and give it to me. There’s no need for your husband to know who you’re giving it to.”
She nodded and watched as he headed back into the crowded room. At least this time she didn’t have to make up a lie on what happened to another one of Perry’s things. That in itself was a blessing.
Tomorrow she’d get the pocket watch. Then maybe she and Perry could head out to the country the next day. If she ever needed to get out of London, now was the best time to do so. She took a deep breath before she wound her way through the group of people. She glanced around to see where Daniel was but she caught sight of Perry instead. He was laughing at something Nate was telling him. She watched him for a moment, studying the way he leaned on his cane, a carefree smile on his face, a bit of mirth in his eyes. How could she not love him? He was absolutely wonderful.
Deciding she’d rather not
deal with Daniel, she hurried over to Perry. When she reached his side, he turned serious. “Paula, is something wrong?”
Steadying her nerves, she slipped her arm around his. Neither Daniel nor Stewart would dare come over to her if she remained with him for the rest of the night. “No, I’m fine. I just missed you, that’s all. I hope you don’t mind that I came over here.”
He smiled and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. “I don’t mind.”
She relaxed. Good. All she had to do was stay with him and everything would be all right. At least for the rest of the night.
Chapter Fourteen
Perry wondered what had changed Paula’s mood. When they had arrived at the ball, she’d been relaxed and laughing. Then she came over to him and had been at his side for the past ten minutes, and if he guessed right, she had no intention of leaving him. On top of that, she had a worried look on her face and was standing closer to him than necessary. Granted, he didn’t know much about the way a lady’s mind worked, but he got the feeling that she was silently asking for his protection. If he had any idea what she needed protection from, he could go after the source of her worries.
“It can’t be good for any society when prices are kept higher than they need to be,” Nate said, drawing Perry’s attention back to their conversation about the recently passed Corn Laws. “Such a thing wouldn’t be an issue if the landowners weren’t so heavily represented in Parliament.”
“Maybe we should talk about this some other time,” Perry replied. While Paula had expressed an interest in the laws, he didn’t think that was her most pressing concern at the moment. “I think I’ll get a breath of fresh air. It’s awfully stuffy in here.”
As he expected, Nate got his hint and went off to find Claire.
Turning to Paula who seemed to be unusually interested in the people attending the ball, he asked, “Would you like to step out on the veranda?”
It took a moment before she looked at him. “What?”
“I asked if you would like to step out on the veranda for a while?” She nodded so he took her by the elbow and escorted her outside, remembering too late that the air was a little chilly. “I should get your shawl.”
“No, I’m fine. Actually, I’m a little warm from being in there. The cool air is refreshing.”
He frowned, not sure whether to believe her. While he wore a frock coat, her short sleeves didn’t offer much protection, and if he was right, she slightly shivered. “Well, I’d feel better if you had something else on.” He slipped off his frock coat and put it over her shoulders.
“Thank you.”
Satisfied when he saw that she didn’t seem to be shivering anymore, he led her to the bench and sat beside her. “Paula, is something bothering you?”
“No, of course not.” Letting out an uneasy laugh, she glanced over her shoulder then kissed him. “We met this way, you know.”
He debated whether or not he should press her to tell him what was upsetting her. There was no denying that she was preoccupied, and whatever preoccupied her thoughts had nothing to do with him. More than anything, he wanted to help her—to ease her fears—but he wasn’t sure how to do it if she didn’t want to open up to him. After a long moment, he decided he wouldn’t force her to tell him. When she was ready, she’d say something. He was sure of it. In the meantime, he could reassure her that she was safe with him.
“Paula,” he took her hand in his, “the day we met was the best day of my life. Every day I’m thankful for you. I hope you know that you can trust me with anything.”
Her gaze lowered to his hand. “When I was a child, my mother told me stories about princes coming to rescue a young lady. In these stories, the princes were always brave and kind.” Her eyes met his and she smiled. “I never thought such gentlemen existed before I met you.”
He sensed something underlying her words but had no idea what that might be.
She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time letting her lips linger on his. Given the privacy afforded them in the moment, he responded to her. It was reminiscent of the first time she kissed him, except this time he wasn’t too shocked to enjoy it.
Reluctant, he ended the kiss. “Would you like to talk to Claire, Catherine or Agatha? They’re all here this evening. I’m sure they’d love to see you.”
“I just want to be with you. Is that all right?”
“Paula, that’s always all right. I love having you with me. I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t have some friends. Ever since we met, I’ve heard no mention of your friends. I know about your brother, but certainly, he isn’t the only person you know.”
“Of course not. I know other people.”
The way she laughed did little to assure him of this. For the first time since he met her, he wondered what her life had been like before they married. He had the nagging suspicion that she’d been sheltered for a great part of her life, that her world had been very limited until she came to London. “Paula,” he began, running his thumb along the top of her hand, “when did you come to London? I don’t recall seeing you at any of the balls until the night we met. You’re so beautiful, I don’t think I would have missed you if you’d attended one of them over the past four years.”
“You’ve been to every ball?”
“Maybe not every single one but most of them, yes. And I noticed you as soon as you entered the ball, before my cousin introduced us. You were the most attractive lady in the room, and my first thought was that you were either married or a widow because you were older than a lady in her first Season.”
“You noticed me but you didn’t introduce yourself?” she teased.
“I didn’t think there was anyway you’d consider me. No one was more surprised than I was when you kissed me.”
She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her breasts pressing nicely against him. “Will you kiss me this time?”
Despite the heat rising up in his cheeks, he realized it’d please her if he did so he lowered his head and brushed her lips with his.
“Is that it?” she asked.
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “I don’t know how much longer we’ll be alone out here. As it is, we’ve pressed our luck.”
She glanced at the door and, unwittingly, his gaze followed hers. “No one is watching us,” she whispered.
He turned his head in her direction, ready to suggest it’d be safer to wait until they were at home, but she brought her mouth to his and quieted all thoughts of protest. While he was hesitant to act on his desire for her in a place where they might be caught, he sensed there was something she needed from him, something that couldn’t be expressed by mere words. And that being the case, she required more than a simple kiss.
He enveloped her in his arms and drew her closer to him. At once, he noticed the way she relaxed. Encouraged, he traced her bottom lip with his tongue, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. As he suspected, she opened her mouth to receive him. It’d be easy to lose himself in the moment, to think only of the physical pleasure of what they were doing. But another part of him was too busy piecing parts of the puzzle together.
Something happened with her brother, and whatever that something was, it made her seek out his protection, to make sure he hadn’t changed his mind about loving her. The question, of course, was why. Until then, he couldn’t get to the root of the problem. And unless he got to the root of the problem, he couldn’t resolve it.
When their kiss ended, he cupped her face in his hands and studied her expression, picking out any clues he could find there. But all traces of her earlier anxiety had been replaced by twinkling eyes and a beautiful smile that lit up her face. He didn’t know what difference a kiss should make, but it had been enough to wash away her worries.
Gently brushing her cheeks which were no longer pale, he whispered, “I love you, Paula, and there’s nothing that will ever change that.”
Then, because his touch and kiss had been the balm for her soul
, he lowered his head and brought his lips back to hers. If someone came out and saw them, then so be it. Some things were more important than fretting over what others thought. Having given himself full permission to enjoy the moment, he finally lost himself in their kiss, and it wasn’t until they were both out of breath that he pulled away from her.
He studied her expression again. Yes, the fact that he touched and kissed her definitely made her feel loved. Why hadn’t he realized it before? All this time, he’d assumed that she only needed to hear the words to understand the depth of his feelings for her, and while he didn’t doubt the words were important, the physical demonstration of his love was much more profound. So all the times he’d been holding back and waiting for her to initiate their lovemaking hadn’t been necessary. He could have been more assertive. If he guessed right, she would prefer that. And really, hadn’t she suggested he touch her breasts that evening in the drawing room?
He glanced at the doors, still assured no one was watching them. “Perhaps we ought to go home.”
Despite the flicker of relief that crossed her face, she asked, “Are you sure? I know you wanted to talk to Nate.”
“I can talk to him some other time. I’ll invite him to a game of chess. Right now, I’d rather be with you.” Retrieving his cane, he rose to his feet then held his hand out to her. “Would you be willing to leave everyone else and come home with me?”
Her lips curled up as she took his hand and stood up. “I’d go anywhere with you, Perry.”
“You’re the only lady I’ll ever be with.”
Her eyes shined with unshed tears. “I know. You’re such an honorable and good gentleman. The best there is. I…”
As her words drifted off, he wondered what she stopped herself from saying. He waited for a moment, giving her time to continue, but when he realized she wouldn’t, he kissed her. “When you’re ready, you can tell me,” he whispered.
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