Chapter Nineteen
Paula bolted for the door.
Daniel darted in front of her and shut it. “It’s been a long time.”
“Not long enough. Get out of my way. I must go to my husband at once.”
“And I must get to my wife…eventually.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. She struggled to get away from him, but he pinned her against the door and shot her that devilish smile that used to make her weak in the knees. “It’s all right. No one will interrupt us.” He reached behind her waist and clicked the lock. Then he lowered his head and kissed her neck.
“I’m not interested.” Her cheeks burned with a mixture of rage and humiliation. No one had the right to kiss or touch her but Perry.
“Oh, Paulie, don’t be like that,” Daniel whispered in a soothing voice that had once sent chills of delight running up and down her spine.
“I told you I hate that nickname. My name is Paula.” She swatted his hand away when he reached out to touch her cheek. “Leave me alone.” She glanced around the room to make sure no one could see them. If anyone caught them together, she’d never live it down.
“If you’re worried someone will catch us, you have no need to worry. I chose a very discrete place.”
“I don’t want to be with you. How hard is that for you to understand?”
She tried to push him away, but he used his body to hold her in place. “I remember a time when you sought me out. You remember that, don’t you? Four years ago, I’d come to that little cottage you and your mother lived in, and I’d sneak in to your room at night. Then there was that time in my carriage when I slipped my hand beneath your dress and realized you weren’t wearing anything. We found many pleasant ways to be together.”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to remember any of it. Even now, it made her sick to her stomach to think of how often she’d blindly gave herself to him, not realizing the heartache she’d endure when she woke up one morning to find a note telling her he decided to marry the Duchess of Breckman because he needed the money. She’d been so devastated all she could do was cry in bed for two months, refusing to let anyone console her. At that time, her mother had sent for her brother and it was up to him to cover up her sins so that he could take her to London to find a suitable husband.
“You can’t tell me that you don’t think of me and how much we meant to each other,” Daniel continued.
“I was young and stupid. I should have known a titled gentleman would never marry someone who had no money or a family name. You knew that and you took advantage of it.”
“Yes, I did know that, but I loved you and wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you. There’s no reason we can’t be lovers. We’ll be discrete. No one has to know. Paula, I never stopped loving you. In all these years, I’ve often dreamt of being with you again. I only married my wife because she was wealthy.” He traced the curve of her back and cupped her behind in his hands, pressing her intimately against him so that she could feel his erection. “I didn’t want to leave you that morning we were supposed to get married.”
“But you did,” she hissed and finally succeeded in pushing him far enough so that there was some space between them. “You used me and threw me away when you were through.” She shoved him away again and he finally relented. Relieved, she unlocked the door. “If you had really loved me, you would have given up whatever it took to be with me.”
“It wasn’t that easy.”
“For you, it wasn’t. But for me, it is. I love Perry, and I will never share my bed with anyone but him.”
She hurried out of the room before he could respond and rushed down the corridor until she found the ballroom. She stopped outside the door and scanned the room to be sure no one would notice her slip into it. The last thing she needed was for someone to see her and start rumors that would hurt Perry.
Glancing over her shoulder to make sure Daniel hadn’t followed her, she slipped into the room, edging her way along the wall. Once she found a group of people who were too busy talking to each other to notice her, she bypassed them and stepped further into the room.
When she found Perry, he was talking to her brother. Her steps slowed. What was her brother doing? He promised her that he wouldn’t tell Perry anything about her past as long as she gave him whatever he wanted, and up to now, she’d been diligent about meeting his demands. She’d even snuck off to another room to give him the money he asked for. And how did he repay her? Did he know that Daniel would be waiting for her? Were the two of them conspiring against her?
Perry glanced in her direction, and she hesitated to proceed further until he smiled in that way of his that let her know he still loved her. Relieved, she picked up her pace.
When she reached his side, he gently touched her elbow in a reassuring manner that further relaxed her. “Your brother was telling me you used to play the piano when you were a child.”
She glanced at Stewart who, if she understood right, was smirking at her. So he had arranged for her and Daniel to be alone together. Did it really please him to see her in such a perilous situation where she could have been caught? No one would believe nothing happened between her and Daniel if they’d caught them. Her brother had to have known that.
“If you enjoy the piano, I can get one,” Perry told her.
She shifted closer to him. “No. I didn’t like it. My mother insisted I play it.”
“Really? You didn’t enjoy it?” her brother asked. “I thought you did since every time I came by for a visit, you were playing it.”
“There was little else to do in the country,” she replied.
“Ah, I understand. It’s a good thing you and Mother received a visitor from time to time to ease away the boredom.”
She stiffened at his meaning. They both knew exactly which visitor he was referring to. “I don’t miss receiving a visitor,” she told him, hoping he’d understand that he was to never arrange it so that she and Daniel were alone again. She turned her attention back to Perry. “Can we go home now?”
“Of course.”
Her brother cleared his throat.
“Will you give me a moment with my brother?” she asked.
He nodded and motioned to the doorway. “I’ll wait for you over there.”
“I won’t be but a minute.” After he left them, she focused on her brother. “The next time you tell me to meet you, you’d better be there.”
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Well, that’s gratitude for you. I thought you’d be pleased to see Daniel.”
“Well, I wasn’t.”
“It’s not uncommon for a countess to take a lover,” he said in a lower voice.
“I don’t care what other countesses do. I will not betray Perry that way. It’s bad enough I’m stealing things for you. I will not add adultery to my list of sins.”
He chuckled. “What you do or don’t do in your spare time is none of my concern. I only care about whether or not you bring me what I want. Now, did you bring it?”
“Yes. It’s all there.” She slipped him the money from the finger purse, hoping no one else noticed. From where Perry stood, he didn’t seem to be watching them.
“Good. Now, I’ll let you get back to the doting husband.”
Relieved, she went over to Perry, barely noticing the other people in the room.
When she reached him, he asked, “Are you feeling all right?”
She took him by the arm and led him out of the ballroom. “I’m fine. I just want to go home with you.”
She’d never been so glad to get into a carriage as she was that night. Seeing Daniel and finding out Stewart arranged the meeting were too much to handle for one evening. What she wanted, more than anything, was to be with Perry in bed and stay there for the rest of her life.
As the carriage made its way down the street, Perry put his arm around her shoulders and drew her close. She rested her head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his solid presence. Tears filled her eyes but
she blinked them away so he wouldn’t realize she wanted to cry.
There were things she wanted to say, things she didn’t dare, and things she was too afraid to reveal. The evening had been a trying one. She kept hoping things would get easier, that the weight of her guilt wouldn’t get in the way of her newfound happiness. But happiness was such a fleeting thing when the world crept in to destroy it.
“Paula, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you,” he whispered, rubbing her back in gentle circular motions.
She swallowed the lump in her throat then waited until he wouldn’t hear the sound of tears in her voice. “I just want to know you still love me.”
“There isn’t anything you will do that will make me stop loving you.”
A tear slid down her cheek. If only he knew how wrong he was.
Chapter Twenty
Paula pushed aside the green drapes in the drawing room and examined the landscape. She and Perry had arrived at Blackburn after sunset the previous evening so she didn’t get a good view of it. But now as she scanned the rows of trees with their changing colors, the large stable, and the quaint gazebo, she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She was the countess of this estate? Never did she think she would be the mistress of anything so grand. And better yet, her brother was far away in London. She could spend the next few months free of him.
“I hope you approve.”
She turned in time to see Perry enter the room. With a smile, she motioned to the grounds. “It’s lovely. I feel like I’m in an enchanted world.”
“It’s enchanting because you’re here.”
Letting the drapes fall back in place, she shook her head and approached him. “Come now. It’s always been beautiful out here.”
“It might’ve been beautiful, but it was a lonely place.”
“Even when Christopher was here to create mischief?”
He chuckled at her joke. “He made things interesting in London. When he was here, he grew restless. He spent a lot of time reading or running off to visit his friend.”
“Lord Edon? The one I met at the dinner party?”
He nodded.
Unable to resist the inquiry, she asked, “Did they create mischief together?”
“Actually, I don’t know what they were up to, but I’m sure whatever it was, it wasn’t good.”
“Admit it.”
“Admit what?”
“Even though Christopher says things to get a response from you, you missed him when he wasn’t here.”
“I won’t deny it,” he consented with a slight shrug. “But the scenery is certainly better with you here instead.”
Her smile widened. “Since you put it that way…” She closed the gap between them and kissed him.
“I get a kiss just for saying that?”
“Yes, you do.”
“What would I get if I took you for a walk?”
“Take me and find out.”
“Sounds like an intriguing proposition.”
“It is, but only if you’re willing to do it.”
“Well then, it’ll be a good time to show you more of the grounds,” he said as he went to the wall and pulled a cord. “It’d be more practical if we went for a horse ride, though. We’ll cover a lot more ground that way.”
“Maybe but it won’t be as fun.”
His eyebrows rose. “And a walk is?”
“I’d say yes, considering what will happen.”
“Now I have to find out what you have in mind.”
Chuckling, she led him to the entryway where he slipped into his coat and hat and she put on her hooded cloak. Once they were outside, she snuggled up to him, surprised when he slowed his steps.
“What is it?” she asked. “Did you forget something?”
“No. I…” He glanced around them. “Are you sure we should be this close out here?”
“You’re only warming me up.”
“I know but what if someone sees us?”
Laughing, she wrapped her arm around his waist and gave him a light squeeze. “You worry too much. We’re only walking. We’re married. And besides all that, we’re in the country. You needn’t be so uptight out here.”
He frowned. “You think I’m uptight?”
“You’re a wonderful gentleman, Perry. But from time to time,” she reached for his cane and took it, “it wouldn’t hurt if you worried less about what others thought. Just enjoy the moment.” She slipped the cane under her arm. “Lean on me. I’ll get you to where we’re going.”
After a moment, he laughed. “You’re right. I shouldn’t spend so much time worrying about others. What’s important is that you’re satisfied with me.”
“I’m more than satisfied with you. I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone but you.” And she felt that way even more after seeing Daniel again. Though she wouldn’t have believed it the morning he left her, she was grateful that he made the choice to return to London to marry someone else. She wouldn’t have been able to marry Perry otherwise. “You once said that you were glad it didn’t work out with the other ladies in your past. I’m glad it didn’t, too.” Pausing, she turned to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you.”
Cupping her face in his hands, he lowered his head and caressed her lips with his. The action was so sweet and gentle that she couldn’t help but melt in his arms. When he ended the kiss, he smiled at her. “The important thing is, we’re happy.”
“I’ve never been happier.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer as he led her down the path. “So, where would you like to go?”
“The gazebo.”
“As my lady wishes it, it shall be.”
She giggled. “You’re ever the nobleman, Perry.”
They continued on their stroll in a comfortable silence. When they reached it, she placed his cane next to the bench and encouraged him to sit beside her.
“I’ll give you the cane back when we leave. I promise,” she added when he stared at it. “It’s safe on my side of the bench.”
“I’ve gotten so used to putting it next to me. It’s almost a part of who I am.”
“I know. I won’t let anything bad happen to it.”
He settled beside her and brought his arms around her. “It’s not just for show. Christopher thinks it is. He says I used it as an excuse to explain why I couldn’t secure a wife. Some ladies didn’t like the fact that I had it.”
“I don’t mind that you have a cane, Perry. You’re dignified whether you use it or not.”
“Oh, I know you don’t mind. And I appreciate that. What Christopher doesn’t understand is that it helps me walk. My knees and ankles feel better. I have some padding in the shoe of my shorter leg, but the cane provides extra support that I’ve grown accustomed to. It also makes me feel more comfortable around people. In some ways, it’s a form of security.”
“I understand.” She snuggled up to him. “And if a lady is so petty that she’s going to reject you because you have a cane, then she’s not worth your attention.”
“Would you think less of me if I confessed that was one of the reasons I pointed it out to each lady I met?”
“No,” she whispered. “In fact, I think that was a wise move. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who can’t love you for who you are.”
“Of all the people I’ve known, you’re the only one who truly understands me.”
Touched and honored he should compliment her so highly, she kissed him again, this time letting her lips linger on his. When the kiss ended, she shot him a wicked smile. “You know that thing I promised you if we went for a walk?”
Returning her smile, he said, “Is it time to go back inside so you can show me?”
“No.” She unbuttoned his Carrick coat. “I’m going to do it out here.”
Clearing his throat, he glanced behind them at the manor. “What are you going to do?”
“Relax. No one can se
e what we’re doing. We’re too far from them. And,” she continued when he started to protest, “our backs are to them.” She took off her gloves then brought her hands to his trousers and undid the buttons. “For all they know, we’re merely talking.”
Before he could respond—and possibly stop her—she leaned toward him and kissed him again, this time brushing her tongue along his lower lip. Up to now, she’d wanted to do something highly improper with him and thought he’d most enjoy this. Her tongue interlaced with his in an attempt to distract him while she slid her hand inside his drawers.
He let in a sharp breath and pulled slightly away from her. “I don’t know if we should do this.” He glanced behind them. “Out here.”
Grinning, she traced his erection, an action which made him shiver in pleasure. “I think there’s a part of you that wants me to continue,” she whispered.
Then, before he could respond, she kissed him again, this time more passionately. Her heart raced in excitement as she lightly touched the tip and ran her fingers down his shaft. It was an intoxicating experience to explore him so openly, to offer him pleasure while they were fully clothed. And she suspected this just might become one of his favorite activities if he’d ever learn to get over his shyness.
She wrapped her hand around him and lightly squeezed him. Her hand went to the base of his shaft, came swiftly up to his tip and then back down again. He brought his hand down over hers and for a moment, she thought he was going to pull her hand away but then he groaned and tightened her grip.
“You’ll like where this is going,” she whispered and proceeded to stroke him.
He glanced at her and let out another moan. “I have no doubt about that.”
Then he closed his eyes and released her hand, giving her full reign over his body. So he hadn’t been hard to convince. That was good. She suspected they could have a lot of fun in the carriage the next day.
She continued her ministrations, slowly increasing the pressure and speed of her movements, taking a wicked delight in the gradual build of tension that would eventually result in his climax. He wiggled beneath her and his hips rocked along with her strokes. Leaning forward, she kissed his neck and then traced his ear with her tongue. When she realized this heightened his pleasure, she continued to do it. His arm tightened around her shoulders and he murmured her name until he grew taut and his seed poured over her hand.
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