“I’m sure any brother in your position would feel the same way.” Or at least should feel the same way.
Whether either Paula or Stewart were aware of it or not, the last couple days had opened Perry’s eyes to many things. He never realized just how things must have been for Christopher before he became Perry’s ward. His parents often claimed they needed some money to help take care of their son, and Perry—fool that he was—didn’t hesitate to give them whatever they wanted.
Later, he found out they were using that money on themselves, not for their son. Christopher didn’t know this, and Perry knew he wouldn’t like to find out his parents had used him as a way to enjoy their lavish lifestyle. But what hadn’t occurred to Perry, up until now, was that Christopher must have felt unloved for many years.
No wonder he acted the way he did. Always getting into trouble. It was the only time his parents gave him any attention. And Perry, in not understanding this, had done the same thing. Perhaps if he’d spent more time appreciating Christopher when he did something good, he wouldn’t have gotten into as much trouble as he did.
“Tell me, what is your secret?” Stewart asked.
Perry broke out of his thoughts and turned his attention back to Paula’s brother. “What secret?”
“How you managed so well. I’ve met other earls and I can’t think of one who has done as well as you.”
“You mean, how did I acquire so much money?”
He nodded.
“Simple. I’m generous with what I have.”
Stewart waited for a moment then laughed. “Certainly, it can’t be that easy.”
“I can’t be reckless with money. I don’t participate in the gambling hells or waste money on mistresses. But I do help people who need it, especially those I care about.”
“You loan them money and reap the interest?”
“No. I give it.”
“Give it? Without expecting anything in return?”
Noting the disbelief in Stewart’s tone, he nodded. “It’s not a gift if you expect something in return.”
“Wouldn’t you end up losing everything if you keep doing that all the time?”
“Not if you’re careful about who you give it to.”
“Ah,” Stewart replied.
“The point is,” Perry continued as the stable came into view, “I’ve learned long ago that a generous person who is wise will never lack for anything.” Not that he expected Stewart to take the advice to heart, but now Stewart could never claim he didn’t try to help him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Paula stared at her brother as he played chess with Perry. Perhaps it’d been a bad idea to sit by the fire and try to read a book. She had a hard time not wanting to break down and cry or scream in frustration. Most of the time, she retreated to her bedchamber. But she’d been hiding for most of the seven days her brother had been there and was tired of it. What she really wanted was to be close to Perry. And unfortunately, to do that, she had to see her brother.
At the moment, Perry was explaining why Napoleon lost at Waterloo. Stewart did a lot of nodding and agreed with everything Perry said.
“Napoleon wasn’t prepared,” Perry concluded as he moved his pawn across the board. “I suspect he thought he was invincible. Once that happens, people are inevitably bound to fail.”
“What an astute observation,” Stewart commended then moved his own pawn. “I didn’t see how he could keep winning all the time.”
Paula gritted her teeth and forced her eyes back on the book in her lap. Her brother had no interest in politics—or chess. He was flattering Perry with the same sickening sweetness that he used on the Duke of Leavenshire. No wonder it was hard to eat whenever he was around. Her stomach growled, but she just couldn’t swallow much. And it only got worse with each passing day. She could feel the tension building up inside her and worried she wasn’t going to make it another week before she snapped.
Coming down here was a bad idea. She should get to the safety of her bedchamber. She got ready to shut the book when Perry approached her.
“I need to tend to personal business. I won’t be long,” he said.
She indicated she understood. Too bad she didn’t think to leave before he left. Now she had to be alone with her brother.
Stewart stood up and walked over to the decanter. “Am I right to assume you’ve been avoiding me?”
“You’re not here to see me, so what do you care?”
“Come now, Paula. You mustn’t be so harsh.”
Despite her better judgment, she turned to face him as he settled back into the chair. “Harsh? You’ve been blackmailing me.”
He waved his hand dismissively. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not going to require you to give me money for my silence anymore.”
Hardly daring to believe her ears, she stood up and went over to him so she could make sure he wasn’t joking. “You’re not?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Why did you suddenly have a change of heart?”
“A gentleman can live like a king in this place. Your husband has more money than he’ll ever use. The last thing I want to do is ruin it for you. If I ruin it for you, I’ll ruin it for me.” He drank the brandy and winked. “Your husband is the greatest friend I ever had.”
She frowned. “You think he’s boring. I can tell by the way you try not to yawn when he talks.”
“My dear sister, he can be as boring as he wants when he has all this.” He motioned to the room then picked up a scone from the tray by the small table next to him. “I will do everything I can to make sure Perry never finds out about your past. And as it turns out, I don’t need you to get money. When we went horse riding earlier this week, he told me he likes to give money to family and friends. And when I say ‘give’, I mean he won’t expect me to pay it back.”
It took a moment for his meaning to dawn on her. “You’re going to ask him for money?”
“A mere two-hundred pounds. He won’t even miss it.”
“But you won’t stop at two-hundred pounds. You’ll demand more.”
“I won’t demand, Paula.” He bit into his scone and swallowed it before taking a sip of his brandy. “I don’t have to demand anything. That’s the beauty of this whole thing. You married him, which immediately brings me into his good graces. All I have to do is pretend to like him and he’ll give me what I ask for. And better yet, I’ll get to come by for visits and be treated like a king. I’m telling you, Paula, you married the best gentleman possible.”
She clenched the book in her hands. “You’re going to use him.”
He grimaced. “That’s such an unpleasant way of putting it.”
“Then how would you say it?”
“I am going to enable him to get more money by letting him give me money.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know, but it’s what he says he does and I’ll go along with it.”
She doubted Perry came out and said it like that, but since she hadn’t heard the conversation, she couldn’t effectively argue the point.
“Did I miss anything interesting?” Perry asked from behind her.
She spun around in time to see him entering the room. She opened her mouth to tell Perry what they’d been discussing but saw the way her brother’s eyebrows rose and thought better of it.
“I was just telling my sister that it’s wonderful you two have a love match,” Stewart finally said. “You don’t often hear of such marriages anymore.”
“No, you don’t.” Perry turned to her and smiled. “Which is why I’m a fortunate gentleman.”
“It’s good to see someone who knows my sister’s worth.”
“I need to go,” she mumbled and hurried out of the room, ignoring Perry as he called for her.
If she stayed any longer, she was going to throw up. She just knew it. It’d been a terrible mistake to join Perry and Stewart. Lifting her skirt, she raced up the stairs and didn�
�t stop until she was back in the comfort and safety of her bedchamber. And her tears were already falling by the time she slammed the door.
***
That evening, Paula decided to go without dinner. Instead, she sat in front of her vanity, dressed in one of the beautiful gowns Perry had bought her. When she looked at her reflection, she saw the lady he created: someone lovely, someone honest, someone true. But it was all a charade, and she couldn’t go to the dining room and act as if everything was all right.
A tear slid down her cheek. No matter how much her brother acquired, he always wanted more, and in his whole entire life, he was never satisfied. No matter how much he got. Their father had left a sizable inheritance upon his death, and though Stewart was instructed to leave Paula and their mother a decent monthly allowance, they barely saw enough to get them through. He wasn’t hurting for money. He was living comfortably and could for the rest of his life. But it just wasn’t good enough.
Her hands shook and more tears fell. The only way to protect Perry was to tell him about Lord Holloway. Once she did, her brother wouldn’t be able to use Perry. She had no choice.
Perry was going to hate her. Not only did she have a tainted past, but she’d lied and stolen from him. She brought the handkerchief up to her face and wiped her eyes, but it was no use. She couldn’t stop crying, and the more she tried to stop, the faster the tears came.
Even in his disappointment, he’d be kind. He’d probably find her a cottage to spend the rest of her life in and, unlike Stewart, he would make sure she had enough of an allowance to live comfortably. But she’d be away from him. He wouldn’t hold her or kiss her anymore. He wouldn’t come to her bed to make love to her. She’d have to live without his love.
She was such a fool to think her past wouldn’t catch up to her—to think that she could have any kind of future with someone like Perry. She should have run off before they reached Gretna Green. She could have spared herself and Perry so much pain.
A light tapping on the door of her bedchamber made her temporarily stop crying. She stood up and walked to the door. After a shaky breath, she managed, “Perry?” But then it occurred to her that Perry would use the door connecting their bedchambers, not the one that led to the hallway.
“My lady,” her lady’s maid began, “I came to tell you that Mister Robinson and his wife have arrived.”
Mister Robinson? Oh, Christopher! “I’ll be down shortly,” she called out.
“Do you want me to help you, my lady?”
“No, I’m fine.”
She went to the basin and poured water in it then washed her face. The water felt cold against her hot cheeks. Looking in the mirror, she realized everyone would be able to tell she’d been crying. Her blotchy red cheeks and puffy eyes weren’t going to go away for at least a half hour.
Her first thought was to make up some excuse and wait until no one could see she’d been crying to come down, but that would be another lie and she was tired of lying. She’d just have to go down there and face everyone. Pulling a new handkerchief out of her vanity drawer, she wiped her face again then left the room.
***
“We would have waited for an invitation if we believed one was coming,” Christopher said as he stepped out of the carriage.
Perry glanced over his shoulder to see if Stewart or Paula had come outside to greet his cousin and wife, but the stairs leading up to the manor were still vacant. Turning his attention to Agatha as Christopher helped her out, he bowed a greeting. “I’m glad to see you. And,” glancing at Christopher, “you, too.”
Christopher looked around then pointed to himself. “You mean me?”
On impulse, Perry decided to do something he hadn’t done since Christopher’s parents died. He hugged him.
Christopher pulled away from him. “Are you dying?”
“Of course not. I’m just happy to see you.”
“We need to get a doctor,” Christopher told Agatha.
Laughing, Perry patted him on the shoulder. “I don’t need a doctor. I’m doing fine. I was going to ask you to come visit. Having you here will be good.”
“All right. Who are you and what did you do with Perry?”
“Just be glad he’s happy to see you,” Agatha told Christopher and smiled at Perry. “I take it things are going well with Paula.”
“They are. I can’t remember a time when I’ve been happier,” Perry replied.
“I don’t think your wife would agree with you,” Christopher muttered in Perry’s ear.
Perry leaned on his cane as he turned to the stairs, surprised when he saw that Paula had been crying. He thought she and Stewart had an argument while they were alone earlier that day, but he didn’t realize it upset her so much that she cried. Why didn’t he think to have the butler go in with something to eat? Having someone else in the room would have prevented them from talking about anything personal.
“Why do you constantly resist reading that book?” Christopher whispered, his tone indicating his surprise.
Leave it to Christopher to assume Paula was crying because she wasn’t satisfied in bed. Sighing, Perry glared at him. “This has nothing to do with the book. I’ll explain later.”
“Paula,” Agatha said as she hurried over to her, “what’s wrong?”
Stewart chose that moment to glide down the steps as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “I hear we have more guests.”
Christopher glanced from Paula to Stewart, his eyes growing wide.
“Christopher, this is Paula’s brother, Stewart Leighton.”
“Yes,” Christopher slowly said, “I remember him.”
Right. Christopher was there to cheer Paula on for her quick thinking when she managed to avoid having to talk to her brother at the ball where they met. “He wished to congratulate Paula and me on our marriage so I wanted to invite him for a visit.”
Christopher’s gaze went back to Paula. “I see.”
Perry had to hand it to Christopher. He was quickly figuring out that she was crying because of her brother. And that might make it easier to pin Stewart down.
Agatha wrapped her arm around Paula’s and led her back inside, talking to her in low, soothing tones. It was definitely good that Christopher and Agatha had arrived. Paula needed a lady she could confide in, and being a lady, Agatha would have a better way of comforting her than Perry did. Perry had tried everything but it wasn’t enough.
Perry motioned to Christopher and told Stewart, “This is my cousin, Christopher Robinson. His wife, Agatha, went inside with Paula.”
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Stewart greeted. “I’m afraid we weren’t properly introduced the first time we saw each other.”
Christopher offered a nod. “How long will you be staying?”
“Only a week. I don’t want to wear out my welcome.”
“That’s probably a good idea. There’s only so much chess a gentleman can take.”
Perry chuckled. “Christopher, you’re a decent player when you choose to be.”
He grimaced. “Chess is boring.”
“I’m surprised you think so when you’re so good at strategy.”
Christopher’s jaw dropped, and Perry hid the urge to grin. He had no idea that complimenting his cousin would startle him so much.
“Well,” Perry continued as he motioned to the entrance where the footman waited for them, “dinner will be served soon.” Then he led them inside.
***
“I don’t think the gentlemen will mind that we decided to eat up here,” Agatha said as the maid set their dinner on the table in Paula’s bedchamber. Once they were alone, she sat across from Paula and smiled. “Besides, after the long ride with Christopher, it’s nice to have another lady to talk to.”
“Did Christopher bore you?” Paula asked as she slowly took a cloth napkin and spread it over her lap.
“Hardly. But he refused to keep his hands off of me.”
Paula looked at Agatha
to see whether or not she was jesting, but Agatha didn’t strike her as the type of person to make such jokes.
“Not that I mind being touched by my husband,” Agatha added. “But he was trying to get me to do it in the carriage, and there’s no way that’s happening.”
“Do it? You mean…it?”
She nodded as she buttered a roll. “I might be willing to try some new things, but I don’t want to be in the middle of a passionate moment when the carriage hits a large hole in the road. I don’t care what he thinks. That would be very uncomfortable.”
The carriage wasn’t the best place, but there was no way Paula would explain why she knew that. “If Christopher puts up a fuss about it, just tell him the anticipation will make it even better when you finally do it in a place that’s more comfortable.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” She gestured to the food in front of them. “Won’t you have something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.” To her irritation, her stomach growled, betraying her.
“You mean you don’t have an appetite?”
“Yes.”
Agatha finished her roll and wiped her mouth with her napkin before setting it back on her lap. “I’m a private person. If something bothers me, I tend to keep it inside. So I understand if you would rather not talk about anything that’s bothering you. But I want you to know that if you need to talk, I’m a good listener who can keep a secret.”
Paula lowered her gaze to the napkin and ran her fingers along the edges of it. While it was tempting to confide in a lady, it wouldn’t be fair to Perry. He was the one she had to tell, and she wouldn’t shame him by telling another person. “I can’t.”
“All right.” With a sympathetic smile, she asked, “Is there anything you would like to discuss?”
Relieved Agatha wasn’t going to press her for more information, she picked up her spoon and dipped it in the soup. Maybe she could eat something light. “Well…um…why did you and Christopher come here?”
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