Chapter Twenty Three
The car was moving again before I regained consciousness. By the time I sat up, we were pulling into our driveway.
“Awwww, I wanted to meet Mr. Jansen,” I complained as I yawned and stretched in the car.
My words sounded all mushy because I was still sleepy. The internal fire continued to blaze on and on.
“I promise you’ll get to meet him tomorrow. We’re kind of pushed for time today and I figured that you’d like to be at least semi-clean before you met him – it was just a guess though,” Tray stated, casually.
“Oh my, Holy Creator help me! How could you let me sleep like this, Tray?? I’ll never get clean again, ever. Your sweatshirt, jacket and even the blanket have to go right into the trash can because it’s not like I can get them clean either. Oh my heavens, I’ll never find myself again under all this filth…” I shouted and ran as fast as I could toward the closest shower.
I would have to scrub the top layer of my skin off because I couldn’t live with myself feeling grimy. My reflection in the bathroom mirror provided proof that I was located in the middle of an Ember-specific-Hades. My mascara was streaked all the way down to my chin. My lipstick had managed to somehow smudge upward although I was sure that was violating all the known laws of cosmetic physics. It appeared that every inch of my skin had gotten dirty – even my stomach. Dead leaves were tangled in my hair. I was a mess from head-to-toe.
I showered until there was no hot water left. Then I stood under a cold stream until I couldn’t feel my extremities anymore. I had scrubbed with every washcloth we own, but I still didn’t feel clean. Surrendering after thirty more minutes, I finally stepped out because I was shivering so badly. If I had stood in the frigid water much longer, my muscles would be frozen – regardless of my internal incinerator. Tray would hear me fall over and I would be helpless. This means he would be forced to come in here to rescue me. Neither one of us would live through that little scenario.
It was strange, but not even the icy water woke me up. In fact, it had made me feel even more exhausted. Looking in the mirror, I discovered that makeup has more endurance than a marathon runner on steroids. The skin on my face was red and angry by the time I managed to remove it.
I dressed in five layers of clothes instead of my pajamas. We still need to go cell phone shopping. I couldn’t talk my brother out of it – I was actually too exhausted to try, anyway. So I surrendered to the inevitable.
Tray was drinking coffee while sitting at the kitchen table. That wasn’t a good sign considering how late it was already. Caffeine works exactly as it should in his case. He will be awake for hours.
“You finally ready?” Tray asked me while downing the last of his warm beverage.
He didn’t wait on me to answer as he grabbed the car keys. We didn’t talk on the ride because I fell back asleep. My shower-quest to find myself under the filth had taken a long time. The store will be closing soon.
We were greeted by a young sale’s girl who seemed more than thrilled to be waiting on my handsome brother. I scanned the aisles and picked up several dummy phones – they all looked like variations of the same thing to me. Ebony stuck to Tray like a magnet and told him all about every phone in the store.
Tray selected two. His looked like a mini-computer and mine was thankfully, very simple. Ebony wasn’t even close to being finished chatting with him although the store was closed. She continued to talk about every imaginable detail and my mind boggled. Managing to finally interrupt her, he thanked her for the information and reminded her that the store was closed. She walked with us to the front and I thought she might just leave with us too.
“Ya’ know, um, I’m free after I clock out. I’d love to go get some coffee and tell you more – about your phone that is,” Ebony offered tentatively and blushed.
I admired her courage. It takes a tremendous amount of bravery to ask my brother out. She’s got guts! I wanted to applaud and cheer for all courageous women everywhere. Ebony at Best Buy is the freakin’ stuff tonight. I wanted to tell him that he should accept her invitation. She deserves some kind of reward for her bold move after all. She is also cute and appears to be his age.
“I’d love to, but my little sister here has school tomorrow. You could give me your number though, for later. You already have mine,” Tray offered her his phone and she punched her cell number into it.
Ebony giggled as she said goodnight and thanked us for shopping at Best Buy.
“That was sweet of you,” I told him once we were back in our car.
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” he replied.
Those words translated…he is planning to call her and tell her some gypsy-truth about having a girlfriend or whatever. At least he won’t lead her on or use her. My brother is probably the only honorable guy left in the world.
We stopped at a local restaurant to get some dinner. He asked the hostess to seat us in a private corner. After the waitress took our orders, Tray programmed our new cell phones. He stored every possible phone number he could be reached at in my phone. He even included the Jansens’ home number in case he walked inside their house. Then he made me practice retrieving the telephone numbers repeatedly. He wouldn’t let me stop until he was satisfied that I knew how to reach him.
I practically inhaled my dinner because I had not eaten since this morning. After finishing my meal, I was still hungry. Tray agreed to share a hot fudge cake with me and he called the waitress back over.
“We’d both like a slice of strawberry pie,” Tray ordered and I was stunned as I listened to his selections.
He is deathly allergic to strawberries and I have never liked the taste of them…
Did I shove him over the edge with my insanity??
I was going to loudly protest his decision, but he motioned for me to remain silent. Tray asked the waitress to repeat our dessert order before she left to get us two pieces of strawberry pie.
“Have I driven you over the brink?? You have a new death wish that I don’t know anything about? It’s important that you live to a ripe old age, so I won’t be permanently committed to the insane asylum!” I exclaimed.
“Please Ember, just wait and see what happens.”
I was frightened by his strange behavior, but I managed to shut up somehow. But, there is NO WAY I will let him eat a strawberry in front of me – words aren’t required to sling a dish across the restaurant.
His face was the picture of serenity. I sat there speechless and scared.
What exactly do you say to someone that’s acting more insane than the true psychotic girl at the table?
The waitress returned with six hot fudge cakes, piled sky high with whipped cream and six cherries placed on top. I stared at them, shocked and bewildered. My mind was having difficulties wrapping around my new loony reality.
“What is this?” I questioned, incredulously.
“Well, it’s the pie you ordered, Honey,” the waitress replied.
She was confused by my outburst and looked at ME like I was the delusional one. It was horrible to discover that my own psychosis must be contagious. Our waitress has lost it now.
“Would you rather have something else?” she questioned me and waited for my reply.
“I…” I started to respond by saying that I was perfectly fine, but she needed to get her head examined immediately.
“She’s fine with the strawberry pie and it looks delicious. Thanks,” Tray stated while I tried hopelessly to figure out what was happening.
“Oh, it is honey. I sliced yours from the same one I had earlier…” she stated and then winked at Tray.
She glanced once more in my direction and shook her head in confusion before she walked away.
“What’s all this? You know, I realize that I’ve been slightly psychotic lately, but even I know the difference between strawberry pie and hot fudge cake – especially SIX of them. Unless you te
ll me that you’re seeing strawberry pie too – in that case I need you to call an ambulance to take me away. I need to keep whatever’s left of my scrambled brain,” I practically shouted the last sentence, but not one patron even looked in my direction.
“You’re not seeing things, there are six hot fudge cakes sitting on the table. The point is, the waitress sees two pieces of strawberry pie,” Tray offered ridiculously.
I reached for my new cell phone to call an ambulance for us. We both need matching straitjackets and padded rooms to keep us safe.
“Oh yeah, sure, I get it now,” I replied sarcastically, fumbling with my phone.
“I’ll explain as soon as you put your phone away and you lose the sarcastic tone. You’ve also gotta help me eat these cakes before they melt,” Tray said.
I put my cell back into my pocket, but that was the only concession I was prepared to give to him.
“I’ll lose my current attitude as soon as you tell me how we’re gonna eat six hot fudge cakes between the two of us,” I stated defiantly.
“You’ve got a point – no way can we eat all six,” Tray agreed and then considered what to do about our current hot fudge cake overload situation.
He distributed them to the two waitresses, the cook and the dishwasher. He gave the additional one to the disheveled man sitting at a table alone.
“All the cakes are taken care of now – help me eat this one and I’ll explain what just happened,” Tray offered.
“You do realize that we could’ve had our conversation, your apparent mental breakdown and my complete break from reality at home. It would’ve cost less and the public would be none the wiser that we’re both certifiably insane,” I told him as I stuffed another bite of chocolaty deliciousness in my mouth.
Just because I’m a total nut case doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy every single bite of a hot fudge cake…
“I chose this location on purpose. I wanted to safely “demonstrate” my ability for you. I knew that if I’d driven us directly home that you’d be asleep in about two nanoseconds. There are a few things that you need to hear from me and I wanted you to hear them before you fell asleep for the night. So are you awake and ready to listen for a minute or two?” Tray asked and I nodded then I pretended to zip my lips together.
His ploy worked. I would’ve been asleep in the car, but I wasn’t remotely tired now. I felt a shiver crawling up my spine. It wasn’t from fear though – it was anticipation. I hoped he would hurry with that explanation because the Ember-word-dam wouldn’t hold for very long.
“You’re not crazy or psycho. Well, let me modify that statement – if you’re psycho then I am too. I…um…I’ve had that unique ability for a while now. I seem to be able to sort of suggest things to people just by saying it or even thinking it and…scratch that...it’s sort of like I can persuade them by what I’m saying…well, it’s like they believe whatever it is I suggested or can see whatever I tell them to see…” Tray struggled with the explanation of what seemed unbelievable.
My eyes widened from the bombshell. The word-dam took no kind of effort to maintain because I was too stunned to speak.
“I thought I should demonstrate my skill for you because trying to explain it is – well, it’s almost impossible as you now know. So you’re not losing your mind, Ember – no need for a straitjacket or a soft, cushiony room.
“It does appear that you’ve suddenly developed a gimonsterous ability of some sort without any kind of warning. That leaves me – no, strike that – this leaves us with some challenges to face. My gift sort of crept up on me while I was busy doing other stuff, so I had time to adjust. It’s obvious that your ability isn’t gonna give you the same luxury. Now, I’ve gotta keep you safe. That means your cell phone never leaves you, understand? It goes everywhere you go – consider it a new extension of your existing arm…” Tray informed me.
I nodded to let him know that I understood what he was saying. My brother sat in silence for a few minutes and allowed me some time to process the craziness.
“Do you remember anything from right before you blacked out today?” he asked me, finally breaking the silence.
“Just the stuff I’ve told you already. Krista left her outfit, heels and a makeup kit at our house and I returned them to her. So, don’t burn the mini-skirt please – it’s not mine. I borrowed them back outta her locker. I put the makeup on and got dressed in the girls’ room…Oh no, I can’t believe I did that – I forgot my backpack. It’s in the girl’s bathroom near the teacher’s lounge. We’ve gotta get to school before anyone else does. I left my CD player inside the front pocket and a big stack of CD’s too,” I told him anxiously and smacked myself on the forehead in frustration.
“It’ll be okay. Give yourself a break, kid. You had a little something going on this afternoon – don’t you think?” Tray reminded me and I pushed the forgotten backpack from my thoughts – we have bigger fish to fry.
“I need you to focus, think hard because this is important. Do you remember anything else from today or any of the other times? Any little thing might help?”
He looked me squarely in the eyes and I wiggled underneath the weight of his stare. I had spent hours trying to remember the details and had always come up empty. I felt the tears as they started to well up and fought hard to keep them contained.
“I just can’t remember anything about how the light works or why it happens or how to make it do anything either. I promise that I’ve tried, but every time I come up with the same nothing that I came up with before. I want to remember though and when I try to force my memory to come back to me it only makes it worse. Then some stuff I remembered earlier fades into the darkness. At that point, I’m thoroughly panicked because I’m getting worse and not better…” I stated hysterically.
“Sshh, calm down Little Girl. It’s alright – I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put you under that kind of pressure. We’ll let that topic rest for the time being. Let’s talk about something you can remember. What does the ability feel like when it starts?”
“Are you sure it’s some rare ability like you have? Maybe I’m a psycho. You’ve never seen me use any special super hero power. All you’ve witnessed is me falling into darkness, falling apart or falling down, whichever the case might be. That doesn’t constitute super powers or abilities – that’s just proof, well of nothing – other than being inept and awkward or good at hiding from reality. I know for sure that I don’t have the “super power” of persuasion like you have or I’d be a senior right now instead of a freshman. I’ve never even won an argument with you ever,” I resorted to finger pointing, but I knew – and I’m sure my brother did too – that I was fishing for his reassurance.
“Ember, you have a few abilities and I’ve seen some of them already, but those are stories for another time. As for calling them “super powers” – well, that makes our gifts sound juvenile and fake. Abilities like these are blessings at best and curses at worst. They can be a huge asset if they’re used wisely or they can lead to tragic consequences if we misuse them. They can never be ignored or taken lightly.
“As for the ‘never winning an argument with me’ thing, I’m refusing to answer that one on the grounds that it will definitely incriminate me. Really, that’s my true super power – my uncanny ability to never incriminate myself – at least where you’re concerned,” Tray offered cryptically and then laughed.
“Very, very un-funny – I mean it, Tray. I think you would’ve told me already if you’d seen me do, what you just did a few minutes ago…”
“I never said I’ve “seen you do what I do”. Let me clarify what I stated. I’ve had an occasion or two to see your personal abilities. I’ve never said anything to you about them before because, at the time I witnessed them you were much younger. In my defense, I was just a kid myself and I didn’t understand what I was seeing. So, I hope you can forgive me…” Tray stated.
“The
re’s nothing to forgive you for. That’s kind of like asking me to forgive you for having a bad dream that involved me and then not sharing it until later – that’s just silly,” I said and waved my hand in the air to dismiss his confession.
“It’s late Little Girl and that eye baggage tells me you still need to rest,” he stated.
He took out his wallet to pay and prepared to leave. I grabbed his arm before he could fully stand up and pulled him back down onto the seat.
“Please, will you just answer a few more questions for me? I only have a hundred or so and I don’t think I can stand the suspense. I’ve gotta have at least twenty of them answered because it would take me all night to write them all down to ask you later…” I pleaded with my brother.
“Sure, I’ll answer your questions. Wait, let me clarify that ‘yes’ for you. I’ll answer a couple of questions because it’s getting late. So, as long as we have a deal then go ahead and ask me something,” Tray offered.
The questions swirled around in a maddening circle – all wanting to be asked. When I finally opened my mouth to say something though, what I spoke and what I thought I was going to ask were two different things entirely.
“Do you regret giving up your entire adolescence to raise me?” I questioned and surprised myself.
Those words had formed together without my knowledge and popped out of my mouth without any warning. This particular inquiry had nothing to do with the subject we were currently discussing. Although I had always wondered about it, I certainly didn’t think I would ever ask him. The question had already been spoken now and I couldn’t take it back. So, I braced myself to hear his answer and felt the fear wash through me.
Note to self…only ask questions that I’m sure I want to hear the answer to…
“My only regret has been that we’ve had to move repeatedly. You deserve to be able to live in one place for more than a month or two at a time. I know we’re gypsies and crave the open road, but that’s not the real reason we move so much. No matter what reason we have for relocating so frequently, you should have a stable home life. I haven’t been able to provide that for you – that’s the only regret I have about anything,” Tray said with sincerity.
“Well, if we’re talking moves and regrets from having to do them constantly, then I’m the guilty party in that equation. You’ve moved us – what – like twice now over the years? I’ve been responsible for all the other instantaneous relocations. You never even questioned my madness either – you just packed and moved when I asked to go.
“You know more about me than anyone on this earth. No parent, no matter how involved, could take better care of any child – especially one like me,” I replied and the emotion echoed through my words.
It was more truth than I knew I was capable of understanding. I have no memory of our parents, although I was eight years old when we left home. I should have been able to recall at least a few details about them, but the space where they should have been was empty. I had never asked Tray anything about them either – where they went or who they were. It didn’t seem to matter. My brother is the only parent I have ever known. We have each other. That’s all we need…
“You’ve always been frustrated that I make you live your age, but you gotta understand something. I can’t allow you to test out of high school although you could’ve accomplished that at the age of ten. I knew if I had allowed you to reach that potential, the state would’ve taken you away to a foster home or worse – some secret underground government facility for mentally brilliant kids…”
I thought back to that day in fourth grade – The Harttown Primary Incident – and knew he was telling the truth. Even though I hadn’t exactly understood what was happening at the time, I remember that I had been deathly afraid. Tray fixed it, just like he would always do throughout my life.
Without this special ability he possesses, I now realize that I probably would’ve been handed over to a secret government agency and studied like a lab rat. No telling what kind of mistreatment I would have been subjected to. Just the thought of it sent chills up my spine.
No protection without my brother…
“So, now you understand why I’ve done everything within my power to help you go unnoticed. I’m gonna freely admit however, that it was so much easier to do that before you developed curves,” Tray added, humorously.
“Ya’ know I realize that I’m an endlessly wandering soul by nature. It’s pathetic when I discover that I’ve wandered so far away that I didn’t even notice my own curves. They just kind of crept up on me one day, and I haven’t paid them the slightest bit of attention,” I confessed and then felt my face flush.
“You can’t possibly be telling me that you didn’t notice something or you wouldn’t have been dressed like you were…” Tray replied.
He was right – well, at least partially right. I had developed curves seemingly overnight. The more womanly that I had become, the more layers of clothing I added. I didn’t put the two events together at the time. In reality, the only reason I had dressed in that skimpy outfit today was because I trusted his perception of me. I certainly didn’t dress that way because I thought I was pretty or curvy.
“Let’s table the I-have-curves-now discussion, because I have a few more questions. So, what are my abilities, who saw me use them, who saw me dressed like that today, what are we gonna…”
“Whoa, I said a couple of questions and besides, the restaurant is getting ready to close. I’m sure the employees would like to leave at some point.”
I noticed that he paid for six hot fudge cakes even though they were listed as two slices of strawberry pie. He also left the waitress a few bills for a tip that included a twenty dollar bill.
My diabolical plan was to get into the car and then continue to grill him relentlessly. I had so many questions and he was the one with all the answers. But my physical body committed mutiny. I had barely buckled myself in before I was fast asleep.
Someone should warn a girl that using her abilities would be so draining…
Ember Rising Light (Book One) Page 27
