by Harper Wylde
“I thought she was in her room.” Damien turned to face me, wiping his hands on the dish towel he was holding and frowning in concern as he reached out across the mental link.
“I thought so too, but when I went to check, she wasn’t there,” I explained, unwilling to admit there was an icy ball of worry in the pit of my stomach.
“She’s in the training yard,” Damien said, relief seeping into his voice. “I didn’t hear her slip out, she’s getting pretty good at that.”
“Want me to go get her for something?” Theo offered. “I saw her briefly this morning to get more blood from her, but she’s been alone since then as far as I know. Killian and Ryder are still searching for Zanoah, and Joshua’s back at the compound.”
“I’ll find her,” I assured him, and patted his arm as his face relaxed and he turned back to the dishes he had been washing.
I shivered in the cold, wishing Nix was there to heat up the air around me. I was never going to be a giant fan of winter, that was for sure. It wasn’t hard to find her now that I knew she was out here, she was safe within the boundaries of the training ground. I stood and watched as she threw fireballs at her targets again and again. She would pause for a moment, focusing, and I wondered if she was trying to gain a grasp on her newest power. “You’re doing well,” I called out as she blasted away another target with a sweep of her hand.
She turned, panting slightly, and sent me a sweet smile, although her eyes wouldn’t meet mine. “With the flames, sure. But I still can’t figure out this time power. I wonder if it may have just been a fluke.”
I grabbed her water bottle from the ground and tossed it to her, smiling as she caught it with ease. “It’ll take time.”
She shook her head, grinning, but then grew somber. “Yeah, I know. But time is the one thing we don’t have.” She gulped down some water, tossing the bottle back into the snow and turning to face the target again. “For this or for us.” Her last words were so quiet, I barely caught them as the icy wind tried to snatch them away.
“Hey.” I wrapped my arms around her, nuzzling my head against hers as I tried to get her to relax into me. “What’s wrong? You’ve been hiding since last night. Did we upset you?” I shivered slightly in the chill and she sighed, pushing a wave of heat out over the both of us.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that.” Although her words were reassuring, her tone wasn’t. This close, I was able to see the dark circles that ringed her eyes and I wondered if she had slept at all last night.
I turned her to face me, lifting her chin to try and force her eyes to mine, yet she darted them away, always looking right past me. “It’s something.” I kept my voice low, but firm. “We’ve been through this. Keeping secrets only ends up causing problems. Just tell me. Whatever the problem, if we work together, we can fix it.” I was racking my brain, trying to figure out what could have changed her from her usual laughing enthusiasm to this moroseness, but I couldn’t come up with anything.
She sighed, her chocolate brown eyes closing for a moment as she tried to shake her head despite my grip on her chin. “There’s nothing you can do.”
Well, if gentle wasn’t working, maybe pissing her off would. “Are you on your period?”
Her eyes snapped open and her gaze shot to mine as she glared, and I bopped her nose. “What kind of sexist—”
I interrupted the start of her tirade. “There’s that fire I love so much,” I murmured, brushing a soft kiss across her pouted lips. “You won’t know if I can help with it if you don’t tell me. Yell if you need to, we’ve all done it before. But we’re not leaving here until you talk to me, Nix, I can promise you that.”
“You won’t want me to talk to you about it. Rini’s not answering her phone…” She trailed off with a shake of her head.
I studied her as she turned her eyes away again, easily reading the guilt and shame covering her features, the doubt in her eyes as she bit her lower lip. I slid my thumb over it so she’d release her plump flesh, soothing the mark she’d made. “There’s a time and place for pain, and this isn’t it,” I told her firmly. “Do you want to go inside and talk about this?”
She shook her head as rapidly as my grip would allow. “No. I don’t want them to…” She trailed off again and I nodded in understanding.
“You don’t have to talk about it in front of them, but Nix, we will talk about it.” She closed her eyes again, shutting herself off from me, and I picked her up, cradling her to my chest as she gasped. I settled onto the ground, uncaring about the chill, and massaged a hand down her neck and back. “So, you don’t want to go inside and face the others, you want to talk to Rini, and you’re out here all by yourself. I’ll take a stab in the dark here and say you’re fretting about what all of us have put off talking about—Joshua.”
I didn’t need to see her face to feel her wince as she said, “I’m not—”
“You are,” I cut her off. “And if you don’t want this first talk about it—because I’m sure there will be plenty—to happen in front of the others, I understand. But you and I are going to address it right now. If you want to sit here across from me, if you want to scream at me, or if you want to stay right in my lap where I love having you, the choice is yours. We’re not going to wait any longer though. It’s just eating at you.” I kept my words firm but my hands soft in comfort, hoping to soothe her as much as I could.
“I don’t want to betray you,” she confessed on a breath. “I know it’s how some of you feel, I could feel it through Damien. The anger, the hurt…” She trailed off and I felt tears dampen the collar of my sweatshirt.
“You also felt surprise and confusion,” I reminded her gently. “We all felt yours, just like we felt your understanding and your happiness.” A sob broke from her and I brushed a kiss over her hair. “Nix, what did you think was going to happen?” I did pull back now, needing to see her face. “Did you think we would all leave you? That our family was going to fall apart?” When she wouldn’t look at me, I knew I had my answer.
“Answer this question, Nix. Do you believe you’re my mate?”
“Of course!” The words were broken by her tears as her eyes sought out mine, her hand automatically reaching to soothe me in turn.
“And do you think that Damien, Killian, Theo, and Ryder are your mates?”
“I know they are, but—”
I cut her off with a kiss, pulling back as she relaxed against me. “You could have gotten into anyone else’s Uber that day, and we would have never met you. I believe meeting you wasn’t chance, nor it was luck. I have known, deep inside of myself, that you were always destined to meet us, to bring us closer together. I haven’t doubted that for a minute.” I wiped away her tears, drying her soft cheeks. “Does it bother you when I’m with Ryder?” The subject change made her blink.
“Of course not. I mean, it’s… well, it’s hot,” she said with a blush.
“But he’s not you,” I pointed out, pushing the subject. “Doesn’t it bother you when I touch him, or kiss him? Will it bother you when we do have sex together, even if you’re not in the room?”
She was blinking rapidly now, trying to keep up with all the questions I was throwing at her. “Why would it?”
“Because you’re my mate. My attention should be on you, right? Why would you allow me to touch another male? Won’t you end up hating me for it?”
“Hiro, I would never! How could I when you…” She trailed off, frowning at me now as she narrowed her eyes. “You did that on purpose,” she accused. “You knew I’d get worked up and comfort you.”
I smiled at her and kissed her again. I loved seeing her fired up, even if it was because I had irritated her. Her skin flushed prettily and her brown eyes were bright, and it was sexy as hell. “I did do it on purpose, yes. Honestly, Nix, I think I’ll understand more than most of them will. I’m not saying it won’t be hard bringing another male into our group. There will be jealousy and some stress. It helps a little that we have
known him since we were kids, and we know he’s not a bad guy—as much as Killian’s still upset about the attack, even though it was a necessary evil at the time. But there will be issues at first. We’ve been alone with each other for so long, it will always be an adjustment.” I wrapped her hair around my hand, tugging her head back so I could see her more clearly. “That does not mean it isn’t worth it. I believe that you are my fated mate, I believe that the mark on my skin is a gift. Why would I deny that gift to someone else? Why would I force you to be without a part of yourself? We aren’t human, Nix. Our needs, our beliefs, don’t conform. My only desire as your mate is to ensure your happiness and your safety. Now, I have one more male who will not only give his life up for you if needed, but one who, when he mates with you, will add another layer of protection and strength. Why would that upset me?”
I waited for her to answer me as the tears slowly dried. “But, if I’m with him…”
“Then you’ll be with one of us later,” I finished for her. “No shame. No blaming. I can get jealous of one of them at times, but I always know you’re right there if I need you, and you’re coming back to us. That’s what’s important, Nix. You’re a gift to us, to all of us, and we couldn’t have gotten luckier.”
She grimaced at that and I tightened my hold. “What, exactly, does that expression mean?” I asked carefully.
A blush crept up her cheeks as she answered, “Well, I just think that’s an exaggeration is all.”
“An exaggeration?” Anger at how little she valued herself began to creep up inside of me. “Why is it an exaggeration?” She watched me warily now, her eyes dark and assessing, as if trying to gauge my mood.
“You’re all so gorgeous, and I’m just, well, me,” she blurted out in a rush. “I mean, look at how special and sexy and talented you all are! You can all sing beautifully, you can dance, you’re all so smart. You all speak multiple languages. Killian can fly a plane, Theo knows computers and science, and Ryder’s going to be a doctor for heaven’s sake. Damien knows politics and cooking. You’ve learned an entire new culture along with your own! You take care of everyone at the dorms, you’re always protecting people.” She was rattling off the words so fast she nearly stumbled over them. “I’m not like all of you. I’m trying so hard to be, to learn and keep up, but I’m always a dozen steps behind,” she finished in a rush.
“Let me get this straight.” My words were so low they were nearly a hiss as disbelief consumed me. “You don’t see yourself as attractive.” I held up a hand to prevent her from speaking, a low growl rumbling in my chest as my Kitsune pressed close to the surface. “You don’t think you’re talented? Or special? You consider yourself as less than us?” Slowly, she nodded in response, caution clear in her expression as she watched me. “Come with me, Nix. There are some lessons you need to learn.” I pushed from the ground in a smooth motion, carrying her easily as I strode purposefully toward the house. I wasn’t going to let anyone talk badly about my mate, including her—this would be the last time she had those thoughts, I was going to see to that.
Twelve
Nix
“Where are we going?” I asked, clinging to him as panic tickled at the back of my throat. I knew he’d never hurt me, but I had rarely seen Hiro worked up.
“Hiro?” Damien and Theo called after us, as he strode purposefully through the kitchen and gave a weak wave of acknowledgment. “Is she okay?” Damien’s voice held a touch of panic. “Oh!” I assumed Hiro had thrown something to him mentally, and I heard their rapid footsteps behind us as Hiro climbed the stairs.
“I can walk, Hiro,” I reminded him gently, patting him on the back as I tried to calm him down from whatever mood had rapidly taken over him.
Hiro tossed me onto the bed in my room, making me squeal as I bounced. “Nix has decided she isn’t as important, as sexy, or as talented as we are.” Hiro directed the words over his shoulder to Damien and Theo, where they stood tensely in the doorway. “When I tried to tell her how incredible she was, how much we adored her, she could only wrinkle her nose and think of her flaws.” Hiro’s dark eyes flashed as he stared at me, slowly arching a brow in challenge. “She objected to being complimented, saying she can’t keep up with us, that she wasn’t a gift to us.” Damien and Theo hissed.
“Is that true, Nix?” Damien’s voice sounded almost… disappointed. “Do you really think that?”
I shrugged, my shoulders tense as my eyes flicked between them. “It’s not like it’s a secret. I’m not as smart as all of you, or as talented, and I’m definitely not as sexy, I mean…” I trailed off again at Hiro’s growl as he cupped my chin in his hand.
“That’s ridiculous and it’s not going to keep happening.” He flicked his gaze to his brothers. “You can stay and help me, or you can go about your day. Either one is fine with me. But I’m going to make sure that she stops thinking about herself as anything less than a goddess, no matter how long it takes me.” I wasn’t sure if that was a promise or a threat, and something deep inside of me knotted with heat at the dark intent in his voice.
“I’ll stay,” Damien stated, his voice firm. “If she’s still thinking any of that bullshit, I don’t want to be responsible for not helping her change it. Besides, this way I can ensure she’s truly okay with everything and paying attention to her lesson.” He arched a brow at me as I blushed.
“Me too,” Theo said grimly, surprising me. I knew Hiro had dominant tendencies, and Damien seemed to be fluid about his, but Theo was my gentle Kraken and I hadn’t expected this side of him. He shook his head at my look. “Sweetheart, if you’re really talking badly about yourself, I’m not going to put up with it. I’d beat anyone else who spoke poorly about you, so why should I let you put yourself down? Besides, it’s the doubts inside of ourselves that are the hardest to shut down, and apparently you need help doing it.” His blue eyes were warm as they met mine, while he reached behind his neck to tug his t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor to expose all of his golden skin and hard muscle. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly very dry as I took each one of them in.
“Nix, we haven’t played like this before. It’s going to be different than what you’ve experienced, but we will make it enjoyable for you. If you aren’t comfortable with it, say so now,” Hiro warned, stripping his sweater off in smooth, measured motions.
I cleared my throat, winding my fingers through my hair as I tried a smile. “I’m not afraid of you. I just don’t understand what sex has to do with changing how I see myself,” I argued.
Hiro’s grin was wicked as he slid his jeans down, standing in front of me in only his black boxers. “You’ll see.” He pulled me up from the bed and cupped a hand around my neck, forcing my eyes to meet his. “If you get uncomfortable, if you want to slow down, say ‘yellow.’ If you want to stop, you say ‘red.’ Don’t be afraid to use your words, Nix, but if you say red, everything we are doing will stop immediately. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I replied, breathing the word on a gasp as my heart pounded in my chest.
“Damien, go to Ryder’s room and get his closet mirror, please,” Hiro directed.
“A mirror? Why do you—” Hiro’s mouth on mine interrupted whatever objections I had.
“No questions, Nix. You aren’t in control here, we are,” Hiro ordered.
“But—” I tried to argue, but Hiro’s mouth closed over mine again, stopping the words. I was lost in the heat of his body and the taste of his mouth, as he swiped his tongue over mine, taking the kiss deep and dark as he nipped me, the smooth, cold sensation of his tongue ring making me groan.
“Where do you want it?” Damien interrupted, amusement in his voice as he watched us.
“By the bed,” Hiro instructed. “Feel free to strip. I’m sure she’d like the view,” he added with a chuckle.
My hands were shaking now, but it wasn’t fear that filled me. Excitement, yes, and nerves, absolutely, but I knew without a single speck of doubt that they would nev
er harm me.
Already turned on, hm? Damien’s mental voice filtered into our link and I blushed, sending him an embarrassed smile.
“No embarrassment, Nix,” Theo stated, reaching to stroke a hand down my cheek. “We like when you respond to us. Why would that be something to be embarrassed about?”
“Theo, do you know how to braid hair?” Hiro inquired, causing me to turn my attention to him in shock. What the hell did braiding have to do with anything we were about to do?
“Yes,” he answered with a nod.
“Good, braid her hair for me. It’s better when it’s out of the way.” Hiro’s eyes were dark, his movements slow and smooth as he strode over to me, wrapping my hair around his fist and trailing a finger down my throat. “Besides, it makes it so easy to control where that pretty mouth goes.”
I couldn’t prevent the approving murmur that fell from my lips, both at Hiro’s words and the grasp he had on me. He let my hair fall, tossing a hair tie from my end table into Theo’s outstretched hand. Theo made quick work of the braid, a skill that still surprised me, and he kissed the back of my neck with gentle lips, grazing over the chain of their promise necklace. “So, what exactly do you plan to do to change my mind?” I asked nervously. Hiro merely arched a brow at me. “Right, no questions, I remember,” I muttered.
Damien and Theo finished stripping down to their boxers, tossing them with abandon around my room as they closed in on me. Hiro joined after a moment, tugging on the tight braid Theo had made, making me gasp as a hint of pain worked its way across my scalp, followed by heat as I felt their bodies pressing against mine. “Very nice. But I think you’re entirely too overdressed for these events. Damien?”
