by Shea Malloy
I am unsurprised Aphat deems an assault that almost claimed my life an ‘unimportant matter’.
“This will not end well, Ronan,” I say. “If you kill this human who the others believe are innocent, this will be the catalyst that brings another war to our gates.”
“I act on the word of the Konai.” His tone is obstinate, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “Tomorrow, the human will pay the price as an example to the others of the consequences of defying us. If they want war, let there be war. And then I will kill them all.”
13
Theron
—
The courtyard of the Andrak is packed with humans the morning of the human’s execution.
Andrasari guards surround them to keep them contained. Seela and I stand beneath the Andrak’s awning, outside of the crowd.
In the center is a platform. Atop it the condemned human is tied to a pole.
“You don’t have to be here,” I tell Seela quietly.
She hasn’t said a word to me on her own since the night before. I’ve often been irritated by her chattiness but now her silence discomforts me.
She only speaks when she is spoken to and avoids my gaze. When she looks at me, it’s with an unfocused stare like if she’s willing herself to pretend I don’t exist.
“I have to for Xia, zevyena,” she says, her tone devoid of any emotion.
It should make me happy that she’s finally behaving the way she is supposed to, but I’m far from it. There’s this dark unpleasant thing coalescing in my chest. A variety of emotions that are dangerous to unpack because they go directly against my ideologies.
There’s the guilt that the human tied to the pole above is losing his life indirectly because of me.
There’s the anger that despite all my power, I’m still unable to put an end to what’s about to happen.
And worst of all is the cold understanding that once this human loses his life, Seela might never again look at me the way she did the night before.
Which should be a good thing. What we almost did was a mistake of enormous proportions. What we almost did shouldn’t have even be considered.
My thoughts return to the present when Ronan climbs onto the platform. High above in one of the Andrak’s balconies stands Aphat with his guards, presiding over the affair.
“Today, I will teach you all a valuable lesson,” begins Ronan, addressing the humans. “This human before you has been found guilty of thievery and facilitating a group assault upon our most excellent Nai Theron Visclaud. For these crimes, the Konai has ordered that this scum be sentenced to death. A death you shall all witness. He is to be made an example of the consequences of defying and rebelling against your zevyena.” He turns to the human. “Do you have anything to say for yourself? Do you repent of your crimes?”
Angry mutterings spread throughout the crowd, their features contorted with hate. A tense energy thickens the air and as if the guards are aware of it, they withdraw their weapons. Despite their strength and training, they are Unshifted Andrasari and the humans outnumber them.
“I love you, Xia,” says the human, his voice uneven from emotion, his purpling, misshapen face glistening with tears. “In my absence, may Kahafura continue to protect you, bless you with happiness, and the strength to forgive those who hurt you.”
Preferring humans to beg for their lives, Ronan sneers and hits the human over the head. Humans in the crowd cry out at this, but grow silent when he shifts into his dragon.
His large metal-grey form inhabits the skies. The gust from his wings pushes a few of the humans back, his tail snapping to and fro like a vicious whip.
He roars, calling forth the fire from his belly.
He has no need to be so dramatic to kill one human.
He has no need to kill this human at all.
The human on the platform faces his impending execution bravely. He doesn’t beg for mercy even as Ronan lowers his head and breathes fire on him.
I’ve heard countless humans scream as I burned them alive and I’ve always taken satisfaction in the sound.
For the first time, I take no joy in a human’s suffering.
Clenching my fists I endure the terrible wailing. Even in extreme pain, he does not beg.
“Don’t look,” I tell Seela.
I reach for her to turn her away because I don’t want this image forever ingrained in her mind. She wrenches away before I can touch her. Her eyes are shiny with tears, the fire’s glow dancing in them.
She doesn’t look away. She takes it all in. She will remember this moment forever. She will remember that even though it was not me who burned the human male alive, I was still responsible because of who I am.
The human’s screaming comes to an abrupt end and Ronan returns to the platform, naked in his primary form. The fire still burns on the pole but all is silent.
The energy of the crowd is darker and tenser than before. If Ronan senses it, he doesn’t seem to care. He smirks at the furious faces surrounding him, triumphant in his act. He opens his mouth, no doubt to say more that would rub salt in the wound he’s just torn wide open.
A shout erupts and a human female launches herself onto the platform.
“Vi ocir eus oce!” she screams. It’s one of Andrasari’s oldest and darkest motto popularized by my war-mongering grandfather when he was the Konai.
You kill or die.
Kill or be killed.
She’s quicker than Ronan anticipated, her rage fuelling her movements. She tackles Ronan to the ground, a knife in her fist arcing through the air as she stabs him repeatedly in the neck and chest.
Andrasari guards flood the platform and yank the human off Ronan. They end her life with a violent twist of her neck.
Anarchy erupts as fighting ensues. I’m caught between duty to subdue the crowd and the need to protect Seela.
I choose the latter by grabbing her hand and hurrying her toward one of the Andrak’s entrances. There’s havoc inside the Andrak too, the crowd of humans swarming everywhere as they chant at the top of their voices, “Vi ocir eus oce!”
“Stay here,” I order when we’re in my quarters. “Don’t let anyone inside. Human or Andrasari. It’s not safe until I have everything under control.”
She nods silently and I leave.
Ronan is no longer on the platform, but there’s a large pool of blood on its surface. It’s a possibility that he’s dead because as much as a Shifted Rur can withstand grave injuries, we are still fallible to an attack on our vital organs. Ronan was stabbed in the chest. Maybe the blade found his heart.
Of course, Aphat is gone and no longer presiding over the violent aftermath. Using the collars to shock the humans into submission is out of the question because it would hurt Seela too.
There are a few draki burning humans alive and I order them to spare the humans’ lives and corral them instead. Some of the humans escape and I don’t bother giving chase.
Once the remainder are subdued, Unshifted guards arrest them and drag them away to the prison cells.
14
Theron
—
It takes the remainder of the day to have everything in order.
By the time I visit Eyin to ascertain Ronan’s condition, evening has fallen.
“He’ll live,” says Eyin quietly. “He’ll be recovered and on his feet in a few days.”
This news should give me relief but instead, I feel nothing. As I stare at Ronan lying unconscious on Eyin’s table, all I feel is anger for what he’s done.
When I was a child, he was the one I held as a role model because of his ability to stand up against Aphat. We were supposed to be on the same side. The one working toward bettering Andrasar in spite of Aphat’s persistence in driving it to the ground.
When had things changed?
Eyin gathers medical supplies in a bag as if in preparation to leave.
I frown. “Where are you going?”
“I have to tend to the humans who were i
njured in the fight,” she says.
“That would be a foolish thing to do, Eyin. They will not react kindly to an Andrasari tending to their wounds.”
She purses her lips. “But they need my help—”
“No.” I say the words harsher than I’d intended and she deflates. I relent, upset with myself. “Not yet. I need to make them aware they’ve been given a second chance despite what they did. That they will get no other if they persist in their disobedience.”
“That’s not like you at all. You never give second chances.”
“Ronan took the life of a human in the hope of starting a war. I want to make sure I nip it in the bud.”
I don’t look at her when I speak and for that reason she knows that’s not the entire truth. She peers at me, her intelligent mind coming to the right conclusion in mere seconds.
“Are you doing this because of Seela?” she asks.
“Sparing the lives of the humans are of no benefit to her.”
“No, but you want her. I saw the way you were looking at her that first day you brought her here. You know that if you kill them she’ll never want anything to do with you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Eyin. I can’t want a human.”
“You tell yourself you ‘can’t’ but that doesn’t mean you ‘don’t’.” She smiles at my scowl. “What an ironic situation to be in, Theron Visclaud, the great despiser of all humans.”
“There’s more to the irony,” I say quietly. “She is my fire’s half.”
Eyin’s eyes widen before she throws her head back with a laugh. It’s not the reaction I expected but for such a horrific day, it’s good to hear the sound of my sister’s amusement.
When her humour dies away, she becomes somber as she hugs me.
“I’m happy for you, Theron, because you’ve found something so many wish they could find. But you’ve built a wall so high around yourself, blocking you from what’s yours.”
Unsure of how to respond, I ruffle the top of her head like I used to when we were children. Squawking in protest, she slaps at my hand and shoos me away.
When I return home, I find Seela standing by one of the large windows that overlooks the city below us. She doesn’t acknowledge my presence and I hesitate. But I refuse to cower from her.
“Seela.”
“Yes, zevyena?” she answers, but she doesn’t look at me.
I scowl at that. Yesterday, it’s exactly what I demanded her to call me. In this moment I know she’s using it as a shield, as a way to distance herself from me. Just as I would call her ‘human’ or ‘slave’ when thoughts of having her beneath me became too prominent in my head.
“I am not the one who killed the human today,” I say. “Your anger is misguided.”
She makes a sound of derision. “‘The human’. That’s what we all are to you. A collective word with no individuality because it’s easier to hate us and mistreat us that way.” Finally she meets my gaze, her eyes shining with anger. “He was a person with a name. Shihong. Not just ‘human’.”
Every single bit of me aches to reach for her, hold her, and comfort her, but I know she won’t accept it. Not from me. Not when I represent her misery. I shouldn’t either. That would be dangerous.
“I promised Xia,” she says staring out the window again, shaking her head. “I promised her I’d get him free.” She pauses. “I guess he is in death. Free from mistreatment and injustice.”
I should be happy she looks like this, sounds like this. A broken human, her shoulders hung low in defeat, her voice laced with nothing but bitter resignation. This is what has brought me satisfaction for years in the humans. That look in their eyes when they realize there’s no hope left for them.
There’s none of that now where I stand. Instead, guilt presses on my chest, and along with it comes a doubt in myself and my beliefs. Something I’ve never questioned before.
It’s ridiculous how this weak, tiny creature makes me feel so minuscule, makes me question the truth of what I’ve been fed all these years. If I can see her for what she is—something good and honest—would it be a challenge to see more of her kind in a positive light?
These thoughts discomfort me. They are too foreign for me to welcome right now.
“You seem to have fantastical expectations despite knowing the dark reality of your existence.” I step closer. “Would it ease your disappointment if I told you that I tried? I tried to have his life spared even though he was a suspect in a crime that almost took my life. Even though I never spare the life of someone who tries to harm me.”
“Then why am I here? I stabbed you. Why don’t you tie me to the pole and burn me alive too?”
“Because you are different.”
Her anger dissipates, replaced by surprise. She regards me for a moment in silence while I stand in regret that I uttered the words.
“The only thing that’s different about me is that I was stupid enough to save your life. Stupid enough…overconfident enough to think that doing so would change the way you view my kind. I should have left you for dead.” Her dark-brown eyes flash with anger. “I should have turned around and continued on my way far away from you.”
I move toward her. She retreats until there’s nowhere to go, the window’s glass pressed against her back. And still, I occupy her space until there’s not much left between us.
“You should have, then we both would have died in blissful ignorance of each other.” I tilt her chin and lower my face to hers. “Yet you stayed and cursed us both.”
This time I don’t hesitate. I take her lips against mine and my dragon storms within me, restless and demanding that I take more.
She fights me of course, because Seela is my fire’s half and, like me, never gives into anything easily. She pushes against my chest and wrenches her face away. I grab her wrists and pin them above her head, and she immediately squirms against my grasp.
She ceases her struggle when she realizes she can’t free herself from my hold.
I’m stronger than her, bigger than her, unyielding against her pliant delicateness.
She is my antithesis.
I am the darkness that will consume her glorious light.
She breathes deeply, her eyes shiny with dislike and outrage. Even when she hates me, she is the most fucking beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I want her so badly it’s like a deep, persistent ache in some intangible part of me.
Her body heat has risen, the scent of her arousal eroding my usual steely grip on logic. My resistance to this thing between us has met its death. The beast inside me does not care about consequence.
It only cares that it has the thing it desires most in its clutches and it intends to feast.
15
Seela
—
It isn’t just Theron before me anymore.
It’s that dark monster that lives inside him, too.
It’s night and the only light around us is from the city below. Theron looms over me like a shadow in the gloom but I still see his face. I still see the way his eyes gleam golden and fiery with a hunger that steals my breath, and I know that he’s going to consume me where we stand.
I won’t let him. I won’t give in to him even if my nipples are hard points seeking his attention and between my legs is slick, burning for his touch.
I’m still recovering from his first kiss when he accosts me with another one. He angles his head to the side, his tongue swiping at the seam of my lips before slipping into my mouth.
Lust wraps me up in its heat, smothering me the moment his tongue curls against mine. But the voice inside my head, the one that’s filled with good sense and foresight, screams at me to fight again.
Don’t give in.
Trying to free my hands from his hold, I twist away from his kiss. That leaves my neck exposed. Theron drags his lips across my jaw and latches onto the skin below my ear.
The damp heat of his mouth and tongue inspires a tightening sensation between my legs and pulls
a whimper from lips. His free hand finds the tie on my slave’s robe and loosens it with a yank. The ends of my robe hang open, baring me in my underwear.
Heat floods my face in anger and in mortification. Only one other male has seen me like this, but it’s been so long ago that this moment feels like the first time all over again.
The look on Theron’s face as his gaze scorches my skin frightens me with its intensity. I’m the meat set before a wild, hungry animal who has been chained too long and is now released.
It’s futile to tug free from his hold. His hand might as well be a metal clamp around my wrists. I’ve gained strength working in the bakery hefting heavy sacks of baking product, but I’m like a tiny bird in Theron’s grasp.
“Are you a virgin, Seela?” he asks suddenly, his voice is deeper and rougher. When I don’t answer, he gives me a dark smile. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. As far as I’m concerned, I will be your first and your only.”
“Touch me and you die, Andrasari,” I spit.
“Your threats are empty and pointless.” He pushes his face close to mine, his voice a rasp. He slips a finger just under the edge of my bra, sliding it so his finger caresses the undersides of my breasts. “You’re going to love what I’m about to do to you, Seela. You’re going to beg for my cock, and when I’ve buried it deep inside you, you’re going to cry for more of it while I’m fucking you.”
“You should throw away all that arrogance and remember your morals, Andrasari,” I say in mocking tones.
My heart races, my lungs desperate for air. His filthy promise is too loud, drowning out the rational voice.
I inhale sharply when he shoves up the stretchy material of my bra, revealing my breasts to his ravenous gaze. He cups one in his big, rough hand.
Pinching my nipple between two fingers, he tugs it. My jaw slackens as my treacherous body moves on its own, my chest arching toward his contact.
“According to you, I have no morals,” he says, his tone equally mocking as he continues to pinch and fondle my flesh. “According to you, I am the hateful bastard with no regard for you and your kind.” He bends his head so his lips move against my ear. “But what does that make you…” His hand slides from my breast, skimming my ribcage, inching past my navel. I squirm when his fingertips tickle the skin just above the top edge of my underwear. “…when you desire someone like me?”
