“I... No. I meant everything that’s happened. Everything,” he gestured behind us, “back there.” Voice dry as dust, I was beginning to appreciate that fusty tone.
He’s like a musty old tome—it stinks and yet it’s warm and somehow comforting—familiar. Divit is fast becoming my favorite old book. If only I could crack his spine open and see what lays inside. What’s going on inside that head of his?
“Oh, right, that shit.” Unbuckling, I forced a bright, fake smile, even as my throat clogged, and shrugged. “Yeah, nope. I’m good.” Face pinching, lips pursed, I pushed out a puff of air, trying to stall. “Hey, is this place yours?” Finger pointing, I waved at the house out the window. “Wow. What happened, couldn’t get the fence up yet? Home Owners Association giving you grief? Never pictured you for the prissy, fussy little house kinda guy; more of a pig sty/sex den with, like, leather and satin and whips and weird shit. Hey, this works too though, you little closet, obsessive compulsive, Nancy Cleans-right, you. Bet you wear one of them kiss the cook aprons and everything.”
Opening my door to slip out, I was already scrambling for the front porch steps, my sheet tripping me up every other step, before he could utter a single curse. It was like a record or something.
˜˙˜˙˜˙˜
With a puffed up, towering vamp still grumbling behind me, I whistled low, afraid to touch anything for fear I might dirty it.
“Your house is really... white,” I mumbled, for lack of a better term. “Sterile.” Doing a little circle, I frowned. “I feel like I’m in a combination of my Aunt Katie’s house and the hospital.”
“Please, don’t hold back on my account. By all means, tell me what you really think.” Flipping the lights on as he went, Divit snorted, kicking off his shoes to leave in the hall closet.
Toes curling in the plush, cream carpet, I wondered if my bare feet were clean enough to be walking around on it. Stepping back onto the fat, earthy brown tiles in the entryway, I hesitated when he called after me.
Popping his head back through the doorway he’d just entered, he frowned. “What are you doing? Come here.”
“Do you have like a mudroom? Or a washroom?” My gaze darted to my toes again.
Making a loud, blustering noise, Divit marched back to scoop me up. “You really are a pain in the ass.”
“And you’re no angel, either. If I’m such a headache, twinkle pants, then you should have just-” A big hand closed over my mouth.
“Don’t finish it.” Jostling me with every stomping step, the grumpy vamp reentered the room he’d just vacated, removing his hand and tossing me onto a queen-sized bed. I landed with a squealing squawk, rolling to my stomach to take in the space.
White sheets, white room, white bed. Figures.
Cringing on so many levels, I glanced up at the man askance. “I take it you never eat in bed?”
Sitting on the edge, elbows resting on his knees as his fists rubbed at his eyes, he scoffed. “Why would I want to do that?”
Blinking, I had to rethink that one, realizing what eating in bed would entail for the man. No crackers in the sheets for us.
Frowning at the loss of buttered popcorn and a movie, I flopped back. “I’m beginning to think this live forever stuff is more trouble than it’s worth.”
“You’ll get used to it,” he muttered, his mood no more improved than when we’d left. “You’ll be here when I get back.” Shucking his shirt and pants, leaving me with a devastating view of his naked backside, he made his way to the bathroom.
Door slightly ajar, I heard the shower turn on moments later and just lay there, thinking.
It was a long while before I moved.
˜˙˜˙˜˙˜
By the time he’d showered and I’m guessing shaved, I’d pilfered a pair of gym shorts I could barely fit my butt into from one of his drawers, as well as a button down shirt.
The door opened and my vampire lover looked no happier than when he’d entered. “I heard you. You’re leaving,” he said woodenly, face void of emotion.
Cool, I’m falling for an angry robot.
“Yes.” It wasn’t an easy decision, but I thought a bit of time, for the both of us, might help. A lot’s gone on, more than I’m capable of processing. I thought some space and a bit of time to think might be in order.
Hell, how much did we really know about each other, anyway? Sure, we’ve known each other for years, sort of, but not known-known. I might leave and he’ll move on to the next available idiot, who knows.
Was this a test? I didn’t know. I just hoped neither of us messed this, whatever it is, up.
“How will you eat?” A glimmer of red shimmered in his irises.
Swallowing hard, I slid to the edge of the bed. “I thought I’d talk to you about that.”
“Since when does what I say matter?” The bitterness in his words surprised me.
Stung, I stood up. “Alright, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.” We stood there for a long time, neither able to look at the other, two strangers and yet not, Divit’s gaze going over my head as mine fixed on his chest.
The missing signs of life in the room were just short of deafening with my enhanced hearing, the missing hearts beating and lungs pumping, with the exception of the mechanical hum of the fridge and the quiet tick-tock of the clock in the kitchen, left us to drown in the dead silence.
A car pulled up and honked, just like I’d asked, and I smiled sadly. This felt like good-bye, but I didn’t want it to be.
“So... I’ll see you, then?” Pointing to the pen and paper by his dresser with my number on it, I inclined my head. “You’ll call me?” There was a certain hopeful, wistfulness to my voice that made me feel needy.
Stone-faced, arms crossed, nothing on but a towel hugging his lean hips, Divit dipped his chin, voice barely above a murmur. “As you wish.”
Making my way past him, I stopped in the doorway, fingers on the jamb. Hesitating, my feet slid in the carpet as I turned.
Fingers curling and uncurling as they fell to my sides, my feet carried me back to the man that drove me crazy and I was tugging him down to me. My fingers slid up his chest to encircle his neck, gripping his hair as they slid up further to tangle in the dark, wet mass.
He made as if to resist at first, but my grip tightened and I pulled hard, grunting with the effort. Noses bumping, I mashed my lips to his, tilting my head for better access as his lips parted and my tongue slipped inside. It was a bit of a one-sided affair, and I ultimately ended up pulling back disappointed.
“I’ll call you, then,” I mumbled, wondering why my voice wobbled so.
Dropping back down until I wasn’t balancing on tip-toe, I told myself it would be okay, forcing myself to walk out the bedroom door and down the hall.
We just need time. This is all just messed up.
Stalling at the front door, I glanced over my shoulder. Opening it, I waited.
Still nothing.
Walking out, staring after the light shining in the bedroom from the hall, I wondered why the hell I’m still standing here like a hopeless idiot and he’s still all the way in there.
It made me mad, thinking about all that mate crap and ‘she’s mine’ and yadda-yadda, and he’s just going to leave it all like this?
“Well... fuck you, too!” Slamming the door shut with a thudding bang, I whirled around to march down the front steps.
The windows rattled, the sound of something smashing hitting my ears. Good! I hoped it was expensive and messy, like a vase full of flowers or a potted plant. A really big one.
“Hey.” Glancing up and leaning over, Duncan opened the passenger side door of what I will kindly call his less-than-spectacular means of transportation.
“Hey.” Hopping in, I had to slam the door hard a few times before it finally shut and stayed shut.
Duncan’s crap-mobile gave a spluttering start, backfired, backfired two more times, and then we were off. Buckling up, I kept checking the rearview. No angry vamp in s
ight.
Sighing dejectedly and hating myself for doing so because it really was freaking unnecessary, and as such bordered on dramatic, I shook my head in disgust.
“Thanks for the lift.” A wave of melancholy washed over me, but I forced myself to stare straight ahead. “I tried Spira but she wasn’t answering.” There was no way I was calling Callie, slight reconciliation or not, and that left no one else, with the slight possibility of Dunc. “I didn’t have anyone else to call.”
“S’okay. Sorry about my ride. The other’s in the shop.” A small, wistful smile tilted the man’s lips. “I’m getting it reupholstered.”
He seemed like he really liked his car. Not knowing what to say to that, uncomfortable with that look on his face, I gave a small smile.
“Uhm, that’s cool.”
“Yeah...” Duncan had a funny, dreamy kind of goofy expression fighting to break out across his face, his head clearly in the clouds.
“You alright there, Dunc-man? You’re acting funny.”
“Oh, what?” Duncan blinked and shook his head. “Oh, no, I mean, right. Uh, I mean, I’m fine.” Offering me a short but oddly sweet smile, he glanced over at me nervously, scrubbing a hand through his short beard.
I could even smell it, over the stink of a car sitting for far too long and the sharp tang of something else—a pungent odor I’d never encountered before—the boy was nervous.
“How strange...” I can smell it. Huh. “Look, don’t be nervous. I get it.”
Pulling up to a light, the smile on his lips froze. “Y-y-you-you do?” Eyes wide, his mouth moved, opening and closing in a fish’s gape, but no words came out.
“Yeah.” Nodding, I completely understood. “Callie was afraid of me too, at first. I don’t know if she is now, but there’s no need. I won’t hurt you, Dunc, I promise. I’m like a vampire, but neutered. I have no damn spunk, or whatever.”
“Ohhhh. Oh! Yeah, no. Hah. Heh.” Dunc blew out a long breath, shaking his head. “I believe you. I trust you, Norma Gene. No worries. No worries at all.” Smiling brightly again, the light turned green and his car spluttered off.
“Oh.” Brow furrowed, I scratched at my scalp. “Then what was all that about?”
“What was all what about?” he asked patiently, a funny laugh rumbling his chest.
“What was all- Oh, forget it.” He obviously doesn’t want to tell me and, frankly, at this point I couldn’t care less. I had too much on my plate as it is—an almost beheading, a new vampire life, blood addiction... a freaking mate, for god’s sake!—to be mixed up in his business, which is really none of mine.
“Heh. Heh.” Duncan laughed nervously. “Yeah, good plan.” And there was that smell again.
About to turn on the freeway, there was a screech behind us and the blare of car horns, people yelling and lots of shouting over the usual traffic sounds, and tires squealing. Duncan’s car gave another death rattle, thumping and almost coming to a jarring stop as we jerked simultaneously.
“Huh. What was all that about?” I wondered aloud.
“Musta been a dog. Ambulance is coming though, and- Oh, there’s a cop car now. I mean, we could go see if there’s any need for help but, uh, from the crowd gathering, we’d just be in the way,” Duncan mumbled, clearing his throat anxiously as he glanced through his rearview at all the commotion stirring behind us.
“No, I don’t suppose we’d be any help. Doubt you have any medical background.”
Dunc let off a short laugh. “Ah... that I don’t.”
“You don’t like big crowds,” I guessed, watching his expression closely.
Shrugging his shoulders stiffly as the car spluttered and kicked two more times before we finally picked up speed, he looked away, jaw clenching. “No.”
And with his short, abrupt tone and that one word, his voice devoid of its typical open friendliness, the conversation ended.
Right... Hit a sore spot. Shutting up now.
Rolling down the window, I was tempted to shove my head out, settling for the wind whipping across my cheeks as we sped off.
The first step is admitting you have a problem
As I stared at my parents’ front door, one whole day and several hours later, my fist raised to knock—though the notion was stupid and foreign to me really—I hesitated. The idea of waiting to be admitted into my parents’ home—of which I currently lived in the basement—like some stranger, struck me as both beyond ludicrous and yet highly appropriate.
My addled brain buzzed as the grey area that is my life worked desperately, trying to fill in all the cracks. This was right, I reasoned out, as funny as it feels, thinking they needed the chance to slam the door shut on my face when I told them. They needed a chance to decide, for themselves—love me or leave me—because like it or not this is the new me.
“Do it. Do it. Do it,” I muttered, trying to scrounge up the courage to hurry up and get this crap over with.
They love me, I kept trying to tell myself. No matter what. That’s what they’ve always said. I had to believe they’d meant it.
Throwing my shoulders back, I blew out a long breath, rolling my eyes at myself not two seconds later. “You don’t need to breathe anymore, stupid.”
“Watcha got going on over here? Where’s the fire?”
Nearly jumping out of my skin, I shrieked and whirled around. My back hit the screen door with a harsh slap that rattled my teeth and I gulped as my dad peered up at me from the bottom of the front walkway.
Adjusting the brim of his floppy fishing fat, he squinted up at me as his wire rimmed glasses slid down the bridge of his wide nose. Pushing his spectacles back up into place, his brows arched as he jerked his chin towards the door questioningly.
“Haven’t seen you for a while. Was just telling your mom the other day I was wondering when you were going to come up for air.”
I laughed, a dry, humorless laugh. Oh, if only he knew. “You make it sound as if I only come to you when I want something,” I said instead.
“Nope. We just know you, is all.” Eyes crinkling at the corners like they usually do when he finds something amusing, Dad smiled.
Hands on my hips, I huffed. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Dad’s smile fell, his mouth making a clucking sound as his tongue ran along his teeth, his hazel eyes—the same light brown mixed with green, a hint of blue towards the center, as mine—never leaving me.
Slipping his free hand into his pocket to jingle his keys, he whistled low as he studied the flowerbeds lining the yard. “Means you’re a thinker, like your old man, but you brood,” he peeked up at me then and a small, devilish grin quirked his lips, “much like your mother. Made you an awfully quiet child when you had a lot on your mind. Might have worried others, but not us. Like I said, we knew, and knowing you, we waited.”
I relaxed fractionally, but not completely. “I, uh... I, uhm, I do have something to tell you guys.” A small, nervous laugh welled in my throat as I twisted my fingers nervously. Clenching them in front of me, I swallowed hard.
Dad nodded. “Well, come on, kiddo. Out with it, then. We don’t bite.” Dad’s gaze dipped and he laughed outright. “Right, Doodle?”
No, but I do. My throat tightened just thinking about it.
Snickerdoodle, Dad’s spoiled, peach colored Labradoodle, barked happily at his feet. She’d been going nuts the second they’d hit the paved walk. Straining against her leash, she yipped and whined excitedly when he addressed her, her gaze darting back and forth between us, eager to get to me.
“Oh, fine, girl. Go say hi to Genie. You’d think you hadn’t seen her in weeks.” Dad chuckled and let her loose, smiling as she raced up the steps to leap at me, a bundle of barking, curly fur.
Right before she was about to pounce, as is typical of her, her tongue lolling out happily as she let out a deep bark, she came to a screeching halt not two feet from me and recoiled. Yelping, she let out a startled yip, tucking tail, and ran, racing back to Dad to c
ower by his feet.
“Doodle? Goofy dog! It’s Genie. What on earth...” Dad shook his head, at a loss. “What has gotten into you?”
“Uhm, actually, Dad, I think it’s more like... what’s gotten into me.”
Dad’s gaze jerked up from his cowering pup to blink at me. “You?” Frown lines creased his age lined face and he blinked again. “Well, I don’t know if I’d say that, but-”
“Is Mom home?” I didn’t mean to be abrupt, but I’d already come this far and the unnatural fear that I’d back out and make a run for it at any moment was all too entirely a possibility.
Moving closer, Dad took the first porch step, and then another, until the bottom of his shoe was scuffing along the porch plank.
“No. NO! Don’t come any closer! Just... Just go get Mom, and then, uhm, you guys stay right there, or, uh, uh, uh... uhm, better yet, the other side of the security screen door!” Yes, that sounded safe. They have to invite me in or some crap first, don’t they? Sure not to inhale for fear I might catch his scent or something, I shoved a hand out, waving him back.
“Genie...” Dad spluttered, shocked, his eyes wide in his thin, pale face.
“Look, just, please...” Trying to keep my voice low, I spoke calmly. “Please go get Mom.”
Dad nodded, frowning, and went back down the steps to retrieve Doodle.
After a brief tug of war, Snickerdoodle on the winning end, Dad gave up and picked up the big, whining mess to carry her into the house. Depositing his cowering pooch inside, he shook his head as he stared after her.
I was a little sad she was so scared of me, but I understood.
With a brief glance at me, the screen door at his back as he went to slip inside, Dad held a hand out. “Honey, I don’t know what’s going on here, and I love you, you know that, but if you want me to take you seriously, pumpkin, you’re going to have to take that,” he gestured to my face, “uh, thing you got on there off.
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