by Donna Alward
Now her body trembled wondering how it would have gone down if she’d walked to the store by herself. It was back to this now. Being afraid to be alone. And boy, did that piss her off.
“Rick, wait!”
He hesitated, long enough for her to catch up with him again. “Sorry,” he said, his voice tight. “I’m a little keyed up. I didn’t realize how fast I was going.”
She reached for his hand and then drew hers back as she felt wetness on her fingertips. The punch to Mike’s face had ripped his knuckles, making them bleed. “Stop,” she pleaded. “Let me look at your hand. Rick…”
“You can look at it once we’re at Sarah’s. The ice cream is melting.” He started walking again, not much slower than before.
It was a cool November day and it was a ten-minute walk at best. The ice cream would be fine. But Jess could tell that Rick wasn’t. He was agitated, full of adrenaline. Not much wonder. He’d held his cool remarkably well at first. And even when he’d stepped in, he hadn’t lost it the way Josh had that first night.
She couldn’t escape the look of Mike’s mocking face as he’d said, “You never know where I’ll show up.” He was a master of intimidation. If he wanted Jess to be looking over her shoulder, this was the perfect way. The rest of the words she didn’t care about. The insults didn’t matter. But the fear … that was his objective. And until she stopped being afraid, he would always win.
“Wait. Rick, goddammit. Wait just a minute, okay?”
She stopped, put her hands on her knees, and felt the shakes start, the aftermath of the adrenaline rush. Her breath came in short gasps and she dropped the grocery bag on the ground. It was over and she was fine. She knew that. She just needed a minute for her body to get the memo and steady out.
She heard Rick swear and then his arm came around her. “I’m sorry, Jess. I’m so wound up I don’t know what to do with myself. Take deep breaths. Maybe we both need a few minutes to get ourselves together, huh?”
She focused on breathing and let him pull her into his embrace, working on slowing her heart rate. “You gonna be all right?” he asked roughly.
Jess nodded against his shoulder. “Yeah. Delayed reaction I guess. What you did back there…”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to … I mean, I know you’ve got to be sensitive to violence, but I swear he knew how to push my buttons and…” He cursed again, and she smiled.
“It’s okay. I could see how hard you were trying.”
Rick pulled back a little and looked down into her eyes. There’d been so many emotions today but right now she looked into Rick Sullivan’s face and felt as safe and loved as she’d ever been. He pushed a bit of hair back from her face with his hurt hand. “What makes people like that, do you think?” he asked. “The Greers are normal people. I can’t imagine Mike learned that at home.”
Jess shrugged. His hand felt so good along the side of her face and she reached up and covered it with her own. “I don’t know. I wondered if he had changed, you know? Sometimes I wondered if some things had really happened or if I imagined it. But it did and he hasn’t changed and…” She shivered all over, then took a deep breath and pushed out of his arms a little, determined to be stronger. To not give Mike one more ounce of power over her.
She met Rick’s gaze. “What did you say to him? When I went inside?”
His thumb touched the corner of her mouth and he kissed her, a soft, brief kiss that was tender and healing.
“I told him that I’d already seen hell, and I’d go back there in a heartbeat if it meant protecting you from the likes of him.”
* * *
Sarah was on them the moment they went back inside the house. “What in the world took you so long? We’ve been waiting for ages!”
Jess’s temper flared. “Give it a rest, will you?” She barely had the door shut and someone was in her face. The afternoon had been stressful enough without family getting on her back about something as trivial as dessert. “Here, take your ice cream.”
Sarah’s face registered hurt and Jess felt sorry and yet there were so many emotions swirling around inside her that she wasn’t quite capable of dealing with Sarah’s feelings, too. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Sarah did an about-face and went to the kitchen before Jess could apologize.
“Are you going to be okay?” Rick’s voice was low and concerned. “Do you want to go?”
“I just need a minute. I forgot how chaotic it is when the whole family is together.”
“They care about you.”
She opened her eyes. “I know they do. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me.” He smiled down at her. “I get it, more than you can imagine.”
Jess looked up at him and felt so thankful for him. Rick never pushed. He just accepted and supported. How could that be when he had his own issues? Issues he didn’t talk about, she realized. He knew more of her secrets than she knew of his. Perhaps that was why he was so accepting of her refusal to spill her guts.
Right now she was just grateful he was with her. She walked into his embrace, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling close for a few seconds. “Thanks,” she said, pulling back. “I just needed that for a few moments.”
“Anytime.” He moved his hand off her ribs and winced.
“Damn!” Jess grabbed his hand and examined his knuckles. “I forgot about your hand. Let’s get it cleaned up and get some ice.”
Rick didn’t protest; there was blood drying on his knuckles and the joints were slightly swollen. Jess led him into the kitchen, while the curious eyes of Sarah, Meggie, and Barb followed them. From the shouting coming from the den, Jess figured there’d just been a touchdown. Wordlessly she turned on the cold water and stuck Rick’s hand underneath the spray, washing off the blood.
“What happened?” Meggie was the first to break the silence and come over while the other two women stopped slicing the pie and watched. “Rick, what did you do to yourself?”
“Could you get a bag of ice, please, Mom?” Jess looked up at her mother calmly. Even though she didn’t want to tell the truth, she was starting to realize there might not be a way around it. Just not right this minute, though. She blinked away a few tears as she gently brushed Rick’s knuckles. This was his painting hand, she realized. She looked up at him. “Do you think anything’s broken?”
He shook his head. “Just bruised, I think.” He flexed his fingers a few times. “It all works. Just hurts like the devil.”
Sarah stepped forward. “There’s an ice pack in the freezer. That works better than a bag.” She opened the freezer drawer and took out a blue pouch. “This’ll wrap right around it.” She frowned. “I’ll get Josh. He should have a look at it, make sure you didn’t break anything.”
“Thanks,” Jess said, much calmer now. She took the ice pack, grabbed a dish towel, and wrapped the whole thing around Rick’s hand. “How does that feel?” she asked him.
“Better,” he said.
“Hey, didn’t someone say we were finally having pie? What’s the holdup?” Josh came out of the den before Sarah had a chance to fetch him, grumbling the whole way until he saw Rick standing with his hand wrapped up. “What’d you do to your hand?”
“It’s nothing, just a few split knuckles.”
Josh gaped. “You managed to get in a fistfight going to the store for ice cream? Who the heck with?”
Rick met Jess’s gaze. How could they not answer questions? And yet answering them meant giving explanations. Was she ready for that?
Rick nodded a little, urging her on. “I think you need to tell them. They need to know what’s happening, and why.”
And all Jess wanted to do was pretend it wasn’t happening. But she knew he was probably right. It wasn’t like they were going to get out of the afternoon without some sort of explanation.
“There’s something I need to tell you all,” she said, feeling a little sick to her stomach from simple nerves. “Maybe Matt and Suzie can look
after Alice for a bit?”
Meggie looked alarmed, and so did Aunt Barb. “Josh, why don’t you get the guys,” Rick suggested. “Sarah, why don’t we dish out the pie and sit down?”
Jess was grateful to Rick for taking charge. Barb went to get Mary and Jess heard her offer the kids a few dollars apiece for looking after the baby for a while. Before long everyone had pie and they were sitting around the table. But no one was eating. Jess sat at the head, and without saying a word Rick pulled up a chair and sat beside her in a unified show of support.
A long silence filled the room as Jess struggled to find the right words to say. Rick jumped in, leading off the discussion. “I busted up my hand today when I punched Mike Greer.”
Jaws dropped all around the table.
Rick looked directly at Bryce. “If he comes to you asking for an assault charge, it’s okay. But I don’t think he will. He was pretty threatening and I’m sure he’d like to keep things under the radar. Just giving you the heads-up.”
“Holy crap,” Tom said, frowning. “I never took you for the jealous type, man. I mean, Jess and Mike were over a long time ago.”
Jess’s fingers twisted beneath the table. Clearly everyone did think that she and Rick were a couple. She’d address that later. One revelation at a time.
“It wasn’t jealousy,” Jess said, her voice catching and she cleared her throat. “Mike got in my face. He tried to intimidate me.”
“But you’ve been broken up for years,” Meggie insisted. “Surely he’s over that by now.”
Jess looked over at Josh, whose eyes were soft with understanding.
Rick’s hand slipped over to her thigh and squeezed reassuringly.
She lifted her chin, determined not to look down this time. “When Mike and I were dating … when we moved into the cottage…” Big inhale, long exhale. She could do this. “He was abusive. I didn’t want to face it. I got used to making excuses for him. And he could be so charming. I actually started to believe things were my fault. But then there came a point where I knew I couldn’t stand it anymore. Problem was, I didn’t quite know how to get out of the situation. He was everywhere. My whole family is here. To escape him I would have had to leave Jewell Cove, and yet staying in the same town with him was unthinkable. We got in a fight one night and he…”
She broke off. Fought for air. There wasn’t a sound from the group around the table. They all seemed stunned into silence. Rick’s hand was still on her thigh, though, and when she looked at her brother he gave a small encouraging nod.
“He came at me with a knife.”
Those words unleashed a flurry of responses, both of dismay and anger from her family. She looked over at Rick. He looked down at her tummy and then back up into her face, questioning. He remembered, then. Remembered asking her about the scar the first night they’d made love. This was the part he hadn’t known. She gave a nearly imperceptible nod, and his gaze swiveled to Josh. Jess watched as the two men communicated silently. It wasn’t hard to figure out what was being said.
“Okay, okay,” she said, raising her hands. “Look, I’m fine now. That was the night Mike left town. Mom, remember how I called and said we’d broken up and I was with friends for a few days?”
Meggie nodded, her fingers over her lips. “You sounded so strange. I was relieved the relationship was over, you know. There was always something about Mike that didn’t sit quite right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Oh, honey. I wish I’d known. I could have helped you…”
“Josh helped me. He interrupted us that night and took care of Mike. Josh is the reason Mike left town. Then Josh stitched me up and drove me to a shelter until I was ready to come home again.”
Rick didn’t know all of this either. She felt his gaze on her face as he asked, “The shelter … that’s the real reason you know the director there, right?”
She nodded. “That’s right. Catherine looked after me and got me the help I needed.”
Josh leaned forward and interrupted the group. “Getting back to Rick. I’m assuming you ran into Mike today?”
Jess nodded. “We all know how sick his mother is and that they moved her back here for her last days. Mike and Pam are both home for the holiday. I was hoping to avoid seeing him at all, but no such luck.”
“He was a total asshole,” Rick put in. “All charm and smiles and veiled threats. When it was clear he was trying to intimidate Jess, I stepped in.” He lifted his hand. “It was worth it. He needs to know she’s not alone this time. This is why you all need to know what happened. Maybe he was just blowing off steam. But I think it would be good if Jess’s family had her back.”
There were murmurs of approval around the table. “Of course we will,” Abby said staunchly. “Whatever you need, Jess, you let us know.”
“Thanks, everyone,” Jess answered, overwhelmed by the love and support around the table. “I’ll be fine, though. No need to fuss over me.”
“There’s every need,” Mark replied, and everyone around the table nodded. “Don’t minimize it, Jess.”
Aunt Barb nodded. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know.”
Jess’s lip wobbled a bit. Why had she waited so long? She should have had faith in her family. Should have trusted them to stand beside her.
Should have been less ashamed.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I love you guys.”
A few throats were cleared discreetly, and then Bryce folded his hands on top of the table in front of him. “Do you want a restraining order?”
“That’s not a bad idea.” Rick nodded in agreement.
Jess shifted in her chair and folded her arms. There was support and then there was taking over and that was exactly what she didn’t want. “Look, we all know how effective restraining orders are. It’s just a piece of paper.”
“But if there’s a restraining order, he’ll get busted if he comes around you and I doubt he wants to get arrested. Imagine how his mother would feel knowing her boy was in lockup for that?”
Jess waffled a bit. “That’s true, and I’m not saying I’m not open to the idea.” Indeed, the idea of taking proactive steps was bolstering. It felt better to be in control of a situation. But there were other things to consider. “I wouldn’t want to do that to Karen. She’s got enough on her plate with her illness, and this is about Mike, not her. Besides, I don’t feel like shouting my history around town like a town crier, you know? I’m sure Rick’s reminder was enough to make him back off. Let’s face it, it’s been years since we were together. He’s not really interested in me…”
“You think this is about interest?” Bryce interjected, his brows a hard line. “It’s not and you know it. It’s about control. He lost that control once. He could be really pissed about that.”
If Bryce was trying to scare her, it was working, no matter what she said out loud. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea …
“I’ll think about it,” she repeated. “Besides, I don’t think he’s home for long. There’s probably not much point.” At least that’s what she would continue to tell herself. She wouldn’t let him get to her again.
As she looked around the table, she saw ten members of her family with set expressions of resolve. Suddenly she didn’t feel so alone. Support was close by if she needed it. All those years ago she hadn’t wanted to worry anyone. Besides, her silence was part of the bargain for Mike leaving. It had been worth it.
That agreement no longer held up. Even if she understood the reason, he had come back to town and keeping quiet was no longer a requirement.
“Let’s just eat some pie, okay?” She forced a smile and picked up her fork, though eating was the last thing she wanted to do. “It’s Thanksgiving. We’re all healthy, we’re all together for the first time in ages, and it’s going to be fine.” She scooped up a bit of pecan pie and popped it in her mouth with far more enthusiasm than she felt.
For some reason she felt like she needed to make this okay for her family.
That she had to show them that she was all right and could handle it.
The conversation was far more hushed, but they followed her lead. In the midst of the noise Rick leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Good job,” he said.
“Thanks.” Oddly enough, she did feel better. Maybe the old saying was right. Maybe confession was good for the soul.
CHAPTER 17
It was six o’clock and dark by the time they finally left Sarah’s house. Rick’s hand was throbbing now; the ice pack long gone and the swelling in his knuckles back with a vengeance. Hitting someone in the face with bare knuckles was a lot different than in the movies. Jess pulled into his yard and put the car in park. “Sorry about this afternoon,” she said quietly.
He looked over at her. She was bundled into her fall coat with a soft scarf looped around her neck and matching gloves on her hands. When she’d invited him to dinner he’d had no idea that there’d be so much excitement.
“Don’t apologize. I’m glad I was there.”
“I’m glad you were, too.” She hesitated and then met his gaze. “Rick, I’m really sorry about how I acted last spring and stuff.”
He shook his head, pleased with the apology even though it wasn’t necessary. “I deserved it. I was a mess. Some days I still am.”
“But you’re handling it better.”
“Yeah, I am. I deserved the things you said, Jess. You were right. I think I just had to work through it.”
“I should have helped rather than criticize.”
He smiled then. Did she know how amazing she was? “And you think I would have taken help? I thought you knew me better than that.”
It got a smile out of her anyway. She laughed a little and agreed. “You’re right. Anyway, thank you. For standing up for me. For being beside me when I told everyone. Your support meant a lot.”
He ignored the pain in his hand and reached out, touching the side of her face. “I’ll always be there when you need me,” he replied.
“Rick, I…”
“Do you want to come in, Jess?”
