by J. H. Croix
I didn’t know why, but it rubbed me the wrong way for her to be so startled that I would offer that. Maybe we had gotten off on the wrong start because I’d met her when I had an injured shoulder. I’d seen her as the obstacle to me getting back to work. But I was a decent guy. I’d be happy to take them. It was a beautiful drive.
“Of course I am,” I replied, ignoring the questioning voice in the back of my mind.
I’d just proposed something that could be seen as a date. I had hardly stopped thinking about Charlie since the other night. The only factor keeping this from being an actual date was the fact her mother would be coming along with us. Yet, somehow that also made it feel more intimate.
None of this was in my typical wheelhouse.
Charlie’s eyes narrowed, her gaze sobering. “Look, it’s really nice of you to ask, but this is my mom we’re talking about. It seems…”
I shook my head sharply, her words trailing off when I did. “It’s a gorgeous drive. We can grab lunch down there and spend the day. It’s not a hardship. Believe me. If your mom wants to go, she should see it.” I didn’t say aloud the obvious. There might not be many more years her mother would be able to go.
Charlie was quiet and then a small smile graced her face. “Okay. My mom will love it, and I don’t know where the hell I’m going.”
Chapter Ten
Charlie
“Em, time to go,” I called up the stairs.
I put the last dish in the dishwasher and closed it before hurrying up the stairs to check on my mom. Poking my head around the corner of her bedroom door, I found her sound asleep.
I was considering whether I should wake her up to take her with us. Although the drive over to Emily’s friend’s place wasn’t too far, I worried when my mother was home alone. Even though I’d set up the alert system for the doors, I still worried. Thank goodness she remained functional as far as her daily living activities. She had no trouble with showering, dressing herself, and taking care of her meals. The main worry was her wandering out of the house.
She was sound asleep though and sleeping more and more these days. My heart gave a squeeze of sadness, and I quietly closed the door. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know she would sleep more, given her age and current mental state, yet every sign reminded me of where she was headed and what it meant. It made my heart ache. I jotted her a note and left it on the counter in case she came downstairs while I was gone with Emily.
Returning upstairs, I could hear Emily rustling around in her bedroom and gave a quick knock on the door.
“Come in,” she called.
Opening the door, I found her standing beside her bed, pawing through her backpack.
“Ready?” I asked.
She glanced up. “I can’t find my headphones.”
“You need your headphones?”
Em sighed and then nodded frantically. “Of course I do.”
I wasn’t exactly a technological dinosaur, but I still puzzled over how teens these days would hang out together with their faces glued to their phones and hardly acknowledging each other.
“Where were they last?”
We quickly walked her through her afternoon, and she found them in the bathroom. I got a hug for helping her. Those were a refreshing breath of air to her sullen silences, so I squeezed hard before stepping back.
“Okay, let’s go.”
On the way over to her friend’s place, Emily was quiet, her gaze trained out the window. I was beyond happy she had made a friend. I wanted to comment on it, but I knew she didn’t appreciate comments on social matters.
“So what are you gonna do this weekend?” she asked out of the blue.
Her question startled me. “Actually, I’m going to take grandma down to a bird watching festival, that one she’s been talking about. Jesse offered to take us.”
I was rolling to a stop at a stop sign and felt Emily’s gaze on me. Glancing over, I found her wide eyes staring at me. “What?”
“Wow,” was all she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, that’s kind of a thing.”
“A thing?”
She nodded vigorously. “Uh huh. He likes you. I can’t believe he’s taking you and grandma. That’s, like, really nice.”
I felt my cheeks heat. Because whether or not Jesse liked me, all I could think about was the other night with him. I managed to keep my expression calm, or so I thought. I simply shrugged. Her eyes widened, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.
I kept on driving. Following Janice’s directions, I turned down the driveway to their home.
“Are you guys, like, dating?” Em asked.
Taking a deep breath, I shook my head. “He’s taking us to see the Bird Fest. That’ll be fun for grandma and that’s what matters.”
The driveway wound ahead of us through the trees. Em was quiet for a beat and then spoke again, “How much longer do you think she’ll be able to do stuff like that?”
The driveway ended in a circle in front of the home. Rolling to a stop, I glanced over to her. “I don’t know,” I said softly, emotion tightening in my throat. This was different than the grief of watching my father die and my sister waste away from cancer. It felt as if we were saying goodbye to my mother one piece at a time.
Em’s eyes glistened with tears. I reached across the console and hugged her. She didn’t resist and squeezed me tightly. Leaning away, she sniffled and opened the glove box.
“Why is it called a glove box?” she asked suddenly.
Looking over, I laughed. She needed something to shift the topic, and this did it.
“Because when they invented cars, people wore gloves for driving, and they kept them in the glove box.”
Em seemed to like that, smiling widely as she blew her nose and dragged her sleeve across her eyes. “Okay. Thanks for letting me spend the night here.”
“It’s the whole weekend. Remember?”
Her smile expanded. “I know.”
Leaning over, she kissed my cheek and then hopped out of the car. Watching her walk in, my heart gave a squeeze. I hadn’t quite been prepared to be a parent when Em became mine, yet while I might’ve been fumbling my way through it, I hoped she would be okay.
Later that evening, I was putzing around the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. Striding over, I opened it to find Jesse on the other side. The moment I saw him, butterflies spun in my belly. Because I was that ridiculous.
“Hi,” I said, surprised I even managed that.
He grinned, promptly sending my pulse off to the races again and heat blooming in my core.
“Thought I’d check in and see what time you wanted to leave tomorrow,” he said easily.
I decided not to point out he could’ve simply called or texted. Stepping back, I gestured him inside. “Where’s Waffle?”
“Sound asleep,” he said with a chuckle. “Some days she spends the day with a friend of mine who got one of her puppies. She’s tired after that.”
“Puppies?”
“Oh yeah. When I got her, she turned out to be pregnant. Her puppies are all around town, and a few ended up with friends.”
“Oh.”
I was back to my brilliant conversational skills.
“Where’s your mom?”
“Asleep. She sleeps a lot.”
Wow. Two sentences, including one with more than a single word.
We were still standing by the door. He slipped one hand in his pocket, running the other through his hair. “I suppose that’s good, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t have to worry then. Em is off at her friend’s and tickled to pieces about it.”
Turning away, if only because I needed to do something, I walked toward the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Sure,” he replied. “Beer if you have it.”
“Of course I have it.
I fetched a beer for him and poured myself a glass of wine. He slipped onto one of the stoo
ls by the counter, so I joined him, taking a sip of my wine and wondering just what was in store for us tomorrow.
“So what time should we leave?” I asked.
“Well, I checked the schedule. I’m thinking early if you can handle it, let’s leave at six,” he replied, a gleam in his eyes.
I took a sip of my wine, a grin tugging at the corners of my mouth. “Of course I can handle it. I did eighteen-hour shifts during my residency and slept at the hospital for crying out loud. I can handle getting up at 6 AM. I’m usually up early anyway.”
“And your mom?’ he asked before taking a swallow of his beer.
My eyes flicked to his fingers, remembering the feel of them buried inside of me. Just that thought and slick need coiled inside. I forgot he had asked a question until he arched a brow and cocked his head to the side.
“Oh, she’ll be fine. Even if she’s not awake when we’re ready to go, she gets up easy. She’ll be showered and dressed and ready within about fifteen minutes from when I wake her up.”
“Sounds like a plan then. I figure we’ll get there around ten. We can spend the morning doing the bird thing, maybe have lunch somewhere near the harbor, and then leave by four. That’ll get us back here before it’s too late.”
“There’s a harbor there?”
Jesse cracked a grin. “Of course there is—Otter Cove Harbor. Diamond Creek is on Kachemak Bay, so plenty of boats are in and out of the harbor all day. I’m guessing most of the bird watching happens near the harbor beaches. It’s gorgeous there.”
“My mom will be beside herself.” I paused and took a sip of my wine. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Offering to take us down there. It’ll make her day. Actually, it’ll probably make her year. It’s not like I couldn’t take her myself, but it’s nice to have company. Plus you know where you’re going and I don’t.”
His eyes held mine for a beat. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret what was flickering in their depths. He opened his mouth and then closed it, giving his head a shake. “You’re welcome,” he finally said.
“Another thing,” I said.
He leaned his head back, taking a long swallow of his beer. Leveling his gaze with mine, he asked, “What’s that?”
“I kind of thought you were a jerk at first, but I was wrong.”
I’d been meaning to say something and not just because I totally had the hots for him. I had read him wrong, completely wrong.
For a beat, he looked surprised at my comment, and then a slow grin stretched across his face. “Ah, I had to work for that.”
His words and the look in his eyes sent a flush straight through me.
“Hey, that’s not what I meant.”
He chuckled, sending my belly spinning in into flips. “I know, but you gave me an opening.”
My cheeks got hot. Because that was what Jesse did to me. My body was just all aflutter whenever he was near. Hot and bothered didn’t quite capture it.
“I did,” I finally said unable to keep from giggling.
“Yeah, and then you dumped me as a patient,” he added.
I rolled my eyes. “Hey, I already explained that. How is your shoulder anyway?”
“It’s perfectly fine. Dr. Johnson cleared me for full duty, in case you were wondering.”
“I was actually. I realized today you were probably there for your appointment, but I got distracted.”
“By me?” he asked hopefully.
I burst out laughing. “Maybe, but you were there, so you also know Em had me distracted before I even saw you. Speaking of that, thanks again for connecting me with Kayla’s mom. It’s been hard for Em to make friends since we moved here. She’s on the shy side.”
Jesse nodded. “No problem, it won’t be too long before you know just as many people as I do. Willow Brook’s too small to hide.”
“How long have you lived here?”
“My parents moved here right after I graduated from high school in Fairbanks. I was headed into college and then off to my hotshot training. I only made it here about seven years ago.”
“Fairbanks?”
“Yep, that’s where I grew up. If you can believe it, my parents were tired of the long winters,” he said with a chuckle.
“Well, Fairbanks is a good eight hours north of here. It stands to reason it would be warmer here. That’s the equivalent of going from Boston to, say, Virginia. Virginia’s winters are definitely milder,” I offered.
Jesse watched me, a smile playing at his lips. I wanted to know what he was thinking.
He answered for me when he set his beer down and stood to step between my knees and pulled me close. I bumped into him softly, my nipples tightening the moment they met the hard planes of his chest. No matter what I told myself I should or shouldn’t do, when it came to Jesse, my body had its own ideas.
“What?” I asked.
“I love how smart you are,” he murmured, lifting a hand and sliding his fingers through my hair.
“I was just making an observation about the distance,” I murmured.
“Oh, I know. It just made me think. You’re that kind of person. You always look things up and check on them. I bet you were a straight-A student, weren’t you?”
With his fingers sifting through my hair and his thumb brushing along my neck, I was terribly distracted. Goose bumps prickled on my skin and my channel clenched.
It didn’t seem to matter whether it was rational, I wanted Jesse. Badly. In the back of my mind, a part of me was worried—worried that I was letting myself even think about this, that I was letting myself even act on this.
I tried to tell myself it was nothing more than lust. But no man before even came close to the way I felt about Jesse. There was also the reality I’d been practically living like a nun the last few years. During medical school, I’d been insanely busy. Then my sister got diagnosed with cancer, so that tied me up emotionally and logistically. In the midst of that, my father had a stroke. During my last year of residency, it felt as if everything fell apart. The only point of sanity in my life was my residency, and I’d buried myself in it. They died within six months of each other, my father going first and then my sister Karen. Sex hadn’t even been on my radar.
I completely lost track of what Jesse said. Glancing up to him, I bit my lip. “I forgot what you said.”
His eyes searched my face, his mouth hitching up at one corner. Oh geez, his grins were just dangerous. “I asked if you were a straight-A student in school,” he murmured, sliding his hand down to cup the back of my neck.
I could feel his arousal at the apex of my thighs where he stood between my knees. I distantly knew he was asking about my grades—a rather pointless topic—and yet it felt as if an entirely separate conversation was happening between our bodies.
“I was,” I finally managed to say, the second word coming out with a gasp when he slid his hand down my spine to cup my ass and rocked his arousal into me.
“I think I should go,” he said.
“Why?”
My question just slipped out, and I suddenly wondered if I’d gotten this all wrong. I didn’t know what expression he saw on my face, but he shook his head quickly.
“Don’t be thinking now. The problem is I’m about this close—“ he held up his thumb and forefinger with a tiny sliver of space between them — “to tearing your clothes off and bending you over this counter. But your mother’s upstairs, and it doesn’t feel quite right.”
Oh, how I wanted to argue the point with him. Because his words sent a rush of need through me. I wanted to drag him to bed right now. I knew just as well as he likely did that my mom could wake up at any time. It wasn’t that I needed her permission, or anything ridiculous like that. But, I’d rather her know about us instead of meandering down to the kitchen and finding us fucking each other.
“Oh,” I managed, just before his palm swept up my spine. He laced his fingers into my hair and brought his mouth to mine. In a flash, h
is tongue was tangling with mine, and his palm was cupping my cheek. He kissed me as if he couldn’t get enough, while I kissed him back as if he was the very air I needed to breathe.
In this moment, he was.
He pulled away far too quickly. I felt bereft when he drew back. He didn’t step away, not just yet. His eyes coasted over mine.
What he said next startled the hell out of me.
“I like you, Charlie. I don’t want you to think this is just about sex for me.”
My mouth must’ve fallen open because he smiled. “I’m not a jerk. I think I’ve made that clear.”
“Oh I don’t think you’re a jerk, I just didn’t expect you to say that,” I finally said. My thoughts whirred in my mind—a mix of desire, want, and uncertainty. This felt so, so good, and yet my life felt so, so messy. “My life is, um, kind of complicated.”
“I noticed, but I don’t give a damn.”
When he stepped away, I literally had to hold myself back from following him. He smiled. “6 o’clock. I’ll be here. Should I bring coffee?”
“Let’s stop and get some at Firehouse Café.”
“Perfect.” At that, he spun away and winked just before he closed the door behind him.
Chapter Eleven
Charlie
The following morning, my mother and I were ready to go just a few minutes before 6 o’clock. My mother was beside herself to learn where we were going. I’d told her last night, but she’d forgotten. She had better and worse days. Today appeared to be one of the better ones so far. Her eyes were clear and she was on track.
When Jesse knocked on the door, she beat me to it, swinging it open and gracing him with a wide smile. “Good morning, Jesse. Are you ready?”
He flashed a grin. “Of course I’m ready. I’m here on time.” Glancing to his watch, he caught my eyes when he looked up. “I’m actually three minutes early.”
This delighted my mother. With a laugh, she spun around to grab her jacket off the coat rack.
