by Franca Storm
I felt like absolute shit.
I hadn’t been able to go back to sleep after Ashley’s interruption last night.
That, coupled with my pounding head, courtesy of the hangover trying to pull me under from way too much bourbon, had me fantasizing about crawling back into bed and shutting out everything and everyone for the next week.
Given that wasn’t possible with everything I had on my plate, I just had to suck it up and get a grip.
I was pretty sure I was going to be in for it with her this morning. I deserved it with the dickish way I’d tossed her out so abruptly.
There just hadn’t been time to warn her or explain before I’d shoved her out of my room. I’d had to put immediate distance between us. For her own good. I’d been right on the edge.
I’d had to protect her from me, because in that moment when our lips had clashed, I’d wanted her. Those soft lips of hers, her tantalizing taste, her intense responsiveness to the slightest touch from me. The heady combination had shot my good sense to hell.
She called to me in a way I’d never experienced before.
I wanted to believe it was just the fallout from going so long without getting my dick wet. But the truth was, I hadn’t felt the need to seek out anyone else to take the edge off. I’d been fine taking matters into my own hands. But, Ashley, fuck, she’d had me hard for her in an instant. I’d wanted to devour every inch of her, lay her down, spread her open to me and fuck her with my tongue until she was coming apart around me. Just the thought of sinking inside her, her walls squeezing my cock so fucking tight while those sweet moans she’d made last night sounded in my ears, almost had me coming down the shower drain.
But I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
I’d told her she was safe here. My home was her sanctuary.
It was even more than just her father’s orders to protect her. She had an uncanny ability of awakening some sort of white knight complex in me. Knight? I was more like the villain who would sully everything good in her if I allowed her to get any closer to me, either physically or emotionally.
The most confounding thing about all of it was that she wasn’t even my usual type. She was so innocent. So soft. Her kindness and her determination to help me and try to ease my pain was something I wasn’t used to. No one showed concern for me. Not that I wanted anyone to. I couldn’t afford to be that openly intimate with anyone. It was just that I had no idea how to handle it. People didn’t give a fuck about me. Hell, most didn’t really consider me human. More like a stone-cold robot, or the devil, himself, above it all.
I could only hope that last night had put her off pushing it any further. The last thing she needed was to get mixed up with the likes of me.
I was a dangerous man. A twisted man.
It was who I’d always be.
That much had been made clear to me after what I’d dealt out yesterday to those enforcers.
Some things couldn’t be taken back. Especially the things I’d done, the atrocities I’d committed.
Once that depth of darkness crept into your soul, no amount of redeeming light could get it out.
I was a lost cause.
Fuck.
I switched off the shower and pushed open the frosted glass door that was obscured even more than usual with a thick veil of condensation from my overly-hot shower.
I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking out the excess water, before snatching a black cotton towel off the towel rail. I secured it around my waist and then unlocked the bathroom door.
Locking the bathroom door when I lived alone seemed a little paranoid. But, given my previous profession, and with all the enemies at my back, it was simply good sense.
Opening the door, I stepped out into the hallway.
The second I turned, I collided hard with another body.
A soft, female gasp activated an automatic protective response in me and I threw out my hands.
They found soft, heated skin.
I looked down to see that I was grasping Ashley’s arms. Judging by the positioning of her body, I’d just managed to stop her from falling back.
“Thanks,” she said, her voice breathy and unsteady. “I probably would’ve landed on my ass.”
The corner of my mouth quirked into a nervous smile. Nervous, because my reaction to touching her didn’t sit well with me. While my head knew that wanting her was off the table, my body clearly hadn’t gotten that message.
“Sorry,” I said, hastily releasing her arms and stepping to the side so there was a good distance between us. “I wasn’t paying attention.” I wasn’t used to having to. I didn’t entertain guests in my home.
I watched her mouth open and I knew she was speaking to me, but my focus was drawn elsewhere.
To the tiny lavender slip she was wearing.
The hem rested high on her silky thighs, too high to escape my notice. The material was so thin that I could make out her little nipples pushing against it, along with the outline of her full, perky breasts. When I’d picked her clothes up for her, the thing hadn’t looked that… appetizing. But on her delectable body, all bets were off.
I quickly drew my eyes away, conflicted, because the way her breasts were rising and falling from her every breath was enthralling beyond belief and a part of me didn’t ever want to look away. But the saner, more logical part of me new better than that.
The struggle worsened when I caught her eyes sweeping over me. A blush painted her cheeks. She was checking me out.
I glanced down at myself and quickly got a reminder that I was standing in front of her wet and half-naked, just a thin towel covering my lower body.
I took another step back and gestured to the bathroom. “Something wrong with the one in your room?”
“It only has a bath, not a shower. I’m not really the bath type.”
“Right. I see. Go right ahead.”
“Thanks.”
She moved past me, only to stop just before she entered the bathroom. “Finn? About last night…”
I held up my hand. “Forget it. It was a regrettable moment of weakness.”
“Regrettable?” she uttered in a small voice.
“Yeah. Let’s just put it behind us and start fresh.”
The look on her face cut right through me. Her stunning gray eyes swept over me, studying me with confusion for several moments.
“Ashley?” I called. “All right? Got it?”
“Whatever,” she muttered, before pushing her way into the bathroom, then slamming the door so hard behind her that I thought it was going to tear from its hinges.
Dammit.
The last thing I wanted was her hurting because of me. But if I took things further with her and fed the attraction between us, a brief moment of hurt would become a fucking lifetime of agony for her.
That was all I brought to anyone I cared about.
I was doing it for her own good.
Her own protection.
Protection from me.
8
~Ashley~
ELATION COURSED THROUGH ME.
My hand moved across the notebook, almost of its own accord as I let my imagination and passion for creating guide me.
I’d been making the most of being stuck in the house all day while Finn had been working on God knew what all morning. He’d then spent two whole hours wailing on a punching bag in the basement. The room wasn’t soundproofed and I’d been able to hear the repetitive thumps, his fists and feet smacking into it over and over. He had some major stamina, that was for sure.
And, clearly, a lot of things to work out of his system.
“What’s that?”
I jolted, only just managing to catch my notebook before it hit the floor. “Crap,” I breathed, looking up to see Finn standing over me, his eyes riveted on one of my designs.
“It’s an idea for my company logo.” I smiled to myself as I read the text. “TRUE INK. It’s a silly dream I’ve had since art school.”
“To open your own tattoo parlor?” he queried, perceptively.
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “But, like I said, it’s just a dream.”
“Why? I’ve seen some of your stuff. You’re really good.”
I slammed my notebook closed and blew out a breath. “Every time I try to settle down somewhere, trouble with my dad’s club tears me away. It’s never safe anywhere for me for very long. I can uproot my life on a whim when it’s just me, but I couldn’t do that with my own business. I can’t exactly move that with me, can I? A physical structure?”
Finn shook out his sweat-drenched tank, fanning himself. It was almost completely see-through and I could make out his pecs and sexy abs beneath. He moved closer, his sweatpants straining to contain his muscular thighs. I swallowed hard and cast my eyes downward. I needed to get a hold of myself. My libido always seemed to rage completely out of control when I was around him. But, after what’d happened a couple of nights ago, there was no way I was going down that road with him again. It’d been humiliating beyond belief.
“You understand that this threat is a different breed, right?” he said. “Knox and his Rogue Riders are so dangerous, because many of them used to be members of the Iron Kings MC. It means they know the ins and outs of every aspect associated with it, making your father and his members far more vulnerable than they would ever be otherwise.”
“Yeah, I know. Your point being?”
“Once they’re dealt with, being around Iron Kings will be safe. With them looking out for you, it’s likely the safest place you could ever be. You could set up your business in their town and never have to worry about needing to uproot again. You would always be safe, because you’d be right there on their turf.”
“I can’t.” I grimaced at the memories. “My dad isn’t just protective, he’s majorly overbearing. When I did live in Ridgefield with him, before going off to art school, he suffocated me. He wouldn’t give me the space to live my life how I saw fit. He had his club monitor where I went, what I did, how much I drank, any man who looked my way. It was awful.”
“You’re older now. It might be different this time.”
“Maybe,” I murmured, wholly unconvinced.
“Put your book down and come with me,” he ordered all of a sudden.
“What? Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
I rose to my feet and followed his lead as he led me from the living room, along a corridor and down the basement stairs. He stopped in front of a boxing bag in the center of an impressively-sized home gym.
Oh.
“Finn, my dad taught me how to defend myself when I was a kid.”
He folded his chiseled inked arms across his chest, his biceps bulging. Oh crap. I shifted my weight, uncomfortable with the tingling sensation that just that small action was causing within me.
“Either he held back when he trained you, or you’re rusty.”
“Excuse me?”
“You were in the worst position imaginable when I burst in on you and those enforcers. Your defense was next to none. In fact, you were striking a submissive stance. And those scissors were next to useless in your inexperienced hands.”
Wow. “Well, those maniacs were twice my size!”
“Size isn’t the be all and end all,” he argued.
The idea of him training me, our bodies touching and getting all sweaty and overheated in such close proximity had the tension I felt between us ramping up. It took its toll and it had me bursting out laughing as I ran with his unintended innuendo. “Are you sure size isn’t everything?”
He shook his head at me. “That wasn’t what I meant, dirty girl.” He snatched up a pair of gray boxing gloves and closed the distance between us. “I didn’t know you had that in you.”
“I figured as much.” It came out much more biting than I’d intended. I was still sore about what’d happened in his bedroom, more than I’d really let myself acknowledge.
He started to help me into the gloves, but I jerked away, snatching them from him and seeing to it myself. I wasn’t totally helpless. I knew how to put on a pair of frigging boxing gloves, for hell’s sake!
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Ashley. I’m just doing what needs to be done to protect you.”
I knew he wasn’t talking about the threat hanging over my head. No. He meant him. “The Rogues threat aside, what makes you think I need your protection?”
“I just know.”
“And I know, Finn. As shocking as it may seem to you, I do know what I’m doing. I’m not the naïve little fool of a girl that you and my dad seem to think I am.”
He stepped up to me, barking, “I’m almost twice your age, woman! I’m a bad man! I’m twisted! You need someone your own age, someone who’s not fucked beyond belief!”
“I never wanted anyone until I met you!”
His eyes shot wide and he jerked back as if I’d just slapped him. “Fuck.”
“I’m not as innocent as you seem to think. You don’t need to treat me with kid gloves. I’m the daughter of a MC president, Finn. I’ve seen things. Bad things. And, for the record, I’m well aware of what you used to do for a living.”
He eyed me intently. “Yeah, I was a killer, Ashley.” He gestured around the room. “Everything you see here. My home. All of it. It’s all built on blood and death. That’s the kind of man that I am. Twisted.”
“A twisted man wouldn’t act as someone’s bodyguard. A twisted man wouldn’t have the loyalty that you do towards my dad, wouldn’t feel that sense of brotherhood.” I squeezed his arm. “A twisted man wouldn’t treat me so sweetly. And he certainly wouldn’t have tossed me from his room with the misguided intention of protecting me from himself.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face, a wry smile playing on his lips. “Damn, you’re argumentative.”
“You know I’m right. You’re a good man. Your intentions have always been good. That’s why you joined the military in the first place, wasn’t it? You are good, Finn.”
“I killed two guys just a few days ago, Ashley.”
“As you said, you didn’t have a choice. There was no sick pleasure in it. I know that’s why you suffered those nightmares that very same night. You were traumatized over having to do it.”
I could see him thinking on it.
For a moment, I really thought I’d managed to get through to him.
But then he said, “If you get pulled into my orbit, you’ll never find your way back out of the dark. That’s all I am. Darkness. You’re seeing something in me that doesn’t exist.”
“You’re wrong.”
He shrugged as if it wasn’t the major deal that it actually was.
And then he became all business, as he gestured for me to follow him to an empty space on the gym floor.
Muttering my displeasure, I trudged over to him.
He assumed a fighting stance. “All right. Try to hit me.” He winked. “I’m sure you want to right now.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not doing that.”
“Ashley,” he said, sternly. “Fucking well hit me.”
I shrank back. “You’re not even wearing pads. I could seriously hurt you.”
He chuckled. “You won’t.” Gesturing the length of his body, he said, “This is all muscle.”
Cocky bastard. He was right, though. I slapped my hands to my hips. “Yeah? Well, what about your face?”
“I really doubt you’ll manage to land a hit, but, if you do, I’ll just wipe up the blood.”
I screwed up my face at the awful thought. “I don’t want to make you bleed.”
He stepped into me and gently grasped my chin, tilting my head to meet his intense gaze. “I’m not going to rest easy until I teach you a few tricks, so I’m confident you can hold your own against someone of my size. I need you safe, Ashley.”
I cocked an eyebrow.
Clearing his throat and releasing me abruptly, he quickly backpedaled, “Because of the mission. Your fat
her needs you safe and it’s my duty to ensure it.”
I didn’t believe his explanation for a second.
He’d meant himself.
He’d slipped up.
He cared about me, beyond the scope of my protection detail and he’d failed to contain it.
“Finn, I—”
He cut in, “Let’s do this.”
I shook my head and made a break for it, but he moved so quickly, blocking my path. Looming down like the formidable force he was, he said, “No. There’s no running away in this gym. No cowering.”
“Stop it.”
“This is about more than not wanting to hurt me.” He didn’t pose it as a question. He was so sure. Urgh. Why was he always so incredibly perceptive?
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m not.”
“Just drop it,” I said, making a move to dodge past him.
But he was too fast, blocking my path once again.
For a big guy, he was shockingly quick on his feet.
“Tell me why,” he pushed.
He was aggravating me. It had me snapping, “It scares me, okay? The idea of doing this in case I come up against Knox Price. I can’t bear thinking about it, even acknowledging that it could be a possibility.” I blew out a heavy breath. “Just thinking about being so close to him, enough where he could lay a hand on me, terrifies me.”
“Ashley—” he began.
But I wasn’t done. “And I hate it! I hate feeling that way. I hate that he made me a victim, that he took my mom from me, that he betrayed my dad, that he’s trying to hurt us all over again!”
“There,” he said.
“What?”
“That’s what you need to draw on. That anger. Focus on that, rather than the fear. Anger is power.”
His words hit home.
They had me finally acknowledging something I’d tried so hard to push deep down for a very long time.
I needed to stop running.
I had to stop hiding from who I really was.
The daughter of a MC president.
I shifted my weight. “All right. Let’s do this,” I said, raising my fists.
Finn beamed at me. “Good girl.”
God. Those two words sent a tingle down my spine.
