Billy’s motorcycle looked as if it had been carved from some gigantic metal stone. Light glimmered off every surface, reflecting distorted images back toward the passing town and inviting you to sit on the black leather seat and hang on to the waist of a man while the wind whipped you into submission. The bike rumbled beneath them, loud enough to get the attention of anyone who drove by and elicited dirty looks from half the town.
Billy pulled the bike into a spot in front of the Magic Bean cafe, directly across from the massive square of hundred-year-old red brick that comprised the courthouse. The figure of a young man was sprawled out on the sun-bleached concrete steps that led to the main floor offices. Feet kicked out, he leaned against the back step, elbows up, smoke swirling from his cigarette.
The sculpture came to life, the growl of the bike jolting him from a kind of stone sleep. He raised, standing and flipping the cigarette onto the pale concrete and grinding it beneath his boot. He marched toward the cafe and she urged Billy inside, turning from Skylar as if she hadn’t noticed him.
The tables were slick white melamine with silver banding around the edges and had napkin holders that looked like juke boxes. Large picture windows framed the town square, making it look like something out of a rerun from the fifties.
Billy Charlie filled up the whole bench on one side, so she slid in across from him and said, “You blond brute, why couldn’t you move over?”
He spread his arms along the back of the seat and laughed. “Well, I figured you’d rather have the view,” he said, peeking out the window, flashing tiny white crescent moons along the undersides of his forearms as he brought them to rest on the table.
She caught sight of Skylar, sauntering across the steamy pavement in a vapor of thermal undercurrent that made him look like an apparition.
“So you told your mom?” she said, knowing behind the smile was an old wound that had never quite healed and now was split open again, for good this time.
“How’d you know?” Billy backed away from the table and slid down into the vinyl covered bench.
“She’s at my house, crying on my mom’s shoulder.”
“I tried to talk to her, but she won’t listen. All she can do is worry about what the ladies’ auxiliary will think or if she’s gonna get booted out of church. She threatened to throw me out. I’ve been paying the bills for two years and she’s gonna throw me out.”
“She thinks you have a boyfriend.”
“Pshh. I can’t live in the shadows fearing that my happiness rests on whether or not the people here can deal with it. It’s a matter of time before I get my ass kicked, now.”
“Somebody would have to be pretty stupid to try and kick your ass, blondie.”
Billy flashed a used car salesman kind of smile. One that said what he was saying and what he was selling were two very different things.
“I just wish they’d try to see things from my view.”
She didn’t have words for that.
The motion of the door opening reflected in the glass behind Billy. Somewhere in her gut, in that primal place where the basest things reside, she felt him. He came in on a rush of hot wind, dressed in black jeans and t-shirt, a black fedora that had ragged strips of multi-colored fabric wrapped around the band. Today, his eyes were rimmed with kohl, electrifying their piercing blue color.
She trembled beneath the weight of his presence in spite of herself and thrummed her fingers on the table. He approached the counter without so much as a glance her way, said something to the cashier and then slapped his ticket and some cash onto the counter, grabbed for the paper bag that contained his order, and stormed out the door.
“Geez. He’s fire, but geez.” Billy Charlie smirked. “He seemed all right when he came to pick up his truck. Now, whatever could be the matter with him today?”
“Something isn’t right with that boy. He’s fine one minute and the next, he’s a totally different person.”
“Like I said, Edie, the view,” he said. “That ass, though.”
She giggled because he was right. Skylar was beautiful, but he also tugged at things within her that she hadn’t figured out yet. And she was afraid that he would expect certain things from her that she wasn’t sure she was ready to give. Sure, she’d made out with a couple of the guys from her youth group at summer camp, but that only amounted to awkward kisses and one of them putting his hand up her shirt. It wasn’t what Skylar would want, would expect from her.
She couldn’t deny that her heart swelled whenever he was near. And that maybe she wanted it just as much as he did.
“You’re just being chicken.”
“No, careful.”
“Don’t be too careful.”
“What about you, Billy? Who is this mystery man your mother thinks you’re seeing but that you’re lying to me about?”
His expression changed and he became somber. “Can’t tell you.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Can’t. He’s married.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“Nope. That’s part of why I need to get out of here. He’s closeted, he’s never, ever going to tell his wife, so there’s no chance. Can’t believe I let myself get into this mess in the first place.”
Billy rubbed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been a very good friend to you, Edie.”
“Billy,” she said, “you’re my number one, ya know?”
Billy Charlie nodded toward the window. Skylar was across the street, sitting on the front steps of the courthouse. “Go on.”
“What?”
“Do something crazy for once in your life for God’s sake and go after him.”
“No way, he’s acting like an ass.”
“He’s got it for you, Edie. Can’t you see that?”
**
Heat radiated up from the pavement in an instant flash of moisture that covered her entire body. She crossed to meet him, with him staring through her as she walked.
“Billy fixed your truck?”
“For now. Says it needs to be overhauled. He the best friend?”
His tan skin glinted, his handsome still little boy face screwed up into an unasked question. His full mouth opened then silently closed as if he changed his mind.
“Yeah, Billy’s great.”
“Looked like you two fit together pretty well on his bike. You always hang on to him like that?”
“Yeah, if I don’t wanna fall off.”
There was a breath, then, “Give me your number.”
“Why?”
“Why not?”
“I’ll see you around. I’ll come by.”
“Give me your number. I’m not letting you get out of it. Give me your number.”
“Again, why?”
“Edie, did it ever occur to you that I might wanna see you apart from just running into you on the street and watching you hang onto other guys?”
She knew what he was asking, and she could not deny that she would like to spend time with him, real time where he’d come to trust her and show her the man he was inside, but deep down she knew Randall would never allow it. After what she saw in his study, she was truly afraid of her father for the first time in her life.
10
Her sister sat in front of the mirror at a little vanity table they’d been given for Christmas one year. God only knew why they were gifted with it, they were never allowed to wear makeup.
Sara Beth drew a thick, black line across one eyelid and then sat back, admiring her handiwork. The black against the green of her eyes made her more cat-like even than her natural predisposition to it, and older.
“You’d better do that somewhere else,” Edie warned, folding a long skirt in half and threading it through a hanger.
“Why?”
“Randall sees that on your face and you’ll be grounded. Again.”
“Sheesh.”
“Hey, don’t kill the messenger. Take this.”
Edie tossed a sm
all, zippered pouch that she had been using to smuggle makeup and sometimes, cigarettes.
“Take it with you. I’ll pick up another.”
“Thanks.” Sara Beth began stuffing tubes and eyeshadow palettes into the bag. “So, you gonna see that Skylar again?”
Edie shrugged, still unsure of her feelings for Skylar.
“You should give him another chance.”
“Why’s that?”
“’Cause that boy could melt a glacier and you can’t deny it.”
Edie’s face flushed and Sara Beth laughed.
“We’ll see. I have to go to the pharmacy, I’m out of allergy pills.” Without those allergy tablets, she got to looking like one of those overinflated balloons you see at parades. “Wanna walk with me?”
“Hell no. Jackson Murphy is meeting me at the corner. Speaking of that, what time is it?”
“Ten till twelve, why?”
“Shit. I gotta run, sis.”
Sara Beth breezed out the door and along the hall and no one seemed to notice her at all. Edie always felt like she was breaking out of Alcatraz and that at any moment, sirens and barking dogs would be dispatched to deal with her.
The minute her hand landed on the doorknob, she heard the raised voices coming from the den. Her parents had been in an ongoing argument for days now.
“I should’ve known better. I should’ve known when your father sent you off to the army.”
“I enlisted, he didn’t send me anywhere.”
“I knew. God help me, I did. Why, Randall? Why couldn’t you just let it go?”
“It’s not like I can just turn it off.”
“You bastard!”
She dared to peek around the corner of the wall that divided the living room and the kitchen and saw them facing each other in front of his study. Unwilling or unable to go any closer, she watched from the shadows. Randall’s hands were trembling, but his voice dripped sweetly.
“Bastard? I have done everything for you. Went to seminary, for you. Gave up any hope of happiness, for you. For you and Edie. And for what? To save face? To keep hidden?”
“Randall, you mustn’t think of it that way. It is the Lord’s will for you to lead this fold, to bring in the lost and hold tight to the found. You know that.”
“If I’m a bastard, honey, it’s because you made me into one. Don’t ask me for anything else. You got it all.”
Edie slipped out the back door before they noticed her.
She saw the blue pickup parked outside as soon as she rounded the corner and debated about going in. She really, really didn’t want to run into Skylar buying condoms or something, she thought, but then derided herself because he could’ve been buying anything.
Quit being a baby. All you want to do is argue with him.
That was a lie. And that was the problem. Even though she tried to hold herself to more open-minded standards, the ingraining of shame and guilt was difficult to shut out. She still heard the bible verses in her mind about lust and all manner of sins of the flesh every time she so much as glanced at Skylar. It forced her to admit that she was, at least, very attracted to him and that his particular brand of crazy, whatever that was, was appealing to her.
Promising herself that she would cut Skylar some slack and not, under any circumstances, argue with him if she ran into him, she walked into the store. She tried to hold her head high, casually picked up a box of the allergy tablets she came for, and raced toward the checkout.
She saw his hat over the top of the shelves and the nosedive her heart did into her stomach nearly knocked her over. At that point, she knew she would have to go and say something to him. She couldn’t walk out without a word and have him see her and think that she was avoiding him.
Why would I? I have just as much right or reason to be here as he does. Don’t make more of it than it is.
Watching him from the end of the aisle, she saw him pace from one end to the other. He was visibly upset as he pilfered through pantiliners and maxipads and she immediately thought he was probably looking for a pregnancy test.
Thoughts of him living in the same house with three girls burned in her mind. Just friends. I’ll bet, she thought, then got angry with herself for her own pettiness.
“Skylar?” she asked.
“Hi, Edie. Um, how are you?”
“Better than you, I think. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just picking up some of these things for Rix.”
“She can’t get that stuff herself?”
“Not today she can’t,” he snapped. She noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the two-day old shadow that made him look so much older than he was. “Sorry.”
His abrupt tone jarred her and now she wished she hadn’t made the attempt to speak to him.
“Well, I was just going to say hello. I gotta go.”
“Wait.” Skylar took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. The warm scent of the wool saturated by his shampoo and just him, wafted through the space between them and made her mouth water. “I need help. We need help.”
She shook herself out of it in time to ask, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Rix,” he whispered, leaning closer, “I think she’s having a miscarriage.”
“What makes you say that?” An immediate surge of images infiltrated her mind as she contemplated what was happening to Rix and she remembered the argument at the party and the hard knock she took.
“She’s bleeding. A lot. And she’s hurting.”
“She needs to go to the doctor,” she said. “Now.”
“Can’t afford it.”
“You know she could die, right? If she gets an infection or the bleeding doesn’t stop…there are reasons to go to the doctor,” Edie whispered, searching the aisle for busybodies.
“Help me.” The look of despair in those blue pools tugged her away from any misgivings she had about getting involved.
“These aren’t going to cut it,” she said, nodding toward the maxipads and tampons. “She needs adult diapers. Probably some ibuprofen.”
“Thanks.”
“Is she running a fever?”
“I don’t know,” Skylar said, shrugging helplessly.
“I’ll go with you.”
He opened the door and Edie got into the blue truck. For some reason, being closed inside the cab of that old truck made her want to crawl into his lap. She mentally scolded herself for not being focused on Rix.
Rix lay on an old leather sofa in the living room, covered in blankets and shivering. “She definitely has a fever.”
Edie went over and sat beside her. “You need to go the hospital, Rix. You have an infection.”
Rix was unresponsive and that scared her. “She needs medicine. I think we have some penicillin at the house left over from Sara Beth’s wisdom tooth surgery. You stay with her. Do not leave her. Get a cold washcloth and keep it on her head. It won’t do much for the fever, but it’ll let her know you’re here.”
“Take the truck.”
“I don’t drive. It won’t take long. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Edie texted Billy for a ride before she had even taken a look at Rix. Billy knew her well enough to know that she would not ask in the middle of a workday unless it were an emergency. He was waiting across the street from Skylar’s house and never asked the first question.
She had asked him to wait on the bike. It would only take a minute for her to grab the medicine and return.
“Mrs. Wheeler says you were at a party at the old Hanson place the other night, is that so?” Randall blocked her path to the door.
“I went for a few minutes, that’s all.”
“You think since you’re eighteen that you can go off whoring around town?”
“I can’t talk about this with you right now, they need me.” Edie moved to bypass her father and he shoved her back into the living room.
“Have you been over to that house with him?” he yelled.
“Yes, I h
ave, and I am going back there now. He needs my help.”
“No, I forbid it. You take yourself back to your room. Until you come to your senses, you will go to church and school and that is it. Do I make myself clear? I won’t have you making a fool out of me,” he yelled, the veins in his forehead near to bursting.
“You’re doing a pretty good job of that yourself, Randall,” Billy Charlie said, stepping through the door.
“This is none of your concern, Billy. Now, if you don’t mind, I was having a conversation with my daughter.” Randall rubbed the back of his hand through the bandage, said, “What can he possibly give you?”
“I don’t want anything from him. I just want to be with him.”
He moved to block the doorway and prevent Billy and Edie from leaving. Billy put his face up close to Randall’s and said, “You gotta stop telling people how to live their lives, Randall. Let’s go, Edie.”
Randall’s face fell and his eyes became wet at Billy’s reproval. He slid out of the way and disappeared into his study.
“Help me get her in the tub. We’ve got to get that fever down.”
Skylar’s eyes grew round and he said, “She’ll kill me if she finds out I saw her naked.”
“We’ll leave her underwear on. Who cares, anyway? She’s in bad shape. Now help me with her pants first.”
Edie pulled them down and then Skylar, still leery of Rix coming to, quickly grabbed them and shucked them off her feet. Edie made him hold Rix upright while she took off her shirt. Together, they lifted her into the tub and Edie knelt beside it to make sure Rix’s face didn’t go in the water.
“How do you know about all this stuff?”
“Mission trips. Not a lot of doctors or hospitals in third world countries. You learn to make do.”
“I’ll take you home, if you want.”
“I’ll stay with her. I don’t sleep much anyway.”
Edie had fallen asleep sitting in the floor with her head propped against the arm of the sofa. Skylar was snoring in an armchair near a set of bay windows that overlooked the street. Rix began to stir some as Edie touched her forehead, hoping that the fever was gone. Cool to the touch, she breathed a sigh of relief knowing that her patient was out of the woods.
The Color of My Native Sky Page 5
