“What do you mean I see him pretty often?”
“Don’t you see him just about every day?”
“Did he say something?”
“I think you did. You said he says hi to Maddy every morning, right? He’s mentioned you, but we don’t sit around and discuss you, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“I don’t think that. Why would I think that? Sorry, it’s just been a long, hot day and it feels weird having this house to myself. I’m not used to it yet. I’m glad you came over, Nic.”
“Me, too. I meant it when I said we need to see each other more. And it’s not just because Winston is across the street. Here, let me refill that for you.”
“Maybe I should slow down.”
“Why? You don’t have to drive.”
“You’re welcome to stay if you like.” Jess added, “Unless you need to get back across the street.”
“I’m good for now.”
“Really?”
Nicole smiled again. She positively glowed. “I’ll just say I didn’t just stop over there for Chinese food. I had all of my needs met.”
Jess couldn’t help blushing. Lots of dirty thoughts filled her mind. She tried not to picture her friend in bed with Winston, but it was impossible. She could see Nicole’s pale arms and legs wrapped around his broad, dark back while he pumped inside of her. Of course, in that image it just as easily could have been Jess’s limbs wrapped around him. As soon as Nicole refilled her glass, Jess took a long sip from it.
“But he’s not boyfriend material?”
“You know how I feel about that sort of thing right now.”
“But if a great guy comes along?”
“Sure, if I am swept off of my feet, then yes, I’ll change my mind.”
“But no sweeping with Winston?”
“What do you want to know? He is amazing. He’s funny, smart, he can be sweet. He’s a little unconventional, which is right up my alley. And holy crap, is he amazing in bed.”
Jess’s eyes went wide as she stared at her friend.
“He’s hot, that’s obvious, but not every guy lives up to the packaging, y’know? Winston is everything you think he’d be. He really knows what he’s doing. And yeah, he fits the stereotype,” Nicole gushed.
“The stereotype?” Even as the words left her mouth, Jess realized what her friend meant and wished she hadn’t asked. She did not need to be discussing Winston’s dick.
“He’s big, hon. Not so big he’ll hurt you, because he knows what he’s doing, but big enough to blow your mind and give you the Big O.”
Jess sat there, stunned, as she thought about what Nicole said. Honestly, she had never given size much thought. In her experience—not that she had a ton—most guys were roughly the same. Sure, when she was younger friends would talk about the guys they were dating and whether they had enough down there, but she shied away from those conversations because she had no desire to sit there and discuss such intimate details.
As she got older, Jess became less uptight, but by then she was a married woman and it seemed crude to talk about her husband that way. She had no idea if Kyle was large. All she knew was that it felt good to her, and that was all she was concerned about. But now she tried to picture something bigger. And because they were discussing Winston, something darker. She really had no frame of reference. Jess felt impossibly sheltered and wondered if her experienced friend thought she was silly in her innocence. Without even thinking about it, Jess found herself asking a simple question.
“How big is big?”
“I haven’t broken out a ruler, but you’d be impressed.” Nicole held her hands up in front of her, several inches apart. Jess didn’t believe what she saw. “At least eight inches. And nice and thick.”
Jess’s mouth was suddenly dry. She drank more wine. She knew guys in porn were big, but always just assumed that was all done with camera tricks—not that she was a porn watcher. She had read that an average man was something like five inches, so at least eight sounded implausible. Nicole had to be exaggerating.
“I don’t know that the size of a guy’s dick is something that would impress me,” Jess replied.
“Maybe that’s because you haven’t seen a really impressive one yet. I could snap a picture of Winston’s for you.”
“No!”
“Right. Why wait?”
Nicole leaned over and fetched her phone from her purse, which sat on the floor. Jess lurched forward and grabbed for the phone, spilling wine all over her white shirt in the process. She cursed and looked down at her ruined shirt, leaving Nicole time to shoot out a text.
“I can’t believe you did that! You didn’t tell him it was for me, did you?”
“Of course not. It’s not so strange. People send each other dirty pictures all the time.”
“I know,” Jess replied, still examining the damage to her shirt. At least she missed the couch.
“Firsthand experience?” Nicole asked skeptically.
“I’m not as boring as you think, Nic. Kyle is away for work a lot these days. I like to remind him of what he’s missing.”
“Good idea. He’s a great guy, but you know how men are. He’s away from home so much, staying in a hotel…”
“Kyle would never,” Jess insisted, despite some of her own thoughts on the subject.
“I’m not saying he would. I’m just saying it’s not a bad idea to sex it up while he’s away.”
“Exactly. I’ll be right back. I’d better soak this.”
Jess ran her shirt under cold water upstairs and then decided to put on her pjs—soft sleeping shorts and a tank top—instead of just changing into another shirt. He hair came out of the short ponytail it had been in. Up and on her feet, Jess realized she was tipsier than she thought. She was afraid to go downstairs and find out if Nicole had a reply to her text. It scared her that she was so curious. Nothing good could come from seeing a picture of Winston’s penis, but then again, it was just another penis, wasn’t it? She was not going to be a woman who thought that was the essential part of a man. She squared her shoulders and headed downstairs.
“You look comfy. Ready for bed?”
“I’m not kicking you out yet. Don’t worry.”
“Did you snap a picture for Kyle while you were changing?”
“I did not.”
“You should have. He’s probably sitting in his hotel room, surfing for porn on his laptop. You should give him something more personal to jerk off to.”
“Nic! You’re terrible!”
“Are you saying he doesn’t masturbate? Everyone masturbates.”
“I don’t know. I guess… I’m sure he does, but I don’t think everybody does it.”
“I think everyone with a little life in them does. I’m not exactly starving for it, and I still do it. I bet even you do it.”
“What does that mean? Even me?”
“You do, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. Like I said, Kyle’s away a lot.”
Jess slapped a hand over her mouth. Now she knew she’d had too much wine, because she never would have blurted that out otherwise. Nicole was her oldest friend, but these just weren’t things she usually talked about. It was not how a lady behaved, not according to her mother, who drummed into her that she should always be a lady.
“That’s a very affirmative answer.” Nicole laughed.
“Stop it!”
“I don’t know if I should show you this then. You might need to run upstairs and take care of yourself right now.”
Nicole held up her phone like a taunt.
“I never said I wanted to see it.”
“That’s true. I should just keep it to myself then.”
Jess bit her lip. She couldn’t remember being so torn. With the wine clouding her judgment, what she should do wasn’t carrying much weight. The wine and the sex talk had her feeling things she didn’t want to think about. Proper Jessica would have told Nicole to put her phone away. Tipsy Jess didn’t want to.
“Fine. Just show it to me. You obviously want to.”
“Don’t do me any favors. I wouldn’t want to force Winston’s dick on you.”
“Let me see it.”
“You want his dick?”
“Give it to me,” Jess insisted, reaching for the phone.
A tiny gasp escaped her lips when Jess took the phone. It wasn’t just a dick pic. Winston stood in front of a full length mirror. It looked like he was in his bedroom. He was naked as the day he was born. Jess could not believe what she was looking at. Her fantasies had done him justice, but they could not have prepared her for what she saw on that screen.
Winston was well-muscled everywhere, more like he’d been sculpted than spent time in the gym. That broad chest, with its cut six-pack, looked just as solid as it had felt that night he held her in the basement. His thighs even looked like solid rock. And hanging between them was the largest cock Jess had ever seen. She could not have imagined that properly, because she didn’t know they could look like that. He obviously wasn’t aroused and he was still bigger than any guy she’d been with. But it wasn’t just that he was big. It looked perfect, a smooth, dark head mounted on a thickening staff. His balls looked massive too, and she could tell because he was completely shaved—something else she had never seen. She didn’t think guys did that. If Jess never thought sized mattered before, her mind was rapidly changing.
Jess was warm all over, and it wasn’t because she was blushing. She pressed her thighs together as she stared at the picture. Winston really was perfect in every way. He was cool and funny—and he looked like that. For the first time since she fell in love with her husband, Jess wanted another man in a serious way. It was scary and exciting. She would never be able to face him now, but how could she avoid him?
“Would you like to take my phone upstairs?” Nicole said, adding a little laugh.
“What? Yeah. Sorry, I mean no.”
“It’s okay, hon. That first night, when he took me home, I couldn’t believe it. It was like I found my own Greek god. And then he started touching me, and as good as he looks, hon, believe me, it’s even better than it looks.”
Jess almost whispered, How, but managed to stop herself. She was still staring at the phone. Winston just wasn’t like any man she’d ever seen before. Big. Strong. Black. Jess never really thought about race, but there was something alluring about his smooth, dark skin because it was so different than her experience. It just made him that much more desirable to her. Maybe it was because he seemed so unobtainable, but she wanted him. She wanted him in a way that she couldn’t even fully admit to herself.
Nicole reached out and Jess reluctantly handed the phone back. “Here, I’ll text it to you so you have it to look at whenever you’d like.”
“Don’t do that,” Jess shouted, but she did not move to stop her friend. “I don’t need it.”
Jess’s phone chimed that she had a new text. She left it on the coffee table.
“I think you need something.” Nicole smirked.
“I’ve just never seen anything—anyone—like that before.”
“I don’t think most women have, unless they’re really lucky, or watch a lot of porn. It’s okay to admit you like it, hon.”
Jess drained her wine again, really feeling the effects now. She put the glass down, determined that she was finished for the night, but Nicole emptied the remainder of the bottle into her glass. Jess left it on the table with her phone. It wouldn’t be a good idea to pick up either one. But she didn’t need to grab her phone to see Winston’s cock. The image was hanging right there in her brain. She smiled shyly.
“Okay, he’s hot. Winston is one big hunk of a man. Are you happy I admitted it?”
“I think that’s more important for you, not me.”
“Why would that be important for me?”
“Jess, hon, we both know you can be kind of buttoned down. You should feel free to let go sometimes and just go with what you’re feeling and thinking. You don’t have to worry about disappointing your mother anymore.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
“You’re a grown woman. If you think your neighbor is sexy, admit it! If I was you and I had Winston living across the street, I’d be sorely tempted.”
“I’m married.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be tempted.”
“I guess. But I could never…”
“Never?”
“Kyle would kill me!”
“Never?”
“And you’re seeing him.”
“I told you it’s not like that. And even if it was, I’d let you take him for a spin. It would be too selfish to keep you from experiencing him. After all, you saw him first.”
“I did, you’re right. But still, I couldn’t…”
“Really? What if you got to do it just once and no one would find out? Just one night of incredible passion and memories for a lifetime.”
“I couldn’t.” A pause, then, “No one would know?” Jess stopped to think again. The wine had her mind going to all sorts of places she normally wouldn’t allow. Forbidden places. “I don’t think I could.”
“That sounds like at least a maybe to me. Trust me, Winston is solid. He wouldn’t tell a soul.”
“I know. I know I could trust him. But…”
“But what?”
Jess smiled like she was sharing a dirty little secret. “What if once wasn’t enough? If the sex is as good as you say, I might not be able to stay away.”
Nicole laughed. “In that case, it’s pretty lucky Kyle goes away a lot, isn’t it?”
“An affair? Oh my god!” Jess clapped her hands over her mouth and her normally pale cheeks turned quite red.
“Sounds to me like there is a bad girl in there, dying to get out.”
“I might be tempted, but I really couldn’t do that to Kyle.”
“You could give each other hall passes while he’s away on business.”
“I’d kill him if he slept with another woman. I don’t think I could let it go like he might…”
Jess stopped speaking suddenly, realizing she was about to let an intimate secret slip, but Nicole picked up on it.
“Like he might what, hon?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s written all over your face. It’s not nothing. Like Kyle might what?”
“Really, you should let it go.”
Nicole studied her, and Jess hated feeling like she was under the microscope. It felt like the secret she was trying to keep was written all over her face. That was why she knew she could never sleep with Winston and keep it from Kyle.
“Are you saying Kyle might be okay with you sleeping with another man?”
“I did not say that!”
“I think you were about to.”
“It’s not that—not really.”
“Then what is it? You know I’m going to get it out of you.”
“Sometimes I hate you, Nic,” she joked.
“Confession is good for the soul.”
“Fine. But don’t take this for anything more than it is. And if you ever breathe a word of this to Kyle I really will kill you.”
“Cross my heart,” Nicole swore, making the crossing gesture.
“Okay. Kyle realized I have a crush on Winston and he drug the truth out of me. He also told me that Winston’s been checking me out, and he used those things to tease me…”
“Tease you?”
“In the bedroom. During sex. And I teased him back, and he seemed kind of into it. We both were. It wasn’t just him. I don’t want to make him sound weird.”
Nicole was quiet for a couple of minutes, and Jess didn’t like it. She could see the wheels turning in her friend’s head, and that she was putting two-and-two together. She knew Nicole would say what she had been having trouble admitting, even she teased Kyle with her texts.
“This was about Winston, wasn’t it?”
Jess stayed mum.
“So
Kyle teased you about being attracted to Winston—let’s be honest—he teased you about fucking Winston, and you both got off on it.”
“Oh my god!”
Jess hid her face in her hands. It sounded so wrong when Nicole just said it aloud like that. It was the truth, but it sounded insane—like they were pretending to be swingers or something. Jess didn’t even think that was a thing anymore. Swingers were people who had swapping parties back in the 70s, she thought.
“Hey, hon, it’s okay. It’s just me. You know I’m not going to judge you,” Nicole said, with a little laugh. She scooted forward on the couch and pulled Jess’s hands away from her face.
“It’s just embarrassing. We’re not weird, I swear.”
“I don’t think it’s weird at all. Couples play these little games all the time. I think the healthiest couples fantasize with each other in the bedroom.”
Jess was staring down into her lap, but looked up at Nicole. “Really? Even about other people?”
“Hon, I don’t know from experience, but I bet after you’ve been together a bunch of years fantasizing about other people has to happen. At least you guys can do it together.”
“But it wasn’t quite like that.”
“You mean the part where Kyle got turned on thinking about Winston fucking you?”
“Do you have to put it like that?”
Nicole laughed. “I don’t think it’s making love.”
“Okay, yes, isn’t that weird?”
“Some guys need to know other men want their women. Some of them even get off on it. I guess Kyle’s one of them. What’s the point of having a hot wife if you can’t show her off?”
Jess reached for her wine again without thinking. She needed a drink. “I am not hot. But anyway, is that okay? I mean, it’s just a fantasy, but it’s more than just wanting to show me off.”
“If Kyle got off on thinking about Winston fucking you, that’s fine, as long as you’re okay with it. Are you?”
“Yeah, I think so. It was hot. We both really liked it. Fantasies are harmless, right? It’s not like he wants me to really do it.”
“How do you know?”
“Nic, come on. Now that really is crazy.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. He could be afraid that you’d kill him if he ever suggested it. Would you?”
Gentrified Page 13
