Winston was with her. Memories of their night together flooded her mind as she scrubbed her pale skin pink. Everywhere she touched herself, she recalled his hands on her. Her breasts had red marks from his rough handling and her nipples were still tender—touching them brought unexpected pleasure and she could almost feel Winston nibbling them, riding the line between pleasure and pain. She was sore everywhere from Winston tossing her around, but especially in her pussy. She did not consider it a knock on Kyle, but she truly had never been fucked like that. The soreness did not stop Jess from touching herself, and she leaned against the cool tile wall as she brought herself to a swift climax.
After drying off, Jess snuggled nude between the sheets—something she never did. There were a couple hours before she had to get ready for work, and she needed to get her head straight before she went in, or she wouldn’t get anything done. But first, she had to tell Kyle what happened. It was still the middle of the night where he was, but she had to try.
Jess had no idea how to start. She could just text, I did it. I fucked Winston. It felt weird how easily the word fuck came to her now. It wasn’t much in her vocabulary before. She could try to gently break it to Kyle, but that felt childish. Perhaps the best way was to give him what he wanted, and see how he reacted.
Her phone had a new folder in the gallery app, holding two videos and about a dozen photos. Jess opened the first photo and her jaw dropped. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were squeezed shut. It looked like she might be shouting, and she was certainly having an orgasm. And right there against her pale white cheek was Winston’s thick, wet mahogany cock. The photo was so dirty, and her first impulse was to delete it. She had to make sure no one ever saw her like that. Everything about the image was wrong. How could she let Kyle see that? Jess looked at it closer, wondering, Is that what I look like when I come? Jess thought she looked like a mess. It also looked like she was desperate for Winston’s prick. The photo was so graphic. Could Kyle be turned on by something like that?
The other photos were no less graphic. They looked like anything one might find on the internet. How would she feel if she caught Kyle looking at something like this on a porn site? Once the initial shock wore off, Jess began thinking about the photos in a different light, and a little smile crept over her lips as she thought about how naughty she was. It was such a nasty thought, but she wondered if men would look at these pictures of her and jerk off—not that she would ever allow these out. Jess didn’t even feel safe having them on her phone. She had no idea they were so graphic. Winston would have to delete his copies. She trusted her husband, but it would be a huge leap of faith to send him any of these images.
Despite all of her reservations, she did it. Jess chose a photo where she was riding Winston and clutching her breasts. It felt counter-intuitive to lead with a sex photo, but just didn’t feel as graphic as Winston’s dick rubbing all over her face. While she waited for Kyle’s response, Jess played one of the videos.
Jess sensuously rode up and down on her black lover, moaning his name with her eyes closed. Her face was the picture of bliss. She gasped at the image and shifted her thighs, as if she could feel him inside her again. The video was not obscene to her, but sexy and passionate. There was no way Jess thought she could watch a video of her having sex—she shot it down every time Kyle suggested taping them—but now she couldn’t stop watching. Winston captured her entire body, and she could watch her own expression and see his dark shaft sliding in and out of her. Instinctively, she touched herself while watching the video. She hoped it would turn Kyle on as much as it did her.
The video had her so engrossed that Jess was startled when Kyle’s reply chimed through and interrupted the video.
K: U did it
Was that all he had to say? What did that even mean? Was he angry? Pleased? Hard?
-I got home a little while ago. Do u want more?
No pause before his answer: Yes!
Jess sent more pictures of her riding Winston and finally sent a picture with his dick on her face. She was becoming quite the tease. Sending the pictures to her husband was just as much of a turn on as watching the video herself.
K: OMG u really did it. OMG
-r u hard baby?
K: fuck yes
-show me
Moments later, her phone rang with a video call. Jess pulled down the sheet so Kyle could see she was topless in bed. Her screen filled with the image of Kyle fisting his cock. He stroked it slowly, and she knew it was because of her. She touched her pussy again.
“You stayed all night?” Kyle asked, his voice tinny from her speaker phone.
“We did it…” she started, but then paused. Jess knew how he wanted to hear it. “He fucked me until I passed out, basically.”
“I bet he would have kept going.”
“He would have. God, baby, he never stops.”
Kyle grunted off-camera, and stroked his cock harder.
“This is making you hot, baby?” she cooed, fishing for the obvious answer.
“What do you think?” There was a harsh edge in his voice. Then, “Show me your pussy.” It was not a request. This aggressive side of her husband turned her on even more.
Jess turned her phone around and pointed it down between her legs, where her fingers rubbed her tender clit. She was still red and swollen from the pounding Winston had given her. She thought Kyle would like that.
“You’re still horny. Didn’t you get enough?”
“Sending you the pictures was hot. I like showing off for you,” she moaned. It was most of the truth.
“And you’re thinking about him fucking you?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “So are you.”
“You shaved your pussy for him.” It was an accusation.
“I thought he’d like it. Should I keep it this way?”
“Yeah, I like it.” Then, “His dick looks huge.”
“Oh god, it was. I didn’t know what to do with it.”
“Yeah you did.”
“I did,” she gasped. She was going to make herself come again, but she wanted Kyle to go first. She wanted him to get off.
“You put that thing in your mouth?”
“Mmm, yes… But not much. I couldn’t take much…ohhh…”
“I bet he fucked your pretty mouth…ahhh…”
“Yesss…”
“You just gave yourself to him,” Kyle moaned. It sounded like he couldn’t quite believe it.
“I walked in…mmm…he undressed me right in the living room and…ohhh…he undressed me, I wasn’t wearing underwear…mmm…he carried me upstairs…”
“Uhnn…and you fucked him.”
Jess turned her phone around. She had to see him. As she hoped, his face was on the screen now, because he’d been watching her. Jess held the phone out so he could see her tits.
“Yes! Mmm…yes, baby…”
“He made you come.”
“Yes…god, I came so many times…mmm…”
Ahh, fuck, Jess. Did he come inside you?”
Jess hesitated, but had to answer honestly. If he was angry, they would deal with it. “He did, baby. I’m sorry…”
“No condom?”
“It happened so fast. I didn’t think. Oh god, baby…”
“He fucked you and came in your pussy?” Kyle sounded angry, but he was moaning. He was still jerking off.
“Yes, he fucked me and came in my pussy. He fucked me all night. OH GOD!”
With a loud cry, Jess came, soaking her fingers.
“Fuck me,” Kyle groaned. “Fuck, Jess!”
Jess wanted to see him come, but Kyle kept the phone up on his face. She stared at him through the phone as she panted and tried to gather herself. She couldn’t read him. What should she expect now? Kyle would have to say his piece first.
“Jess..” Kyle stopped, looked confused, then started again. “That was so strange.”
“Strange good or strange bad?”
“Good?” He s
ounded unsure. “Is it good you fucked someone else?”
“You wanted me to,” she snapped defensively.
“And you wanted to. Don’t forget that. I’m not mad, Jess. It’s just a lot to process.”
Jess was worried. He didn’t seem to be taking it well. “Does it feel like you expected?”
“I don’t know what I thought it would feel like. And I’m not sure how I feel. It changes every second.”
“Tell me, honey. You can’t bottle this up.”
“It’s hot, yeah, but at the same time I’m a little ashamed that I think that way. I sort of rationalized it before because I was so turned on when I thought about it, but a man should not get turned on by another guy fucking his wife. There’s got to be something wrong with me, right?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, honey. No one has the right to judge you, and you shouldn’t judge yourself. Didn’t we decide this was just about us?”
“I know that rationally, but it still feels weird. I know I only care about how you feel about this.”
“And I love you, Kyle. You’re not less of a man because of this. If anything, you’re more of a man. How many guys are confident enough that they would do something like this?”
“I guess, but that’s part of it too. Can you still respect me after I just sent you off to be with someone else?”
“I thought we were clear on this. No one sends me anywhere. You don’t get to trade me like a baseball card.”
Jess had the edge in her voice now, but she knew she was defensive because she’d enjoyed being submissive so much. Whether it was Winston tossing her around his bed, or Kyle telling her what to do, Jess had discovered she liked letting a man take charge. It went against everything she had been taught, but she couldn’t help it. In that way, she could relate to how Kyle felt.
“You know that’s not what I meant. I mean, if I didn’t want you to, you wouldn’t have done it. Right?”
“Of course not,” she replied. With a hint of mirth, she added, “I just don’t want you to get any ideas about offering me around to whoever you like.” The suggestion gave Jess a thrill she did not care to admit to.
Kyle’s façade cracked too. “What if you like them?”
“Well, maybe. I’ll think about it.” She smiled.
“You still respect me, right?”
“Kyle, of course.”
“And you still want me?”
“Honey, I love you.”
“But it sounds like he’s quite the lover. You’re not, like…”
“Are you trying to ask me if I’m ruined for all other men?”
“Well…”
“That is the most ridiculous thing ever. Yes, I had a good time. An amazing time. And after everything that happened the last few months, I might have always wondered if I hadn’t done it. But no, this isn’t some bad porn. I am not ruined. I’m not suddenly addicted to Winston.”
“But it’s not out of your system is it, Jess?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. You want to see him again.”
Jess couldn’t meet his eyes, even through the phone. “I don’t have to.”
“But you want to.”
“Yes, I want to. But I don’t want to hurt you. It’s not that important.”
“So this is my decision?”
“I guess.”
“That’s not fair, Jess. If I say no, you’ll resent me.”
“I won’t. Listen, it’s not that important to me. It’s not nearly as important as you are, as our family. The sex was amazing, and yes, I’d like to feel that again, but not at the expense of everything else. If you don’t want me to, I’ll survive. Incredible sex is still just sex.”
“I never said I didn’t want you to go back, by the way.”
“Do you?”
Jess hung on tenterhooks as she waited for his answer. She did want to sleep with Winston again, and she wanted it badly. She could barely admit how badly to herself, let alone to her husband. It was silly to suggest she could become addicted to sex with Winston, but she couldn’t help the way she wanted him. Jess hoped it was something she could get out of her system. If not, she would have to live with it. In that way, seeing him again could be dangerous. What if it made her want him more? But if Kyle said yes, she knew she would go to Winston again.
“I don’t need you to go. I’ve read about some of these cuckolds on the internet, and they need their wives to fuck other men. I’m not like that. But I do think it’s hot, and I like it more than it bothers me. So if it’s something you want, then I want you to do it.”
“Really?” She tried to hide her excitement.
“Yes. But. Jess, I don’t want you to become his mistress, okay?”
“I would never. I told you that before.”
“But you also said it could be opening something we can’t control. I don’t think I could handle this being an ongoing thing, where you skip across the street to see him while I watch Maddy. I couldn’t take that.”
“That will never happen. I love you. I don’t want to be a mistress. I know what I said before, but listen, I agree with you. It’s not healthy for this to be an ongoing thing. I don’t want it to be anything like a relationship.”
“Shit, you sound like Nic now.”
They both laughed.
“Maybe I finally understand a little of how she feels. But I am not Nic. I couldn’t be. We have something she doesn’t understand. I hope she finds it for herself one day,” Jess said, thinking that Winston could be that for her friend, if the two of them would open themselves to it. She ignored the twinge of jealous she felt.
“I am going to see him tonight, but that will be it. You will be home tomorrow, and then we will reconnect, and we will go get our daughter, and we will go back to normal.”
“I like the sound of that, but do you really think that’s possible? He lives right across the street. Can we pretend we never did this?”
“I know I can control myself. I’m not some hormone crazed teenager.” Jess wished she felt as confident as she sounded. “But you’re right. We can’t pretend we didn’t do this. So we have a new normal. Maybe it’s a sexier new normal.”
“Maybe next time I see some guy flirting with you at the bar I’ll just hang back and see what happens.”
“And maybe I’ll tease him, just to turn you on.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s just for me. Not anymore, Jess.”
She smiled. “If I kiss him, that’s for me.”
“I want you to have fun tonight. Don’t leave with any regrets.”
“Sounds like you’re telling me to embrace my inner slut.”
“I never knew you had one before, but apparently she’s pretty crazy.”
“She likes to have fun.”
“I can’t wait to hear all about it.”
“There’s one more thing we have to talk about. I’m sorry I didn’t make him use a condom.”
“Yeah, that. I’m not thrilled about that. I guess we just have to trust he’s a good guy like we think, and he wouldn’t give you anything. At least you’re not going to be pregnant.”
“Although it would almost be worth it to see the look on my mother’s face when I brought home a black baby.”
“She’d clutch her pearls and keel over. You don’t really want to kill your mother, do you?”
They both laughed.
“What about tonight?” she asked.
“You don’t want to, do you, Jess?”
“I hate how they feel. You know that.”
“It is hotter without them, isn’t it?”
“I guess,” she admitted. She couldn’t tell him that feeling Winston come inside her made her climax all over again. Yes, she wanted his bare cock.
“No sense closing the barn door now.”
“I think I should be insulted!”
“Oh, quit it.”
They were both laughing, and Jess knew it was going to be okay.
&n
bsp; twenty-four
The workday felt impossibly long. All Jess could think about was what waited for her at the end of the day. At times, she felt like she was obsessed with her new lover, but she cut herself some slack. This was not all that different from having a new boyfriend—not that Winston was a boyfriend in any way, shape or form. Jess remembered the excitement of a new guy, and how she couldn’t stop thinking about him in the beginning, and she knew that’s what this was. It couldn’t be anything else. She loved her husband.
Her day suddenly became longer when she texted Winston and asked what time he’d like to see her, and he replied she should come over at 10. It felt like he was making her wait just to tease her. Jess did not want to seem overeager, so she just replied with an okay and a smiley face. She passed the time by going back to her phone and looking at the pictures Winston had taken of them together. Jess even popped in her earbuds and watched part of the videos he made. That turned out to be a mistake. She was left so aroused that she considered sneaking off to the bathroom to take care of herself, but Jess was not that far gone.
Nicole texted halfway through the day, asking if Jess wanted to go to dinner. Jess was relieved for the distraction, but nervous because she knew Winston would come up, and she didn’t know what she wanted to say. Nicole insisted, since she would be in the city anyway, and they agreed to meet at a little bistro on the developing commercial strip not far from Jess’s place.
“This place is cute,” Nicole said, as they took their seats.
“Kyle and I love it here, and they are good with Maddy.”
The restaurant was long and narrow, and the women were at a small, round table for two against the wall. The tables were packed so tightly that the man behind Jess had to pull in his chair so she could sit. A waitress took their drink orders and left.
“I bet in another five years you won’t even recognize this area,” Nicole said.
“That’s the plan for a lot of people, but they don’t think about what’s being displaced.”
“Half the store fronts on this block were empty two years ago. They’re turning that factory over on Hancock into the cutest apartments. The building was an abandoned firetrap.”
Gentrified Page 23
