by Fiona Miers
Julian nodded and swallowed. If he had any more questions, he kept them to himself.
“Would you like to take a quick look at your child?”
Julian nodded and Samara stood up and lay down on the doctor’s table.
Alex grabbed his small ultrasound machine, applied the clear lubricant to the head, and ran it over the swell of her belly with gentle proficiency.
The baby’s image popped onto the screen and her heart thumped in happy bliss.
“There you go, Samara. Beautiful, clear image. Nice strong heart beat.”
Julian was hovering around, and his eyes were transfixed on the screen. “Is everything okay?” he asked, his voice a little strained.
“Yes. So far, so good,” Dr. Alex said, his fingers tapping on the buttons as he measured the length of the baby’s spine.
“But there could be problems?” Julian asked, twisting around and looking at the doctor with concern written into the mini wrinkles on his forehead.
“Yes, there can always be problems, and with Samara’s past surgeries and history, there are risks. But we monitor her every week and we’re hoping for a good outcome.”
“Yes. I can’t wait,” she agreed, focusing on the beautiful natural birth she wanted in her mind. Visualization was key and the doctor had said that he would support her in her attempt.
Dr. Alex checked her blood pressure, weighed her, asked a few more questions, then they were out the door.
Samara tugged her scarf tighter around her neck. Winter was on its way.
“Thanks for coming, Julian.” She turned to see that strange look on his face again. She laughed, enjoying the glazed expression that clearly indicated that he was speechless.
He shook himself. “Ah… I. Would you join me for dinner?”
Hmmm… Where would this go if she agreed to dinner? No where she wanted at the moment.
“I’m not sure, Julian. If we are going to co-parent, that is one thing, but if you are trying to make a relationship between us work, I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen.”
His jaw tightened visibly and she knew that she had her answer. He wanted a proper relationship, or at least an attempt at one, and she wasn’t sure they’d ever get past the scars that had already been sliced and badly healed.
“Julian, I’m not sure you will ever trust me how I need to be trusted, and I don’t think I’ll ever quite believe you’re here for any other reason than an unwanted baby. It’s a mess.”
He shook his head, reaching out for her hands, and she let him take them. “What do I need to do to convince you to at least give us a chance?”
She glanced to the side. What would it take for her to trust him again? She had no idea. “There’s lots of things and yet nothing specific. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know how we’re going to work out custody arrangements.”
“Stop talking like that. I don’t want to discuss custody. Forget about the baby, if you can, for one minute. I came back for you, Samara. I waited and waited, hoping you’d call, come visit, anything. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer, and I found you. Don’t you understand? I want you!” His eyes were so sincere and his words were every bit as beautiful as she’d imagined in her most secret of fantasies. But how to believe him?
“Julian, I don’t want you to be so closed up and secretive all the time. If there’s even a chance that we could make this work, I need you to open up. Let me know you, how you feel about everything. It’s the only way I’ll allow a relationship to develop.”
He leant forward slowly and pressed his lips to her forehead, sending ripples of soft pleasure out through her body. When he leaned back, his eyes were shadowed but unguarded.
“I’m the man I am, and I know I can be hard to understand. So, I’ll try to give you what you want. I will. That’s all I can promise.”
She sighed and pulled away a little. That was something she supposed.
He lifted a hand and stroked it down her face. “Are you sure there isn’t a short cut to this, Samara? We got along so well in Hawaii.”
Trust the international businessman to want to close the deal early.
“I don’t know, Julian.” She let her gaze meet his again. “Let’s just give it some time… I suppose.”
That’s what they needed… And lots of luck, love, and laughter.
He smiled, not moving to get closer, though a small part of her wished he would. No one had kissed her since their last night together in Hawaii, and her body missed him, craved his touch.
“We have lots of that.”
****
Julian bought an apartment in Samara’s building a month later and moved in straight away. Leaving his multi-million-dollar apartment in central Manhattan was easier than he’d thought. Cathartic even, to get away from a living space that held nothing but bad memories for him.
He invited Samara to help him decorate the new apartment. The poor thing had been neglected for far too long from people who’d last renovated in the 80’s. He didn’t care how she changed things or what she did. He wouldn’t be living there long. He was on a mission. A life mission. He was building a family, and he didn’t care where he had to live, or what he had to do, to convince Samara that they would be perfect for each other’s futures.
He went along with all of her plans for a second home for their baby, a second nursery, a second bed for him. He had no intentions of living in his apartment building long term. He would buy her a big house opposite central park, or out of town. He didn’t care. As long as that vivacious, fun, sexy woman he knew in Hawaii came back into his life.
Because he missed her, the Samara who had so enchanted him for the two short weeks he’d enjoyed her presence. And he only realized it as she began to re-emerge. When she began to smile, and flirt, and arrange their lives with her concise brain, he fell more in like and lust with her.
He couldn’t admit to himself that it could be more than that, just yet.
Despite Samara’s reticence, he would never give up on them being together and as the days ticked over and they spent more time together, he knew he was doing the right thing. Pursuing the right woman.
“Would you come and meet my parents on the weekend?” he asked her over breakfast one Sunday morning. One of their many rituals.
He was still giving her lots of space to do everything she needed to do, and with his work commitments, he was still flying all over the world. But if he was in New York, he saw her every day. For a meal, a meeting, a chat. He found any excuse to see her, watch his child grow.
They hadn’t even kissed since Hawaii, yet the attraction between them grew by the day. Every smile, every flirt of her eyes sent a shiver of desire through him.
“Ah… I suppose I can. Why? Do they want a run down on the Waikiki project?”
He laughed. Hardly. “Ah, no. My parents want to meet the woman who’s having my baby.”
Samara, who was drinking fresh orange juice, choked and spluttered, orange specks of fruit splattering over the shiny bench top.
Yeah, I felt the same way initially. “What’s wrong?”
Samara picked up a white napkin and wiped at her mouth before cleaning up the juice that surrounded her plate. “I… uh, I hadn’t really thought about your family and how they’d react at the news. What did they say?”
His mother had been interesting indeed. “Well, to start with she was shocked. I have always declared that I would not have children.”
Samara’s eyebrows shot up and her head shook as she took the croissant from the plate in front of her, tearing at the end. “You didn’t tell me you never wanted children.”
He shrugged, belatedly realizing that he may have chosen the wrong thing to tell her out of that conversation with his mother, but he pushed on nonetheless. “Well, to be honest, I think I told them that just to annoy them, on one level. They were so adamant that I produce an heir for them, I just…”
She smiled at him, her eyes lighting up with mischief. “Didn�
�t want to give them the satisfaction huh?”
“No.”
“Well, what else did they say?” she asked, her posture relaxed now as she ate more of her breakfast.
“They were very happy, actually. Especially when I told them it was you. My mother holds you in high regard. She loves women who are ambitious, and hard working. As I said, they want to meet you.”
“How do they feel about the fact that we aren’t, you know…a couple?”
He grinned and didn’t answer, taking a bite of his own croissant, the melted cheese and ham making his mouth water and a moan escape.
“Julian! Come on! I’m not going if you’re not honest with me.”
He chuckled and prepared to spill his guts, a new and quite strange part of their relationship. “No secrets” was their main rule and so far, they seemed to be doing well with it.
“Honestly? My mother told me to marry you immediately. I told her I’d asked when I first found out and you’d turned me down, and rightly so.”
This caused Samara to sit back and smile at him. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I told her that it was the right thing to do, considering we didn’t know each other very well, but that I was still hoping to convince you to take me on.”
She giggled at that, her cheeks flushing with a beautiful happiness he hadn’t seen in a long time. “Take you on. Please!”
She rubbed her big belly in that gorgeous way she had and lust kicked inside him with a sudden-ness he wasn’t expecting. “Ah… Samara, can I feel it?”
“Oh. Sure.” She swiveled around off her chair and walked around the table to him.
He twisted on his stool and opened his legs, grabbing her and bringing her in.
She came into his arms and the cloud of her subtle lilac perfume teased his nose. He ran his hands up her side and cradled the swollen flesh that held his growing child.
The babe kicked out against his hands, the shifting of the flesh beneath his palms a minor miracle. “I wish I could sleep next to you and feel him through the night.”
“Him, huh?” she asked, her hands stretching up and running her fingers through Julian’s hair.
His breath caught in an odd way and his heart began to pound. God he’d missed her touch. He moved his hands around behind her waist and tugged her tighter.
She stared down at him, and although she didn’t move closer, she didn’t move away. He needed to kiss her, his heart screamed at him to do so. He cupped her jaw in his palm and pulled her closer, the soft skin of her face calling to him to caress and enjoy her.
Her lips touched his with the softness of butter and he groaned as flames licked at his soul. He needed to touch her, if only like this.
He licked at her lips and she opened up for him, a moan rolling through her throat as he delved deeper. Tasting her sweetness.
She pulled back, her breathing rapid. “I’m not ready for this.”
He knew she wasn’t, but he needed more. “I need you, Samara. I know you aren’t ready for sex. But I need to feel you against me. Feel close to you. Would you lie with me? Let me hold you?”
“With clothes on?”
He’d prefer not. “Underwear? I need to feel your skin. Please?”
He hated the tone of begging he could hear in his own words, but as Samara’s face transformed, he no longer regretted the words.
“I’d love that.”
She took his hand and pulled him to her bedroom, the duvet still rumpled from her sleep. “I just got out of here,” she joked while she unwrapped her top and awkwardly undressed.
Julian tugged at his own clothes, shedding everything except his cotton boxers, which were already tenting. He gestured down to his errant body part. “I have no control over him, so I apologize in advance. It’s been a long time for him.”
Samara was covering her belly as though she was self-conscious. “How long’s too long?” She gulped suddenly then shook her head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I probably don’t want to know.”
He laughed loudly at that one and pulled back the covers, lying down amongst the sweet smell of her skin. “By too long, I mean, since Hawaii.”
It was by far the longest he’d ever gone in his adult life, but something hadn’t been right. He’d dated a few women, tried to convince himself he could go back to his old life, but he hadn’t made it past a single dinner.
She continued to stand and stare so he threw back the covers. “Come on. I need to hold you.” She stood in her tiny pink lacy knickers and a bra that barely contained her swollen breasts. His cock jerked in his shorts just looking at her.
A brilliant smile lit up her face as she sat on the bed, swiveled around, lay down, and shuffled back until she had her gorgeous round arse pressed against his aching cock.
He settled his arm around her belly and kissed the back of her neck. She smelled like flowery soap and home. He closed his eyes and sighed as she nestled into his body.
She pulled his arms tighter around her and placed his hand on her belly, his child shifting and kicking out at him. “He’s so active today.”
She nodded and wiggled her bum into his groin.
Julian’s cock responded with its own wiggle and he groaned. “Hey. You need to stop that. You know how much I desire you.”
“Do you?” she asked, her voice catching in a way that told him how vulnerable she was feeling being with him like this. “I mean…even with this huge belly?”
He could tell her in words how much she meant to him, how beautiful her belly was, but actions spoke much louder. “Samara, seriously? Can’t you feel me?”
He ground his pelvis against her, sliding his rigid staff up and down the crease between her buttocks, the tension against his flesh causing a moan to pass through his lips.
She gasped and pressed back against him and her initial complaints that she wasn’t ready for more, floated right out the window.
Inside his head, Julian was losing the battle. The fight to maintain the distance he’d agreed to. “Samara. If you don’t want me to make love to you, I’m afraid you’re going to have to get up, or kick me out of bed, because I’m about to seduce you.”
He ran the tip of his tongue around her ear for emphasis.
She grabbed his hand that lay on her belly and his chest squeezed tight. Was she really going to kick him out of bed?
Instead, she wriggled even closer, turning around slowly so that she was soon staring up at him, her bright green eyes open and vulnerable. “I want you too. So much, I can’t even explain.”
He dove down on her lips, a groan rolling through him as her unique taste blew apart his senses. “Fuck, I’ve missed you...” he said against her skin.
Her lips parted and he took advantage, letting his tongue dive between her open mouth. Their tongues danced and played and she rolled closer. Julian reached behind her and flicked open her bra with a quick twist of his wrist. He pulled at the lacy confection and pushed it aside, greedily fondling the abundant flesh that had become available to him.
He broke their kiss and pulled away, staring down at the beautiful woman in his arms. Her face flushed with passion, her skin as soft as the skin of a peach.
“God, you’re so beautiful.”
“Even with…” She trailed off as she ran a hand over the changes in her body.
“More so. Our baby makes you even more beautiful to me.”
Her eyes glistened. “I’ve never heard you say that before.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I was so against this at the start. I was wrong. You, and this baby, are the best things in my life. I wouldn’t change anything, except I wish I’d known earlier, and I could have shared more of this with you.”
Her gaze dropped away and fear rippled through him. Had he said the wrong thing?
“I’m sorry. I was trying to be honest, if that wasn’t right…”
She shook her head and her hand cupped his jaw as she met his gaze once more. “No, it’s me that is sorry. I should never
have kept my pregnancy a secret from you. That was wrong.”
Her lip quivered and he wished all the words away, but he knew it was probably the time that it all came out, finally. “What is done, is done. I don’t care about any of that anymore. I just want us to move forward, as a family. I’m so excited for that, Samara.”
As he said the words that he’d been afraid to say to anyone, even the shrink his mother had forced him to go see, he knew they were true. Samara represented a new chapter, hell, a new book for his life. He’d start everything anew. And he’d do it better.
“Make love to me, Julian. Please.”
The words were his undoing, and he pressed his lips to hers once again. This time they met with tenderness, and understanding, and Julian’s once broken heart sung with joy. This woman was worth loving, worth taking the risk on.
A part of him screamed with the fear of it. He could be wrong. Again.
Samara’s hands clung to his arms and her sweet moan made all thoughts fly from his head.
He broke their kiss and moved down her body. Kissing the rapid pulse at the base of her throat, the line of her sternum between her breasts. Then he lay back and admired her larger breasts, the darkened nipples.
“I can’t wait to see our child suckling from here.” He plumped both breasts with his hands and moved his lips to one taut nipple.
Samara gasped and grabbed the back of his head, holding him tight to her.
He took his time, enjoying the taste of her soft skin in his mouth, the warmth and pleasure radiating off the woman in his arms. He pushed her onto her back, to kiss the darkened line down her belly, loving the idea that his child rippled beneath his lips.
“Turn over for me.”
She stared down at him as he grabbed a hold of her panties and dragged them down her long legs. She was thicker everywhere and he loved how healthy and strong she looked. Perfect for carrying his son. Or daughter.
He stood up, and pushed his own boxers down his hips, his cock bouncing eagerly out in front of him. She slowly began to roll, then get onto all fours.
