by Amber Burns
With a sigh of resignation she gave up and settled back into his embrace.
***************************
When I woke the next morning, it was to the sound of a rooster crowing and cows lowing in the distance. I could hear all sorts of movement about the house, and Anna was gone from the bed. I stretched, sat up and rubbed my eyes, uttering an amazed guffaw when I saw that it was five thirty in the morning. I could not remember the last time I’d been up this early. As I sat there, watching the rays of sun fall through the striped curtains, the floor just outside the bedroom door creaked.
Annabelle came tiptoeing in holding two mugs, and before she even reached halfway across the room I smelled the aromatic, rich coffee. She handed me one.
“It even has farm milk in it, look at the layer of cream on top!”
I pulled her closer and kissed her.
“Good morning to you too.”
“Oh, sorry, good morning handsome.”
She sat down on the side of the bed, and I looked at her. Her hair hung in curls wildly around her face, and she glowed. I brought the mug to my nose, inhaling the scent so characteristic of early morning.
I love coffee, the smell, taste and effect of it on the senses. I don’t view caffeine as something that I am addicted to, I enjoy the ritual of making coffee in my own home, or watching others do it in theirs. I love the smell of grinding the beans, and when I go to a new town or place I always look for roasters that offer tours. My guilty pleasure is, and always will be espresso with cream.
“Anna, I want to move here, sell everything, even my house, instead of renting it, and move here,” I said.
She stood and walked over to the window, sliding the curtain open.
“I’d like that, can we get married here, on the farm? It will save on the costs.”
She stood staring out at the paddocks, and when I went to join her, she leaned back against me, smelling of coffee, her perfume, and her own soft scent.
“I think it was a sneaky sales tactic of Eva to let us stay here last night,” she murmured, still holding her mug to her nose.
“If we do this we are committing to a completely different lifestyle, is that something you are prepared for?” I asked her. “It’s a seriously big change.”
She nodded, I felt the movement against my chest as her head bobbed.
“I can quit my tutoring at the university without giving notice, I don’t have a contract.”
We had breakfast with Art and Eva, and hit the road back to Crystal Beach with our heads bursting. The plans for our relocation kept us both occupied, and we passed the drive in silence. When we arrived back, we picked up Armand, and Roy made us each a cup of coffee while he quizzed us about the time away, asking where we had been.
“We actually went to look at a house Roy, a farm outside Beaumont,” I said, testing the waters for his reaction.
He cocked his head to the side, “A farm? That’s one hell of a change.”
“I have to agree,” I said, “But it is a good opportunity, and both Annabelle and I really like the place. I would actually like to discuss something with you about the property, and the move.”
I took a deep breath.
“When we move I would, well, Annabelle and I would very much like it if you moved with us.”
He started in his movement, and put the mug that was halfway to his lips back down.
“You want me to come with you? What about my shop? And my house?” He asked.
I took Annabelle’s hand.
“We thought about it, and you have worked so hard, you are close to retirement age, it makes financial sense too. There is a large guest cottage on the property, and the money from the sale of your business and house can be a good padding for your retirement fund, you won’t have any expenses on the farm.”
He frowned, deep in thought.
“What would I do with myself?” He asked, looking from me to Annabelle.
I smiled at him.
“You will have free run of the place Roy, there will be animals, and Anna and I want vegetable gardens too.”
I could virtually see the cogs turning in his head as he spoke.
“I need to think about this, but believe me, the idea appeals to me.”
“Take your time, it will take me a while to sort out putting my house on the market, then Annabelle needs to deal with the land left from hers, and insurance claims. I’ll also be dealing with transfers for the farm, I don’t think any moving will happen in any time frame shorter than three months.”
14
The strangest of situations had unfolded with the sale of the house in Crystal Beach. Eva and Art had driven down to bring papers for signing, taken one look at the ocean, smelled the sea air, and said they would buy it. So in an instant the two couples had effectively swapped houses. Michel would only need to help with selling Anna’s land, Roy’s house, and pay Art the difference in price for the farm. It complicated things, but also simplified them.
Michel ducked as the ball of newsprint came flying toward his head.
“Hey! No need to get vicious here!” He yelled across the room at Annabelle, who held another missile at the ready.
She sat down in a little heap giggling.
“I am bored, and tired of packing crockery…” she pouted theatrically at him.
He raised his head, “Well then what do you feel like doing Anna girl?”
She sighed.
“I don’t know, this move is coming so I know the packing has to get done, I just have no motivation.”
She picked up another plate, wrapping it carefully and placing it in a box with the rest. They were not even planning on eating in the house that night, the whole kitchen would be un-usable.
“I am looking forward to being on the farm now, having my dad there too will be amazing.”
She spoke as if to herself, but hoped he understood it was just an outing of an unspoken need to reassure herself everything was in fact okay.
Another hour passed in relative peace, when the porch creaked and there was a hesitant knock at the door. Annabelle watched as he stood and stretched, then moved over to go and open it. The door was not in her line of sight, and her curiosity got the better of her, so she got up too and stuck her head around the corner.
He held a salad bowl in his hands, but when Michel opened the door, the large glass dish fell from his fingers and shattered into a hundred pieces on the wooden floor. Annabelle clapped her hands over her mouth to keep quiet. He only said one word before Annabelle moved farther around to see who had shocked him so badly.
“Mom?”
****************************
I heard Annabelle gasp behind me, but everything faded into the background as I faced Lorraine Deverroux. I could not speak, I reverted straight back to the teenager I had been when I had walked out of this woman’s life so many years ago. My heart stuck in my throat, and my palms were suddenly coated in a slick of sweat. I felt Annabelle move up behind me, and then her hand was on my back.
“Hi, can we help you?” She said softly, in the absence of my voice.
The woman on my doorstep had aged badly, her hair was a dull grey, with only a few hints of the lustrous black it had once been still showing through. Her eyes sat sunken in a face that showed a hard life, wrinkles at her eyes and the sides of her mouth betrayed her smoking habit, and when she reached up to brush hair from her face, there were nicotine stains on her fingers. She looked from me to Annabelle and smiled faintly, uneasily.
“I’m… I am Mickey’s mother, I am sorry to pitch up so unannounced.”
She stepped from foot to foot.
“I heard that Andy had died, and Mickey was here, back from Afghanistan.”
I flinched every time she said that name, Mickey, it was as though I was being poked with a needle. I opened my mouth, closed it, and simply stepped aside. I didn’t know what to do. Annabelle sensed it and took over.
“Why don’t you come in, I can offer you a g
lass of iced-tea?”
She started picking up pieces of the broken bowl, and then gestured Lorraine toward the couch. My mother sat down on the edge and when Annabelle handed her the glass of liquid, I watched her to see if her hands were shaky, and they were.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I said, and picked up my jacket and walked straight out through the door, not turning to look at either of them; I very suddenly needed space.
Not at any point had I imagined seeing my mother again, and here she was. As I stood looking out at the sea after walking about a hundred feet down the beach, a sudden question popped into my head, why was she here alone? Where was my father? I can’t say I felt a ‘sudden surge of love’ or any major concern. These people had written off my existence when I technically needed their guidance most as a teenager, and I had a niggling concern as to why Lorraine Deverroux was suddenly on my doorstep. She knew Andy had been very wealthy, and she also knew he had not had any children.
I felt bad for leaving Annabelle with her, a strange woman, so I took a few deep breaths and turned around to head back. Anna was sitting on the sofa opposite Lorraine, and she also held a glass of iced tea, I saw Lorraine was talking, and there was a pained expression on Annabelle’s face. When I turned the door handle she looked toward me and I caught the glance that told me why my father was not here. There were tears on her cheeks which she hastily wiped away.
“I’m sorry, just needed to get out for a moment, I was not expecting you.”
I faced Lorraine. She nodded.
“I am sorry,” she mumbled. “I just told Annabelle, your father died a month ago Mickey, he had a heart attack.”
I sat down, “Oh, that why you came?”
She seemed offended by the lack of joy at her appearance, and it puzzled me. I frowned.
“What exactly do you want Lorraine? You wrote me off when I was only a kid, Andy is the one who got me back on my feet, and now, a month after Harry dies, you pitch up on my doorstep. What do you want? Were you expecting a welcome party?”
I noticed Annabelle’s discomfort at the tone of my voice, and turned to her.
“Baby, can you maybe go to your dad for a short while so that I can sort things out here? I don’t want to upset you, and I have a few things I might need to discuss with Lorraine.”
Anna kissed me, gave me a tight hug, and with a nod, stood to leave.
“Bye Lorraine, take care now.”
I waited for Anna to leave, waving at her as she shut the door on her way out. Lorraine nodded in her direction, and then glanced back at me.
“She seems like a very good girl,” she said softly.
I exhaled loudly through my teeth.
“She is, way too good for me.” I sat forward with my elbows on my knees, “What do you want?”
She put on an offended expression again, but I knew it was exactly that, put on, she spluttered and stuttered.
“I, do I have to want something to find my only child after my husband dies?” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
I snorted, “I am so not buying this, you don’t just pitch up after disowning me and not trying to find me for more than twenty years. Not after you just happen to find out a childless and wealthy relative has died, I don’t know you, but I know I don’t trust you.”
It took a lot of effort for me not to welcome her back, and offer to give this vulnerable looking woman whatever she may need. There was still a deep part of me that wanted to fix things, but my brain was winning here. She sat silently as I watched her, looking at the dull hair and sallow skin, all the signs of poor nutrition and a lack of good health. I stood and ran my fingers through my hair.
“You should stay the night, it is getting late and I didn’t see a car, how did you get here?”
I heard my own voice, and it had softened. She met my eyes.
“I took a bus to Galveston and got a ride with a man who dropped me here. I don’t know where else I’d go Mickey.”
I closed my eyes tightly.
“Look, I am going to ask Annabelle to bring dinner for all of us, let’s get one thing straightened out though, please stop calling me Mickey, that boy is dead. He died when he was thirteen.”
She nodded.
“Okay, thank you.”
The spare bedroom was still in a habitable state, our packing had predominantly started in the kitchen and living room, leaving us another night or two of sleep space, but stupidly no cooking space. So Lorraine took a small bag to the room, and I left her to freshen up while I phoned Anna.
“Baby, I am sorry, I am letting her stay here tonight, can you possibly bring dinner for the three of us when you come home? I am in need of holding you, I never thought it would be hard to admit it, but I feel stronger with you around.”
Annabelle smiled broadly when she pushed the door open later. The sun was just setting, and I felt like a right rat for having admitted a weakness to the woman I most wanted to see me as a strong protector, my future wife of all things. She came up to me and kissed me where I sat on the couch with a box of books in front of me,.
“I am glad you need me, what else would be the point of getting married?” She asked grinning.
I hugged her, “Just don’t tell anyone. Can’t go looking like a wuss in front of others.”
I watched her unpack Chinese takeout onto the coffee table, and then she disappeared off down the passage to call Lorraine. She had pushed me back down to the couch when I had tried to stand instead. We all sat on the floor around the low table to eat, and it was Annabelle who broke the odd and uncomfortable silence that hung in the air like treacle.
“Lorraine, where have you been all these years if you don’t mind my asking? I don’t know too much about you because it’s a difficult subject for Michel.”
She asked this gently, with a hand on my arm, and I nodded at her, kissing her cheek. Lorraine looked from Annabelle to me, and back before she spoke.
“I can see you two are very happy together, and I’m glad.” She gulped down a mouthful of noodles, “After Michel left, his father lost his job, and we moved to a little shithole down South. It wasn’t the easiest time in our lives, having lost him, and then having no money.”
She stopped speaking to eat a bit more. When she continued, she wiped more tears from her eyes.
“When I heard Michel was back I immediately wanted to come and find him, but his father…” she trailed off, “His father refused, and then when he died I had to try and get things in order. I came as soon as I could.”
I ate my noodles in silence while this monologue was being delivered, listening to her speak. Her voice changed tones several times, and I tried to pick up any falsehood, but I couldn’t at that stage. She looked down at her food then and ate the rest of her meal in silence.
Annabelle nudged me, and I took a breath.
“I am glad you are here, even though it took so many years. I didn’t exactly have it easy you know. Um, I guess I need to put the past behind me. Lorraine, Annabelle and I are getting married when we get to our new home, the farm we have bought. It should be in a few months, would you like to come?”
A smile broke across her face, and she nodded vigorously.
“I would love to! More than anything!” She exclaimed.
When we went to bed I curled up against Annabelle and held her as she lay with her back against my chest.
“Thank you,” I whispered into her hair, “Thank you for being a calm voice of reason.”
I kissed her and adjusted my position as she turned and wiggled against me. She turned over and placed her small hands against my naked chest, and I felt her breasts, the soft satin of her naked skin on mine. She rubbed herself against me, and reached a hand down…
“I’ll sometimes be reason, and I’ll sometimes be lust… My roles alternate lover.”
**************************
She felt him stiffen in her hand and lifted her right leg to throw it over his thigh. They lay on their sides, and it was an aw
kward, yet incredibly intimate position. She kissed him, and while their lips were locked together she lifted her hips to slide onto him, enveloping his body in hers. Annabelle felt him shudder against her, and started slowly moving her hips. Michel breathed against her lips, and dug his fingers into the skin on her back.
“I love feeling you, being inside you,” he said.
She sighed and changed position, moving away from him to stand on her hands and knees.
