by Jordan Marie
Copyright © 2016 by Jordan Marie
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including but not limited to being stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, groups, businesses, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover Design: Robin Harper of Wicked By Design
Cover Model: Jase Dean
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Interior Design & Editing: Daryl Banner
DISCLAIMER: This book is intended for mature audiences. It contains adult language and explicit sexuality. Not intended for readers under the age of 18. Reader discretion advised.
DEDICATION
To my soon-to-be-here granddaughter: Penny, may you always believe in the impossible. Spread your wings and never be afraid to make that jump.
Jordan
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Epilogue
Happy Trail (Sneak Peek)
Unlawful Seizure (Bonus Book)
FOREWORD
It’s that time again! Thank you for taking a chance on reading White. This book has been a labor of love and I’m in a love/hate relationship with White. I rewrote this book four times, and by the last time I told him he was either happy with his story or he could shut it. (Yes the voices in my head are real to me. It’s a problem—or a blessing.)
I hope you love this couple as much as Gray and CC. Kayla has issues. She had to work through them and as much as I wanted to shake her at times, abuse is hard to put behind you. Her insecurities and her vulnerabilities reminded me a lot of myself.
Over the next few months my back catalog will be leaving the Kindle Unlimited program and will be distributed wide. It was a decision I made after careful consideration and much thought. I may try a few wide releases on new books, but I will always sell on Amazon and offer a 99 cent special if you buy it on release day. I definitely understand how it’s hard for a reader to come by money to purchase the books they want. It’s why I’ve always been a strong supporter of KU in general.
At the end of White and Kayla’s story you will find a bonus book. This one is Unlawful Seizure, my first book I wrote as Baylee Rose. Max is kind of special to me and he is a bad boy. This is spicier and more instant love than my other books. So there’s your warning.
Please let me know how you liked my book! I love hearing from readers. All my stalking links will be at the end of the book.
All my love and gratitude,
Jordan
CHAPTER 1
KAYLA
“You’re what??!”
I hold the phone away from my ear, wincing. That man can yell.
“Calm down, White. I said, I’m getting married.”
“Who the fuck to? Kayla, if you’re still seeing that bastard Crenshaw after he…”
“I’m not seeing Bobby.”
“Damn it! That was only a month ago. How are you getting married?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Well, it just so happens I seem to have a lot of free time on my hands, so explain it to me.”
“Yeah, right. Football season starts next week. I may not watch that crap, but I keep up with the MVP in last year’s big game.”
“Obviously not enough, or you would know I messed up my fucking shoulder again two weeks ago. I’m out for at least another six weeks.”
“Oh no, White! I’m so sorry. You didn’t tell me! Why didn’t you at least text me?”
“If I had, you would have told me how I shouldn’t have been riding bulls in the off season and trying to conquer two sports. I already had my trainers, general manager and doctor’s harping enough.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t like knowing you’re taking chances and I panic, worrying something will happen to you. I know you’re an adrenaline junkie, but bull riding is dangerous.”
“Ironic that I got hurt playing football then, right?”
“I’m sorry White. I wish you’d told me. I would have been there.”
“You were dealing with enough, cleaning Crenshaw out of your life… or at least I thought you were. So come on, Kayla, tell me what’s going on.”
“You’re just going to get mad.”
“Tell me,” he growls, and I take a breath to shore up my courage. I’ve been best friends with White Hall Lucas since I was fifteen years old and his brother Green broke my heart. I was all set to go to the prom with Green and he stood me up when his girlfriend Cynthia suddenly wanted him back. Green welcomed her back with open arms, even though the bitch only did it because Tommy Haynes, the star quarterback, hurt his leg and couldn’t dance. Green was kind of an idiot when it came to Cynthia. According to White, he still can be, which is just plain sad.
I’ve come to love the Lucas family—from all of White’s brothers that their mother Ida Sue named after colors in a crayon box, to his sisters who are all named after flowers. And his mother, despite all of her far-out-there ways of naming her kids and her craziness, is one of the sweetest people you ever want to meet. They’re all kind, loving people who make you laugh and open their doors and hearts to you. Above them all, though, is White. White took me to the prom in his brother’s place. He dried my tears as I cried over his brother. He took me fishing and we just sort of began this friendship that’s lasted for fifteen years. A friendship I love. A friendship I hate. Hate because, though White may see me as his best friend—and I am, as he is mine—the truth is… I love him. I’m horribly, desperately, and irrevocably in love with White, and he doesn’t ha
ve a clue. I can’t tell him because there’s no way I can ruin our friendship. If he knew how much it has killed me through the years as he went from one woman to the next, it would change the way he sees me, and I can’t let that happen. White isn’t attracted to me. He never has been. He sees me as a buddy and has from day one. It sucks, but I’ve learned to adapt. I’ve had to; it’s the only way I can keep White in my life, and that is the most important thing.
“Kay? Talk to me,” he says, and the concern in his voice is my undoing, just like always.
“I’m lonely, White.”
“What?”
“I’m lonely. I’m not like you. I actually like being with another person. I enjoy quiet nights at home watching television. I like sharing a pizza and watching the big game. I enjoy being with just one person and knowing what to expect from them. I miss it. I’m lonely,” I tell him, wondering if he even realizes that the one person I do that the most with is him. It’s a stupid question, because he doesn’t. He never has understood that we spend more time together than any married couple, which was another reason I accepted Tommy’s proposal. I have to forget White. I have to get a little distance from him. I have to. I can’t keep going on like this.
“Being lonely isn’t a reason to get married, Kay. That’s not a good reason to tie yourself to someone. What if you—?”
“I want children, White.”
“What?” White asks, acting as if he doesn’t believe it, and maybe he doesn’t. He’s never wanted them. He talks all the time about how Green’s child destroyed his brother’s life. I don’t see it that way, but White never understood. “Kay, honey, you have plenty of time to have kids.”
“I’m almost thirty years old, White. I may have plenty of time, but I want to have them while I’m young enough to do things with them. I want to start living my life and I want a family. I want a home with kids, a husband, and a dog…”
“Damn it, Kay, you can’t just wake up one day and decide you want to get married. It’s not done that way.”
“I didn’t just do it one day. You just haven’t listened. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“Who is this man? You can’t really know him.”
I take a breath, knowing this will just make White worse. “Tommy Haynes.”
“Cynthia’s ex?” he almost screams. I wince and hold the phone away from my ear. It really is too early to be having this conversation.
“He hasn’t been with Cynthia in years,” I remind him.
“What the fuck ever. That man is as shady as they come.”
“He is not! He’s a good guy and I like him.”
“See? That right there! Like. You can’t like the man you marry, Kay. You’re supposed to love him.”
“I’ll grow to love him.”
“Or hate him. Don’t do this, Kayla. I’m begging you. Think about it for a little while. I didn’t even know you and Tommy were dating. Did you keep it hidden from me?”
“Do you blame me?”
“We don’t keep things from each other!”
“Like you didn’t keep the fact that you slept with my sister Rachel from me?”
Oops. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I really and truly didn’t. I wonder if he can tell the bitterness in my voice. Can he hear the hurt? That’s the real reason I agreed to marry Tommy. White sleeping with Rachel was the final straw, the shining beacon that said I was wasting my life dreaming about a man who would never see me as more than a buddy.
“She told you that?” White says quietly.
I swallow. Did he ask her not to? Is that why she hasn’t mentioned it? God, why does it feel like they betrayed me? Why? I shouldn’t feel that way. I shouldn’t be mad or hurt… but I am.
“Did you ask her not to?”
“Well, we both thought…”
“It’s okay, White. It’s not any of my business. But this can’t be yours, either. If I want to marry Tommy, then you should support me. We’re friends. That’s what friends do.”
“Kay…”
“Listen, I’ve got to go. I’m running late for work. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“We really should—”
“Bye, White,” I say, not giving him time to talk anymore and hanging up. I stare at the phone in my hand for a few more minutes. I hung up on White. It feels wrong. It feels… like the end of an era, and I guess it is. I’m going to marry Tommy Haynes. Things have to change.
I keep repeating that all the way to work. Somehow, it doesn’t help.
CHAPTER 2
WHITE
“Who are you screaming at in here? You’re interrupting my and Jansen’s morning devotional,” my mom Ida Sue says, coming in from outside. She’s buttoning up her shirt as she walks, and from the look of the straw in her hair, they were having “fun time” in the barn again. Jesus.
I really should just go back home to Dallas. Kayla and I both live there. Our apartments are actually in the same complex on the edge of the city. Mom’s is actually about three hours West. I started to stay home to recover, but everywhere I turned was a reminder that I wouldn’t be out on the field. I wouldn’t hear the roar of the crowd, or the wind rush from me when being sacked on the fifty-yard line. I wouldn’t be able to feel the exhilaration of making it all the way to the end zone.
Football is in my blood. It always has been. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Being home in Dallas and being denied what makes me whole was horrible, so I came back home to recuperate. At least my mom and Jansen have stopped having sex on the kitchen table. The one time I saw that, I thought I was going to have to gouge my eyes out.
“Kayla’s getting married,” I tell her.
“Oh, she told you. That’s good.”
“What?? You knew about this?”
“Dear, Kayla is here more than you are. She’s family.”
“Then why didn’t you stop her? She doesn’t love that asshole.”
“Maybe not. But she wants a child,” Mom points out, and the words settle in my stomach like lead.
“She doesn’t have to get married to have a baby, Mom.”
“Probably not, but Kayla’s a good girl. She’s not about to let someone she doesn’t know and trust just dip his wick in. That narrowed down her possibilities. That left you, Tommy, and little Mason who brings her groceries out at that store she shops at. And, well, he’s a little young, dear.”
“Jesus, Mom.”
“I’m just telling you like I see it. She would have talked to you about it, but you’ve made it clear how much you are against marriage and kids in general. She needed to talk to someone more open.”
“Meaning you.”
“Well, she is like one of my daughters.”
“Which is exactly why you should have talked her out of this. Or at least out of marrying Tommy. That’s crazy. She shouldn’t have to get married to have a kid.”
“Maybe not. Tommy is many things, but he’s not a fool.”
“What does that mean?”
“He’s not going to be stupid enough to let Kayla get away. If she wants a baby, he’ll make sure he ties her to him and then give her one.”
“Kayla will be miserable with him mom.”
“Probably. But sweetie, Kayla is painfully shy. She doesn’t even know her own worth. She sees this as her opportunity to have her own family and she wants it. I’ve made my own share of crazy decisions and look how they turned out. It will work out in the end.”
“It won’t work out if she ruins her life!”
“I don’t know what to tell you. Unless you plan on stepping up and offering to be her baby daddy, let it go. It’s Kayla’s mistake to make.”
“I’m not having kids, Mom. I saw what that shit did to Green. There’s no way in Hell I’m going to get myself in that kind of mess.”
“Green’s taste in women is to blame for that. That she-bitch from Hell he was married to was proof of that and Cynthia is just a boil on the ass of humanity. A good woman is nothing like th
at. A good woman nurtures a man, makes him stronger.”
“Amen to that,” Jansen says, picking that moment to come inside. He slaps my mom’s ass, then pulls her to his side. “What are we talking about?”
“Kayla deciding to marry Tommy.”
“Jesus, does everyone but me know about it?”
“Pretty much. I’ve got to say, I wasn’t crazy about the idea either. I was hoping you might offer to help her out,” Jansen responds.
“Kayla and I aren’t like that. We’re buddies,” I deny immediately. “I just care about her. I don’t want to see her ruin her life like this.”
“And you’ve never once choked your chicken thinking about her?” Ida Sue asks.
“Oh hell, I’m not talking about whacking off with my Mom.”
“Why on Earth not? It’s not like I haven’t walked in your room and caught you getting to know Pamela Hand-erson up close and personal—and more than once, I might add.”
“I can’t for the life of me figure out how I ever thought coming home was the best thing to do right now.”
“I’d say that’s the first smart thing you’ve done in a long damn time,” Jansen says.
“Definitely,” Mom agrees. “And the second smartest thing is to go chase down Kayla and play slap the salami.”
“Mom, we don’t have that type of relationship.”
“Seems to me, son, you only have two decisions here. She wants a baby. Unless you’ve had some surgery I don’t know about, you can make that happen. So do it—or stand back and let Tommy.”
“Do it?” I ask, not believing what my own mother is saying.
“Give her a baby.”
“It’s not worth the risk. I won’t lose Kayla,” I say out loud without even realizing it.
“Your decision, I suppose, but if you let her tie her wagon up to Tommy Haynes, you’ve already lost her. Give her a baby. I like kids. This house is too quiet as it is. I could use a few more grandkids,” Ida Sue says, patting me on the shoulder like I’m still a child before leaving the room.
